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Asher Guitars WD Music Products Amplified Parts Mod Kits DIY Nordstarnd Pickups Warmoth.com

What are your favourite 'comeback' lines?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by RoyBGood, Nov 13, 2017.

  1. Digital Larry

    Digital Larry TDPRI Member

    90
    May 30, 2017
    Silicon Valley, CA

  2. HoodieMcFoodie

    HoodieMcFoodie Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Age:
    55
    Oct 22, 2007
    Tamworth, 'straya.
    When someone (out of exasperation) says "Well f--- me", I reply "No thanks, but thanks for first refusal."

    When my co-worker wants a hand with something he'll call out, "Are you free?" I reply "I might be free but I'm not cheap."
     

  3. raysachs

    raysachs Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

    Age:
    58
    626
    May 21, 2017
    Near Philly
    I think this one’s pretty well known, but since I haven’t seen it yet...

    I’d have never had the gonads but I actually heard a friend of mine use this and I was laughing so hard I about passed out from not being able to breathe.

    When being really rudely turned down after asking a woman to dance, “So I guess a blow job is out of the question then”?

    It’s be really evil to use it for a simple no thanks given all the crap women have put up with from us, but when you get one of those really nasty looks like she wouldn’t dance with you if her kid’s life depended on it, I guess it’s acceptable... It was crazy funny in context - her friends were cracking up too.

    -Ray
     

  4. skippolony

    skippolony Tele-Meister

    288
    Mar 30, 2015
    Liverpool. UK.
    :D:D I am from Liverpool and have not heard that one.

    A friend once said to me, did I tell you I have a new girlfriend ? Quick as a flash I said Great what's her guide dogs name.
     
    Felino likes this.

  5. ZackyDog

    ZackyDog Tele-Afflicted

    Age:
    53
    Aug 24, 2014
    PNW

  6. Paul Jenkin

    Paul Jenkin Tele-Meister Silver Supporter

    321
    Aug 17, 2017
    Essex, UK
    "Sorry, but you're clearly confusing me with someone who gives a s**t...!"
     
    Andy B likes this.

  7. bullfrogblues

    bullfrogblues Friend of Leo's

    Jun 5, 2011
    Southeast Florida
    "I heard your brother/sister is an only child"
     

  8. noah330

    noah330 Tele-Afflicted

    Feb 10, 2009
    Maryland
    Have you seen my house?

    I stole that one from Paul Stanley
     

  9. Electric Mud

    Electric Mud Tele-Holic

    Age:
    39
    764
    Jan 26, 2017
    SW PA
    Hey, what's up?
    A ducks a** when it's eating.

    Does your mom regret drinking while she was pregnant with you?

    Or just the plain old classic...Go F**k Yourself
     

  10. Generic Schmoe

    Generic Schmoe Tele-Meister

    196
    Oct 23, 2015
    Huntsville, TX
    Maybe. Maybe not.
     
    6stringcowboy likes this.

  11. ozcal

    ozcal Tele-Meister

    445
    Feb 5, 2015
    ca
    go and piss up a rope
     

  12. callasabra

    callasabra Tele-Afflicted

    Apr 11, 2016
    USA
    With some regularity I have people exclaim "oh God" or "Jesus" in my presence. to which I respond, "No I am not, but I get that alot."
     

  13. 6stringcowboy

    6stringcowboy Tele-Afflicted

    LOL!
     
    Generic Schmoe likes this.

  14. memorex

    memorex Tele-Afflicted

    Age:
    67
    Jan 14, 2015
    Chicago
    Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra: You don't scare me, I got chunks of guys like you in my stool.
     
    dbickford and ellisvertellis like this.

  15. orangeblossom

    orangeblossom Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

    Talk to my ar$e I got a headache. A friend says this sometimes.
     

  16. Telesphere

    Telesphere Tele-Meister

    263
    Oct 11, 2005
    The Telesphere
    Oh, don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be out all by itself.
     
    teletimetx likes this.

  17. Harry Styron

    Harry Styron Tele-Holic

    761
    Aug 2, 2011
    Branson, Mo
    If somebody is unloading on me, I gesture to indicate that something appears to be hanging out of the jerk's nose. Takes the fire right out of them. If a tissue is handy, I offer it and watch the process. Then I say, "you got most of it!"
     
    william tele likes this.

  18. CV Jee Beez

    CV Jee Beez Tele-Meister

    Age:
    43
    302
    Nov 24, 2016
    Duarte, CA
    I was thinking of Walter correcting the dude for using the phrase chinamen. "That's just,like,...your opinion man."
     

  19. Lost_N_Austin

    Lost_N_Austin Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

    Age:
    75
    Feb 18, 2004
    Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
    One time I told my first ex-wife that "Opinions are like A-wholes, everyone has one" and she responded "Well I got rid of mine". - I thought that was a pretty good comeback.

    Years later at a Christmas party and after a few glasses of wine, she tried to apologize for the circumstances leading to our divorce. But I stopped her and said "don't do that, look how well everything turned out for both of us".

    I meant it but in retrospect, I think it was one of those good come-backs.

    Lost_N_Austin
     

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