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What's your favourite put down?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by fuzzbender, Apr 30, 2011.

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  1. fuzzbender

    fuzzbender Former Member

    Feb 15, 2011
    All in good spirit of course, eg. from a record review:

    'I've watched paint dry but this is the first time I've heard it'

    Any funny put downs? Down as in back to earth, for any occasion.
  2. TheGoodTexan

    TheGoodTexan Doctor of Teleocity

    Apr 28, 2003
    Nashville, TN
    I usually go for the least common denominator, so there's not much room left for the other person to get lower than me:

    "Oh yeah? Well, you have a stupid face."
  3. imsilly

    imsilly Friend of Leo's

    Feb 15, 2009
    Sometimes a single look is worth more then a thousand words.

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  5. NashvilleDeluxe

    NashvilleDeluxe Tele-Meister

    May 10, 2007
    Laurentians, Quebec
    I have a friend who ends almost all "difficult" or nonsensical discussions with, "well, you can't put God in a box." It is a confounding, all-purpose statement.

    I don't have a one-size-fits-all put-down, but I find a good 5 second locking of eyes with no facial expression gets the job done.
  6. zooropamofo

    zooropamofo Tele-Afflicted

    Jun 26, 2006
    Long Valley-Birches
    I prefer "I'd challenge you to a battle of wit, but I can see you're unarmed"
  7. flathd

    flathd Friend of Leo's

    Jan 29, 2008
    Twin Cities,MN
    I know you are, but what am I ?

    Always a good comeback especially when someone says your immature or unreliable.
  8. outlawyer

    outlawyer Tele-Holic

    Dec 8, 2010
    Not a put-down, but always fun to me; when someone is describing a sound ("then the cat went 'meoowrraahhh, ' " or "the car started making this 'thwomp thwomp thwomp' noise"), I ask with a straight face "how did it go, again?" It's hilarious when they repeat the sound effect. Most people catch on, but I'll never forget my second wife describing the sound three times, complete with arm gesticulations, until she realized she'd been had, and froze with arms in midair. Friggin hilarious.
  9. kelnet

    kelnet Doctor of Teleocity

    Apr 17, 2008
    Port Moody, BC
    How do you not fall down more?

    Talk to the back of my head as I walk away.

    You are not worth the air you displace.

    Oh I'm sorry. Are you still here?

    And one for forums: Dude.:rolleyes:
  10. sax4blues

    sax4blues Friend of Leo's

    Apr 14, 2006
    San Jose, CA
    Oh wow! I/we used to have ________ (shoes, guitar, house, car,....) like that.

    Then my dad got a job.
  11. SteveO

    SteveO Tele-Holic

    Jul 22, 2009
    New Jersey
    You're ugly and your Mommy dresses you funny.
  12. Brad Pittiful

    Brad Pittiful Doctor of Teleocity

    Dec 22, 2008
    Philly Burbs
    well the jerk store called and they are all out of you!
  13. Mark Moore

    Mark Moore Tele-Afflicted

    Jan 11, 2009
    "It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob." - The Brain

  14. cband7

    cband7 Friend of Leo's

    Oct 27, 2007
    Thule, Greenland
    I hope you're reincarnated as the worlds first reusable suppository.

  15. flathd

    flathd Friend of Leo's

    Jan 29, 2008
    Twin Cities,MN
    Your a legend in your own mind.

    Clint taught me that one..

    I really don't enjoy insulting people, unless they are asking for it. I would rather say something that would make them smile than get them madder.

    I find that its usually the ones who like to dish out the putdowns that don't take them very well.
  16. I appreciate what you are trying to do with this thread. However, like most things you've attempted in the past and probably the most significant things you will try to do in the future, they just don't really work out, do they?

    if that won't work (because the person is too much of a mouth breather)

    just go simple:

    "your mamma likes it."

    will usually work.

    I read in Outliers that if you call someone from a background (won't mention so that members won't get mad) that they mention in the book an "A--hole" they will be furious and angry and humiliated. Finding out that it only takes one word has made my efforts much simpler!:twisted:
  17. rcole_sooner

    rcole_sooner Poster Extraordinaire

    Feb 12, 2010
    Norman, OK
    Lately, it seems like it has been, "Son, the apple does not fall far from the tree.".

    :confused: :lol:
  18. fuzzbender

    fuzzbender Former Member

    Feb 15, 2011
    Right, as ever Getbent. Wish i could just pull you from behind a curtain in emergencies
  19. flathd

    flathd Friend of Leo's

    Jan 29, 2008
    Twin Cities,MN
    I have finally figured out when you are about to tell a lie....

    your mouth begins to open.
  20. fuzzbender you are too kind. When I was young, I saw the put down almost as sport and my friends and I used to 'rip' on each other...

    I find in the last 20 years, I have no desire to 'rip' anymore, but this thread reminded me of how fun it used to be!

    The other day at work, I was in a meeting and two guys were in a heated conversation about a product and proposed product and the barbs were pretty awesome... there were about 20 of us in the room and when it reached a certain point, out of the blue I said, "Fellas, a ham sandwich is not a ham."

    And the whole room cracked up (I think in part because the ham sandwich thing is kind of a code phrase for one of the products.) and it actually cracked me up too...

    I don't know if it is a saying or not, I can't remember hearing it, but I like it...

    One thing I heard a lot from some folks in Austin is that they say "ish" way too much.

    as in, "Is the product finished?" "well, ish." or "Is it a complete implementation of MDM?" "the update is complete-ish"

    I finally said that we probably weren't fully communicating because 'ish' means one thing in rap music and I wasn't sure if they were being modern and meaning it that way or if they were softening the blow for features that weren't completely done yet.
  21. fuzzbender

    fuzzbender Former Member

    Feb 15, 2011
    Yes, it was fun, and we grow up. Still you will be behind that curtain woncha?
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