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Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by PhoenixBill, Apr 16, 2021.
She doesn't need a sex toy now.
That's probably the result of using a blade that doesn't lock.....don't ask me how I know.
Okay, you won't have to ask...I'll tell you. When I was a kid, maybe 7 or 8, I took my Dad's pocket knife. For some reason, I have no idea why, I went across the street and tried to slash the neighbour's car tires. Again, I have no good reason why other than being young and stupid. The knife closed on my right hand pointing finger and cut quite deep into the knuckle. I didn't tell anyone because I was scared. I guess it got infected and then the truth came out. The knuckle is, to this day, larger and swollen looking compared to the others. I'm pretty sure I have that knife somewhere.
Everything I'd like to say about this would cause me to be permanently blocked. I'm just going back to my cocktail and listening to Bessie Smith. Have a good night, and count your fingers and toes. Remember, when you're pissed, count to ten before doing anything!
That thing would be on ebay right now. Or on a string around my neck.
It could be someone setting someone up. A false finger.
This event just might start a craze for a new beverage to finally dethrone the venerated Sour Toe Cocktail.
https://www.atlasobscura.com/places...d in 1973, the Sourtoe,a drink of your choice.
And yes, I've even got the tee shirt.
He wakes up every morning now and can't quite put a finger on why he failed anger management, twice.
Mike Myers is at home writing down every one of these puns for Austin Powers 6.
I heard they asked the neighbor if he saw anything but he didn't want to...yep you guessed it.
if he was my neighbor his new nickname would be hack wilson.
Hey Hack Wilson, high five.
Who gets stitches?
The neighbor probably did that on purpose...to leave his or her own personal mark.
How do you actually cut... no, wait, on second thoughts I don't want to know.
Hey... leave my dog out of it. He only eats Chicken Fingers!
Sounds like the tire slasher is 'all thumbs'.
I was just making another OJ joke. The shoeprints found at that crime scene had a tread pattern that matched a pair of OJ's Bruno Magli shoes.
Sadly, neither that evidence nor my joke got any traction.
He is now...
If anyone ever earned this award, it's this guy.