You have a point. Fate, and my lack of knowledge thrust me into a situation, I was poorly equipped to handle. I'm not excusing myself, but some things as you say take some experience in life before you can even begin to navigate troubled waters. That whole episode had doom written on it from the beginning, but I did/could not read the signs.I'll tell you what, walk outside, look up and down the street till an eighteen year old dude walks by.
Have a close look at that slack jawed vacant eyed sucker, then forgive yourself.
I mean, the male brain is not even fully formed until the age of 25.
Cut yourself some slack
I think the reason we view events from the past differently, is because we are viewing them, not in real time, but in a speeded-up frame of thought that allows us to view a complicated event, in a millisecond. Whereas in real life, it has taken considerable time for that event to unfold. It only takes me a second to remember jumping on a slow-moving freight with my dad as a child of eight years old, but in truth, it took quite a while for that event to actually happen.As we age....you look back at events in your life. We see them different now, why?
I had a dog that took a bullet for my familyHe took the bullet for you, good dog. I would not feel so bad as he had a good life with you.
You post points out part of the equation of seeing things differently in reflection. When we are young and creating memories, we don't have a lifetime of experience to draw on as we create what will be memories in our future. Still, what we see in memory, is like looking at a video of an event we have participated in, rather than actually living that event. The video may even capture sounds occurring during the event, but not the feelings you had, the wind in your hair, the light filtering through the trees, the touch of your hands.Or is it because we are a little smarter and little wiser.....and we can now see the mistakes that were made.
I am not very good at this. But your post sure got me thinking.
Mr. Haggard, you continue the theme of "past regrets".but it doesn't change the fact that it (they) haunt me now and always will.
Your comments are very good, and accurate as far as nursing guilt and regret. It's hard not to do though. The longer we live the more baggage we carry around with us. I should say most of us. My wife handles grief and disappointment better than anyone I've ever known. She is just STRONG though physically she's not very big. She can simply put a disappointing, even tragic event in her life behind her, and that's the end of it.Mr. Haggard, you continue the theme of "past regrets".
I pointed out (in a flippant manner, no offence meant) that the "regrets" were made by our younger selves, who were not quite the fully rounded emotionally mature creatures we are today
Also, the regrets don't seem to be "invading Poland", "keeping human heads in the refrigerator" etc, they seem to be things that were badly handled, not deliberate wrongdoing.
In other words, a failure of judgement rather than a failure of morality.
Could it be, with maturity, we see more clearly the moral implications of an innocent lack of judgement?
Then maybe assess ourselves a little too harshly?
I have plenty of regrets too, I find them painful.
If I mentioned them, you would probably find them inconsequential, or maybe even funny