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What's your thoughts on this: Born to be happy or unhappy.

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Chick-N-Picker, Jul 11, 2018.

  1. awasson

    awasson Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

    Nov 18, 2010
    I’ve never met two people who were the same so I can’t see how anyone can come up with a blanket explanation for why some people are happy and others are sad. Everyone has a unique personality and unique experiences. People are truly random.

    I feel for those who aren’t happy or can’t find happiness. I’ve been mighty low but even at my worst, I always thought I’d feel better in the morning. Not everyone feels that way.
    Paul Jenkin and raysachs like this.
  2. Antmax

    Antmax Tele-Meister

    Jun 14, 2018
    Brit in Sacramento
    Lots of binge whingers out there that if they don't have enough problems already, they will look for someone else's to complain about. Thankfully I only have a couple I can't remove from my facebook. The negativity gets old fast.

    It's not really that simple though. People aren't the same and sometimes it can be hard to tell if someones happy. Extroverts are happiest with a lot of people around kicking up a fuss with them getting a lot of attention. Introverts can only take so much before they get drained and can be happiest on their own engaged in something they enjoy. That alone time helps them relax and recharge, while the noise and bustle recharges the previous person.

    Fortunately most people I know are fairly content with their lot in life. Maybe it's the middle age thing, people have settled and are less concerned about making an impression and just do their own thing with people they actually like and are comfortable with. Quite different their anxious and often troubled teens and twenties.
  3. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity

    Mar 2, 2010
    I'm predisposed to depression at least seasonally, but I combat it with a sun lamp in the dark months, being nice to cranky people because when a cranky person smiles it boosts my mood, eating as if my mental health depended on it, looking up to the sky rather than down at the ground, collecting every glimpse of beauty or hope I catch during a day as if there was drought coming, and hanging on to an assumption that when things are really bad, it just has to mean that better things are up next.

    Stop doing those things and I'm pretty much dead in the water.
    I mean seriously, look at the state of the world today!
    Not a very positive happy place, eh?

    One thing I've found is that seeking instant gratification sucks the joy out of the soul, like dope to a junkie.
    Obsessed, Basplr and Bristlehound like this.
  4. RoCkstAr256

    RoCkstAr256 Tele-Holic

    Jan 3, 2017
    If you had been born at Ukraine or other really poor eastern European countries , you would like to move to Uk, Germany, Usa, France. They earn less than 100 Usd a month mostly. You mighy get really unlucky
  5. 24 track

    24 track Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

    Nov 6, 2014
    kamloops bc
    its all amatter of prospective
    Obsessed likes this.
  6. moosie

    moosie Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

    Jul 18, 2010
    You're gonna regret this thread tomorrow... :lol::lol::lol:

    I think some people have a more difficult time navigating life than others.

    Life was easy for me until I turned 50. I could always achieve anything I set my mind to, and I felt that I controlled my own happiness. I was a content, happy guy. Ambitious, too, but not in a stressful way.

    Then I got this CIDP and encephalopathy. There's some mild brain damage associated with the encephalopathy, and while I'm still me, I'm also different than I was. Most of the time, though, I'm still a happy guy, and I can navigate the world easily - if much more slowly than before. But sometimes, I don't know what changes, let's just say I'm having 'mental symptoms'... Thing is, no matter how self-aware I am, and try to be, it never seems like I'm the one that's different. When I'm this way, the only difference is that the world is a much more difficult place. To understand. To enjoy. To get anything done. When I come back from these phases or flare-ups, I can clearly see how I was. But I can *never* see it while it's happening.

    I can't imagine what it must be like for someone with even very, very mild mental illness, who's had it since birth, or puberty, and for whom it never lets up. I can guess the word 'happy' has little real meaning. It's more about maintaining control and getting through it.

    So, yeah, in a sense, it's a "born" thing, in that it's at least partly a mental state brought on by a person's genetics. But it needn't be so black and white. And a person might feel quite happy, but just have to work a little harder to find that place, than some of us.
    telemnemonics and Bristlehound like this.
  7. voskarp

    voskarp Tele-Meister

    Feb 12, 2017
    Uppsala, Sweden
    "Born under a bad sign" One of my most favourite songs.

    I think it's more like to be born into happiness/unhappiness.

    People do kind of have a choice how to face life, but it's hard choosing to be happy if your heart is full of pain... So I think you can't just choose anything, just from the platter you are given.

    I've seen people who had very difficult childhoods that seems to be quite happy (even though they probably have their dark moments, maybe when nobody sees), and others that probably had a good life (you never know though) but whines all the time, never being satisfied with what they got.
    raysachs likes this.
  8. Zepfan

    Zepfan Poster Extraordinaire

    Nov 30, 2013
    Horn Lake, MS
    Are we sure our answers aren't predetermined?
  9. Backbeat8

    Backbeat8 Tele-Holic

    Jun 21, 2018
    I think most people, are unhappy. Because it's easier. It's easy to complain, to be lazy, and to always think what's the point, and "why me".

    The hard thing, is to:
    • maintain a positive outlook, even in harder times
    • say something nice to someone, for just no reason at all
    • to put that extra bit of effort into what you do, and aim for greatness, and to boost other people around you, instead of complain and drag people down, like most people do
    Obsessed likes this.
  10. raysachs

    raysachs Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

    May 21, 2017
    Near Philly
    There’s Some nurture and some choice about how happy to be, but there’s a LOT of brain chemistry involved too. Anyone who tells you that THEY ALONE DETERMINE (and control) their level of happiness and actually believes it is probably blessed by really benign brain chemistry. My father was very blessed in that department and I seem to have lucked into getting most of his genes in that area. My mother did and my brother does suffer from anxiety and depression all their lives. They’ve been diagnosed and treated and both coped but it was debilitating and exhausting and difficult as hell for both of them. My sister seems to be borderline bipolar - I don’t think she’s ever been professionally diagnosed but everyone who knows her (including her) would provide that amateur diagnosis. That she’s never been formally diagnosed is the reason to believe it’s borderline - she’s made it into her 70s, kicking and screaming the whole time, without being formally diagnosed or treated. At least as far as I know.

    Why I got lucky in that department is just that - I got lucky. I got less lucky than my brother or sister in terms of some inherited physical health issues (they’re both over a decade older than me but I’d say I’m even money to croak no later than they do), so it’s not like I got all the good and they got all the bad, but in terms of happiness and mental health, I seem to have come through relatively undamaged and they didn’t. And knowing them and the same parents who raised all of us, I don’t take any credit for that - I just consider myself profoundly fortunate/lucky in that regard. But along with his temperament, I also got my father’s lungs. Not so lucky! He hacked and wheezed his way to 88, but my lung are worse than his ever were at any similar age so far.

    It’s a crapshoot - we get dealt the hand we get dealt and we each play it the best we can, but we DON’T all get dealt the same cards (or the dice don’t land the same way, or whatever, to try to keep the metaphor consistent).

  11. Sollipsist

    Sollipsist Tele-Afflicted

    Aug 25, 2016
    We live in a society based on happiness. More specifically, a society sick from a pathological need for happiness.

    We are conditioned - from within and without - to seek happiness. We seek it like a child seeks sugar. More, and more often, is best.

    Happiness is a trick played by our brains, a dumb strategy happened upon by trial and error evolution, directing our movements and beliefs in the same way that plants (and moths) go toward light.

    Happiness is the treat that the master holds, or withholds, depending on learning how to behave correctly and perform amusing tricks, ultimately without even having to think about it. Salivate, you dog.

    We rationalize good taste, pleasure and discipline like the rounds in a game show: do I go for immediate happiness or delay with the goal of greater happiness?

    Love is happiness. Family is happiness. Success is happiness. Commerce is the buying and selling of happiness. Progress is increasing the accessibility and efficiency of happiness. You kids have it too easy; in my day, we had to work for a little happiness. But it tasted so much better then.

    Government is happiness - don't believe me? It's right there after life and liberty. You are entitled to your shot at happiness according to the very laws of the land and the Creator. It's a right. You deserve it and nobody should be allowed to take it. Happiness is your identity.

    Money's not the root of all evil. Plenty of evil comes without hope of financial gain. Happiness is the root of all evil. Every terrible act you can imagine arises from either a desperate attempt at happiness or the rage and despair of happiness thwarted.

    Happiness is easy. A constant supply of good heroin will do it, no matter how many reasons to be unhappy you might have. There's utopia: everybody on Earth gets a gram a day, i.e., total happiness for the rest of their lives. Who cares how long that is? Everybody dies happy, we all win, nobody loses, game over.

    Learning to go without happiness is possibly the best thing you can do for yourself. It will pay you back in countless ways; life will make absolutely sure of that.

    If you can get to the point where happiness is utterly unnecessary and unexpected, the world is your oyster. Everything becomes simpler and easier. True joy is possible only when you may never find it, and don't want it again afterwards. Remembering happiness only hurts because you want it back.

    Happiness is a wife, and a lot of men make far better bachelors than they do husbands.

    Just do what needs to be done, do what is right, figure out what that means to you, and get back all that time you wasted on trying to be more happy. If happiness comes your way, take it or leave it. It doesn't matter. It's the tiniest part of existence and yet we pay it the most attention.

    Who's in charge here, you or happiness? Damn right. Now go get em, tiger.
    telemnemonics and Obsessed like this.
  12. Paul Jenkin

    Paul Jenkin Friend of Leo's

    Aug 17, 2017
    Essex, UK
    I don't believe in destiny or fate. It is, as far as I'm concerned, simply a matter of fact that I ended up being who I am and where I am. I also believe that I have a choice in certain things and, therefore, I can influence the direction I follow to some extent. However, there are things that are definitely out of my control.

    If there is anything such as luck, then I feel lucky that I was born into a family that cared for me and in a country where relatively few people starve or are without shelter. It could have been a lot worse.

    Am I happy? Sometimes yes but not always. Was I born to be happy? I have no idea.
    Obsessed likes this.
  13. MrCairo46

    MrCairo46 Friend of Leo's

    Happiness is a personal decision. You decide to be happy or not. People, things, the weather and events can make you angry, but only you can make yourself happy.
  14. Paul Jenkin

    Paul Jenkin Friend of Leo's

    Aug 17, 2017
    Essex, UK
    I have often wondered what the point would be of predetermination by some "higher being" as, if they were that bloody clever and manipulative, they'd be bored rigid at the prospect of watching their pre-determined lab-rats playing out their futures.

    Also, how would it be possible to predetermine everything, forever?

    I've seen no evidence of predetermination or any form of "higher power" and, therefore, I have no belief in faith or faith in belief.
    Uncle Daddy and Obsessed like this.
  15. MrCairo46

    MrCairo46 Friend of Leo's

    Happiness is a personal decision one makes. Only you can make YOU happy. Things, people the weather and events can make you angry, but the happy person decides to be happy in spite of these.
  16. It's my opinion that this is a 'learned' behaviour. Environment plays a part in it as well. Heredity, - I don't think so.
  17. MrCairo46

    MrCairo46 Friend of Leo's

    I heard an argument about free will or predestination where one put fourth that he believed was simply a result of his genes, environment and experiences. The other gentleman said so you have no free will since your genes, environment and experiences dictate how you will respond. At this the first man say down to think a bit more.
  18. uriah1

    uriah1 Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Feb 12, 2011
    From the destitute to the rich.
    Happiness is not a behavioral disorder, rather it is order out of chaos.
    We can choose free will. (where did I hear that) lol
    Paul Jenkin likes this.
  19. jackinjax

    jackinjax Friend of Leo's

    Sep 11, 2016
    I have two brothers and a sister. We shared the same or at least very similar environment growing up, but, we each have very different personalities.

    Everyone is wired differently, and happiness is a state of mind that covers a pretty broad spectrum; giddy, pleased, content, satisfied, etcetera.

    Barring mental disorders, everyone experiences happiness and unhappiness. Some of us are just wired to look for crap that make us unhappy. :oops:
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