A Gentleman's Guide to Christmas Shopping for His Wife

[Bob Womack]

In the lives of some husbands, Christmas shopping time looms as a time of discomfort. I've noticed that around this time of year, forums begin to ring with the anxious cries as good men uproot generous chunks of what hair they have left while trying to figure out what to give their wives. This year, supply chain issues have complicated the situation and served as a warning that you better swoop in early and get your gifts because stocks are low... and once they are gone they are GONE.

​

I have a system for that. Lord willing, I will make it through the season with joy... and even fun. I have shared my home with a beautiful, kind woman for forty-one years at this point. Over that time I've created a system that allows me to navigate Christmas shopping for my wife with aplomb and vigor and to bring some small joy to her heart on Christmas morning. I eventually even wrote up a small treatise on my system and posted it on my webpage.

So... Every year around this time I update the webpage that contains my "Gentleman's Guide to Christmas Shopping for His Wife - The Food Groups System" and post it to my favorite forums as an encouragement and comfort to you, my friends. You can find it HERE.

Happy and successful hunting... and gift-giving!!!

Bob

 

[3fngrs]

DeBeers new slogan...

"Diamonds, that'll shut her up."

 

[JL_LI]

Anything you give gets you three days of peace in the valley. It’s not three days per hundred or three days per thousand. I got three days for a BMW Z4. She was yelling again before the first payment was due.

 

[ndcaster]

Chocolate helps

 

[3fngrs]

In the lives of some husbands, Christmas shopping time looms as a time of discomfort. I've noticed that around this time of year, forums begin to ring with the anxious cries as good men uproot generous chunks of what hair they have left while trying to figure out what to give their wives. This year, supply chain issues have complicated the situation and served as a warning that you better swoop in early and get your gifts because stocks are low... and once they are gone they are GONE.

​

I have a system for that. Lord willing, I will make it through the season with joy... and even fun. I have shared my home with a beautiful, kind woman for forty-one years at this point. Over that time I've created a system that allows me to navigate Christmas shopping for my wife with aplomb and vigor and to bring some small joy to her heart on Christmas morning. I eventually even wrote up a small treatise on my system and posted it on my webpage.

So... Every year around this time I update the webpage that contains my "Gentleman's Guide to Christmas Shopping for His Wife - The Food Groups System" and post it to my favorite forums as an encouragement and comfort to you, my friends. You can find it HERE.

Happy and successful hunting... and gift-giving!!!

Bob

I looked your site over. It's actually very thoughtful. Unfortunately, I'm not. Anything in an "Apathy" group?

Just kidding, my woman gets well taken care of.

 

[ChicknPickn]

DeBeers new slogan...

"Diamonds, that'll shut her up."

If it involves precious metals and diamonds/pearls, you’re not going to go far wrong.

 

[Brad Pittiful]

im not married...but two things i would do if i was

1 - ask her what she wants

2 - remember things she had interest in throughout the year...write them down to be sure youll know by christmas


relating to #1 if you have a wife that takes offense to being asked what she wants...cause she wants a hubby to be a romantic type...know yourself if youre that type or not...so find out before marriage whether or not you can deal with that and dont marry her if you cant

 

[Harry Styron]

Bob, your method is admirable, and I’m happy it works well for you and others.

But my wife and I don’t want things. We are already happy.

 

[Peegoo]

These videos offer up some pretty good advice by way of possible consequences due to incorrect methods:




and...

 

[_MementoMori_]

My wife is infuriatingly non materialistic. It makes my wildly unhinged materialism seem far worse by comparison.

 

[ChicknPickn]

im not married...but two things i would do if i was

1 - ask her what she wants

2 - remember things she had interest in throughout the year...write them down to be sure youll know by christmas


relating to #1 if you have a wife that takes offense to being asked what she wants...cause she wants a hubby to be a romantic type...know yourself if youre that type or not...so find out before marriage whether or not you can deal with that and dont marry her if you cant

This is, of course, far too sensible to ever work.

 

[Toto'sDad]

Anything you give gets you three days of peace in the valley. It’s not three days per hundred or three days per thousand. I got three days for a BMW Z4. She was yelling again before the first payment was due.

You have to make a payment every three days? No wonder she was yelling!

 

[Toto'sDad]

I can count on ONE constant in the world. WHATEVER I buy my wife for Christmas will:

Not be acceptable.

A thunderclap can be heard as she exits the house to take the offending object back.

I will not be surprised in the least, and will take the opportunity to watch some football while she's gone.

 

[ndcaster]

Problem is, if I ever sweep her off her feet, I'll probably throw out my back.

 

[Peegoo]

Problem is, if I ever sweep her off her feet, I'll probably throw out my back.

My daddy taught me from a young age: never marry a woman that weighs more than you can bench press.

It served me well.

 

[scottser]

Never marry a woman that doesn't have a hobby. Most me goes horse riding; she got a new helmet for her birthday and wants a bridle for Christmas.
Which means I'll get a new snare.

 

[Brad Pittiful]

This is, of course, far too sensible to ever work.

youre absolutely right!

 

[Happy Enchilada]

DeBeers new slogan...

"Diamonds, that'll shut her up."

"Diamonds: Shiny little mute buttons that fit on her finger."
Most diamonds are recycled. Jewelry comes into pawnshops and they yank 'em out and sell 'em to all the shopping mall jewelry chains and they end up in one of those hokey swirly looking necklaces they trot out at the holidays like cabbage patch dolls for grown-ass women. My wife doesn't care about that crap and that's one of the reasons I love her.

 

[ndcaster]

My daddy taught me from a young age: never marry a woman that weighs more than you can bench press.

It served me well.

You and me both, but the years do .. add up.

 

[Deeve]

Honey, I got you a new mower, to go along w/ the edger you got for Mothers Day...