3 members of a band starting a new band without one member...cool?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by 2HBStrat, Aug 1, 2020.

  1. ReverendRevolver

    ReverendRevolver Tele-Afflicted

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    Just tell the out party they're out.

    8 years ago, a 4 piece band I was in split up. To this day, the rythm guitarist thinks we fired him and moved on, the bass player thinks we didn't want to go on without the rythm guitarist. The truth? We fired the rythm player due to drama, got tired of the bass players drama and bailing on practice, and got busy with life stuff and never found replacements. Now hardly seems like a good year to start looking though.........


    Just tell them your moving in a direction they don't seem like a good fit for, because that direction involves showing up to practice.
     
  2. Peegoo

    Peegoo Friend of Leo's

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    A relay team is only as fast as the slowest runner.

    A chain is as strong as the weakest link.

    And a band is only as good as the least-committed member.

    Call him up and tell him his situation does not work with the direction the three of you want to go. He's slowing you down.
     
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  3. Peegoo

    Peegoo Friend of Leo's

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    I thought that was going to read, "Can't help but think of the Ben Folds Four."
     
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  4. vhilts1

    vhilts1 Tele-Meister

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    i would say this tho......if he asks when are we practicing or is trying schedule a practice and u guys dont want to ....be straight fwd and tell him its not what you wanna do.....
     
  5. tubegeek

    tubegeek Friend of Leo's

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    To me it would matter why he cancels. Taking his mom to chemo? Picking up much-needed extra shifts? I'd try to help him juggle to work it out. "Simpsons" reruns? Online poker addiction? Trio time.
     
  6. 24 track

    24 track Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    if some one is not dedicated to the committment you have no choice but to confront the situation, and lay ultimatums.
     
  7. tfarny

    tfarny Friend of Leo's

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    I feel like this is the kind of stuff that makes the difference between kids and grownups. A grownup doesn't need advice in this situation - you don't want to play with the person any more, you tell them so. Gently and with compassion, but you tell them.
    It's a little bit awkward and uncomfortable for you in the moment, but it's just obviously the right thing to do for everybody (including you).
     
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  8. PastorJay

    PastorJay Tele-Afflicted

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    I think much of this has to do with both the goals, life situations, and the dynamics of the band.

    20 some years ago I was in a decent bar band that played local clubs about 4 to 6 nights a month.

    I thought we had the talent to do much better. I approached the band leader, who agreed.

    I pitched him 20 or 30 original songs, and suggested we work some of these up, and record a CD, which was what a band needed at the time to be taken seriously.

    He and I each picked 5 we would sing. Over the next few weeks, we learned the 5 that we said I'd sing, and didn't finish working up one song that he said he'd sing.

    I could go on with the details of how the breakup ensued. Let's just say that I played in BB Kings and House of Blues, while the last time I saw him he was playing solo acoustic guitar, out of tune, at a local happy hour.

    We had different goals and different life situations.

    If those aren't compatible, there's nothing you can do.

    Figure that out.

    Good luck.
     
  9. Lucius Paisley

    Lucius Paisley Tele-Meister

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    After Soundgarden and Nirvana, I'm sure Jason's used to it. I say do it.
     
  10. G.Rotten

    G.Rotten Tele-Afflicted

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    My band more or less did this earlier this year. It didn't feel right but neither did everyone else planning for practice then repeatedly being disappointed at the last minute.

    Basically our singer "quit" out of frustration via our band Facebook messenger page & took it down. Then shortly after started a new page, invited all but one to it. He explained that because no one wanted to be the bad guy we were taking too long to get to the next level. He was right. Each of us had already put out the feelers but we hadn't had an open discussion yet. No one wanted to hurt anyone's feelings but we were struggling to get to where we wanted to be.

    The way it happened wasn't a band decision but it was going to go that way anyway sooner or later.

    So anyway it sure is nice now to have everyone come when they said they would & know what they need to know when they come.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2020
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  11. joe_cpwe

    joe_cpwe Tele-Holic

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    Did that once, with a drummer.
    Sat down and told him, that band was over but three of us were doing something different, and without him
    We did.
    He hated us.
    Life went on.
     
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  12. keithb7

    keithb7 Friend of Leo's

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    My band had a coaster. He was a real decent guy. Just a real lousy musician. His pride was so big he thought he was a perfect musician. The band members all put up with it for some time. Finally we all agreed we’d had enough. I volunteered to meet the guy. Break the news and remain professional. He tried to get me to have an argument with him. I refused. He wanted specific examples of our issues with his playing. I refused. I told him he was a real decent person, however the band was moving without him. I told him to try and think back to the friction we had with him. All the extra time we put in to try help him improve. The songs the that he decided he was not willing to learn. The coasting.

    He seemed to take it ok. Then he slept on it and the very next day became quite petty. He lashed out and called the members inappropriate nasty names. He did not take it well. His ego got the best of him. I personally became embarrassed for him. His reaction was very unbecoming of himself.

    The band moved on. We’ve all done well. We’re having great fun again. It was the right decision. We are reminded of it everyday we play together.

    Was it fun firing a member? No it was not. However it had to be done. I did it as professionally as I could. Man to man. Face to face. Its not something I want to do again. However I will if it needs to be done. I’ve quit bands before under similar situations. I did not want to play with the coaster any more. Experience told me, no I’m not quitting any more. This time the problem member needs to go. I don’t.

    Bands can be so very rewarding. So much fun. They can also be hard on a person. Nobody needs the emotional drama that comes with firing a long time friend from the band.
     
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  13. cyclopean

    cyclopean Friend of Leo's

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    new order is one of my all time favorite bands.
     
  14. 2HBStrat

    2HBStrat Tele-Holic

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    No...
     
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  15. stormsedge

    stormsedge Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

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    Call him/her.
     
  16. 2HBStrat

    2HBStrat Tele-Holic

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    It's already been done...
     
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  17. beagle

    beagle Friend of Leo's

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    He's already practicing with his new band and has gigs lined up. So long suckers.
     
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  18. Flat6Driver

    Flat6Driver Friend of Leo's

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    The best line comes before that. :)
     
  19. 985plowboy

    985plowboy Friend of Leo's

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    Be upfront, direct, and kind.
    Do not leave this fella hanging.
    It’ll hurt at first.
    Hopefully, it’ll get better.
     
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  20. Thebluesman

    Thebluesman Tele-Meister

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    Ring up the guy and tell him...''We have gigs confirmed....and your CANCELLED!''
     
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