After Playing Guitar For 35+ years, I've Never............

"After Playing Guitar For 35+ years..."
I'll bet your fingers are pretty darn sore.

 

I know I've told this story before but it seems appropriate:

I was visiting my old home town and was passing through one of the neighboring towns on the way. I spied a jacked up, lime green Road Runner parked in front of the bar and just knew who it had to belong to. I figured it was Roger, a guy I used to fight with quite a bit in the 70's. He was an a-hole and was pissed that I wound up with his girlfriend. At one point I met him being released from jail at the same time I was going in for missing a court date. I was going to be there for the weekend and had no smokes or toothbrush. He had a big grin on his face and tossed me a sack with half a carton of Marlboros and his toothbrush. Yeah...I used it.

Anyway, I went in the bar and, sure enough, there was Roger. I sat down bought him a few drinks and we talked about the old days. He was getting pretty buzzed and he told me, "Ya know Bill, I don't think I'm going to be around much longer"...

Well, that saddened me and I just knew he was going to tell me he'd been diagnosed with some kind of terminal cancer or the like. I looked at him and my tone got somber and I said to him, "Man, I'm sorry. Why do you think that?"

He looked at me dead serious and said, "I just don't like anybody".

 

Heya, Telefunken

Looks like you've started an epic thread here!

My hypothesis: each person has a different need / tolerance / requirement for social time, versus private time.

I like the office, and get on well, but when I go home at the end of the day my heart lifts at the thought of heading back to my family and the private sphere.

Although in recent years I've staged a long and mostly successful retreat into private time, I'm now sensing that it's time to to dial it more toward social time. In musical terms, maybe some band time coming up . . . maybe not . . . but the dial is heading back in the other direction.

Anyway, just a passing observation on your interesting post. Be curious to see if it rhymes or echoes with your own experience.

Cheers

Matt

 

I'm exactly opposite, at least with regard to the electric guitar. For me, playing an electric guitar--owning 4 amps, 10 pedals, and 15 electric guitars--is kind of pointless if not used in the context of playing in a band. I'm ok with strumming an acoustic alone on my couch or front porch... not so with the electric. Have hardly owned any electrics in the last 5-10 years.

And though I'm not that good, I really don't have a lot of anxiety about playing with others. However, I'm NOT good at 'jamming.' I'm only good at playing songs which we all know.

 

Nailed it.

 

So why do you live in the "normal" world then??
If it was me who wanted to be that disconnected......I would have found a very very remote place, and lived there.

 

I think this post is related to the OP's idea, because I see the value of enjoying your playing at home. After playing lots of gigs for the last couple of years, I got really burned out, and am having the time of my life just playing at home. Of course I do still have an audience - my wife and my cat. Until they tell me to stop playing I guess I'm safe.

 

You wife was wrong, you're not a sociopath. What you describe falls more into the psychopath category BUT I'm sure if you are, you're a good one

 

Coincidentally, I'm reading a novel based around Ted Bundy at the moment.

 

I am having trouble with normal
Haha yes the old money trap.....
I have played home as well for the last 18 years as well...
Mostly because my kids where small back then, and did not have the time, today I am happy that I did not kept doing it.....there is no future in playing anything here.

Music has no value any more to people.

 

Have you ever been evaluated for Autism?

Serious question.

 

Enjoy the gift of music as it comes to you.

 

See, this is what really bugs me. Why do people like me have to have an 'ism' or a 'syndrome' before you 'normals' will accept us?

Be very happy that I am not a 'path' with violent tendencies.

Don't worry, be happy.

 

I recently picked up a kids' book at the library about helping autistic people in social situations. One section split it into a venn diagram - them, other people, and a common ground - and they should concentrate on the middle section when interacting. What struck me most was how most adults I know could learn from this book. I find stupidity and self-absorption to be a much more worrying trait, and much more prevalent, than people who simply like to keep to themselves.

I identify a lot with what telefunken is saying. There's a certain personality which I would consider anti-autism, that you're too aware of people, can read them too easily, and ironically it manifests itself in autistic-like behaviour. It's probably anti-social rather than anything more sinister. You just can't be doing with the bulls**t and hassle. I'm fully aware of what's going on - the chances are if I'm not talking to you it's because a) I don't like small talk, and b) you're probably an idiot. 'Normal' people like to be validated, and you're just a syphon for that.

 

^^^ This.

 

The idea that other people are idiots is appealing to you?

As I wrote earlier, I like to be alone and my profession requires hours and hours of solitary work researching and writing. I like that. But the idea that other people are idiots is a grim and dangerous self-delusion. Empathy, dude, empathy. It's powerful and wonderful. It's a key component of love. You can have empathy and still be quiet and not engage in small talk. You can have empathy and still be left alone. But it requires intelligence.

 

Thank you so much for not wanting to kill the rest of us. We will try to be more grateful

 

It's my inherent empathy for others that keeps you safe.

Honest.