A Gentleman's Guide to Christmas Shopping for His Wife

Jim622

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I can count on ONE constant in the world. WHATEVER I buy my wife for Christmas will:

Not be acceptable.

A thunderclap can be heard as she exits the house to take the offending object back.

I will not be surprised in the least, and will take the opportunity to watch some football while she's gone.

TD - I suspect we may be married to the same woman.
 

kaludjerko

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In the lives of some husbands, Christmas shopping time looms as a time of discomfort. I've noticed that around this time of year, forums begin to ring with the anxious cries as good men uproot generous chunks of what hair they have left while trying to figure out what to give their wives. This year, supply chain issues have complicated the situation and served as a warning that you better swoop in early and get your gifts because stocks are low... and once they are gone they are GONE.

giftsm.jpg

I have a system for that. Lord willing, I will make it through the season with joy... and even fun. I have shared my home with a beautiful, kind woman for forty-one years at this point. Over that time I've created a system that allows me to navigate Christmas shopping for my wife with aplomb and vigor and to bring some small joy to her heart on Christmas morning. I eventually even wrote up a small treatise on my system and posted it on my webpage.

So... Every year around this time I update the webpage that contains my "Gentleman's Guide to Christmas Shopping for His Wife - The Food Groups System" and post it to my favorite forums as an encouragement and comfort to you, my friends. You can find it HERE.

Happy and successful hunting... and gift-giving!!!

Bob
Before this thread runs downhill (not that there is anything wrong with that :)) let me thank you for sharing your findings. Much appreciated.
 

EsquireBoy

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I can count on ONE constant in the world. WHATEVER I buy my wife for Christmas will:

Not be acceptable.

A thunderclap can be heard as she exits the house to take the offending object back.

I will not be surprised in the least, and will take the opportunity to watch some football while she's gone.
My dad once gifted my stepmom a new trash can for Christmas. Sure it was automated, fancy and all, but still... it was a trash can.
Surely one heard this thunderclap you talk about. She kept the new trash can and still owns it to this day nonetheless.
 

runstendt

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I love the website; I certainly could use it more frequently than just Christmas. Honestly, I go full-blown engineer for holidays. I keep a spreadsheet of gifts for family members that I can organize by holiday, date, and price. I'll include a description of the item as well as a link so that I can find it later. I'm usually complimented on my gift-buying skills, but it's purely because I shop all year, and might buy something in May that's a great present for a birthday in November.

The site gives me another idea. I've been thinking about creating a website with easy dessert recipes that husbands and boyfriends with minimal cooking experience can use to come across as competent culinarians.
 

Red Ryder

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im not married...but two things i would do if i was

1 - ask her what she wants

2 - remember things she had interest in throughout the year...write them down to be sure youll know by christmas


relating to #1 if you have a wife that takes offense to being asked what she wants...cause she wants a hubby to be a romantic type...know yourself if youre that type or not...so find out before marriage whether or not you can deal with that and dont marry her if you cant
It's obvious you're not married. A married man will not do those two things.
 

MarkieMark

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im not married...but two things i would do if i was

1 - ask her what she wants

2 - remember things she had interest in throughout the year...write them down to be sure youll know by christmas.

Well, the second is wise to aspire to, though in my experience real day to day life often gets in the way of achieving that.

The first... Foggetaboutit.
Common answer number 1 "I dont want anything" or similar. Dont fall for it. Ever.
Rarely will you be enlightened with a useful answer anyway.

Continue to strive for number two. Be thoughtful.

But I am very lucky. Non-materialistic wife. She doesnt want or wear jewelry or designer anything. Happy with simple things. I literally can show her an interesting rock and get a response like "Ooh! Treasure!" And she collects the silly things I give her all the time. Trolling the thrift store I picked up a handmade ceramic piggy bank painted by some random kid and said "look, it wants to come home with us!" $1.50 and it becomes a long term prized possession that would make her cry if it got broken.
Its about the memories we make.
Very lucky.

*Oh, and for the record I did gift a vacuum cleaner one Christmas and she fully got the joke and was thankful, knowing it was really just something we both needed anyway. An "us" gift.
Hmm. This year we "need" a new microwave...

Good luck fellas, this ones taken.
 

Happy Enchilada

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I often remind my wife that I gave her two beautiful sons - what on earth could she possibly want beyond that? :p

Seriously - if your wife NEVER approves of your Christmas gifts, maybe you should get her something different this year ... like a nice DIVORCE. Gratitude isn't just for Thanksgiving. And a lack of it in a grown-ass woman is a definite flaw that can't be fixed. Just sayin' ...
 

Toto'sDad

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But it ends up as....

"Diamonds... You spent 10 times more than you planned, and it was still half of what she expected!" :p

Many years ago, I learned if you are going to buy a diamond for her, it had damned sure better be something you can see from clear across the room, IN A BIG ROOM!
 

Jim_in_PA

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In the lives of some husbands, Christmas shopping time looms as a time of discomfort.
Interestingly, I've never felt that discomfort. I made it a point from the beginning about 25 years ago (married 20 now) to know my partner-in-crime well...what she like, what she needs, etc. Gifts are never a problem. That's also likely going to pay off even more going forward as she's experiencing some cognitive issues and I need to be able to anticipate things on her behalf.
 

Toto'sDad

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I often remind my wife that I gave her two beautiful sons - what on earth could she possibly want beyond that? :p

Seriously - if your wife NEVER approves of your Christmas gifts, maybe you should get her something different this year ... like a nice DIVORCE. Gratitude isn't just for Thanksgiving. And a lack of it in a grown-ass woman is a definite flaw that can't be fixed. Just sayin' ...

I have the best wife a man could possibly have, been with her for 56 years, she just likes picking out her own things. I'm not much on her picking out my stuff either. Usually all I'm interested in is golf stuff, and guitars. I'm done buying guitars, I got my amp working pretty good, so I don't know what she could buy me that would have me doing flip flops.

I don't do power tools, one year she bought me a nice power saw, I "loaned" it to my son, about twenty years ago. A guy who plays guitar doesn't have any business with power tools.
 

Brad Pittiful

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Well, the second is wise to aspire to, though in my experience real day to day life often gets in the way of achieving that.

The first... Foggetaboutit.
Common answer number 1 "I dont want anything" or similar. Dont fall for it. Ever.
Rarely will you be enlightened with a useful answer anyway.

Continue to strive for number two. Be thoughtful.

But I am very lucky. Non-materialistic wife. She doesnt want or wear jewelry or designer anything. Happy with simple things. I literally can show her an interesting rock and get a response like "Ooh! Treasure!" And she collects the silly things I give her all the time. Trolling the thrift store I picked up a handmade ceramic piggy bank painted by some random kid and said "look, it wants to come home with us!" $1.50 and it becomes a long term prized possession that would make her cry if it got broken.
Its about the memories we make.
Very lucky.

*Oh, and for the record I did gift a vacuum cleaner one Christmas and she fully got the joke and was thankful, knowing it was really just something we both needed anyway. An "us" gift.
Hmm. This year we "need" a new microwave...

Good luck fellas, this ones taken.

im not married and i use common sense...but then factor in a woman and all that goes out the window :lol:
 




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