I've always been afraid of the "last memory seeing them in a casket" thing but in my experience that fear doesn't pan out. Sure I remember seeing my grandpa lying in his casket if I purposefully think about it, but mostly I remember what he was like alive, how I knew him for 99.9% of our time here. That .1% is the scary part but it hasn't lingered for me. I got to be with my grandma for several days in hospice while she drew her last breaths. And we even lingered for an hour or more with her after it happened. It was such a peaceful place that it didn't feel weird at all. Bad example when you're grieving a family member, but when I had to say bye to my dog I had dreading that moment for years. I was closer to that dog than most people in my life. My sisters joked that when millie died I would just curl up in a ball and whither away and I was afraid they'd be right. I was so scared that someday I would be in the room when it happened and that would be the only way I could ever remember her. But I still just remember how she was when she was my beloved companion. I'd really encourage you to go and be with your family. Funerals are for the living.