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Age gap relationships?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by BobbyZ, Apr 29, 2021.

  1. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I went through similar near misses twice when I was a veeerrryyy single 45.
    One was a lovely 22ish singer songwriter I knew from the dating place known as Whole Foods. I was trying to get her into the Lowell Folk Festival and it ended up working out so I was hanging out with her at the other bands performances.
    She really knocked me out but I was not up for her level of heartbreak or flirting at all. She kept moving closer, putting her hands on me, and I kept moving away.
    I really was certain she just wanted to use me and would never have stayed for long. I ran away terrified of what I might do and emailed her that I was reeeeaaallly ooooollllld and stuff.
    She got very defensive but better than being dumped by her.

    Then the daughter of family friends was chatting me up and wanting to get together so we went for a midnight beach walk under the full moon.
    For sure she wanted Mr right now and would have smashed my heart to bits.
    I told her that night that I really wanted to spend the night but just knew it was the wrong thing to do.
    She was straight with me, sad, didn’t want to let go, but went home alone.
    That got me a solid week of single lonesome heartache, knowing stuff has no bearing on our heart.
    I really love both those girls, not just lust, but damn I’ve had enough heartache and it’s not worth the screw to suffer that way.

    Ethics are part of it but really more just knowing it was never going to end well, so get out while the cutting is shallow!
     
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  2. Harry Styron

    Harry Styron Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

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    I like a wound G.
     
  3. JL_LI

    JL_LI Friend of Leo's

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    You've met my wife? Age has nothing to do with it. Or maybe it does. I'm 71. The missus is 71 too, heavy bottom like @telemnemonics string set. That came with age. I'm more of a .010 .013 .020 .036 .042 .046 set. .009 slinky chicks don't see much in a heavy middle 71 year old.
     
  4. BobbyZ

    BobbyZ Doctor of Teleocity

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    Oh I could get the official background information easily enough but I got enough Friday. The ex-boyfriend/baby daddy is a guy with drug and legal problems. Which wouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker but she's clearly not ready to be a somewhat responsible adult.
    Whole thing just sounds way more dramatic than I want to deal with, I'm not quite this guy yet. C3c7t5CWEAE3uiG.jpg
     
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  5. Viejo

    Viejo Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    1620069449629.png
     
  6. Hpilotman

    Hpilotman Tele-Meister

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    AGE IS A NUMBER.

    I have seen 40 year olds act 16 and 18 year olds act like 30 year olds.

    Not too many examples in this thread of men younger than the women. Even in High School I always went for girls my same age or OLDER.
     
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  7. That Cal Webway

    That Cal Webway Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    I'm single and no way would want to step outside of my age group.

    My gf is just 4 years younger than I.
     
  8. blue metalflake

    blue metalflake Doctor of Teleocity

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    My wife is 11 years younger than me - never been a problem.
     
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  9. markal

    markal Tele-Afflicted

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    We are friends with a few different couples in which the man is ~15 years older and I have a sibling in a similar position. I think it helps if the younger person in that situation is not too young and/or very mature. And it probably helps if the older person is young-at-heart (which, really, is the only way to live!). They both have to know what they’re signing up for. But it’s working out quite well for the people I know.
     
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  10. Drew617

    Drew617 Tele-Meister Silver Supporter

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    I'll be 40 in a couple months, my partner is 30. Been very good, easy and loving for several years now, including the birth of two kids, and all the joy and grind that comes with that. Knock wood, of course, complacency is disastrous in these matters. IME emotional/intellectual maturity is what really counts, and beyond a certain point most of us either have enough of that, or never will.

    My previous two relationships were with ladies who were both 10 years older than me. When I was still in my 20s, I felt that the same-age women I knew were too likely to be a little wild, overgrown teenagers. I've never really wanted to deal with that.

    10 years in either direction has never felt like a "generational" difference to me, so significant that it really has to be addressed or managed. 20 (either a 20 or 60 year old partner today) would feel weird to me now, but maybe less so later on. I can easily imagine a 50 and 70 year old being pretty compatible, for instance.
     
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  11. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Your choice of course!

    Figuring you drive a big snowplow, and fix old tube amps, so you're up for wrangling with good size problems and drama.

    Hard to say but this girl/ woman may be ready to take a crack at being a responsible adult and is asking you to help her with that?
    Or wants to rob you and maim you!

    IDK, what romance is drama free?

    How do we become "that guy"?
    Your choice!
    If you go for it and it all goes to hell, we got yer back!
    Just don't call us in the middle of the night from jail!

    BTW my suggestion to stop at the PO was so if the raid happens they let you go, having been informed beforehand that you're not a crook. No guarantee of course but a small insurance policy.
    Maybe best to call the dept and ask to sit down with the Chief, who will be sensitive to such conundrums and remember your respectful visit. I've done that a few times though never for romance!
    Lotta nice girls get mixed up in bad situations, while just as many are by nature, bad to the bone.

    A little of both is a nice recipe!
     
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  12. Fiesta Red

    Fiesta Red Poster Extraordinaire

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    What breed is her seeing eye dog?

    (I kid, I kid...)
     
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  13. haggardfan1

    haggardfan1 Friend of Leo's

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    I know, right?? :lol: And often wonder about her vision myself!

    Here's a funny story: the first year (2015) that I worked at the pharmacy I'm at now, we attended the store Christmas party. I didn't know anyone very well yet, and as soon as we walked in, a co-worker (who has since become my assistant, "work sister", and one of our best friends)--asked me "How much did you have to pay her to come with you??"

    I was mortified for a minute, but we laughed it off and I have since learned the coworker's sense of humor is just that way.
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2021
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  14. StrangerNY

    StrangerNY Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

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    When I met my wife-to-be (she came to work at an internet company as an email admin and I ran the graphics department), I was 44 and she was 22. We became friends, enjoyed hanging out, she moved in with me after two years and two years later we were married. We've been married for 17 years, still very happy, thanks.

    My wife is a superstar in her line of work, was a PM at Microsoft for 7 years, a director at her present job. Whip-smart - way, way smarter than me. But somehow the union of a super-intelligent corporate director and the gearhead rock dude has worked like a champ for the entire time. As far as I can remember, we've had maybe 3 arguments in the entire time we've been together.

    When something works, it works.

    And honestly, I had my doubts that the relationship would come to anything at first. No doubts now. We are happy and we make each other better people.

    - D
     
  15. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I have a golfing buddy who ran into a girlfriend from his past a little over a month ago. They had sort of dated when he was 16, and she 13 until her folks put a stop to it. He asked her; How would you like to spend the rest of your life beautiful? She replied I'd like to spend it with you! They drove to Vegas and got married a couple of weeks ago. He has been married several times, she has never been married. I feared since she had never married when push came to shove, she'd bolt and run. Not so, they are like two high school kids. He's a really good guy, from all appearances she's a good woman, I sincerely hope they make it. I hope life will just let this one little romance not fall apart.
     
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  16. ThermionicScott

    ThermionicScott Poster Extraordinaire

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    LOL, @telemnemonics doesn't want this story to be over yet! ;)
     
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  17. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Hell of course not!
    I come here for some drama!
    Bring on the drama, just not at my expense!
     
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  18. Oakville Dave

    Oakville Dave Friend of Leo's

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    My current girlfriend and my previous girlfriend are both 10 years younger than me. I look quite a bit younger than my age so that is helpful. When I was 28 I dated a 40 year old casually for a few months. All in all I’ve had good experiences with age gap relationships. It depended more on the maturity level and shared interests than age.
     
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  19. DekeDog

    DekeDog Tele-Afflicted

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    I was 8 years older than my first wife (and only 14 years younger than her mother). Turned out my ex was more mature than I was.
     
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  20. john_cribbin

    john_cribbin Tele-Afflicted

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    I was seeing a woman 27 years younger than me for about 10 years.

    Did I mention I'm on cardiac meds for life now?
     
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