About to give up

Awel

TDPRI Member
Joined
Feb 25, 2014
Posts
14
Location
Belgium
Hi everyone,
I started to play around 91, have played in several bands, from pop to thrash, going through blues, rock, classic rock cover band …
I slowly started being fed up and tired of gig in’; moving the PA, the gear, leaving my wife and daughter the weekend, playing in front of few drunk people always asking if you could do smoke on the water or sweet home Alabama, small or no stages at all.
I don’t know perhaps I’m worn out, have the feeling of all this time of rehearsal, writing songs, work on the arrangements.. is pure lost.
Does anyone here already been in that state of mind?
Thanks
Al
 

nojazzhere

Doctor of Teleocity
Ad Free Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2017
Posts
18,175
Age
70
Location
Foat Wuth, Texas
Hi everyone,
I started to play around 91, have played in several bands, from pop to thrash, going through blues, rock, classic rock cover band …
I slowly started being fed up and tired of gig in’; moving the PA, the gear, leaving my wife and daughter the weekend, playing in front of few drunk people always asking if you could do smoke on the water or sweet home Alabama, small or no stages at all.
I don’t know perhaps I’m worn out, have the feeling of all this time of rehearsal, writing songs, work on the arrangements.. is pure lost.
Does anyone here already been in that state of mind?
Thanks
Al
If you started playing at the age of 91, I'm not surprised you're fed up and tired. ;)
 

JohnnyThul

Tele-Meister
Joined
Nov 18, 2021
Posts
331
Age
39
Location
Germany
I can hear you 🙂 Same here, although, with own songs, which is worse, because then there is even no money involved.

I quit playing gigs about 6 years ago and I miss it sometimes, but, you always think much better of how a gig could be, than it is in reality.

My solution would be to have my own little club, my own stage etc. and have people to come by to have a gig at my conditions.
Unfortunately I am short of a few bucks to realize it. Yet.🙂
 

Double Stop

Tele-Holic
Joined
Jul 18, 2020
Posts
945
Location
Third Stone
Sounds grueling. The reasons you mention are exactly why I personally have no interest in being a touring musician. Perhaps when I was in my '20s I entertained that notion more, but even back then I was more content just practicing everyday and striving to be the best I can possibly be.

Would it be nice making a living at playing music? Sure. However, my version of that is purely fantasy and a largely unrealistic one where I could do that without ever having to tour, much less do all the extra self-promoting that comes along with all that. Just being able to play guitar everyday is enough joy for me.
 

schmee

Telefied
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Jun 2, 2003
Posts
20,117
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northwest
Been there for sure. It's more the band/gig management then the loading and playing for me. But yeah, time away from home, schlepping gear around.... PITA.
Playing in a Duo reinvigorated me some. I love the "space", no drums banging in my ear etc. You can play and sing with SO MUCH MORE nuance! Gear is small, setup is easy, pay is much better...
 

KeithDavies 100

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May 19, 2021
Posts
361
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59
Location
Cambridge, UK
I think maybe we've all been there at some point. Rut? I don't know what the magic solution is. Life has peaks and troughs, I guess, and you work through the low points and come out the other side.

If what you're playing, or where, or who with, really isn't floating your boat any more though, perhaps think about stopping that and doing something else, even if you're not quite sure what?

I played in a covers band for a while. Loved the guys, loved the crowds we played in and everything, but really wanted to be playing something more interesting. More "me". You know? Maybe eventually you have to take that step.

For God's sake don't stop altogether. Remember this is all that's keeping most of us anywhere near sane!! :)
 

mindlobster

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
Nov 26, 2010
Posts
1,572
Location
London England
Hi everyone,
I started to play around 91, have played in several bands, from pop to thrash, going through blues, rock, classic rock cover band …
I slowly started being fed up and tired of gig in’; moving the PA, the gear, leaving my wife and daughter the weekend, playing in front of few drunk people always asking if you could do smoke on the water or sweet home Alabama, small or no stages at all.
I don’t know perhaps I’m worn out, have the feeling of all this time of rehearsal, writing songs, work on the arrangements.. is pure lost.
Does anyone here already been in that state of mind?
Thanks
Al
Well, you're not obliged to play, there are other things to do. But more than ever there are a lot of people who enjoy playing at home, maybe recording themselves too, or sharing on social media. Perhaps you'll just find a different way of expressing yourself.
 

Killing Floor

Poster Extraordinaire
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Feb 3, 2021
Posts
8,407
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Austin, TX
After I came off the road I learned to balance what I want (performing, sometimes recording, bus loads of groupies 😂) with what some people expect (as many rehearsals and terrible gigs for the sake of gigging) and there is a happy middle ground. Gigging is supposed to not be a negative experience. But that entails not taking crappy gigs. And you don’t have to be best friends with everyone you play with but you have to get along or it clouds the experience. Exceptions are easy to make when you are paid accordingly.
 

nojazzhere

Doctor of Teleocity
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Joined
Feb 3, 2017
Posts
18,175
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70
Location
Foat Wuth, Texas
I can hear you 🙂 Same here, although, with own songs, which is worse, because then there is even no money involved.

I quit playing gigs about 6 years ago and I miss it sometimes, but, you always think much better of how a gig could be, than it is in reality.

My solution would be to have my own little club, my own stage etc. and have people to come by to have a gig at my conditions.
Unfortunately I am short of a few bucks to realize it. Yet.🙂
I played for several years with a bassist who did just that.....he built a "club" attached to the back of his house. Probably 900-1000 square feet, stage at one end, built in sound system, full backline of amps and drums. Very cool set up. Unfortunately, I quickly learned that the reason he did it was because he was such a poor player, that no one would play with him otherwise. He WAS a nice guy, but I finally got so frustrated with his bad playing I diplomatically bowed out. ;)
 

Peegoo

Doctor of Teleocity
Joined
Oct 11, 2019
Posts
12,875
Location
Beast of Bourbon
I've done it.

Ultimately it comes down to what you want from all the effort. In many cases (mine too), it had nothing to do with getting famous, cutting a record, being a guitar hero, or even making money doing it.

It was all about the pure fun of playing music with others. It sure was a blast.

I got out of gigging when my damaged back prevented me from hauling gear around. I still love playing with others, and I get that fix by regularly getting together with friends and playing informally, attending jams, and doing the occasional open mic.
 

GoldDeluxe5E3

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
Aug 5, 2015
Posts
1,610
Location
Concord, California
few drunk people always asking if you could do smoke on the water or sweet home Alabama
I was at an Oktoberfest in Clayton, Ca a few years ago that was attended by thousands of beer-pumped partiers. There was a huge dance floor with a very good polka band entertaining about two hundred dancers.

Between songs, I bellowed "PLAY FREEBIRD!" at the stage just as they were starting their next polka. The band director glared in my direction, as did my dance-partner wife. Just as I guessed I'd gone too far with the old joke, he signaled the band to stop instantly and spoke into the microphone:

"Wait, he wants to hear Freebird!" The band pounced on the opening strains of the song, accordions blaring.

It was musical Aikido.
 

ChicknPickn

Friend of Leo's
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Apr 16, 2007
Posts
2,970
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Ole Virginny
I was at an Oktoberfest in Clayton, Ca a few years ago that was attended by thousands of beer-pumped partiers. There was a huge dance floor with a very good polka band entertaining about two hundred dancers.

Between songs, I bellowed "PLAY FREEBIRD!" at the stage just as they were starting their next polka. The band director glared in my direction, as did my dance-partner wife. Just as I guessed I'd gone too far with the old joke, he signaled the band to stop instantly and spoke into the microphone:

"Wait, he wants to hear Freebird!" The band pounced on the opening strains of the song, accordions blaring.

It was musical Aikido.
I did this at a NYC classical performance. The guitarist looked shocked at first, then started laughing and shaking his head. He played a few lines. Fortunately, we are related by marriage.
 

memorex

Poster Extraordinaire
Joined
Jan 14, 2015
Posts
5,446
Age
72
Location
Sweet Lorain, OH
I know how you feel, I'm an old man myself, and I don't care much about bands anymore. I have let friends of mine who have asked me to play with them know the following

I'll stand in with you if:

I don't have to learn any songs I don't already know (or I can fake 'em)
I don't have to schlep any gear but my own, I don't have to help you set up the PA
The band plays very softly on stage and I don't need to wear ear plugs
I get paid at least $100 for the night

I don't get too many calls, and I like it like that.
 

loopfinding

Friend of Leo's
Joined
Jun 19, 2011
Posts
4,833
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europe endless
Do you write music? Music that I write, I don’t care if anyone comes. It’s just a shot at “can we realize this?” I’ve played gigs of my own music halfway across the world to literally 5-10 people, haha. It’s fine. And the majority of music I write never even sees the light of day, but it’s fun and it’ll come in handy some day.

But if you’re just covering stuff, being a player only, I can see why it’s easy to get discouraged. The only “cover” gigs I’ve done has been classical stuff as a kid. A rock cover band? No way I could do that, I’d get bored after one or two shows.
 
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Awel

TDPRI Member
Joined
Feb 25, 2014
Posts
14
Location
Belgium
Do you write music? Music that I write, I don’t care if anyone comes. It’s just a shot at “can we realize this?” I’ve played gigs of my own music halfway across the world to literally 5-10 people, haha. It’s fine. And the majority of music I write never even sees the light of day, but it’s fun and it’ll come in handy some day.

But if you’re just covering stuff, being a player only, I can see why it’s easy to get discouraged. The only “cover” gigs I’ve done has been classical stuff as a kid. A rock cover band? No way I could do that, I’d get bored after one or two shows.
I have my own rock blues trio playing mainly my own songs.
Thing is that you’re always dreaming that the next show will be sold out or that within the 4 people attending your show there is a promoter that will make your publicity and promote your band for biggest venues…
But … same old sad places, you do your stuff, drink a last beer and take your 100$ :(
 




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