A delayed - but important - loss announcement

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Silverface, Nov 2, 2018.

  1. Silverface

    Silverface Poster Extraordinaire Ad Free Member

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    Some of you are aware of this, but I never made a "formal announcement" because, honestly, I wasn't sure at the time how I'd handle all the replies and PM's. I'm not a talk things out" type The best thing you can do for me is use the link at the bottom of the page.

    On 12/31 -- New Year's Eve - we lost our 23 year old son David to suicide. It's the absolute WORST thing that can happen to a parent; David was also my best friend and, because of my disabling chronic pain and neuropathic issues my primary support/help. AND jamming partner!

    And It's not like I was "hiding" the situation - it was just the opposite, as family and friends have been talking about suicide openly. David was 23 and despite all the amazing thins he was doing with his life suffered from clinical depression. He was virtually fine over Christmas was getting ready for a final college semester - where he was mostly going to be a teaching assistant in physics and some kind of advanced math, we talked about going out and me getting him a new iPhone on 12/31, We ordered a Tokai ES-335 clone on eBay in 12/29, he was messing around with friends and laughing on 12/30...and sometime during the night of 12/30-31 he was gone.

    We have no idea what "tipped him over" and neither does anyone else. But we all know we missed *something*, and because of that we have made suicide prevention a major part of our lives, mainly through the American Federation for Suicide Prevention.

    David was a Renaissance man - he did more cool stuff in 23 years than most 70 year olds , and I am NOT exaggerating a bit. He was a genius (seriously - a math and physic guy with an IQ estimated to bee over 170), incredible guitarist & drummer (primarily free jazz and "math rock" One song title is √(i)/0), recording engineer, writer, photographer, comedian, skydiver, surfer, pitcher, cleanup hitter, skateboarder, coffee expert/barista, gourmet cook - his older brother and I laugh because every single thing we started him on he ended up better at - and had a HUGE number of friends (over 400 showed up at his "celebration of life"). And he was gay, which in his life never had a negative effect or thought by anybody. It was just something he was, like a baseball player.

    Anyway, some of the forum member that I've known for decades are aware - I thought I should let every one know - because if you know anyone in a shaky situation or are in one yourself - talk, hug, call somebody, get help. If you're getting help and still having issues there ARE alternatives. The important thing - be alive.

    As far as donations go - ANY amount, no matter how small, will help (and is tax deductible). You can help me by donating for David - because if this post saves just ONE life we've done something amazing and saved not only a "victim" - but every family member and friend. Thanks!!

    You can read about David here:

    https://easyreadernews.com/world-didnt-time-david-sliff-obit/

    And my AFSP.org donation page is here:

    https://afsp.donordrive.com/participant/1693798

    FWIW here's the guitar we ordered. It arrived 12 days after he died. Took me 5 days just to be able to open the box. Man, he would have gone *nuts* over it.

    full top.jpg
     
  2. jhundt

    jhundt Doctor of Teleocity

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    sorry, it's sad and I can't say anything.
     
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  3. RoscoeElegante

    RoscoeElegante Friend of Leo's

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    Oh, God, Silverface----so, so sorry for your loss. As a father myself, I can only imagine what this is like. My best wishes for coping and strength. Words are pretty useless here, but....you have my total sympathy and respect. I'm sure that everyone who reads your postings and to whom you've replied on this Forum feels the same way. Peace, if possible........
     
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  4. Paul in Colorado

    Paul in Colorado Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I don't know what to say. My deepest condolences.
     
  5. noah330

    noah330 Friend of Leo's

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    Very sorry for your loss:( Prayers for all of you sent.
     
  6. Rasmuth

    Rasmuth Tele-Afflicted

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    I can't even imagine...it must be soul-crushing...l
     
  7. WireLine

    WireLine Tele-Afflicted

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    Sorry to hear...
     
  8. MilwMark

    MilwMark Poster Extraordinaire Ad Free Member

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    I am so sorry to read this, @Silverface. For your son, and for you, your family and his friends. Be well.
     
  9. Ron R

    Ron R Friend of Leo's

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    Sorry doesn't begin to cover it... :cry:
     
  10. william tele

    william tele Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    What an amazing son. I'm so very sorry for your loss and wish you heartfelt comfort. I hope all his wonderful qualities and experiences will help to overpower the sadness I know you are suffering.
     
  11. JayFreddy

    JayFreddy Poster Extraordinaire

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    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
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  12. Whatizitman

    Whatizitman Friend of Leo's

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    @Silverface, thank you so much for your willingness to be open about this. I work in the mental health field, and I normally refrain from online discussions on depression and suicide for professional reasons. Let me just say thank you for honoring your son's beautiful life by reaching out to help others in pain. Thank you so much for this. And thank you for sharing the mountain of tube amp knowledge and experience you have with TDPRI.
     
  13. 24 track

    24 track Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    our daughter was put on suicide watch in grade 7 our doctor ( who is a personal close friend ) told us to take this seriously very seriously my kid is 21 now and is a lot more stable emotionally and quite comfortable with her self , we never did get the full picture but it had to do with the transition to high school and being picked on in school relentlessly she was a high achiever also winning awards in music and ended up playing Oboe for the symphony orchestra , she was self taught , no teachers here.

    we were able to rise above it all we were lucky , I cant leave the house or go to bed with out telling my wife and Kid how much I love them my last words will never be in anger

    I am so sorry for your loss , and you may never know why that happened, but it wasnt on you to make the descisions your son made and not a day goes by with out you thinking about it, we lost our son due to different circumstances and it channels the way you are forever , My heart goes out to you and your wife.
     
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  14. davidge1

    davidge1 Friend of Leo's

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    I'm very sorry for your loss.
     
  15. pictacado

    pictacado Tele-Meister

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    My heart goes out to you and your family
     
  16. Nightclub Dwight

    Nightclub Dwight Tele-Holic

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    Thank you for sharing this. I know it must have been hard to do. I hope you, your family and friends find peace in your hearts. It sounds like David achieved a lot during his short time here with us, I wish we all could have seen what he'd do next. Thank you for keeping his memory alive in hope of helping other people.
     
  17. TheGoodTexan

    TheGoodTexan Moderator Staff Member Ad Free Member

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    It’s a sadness that has touched our family twice in the past ten years. It changes who you are going forward. My deepest sympathies.
     
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  18. charlie chitlin

    charlie chitlin Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    Mine has been to the edge...ODs...emergency rooms...mental hospitals...nights on the phone with the suicide hotline...county mental health...get rid of the gun...hide certain sharp things...all pills...but he's still here.
    Peace, amigo.
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2018
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  19. 64Strat

    64Strat Friend of Leo's Vendor Member

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    I'm one of the very few here that has previously been down this road. I know what you've been through. Very sorry it has happened to you! All the best!
     
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  20. Doghouse_Riley

    Doghouse_Riley Tele-Afflicted

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    I'm sorry for your loss. I'm familiar with what you're going through. My brother committed suicide February 25, 2017. He was my best friend and jamming partner. I still think of him every day. I have guilt because I was supposed to see him the night it happened but I postponed it until the next day. Nobody saw it coming. He had difficulties with his marriage and finances but it didn't seem insurmountable. I still have no idea why he did it.
     
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