Asher Guitars WD Music Products Amplified Parts Mod Kits DIY Nordstarnd Pickups Warmoth.com
Asher Guitars WD Music Products Amplified Parts Mod Kits DIY Nordstarnd Pickups Warmoth.com
Asher Guitars WD Music Products Amplified Parts Mod Kits DIY Nordstarnd Pickups Warmoth.com

What are your favourite 'comeback' lines?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by RoyBGood, Nov 13, 2017.

  1. RoyBGood

    RoyBGood Poster Extraordinaire

    One of mine is this, in response to someone saying 'do you know it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile?'

    'It's worth the extra effort.'
     
    DonM, matrix, Slip Kid and 8 others like this.

  2. Jakedog

    Jakedog Doctor of Teleocity

    Mar 26, 2003
    The North Coast
    The Hank Hill is more my style-

    "It takes even fewer to kick your ass, Dale!".
     
    JohnnyGringo, Flakey, Stubee and 6 others like this.

  3. 1293

    1293 Poster Extraordinaire

    May 18, 2006
    I know you are, but what am I?
     

  4. AngelDeville

    AngelDeville Tele-Afflicted

    Age:
    106
    Dec 27, 2007
    Albuquerque

  5. Frodebro

    Frodebro Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Age:
    47
    Aug 17, 2012
    Seattle
    **** ********, you ****-********.
     
    Slip Kid, krowbot, src9000 and 3 others like this.

  6. OlRedNeckHippy

    OlRedNeckHippy Friend of Leo's

    Age:
    61
    Jan 12, 2012
    South Jersey
    One time, a flabergasted older woman said to Fonzie, "Well! I Never!"
    Fonz replied, "Yea, well maybe you should have!"
     
    DonM, nojazzhere, dlew919 and 3 others like this.

  7. 1293

    1293 Poster Extraordinaire

    May 18, 2006
    That's one of my all-time favorites.
     
    Slip Kid, src9000 and Frodebro like this.

  8. LutherBurger

    LutherBurger Friend of Leo's

    Oct 29, 2013
    NYC
    People know better than to say crap like that to me.
     
    william tele and RoyBGood like this.

  9. BuckSatan

    BuckSatan Tele-Meister

    137
    Feb 23, 2011
    USA
    “Go back to Hell!”
     
    william tele likes this.

  10. brookdalebill

    brookdalebill Telefied Ad Free Member

    Age:
    60
    Nov 15, 2009
    Austin, Tx
    When I was about 12, I walked to the 7-11 with two friends, these guys were older, 14 or so.
    We get to the store and three older guys (15-16) start hassling us.
    Their biggest one says to Roger (our oldest, shortest, and meanest) “What are you lookin’ at?”
    Roger, all 5 ft of him, looks right at the older, bigger guy, and says, “Not much”.
    Cool memory!
     
    richiek65, Mr Scallywag and 8barlouie like this.

  11. TheGoodTexan

    TheGoodTexan Doctor of Teleocity

    Apr 28, 2003
    Nashville, TN
    “Where’d you get that shirt? The toilet store?”
     
    BrandonIke and 3-Chord-Genius like this.

  12. archiemax

    archiemax TDPRI Member

    Age:
    66
    78
    Oct 11, 2016
    Phoenix AZ
    Did you get that shirt at Goodwill? 'cause I think it used to be mine.
     
    elihu likes this.

  13. LGOberean

    LGOberean Poster Extraordinaire

    Age:
    64
    May 31, 2008
    Corpus Christi, Texas
    One of my favorite comeback lines is gig related...

    Several years ago, I was doing a coffee shop gig. There was a guy sitting near the front with a couple of his friends, having coffee and conversation. They also were getting into the music. So after 20 minutes or so, he made a request. Unfortunately, he didn't think through the wording of said request. So after the last notes of the song I'd just played faded away, he blurted out, "Do you know I can't help falling in love with you?" :eek::oops:

    Of course, he was requesting "Can't Help Falling In Love" recorded by Elvis, but it sounded for the world like he was asking if I was aware of his feelings for me. :rolleyes: I must have looked like a deer in headlights. My mind was frantically searching for a comeback that could be expressed in that family oriented environment. Mere moments passed, but they felt like an eternity.

    He noticed my hesitation, and asked "Oh, you don't know it?"

    I replied, "Oh, I know it...I was just trying to figure out a way to answer you without being a smart @$$."

    He had this blank look on his face for about half a second, then his expression changed as he finally realized what his request sounded like.
     
    ac15 and OlRedNeckHippy like this.

  14. elihu

    elihu Poster Extraordinaire

    Dec 24, 2009
    Texas
    So, you're walking into a restaurant with your wife/significant other and the snooty waiter says "Table for how many?"

    A: One hundred and twelve...we like to change seats every few minutes.

    B: One...my wife will sit on my shoulders.

    C: I don't know. I can't count that high, either.

    (Thank you, MAD magazine)
     
    BrandonIke, stinkey, Stubee and 3 others like this.

  15. 3-Chord-Genius

    3-Chord-Genius Friend of Leo's

    Apr 3, 2015
    Winchester, VA
    "I'm not sure, but I bet it doesn't taste good."

    If you're wondering why that doesn't make any sense, I'm loaded on cold medicine. If it does make sense, there might be something wrong with you.
     
    Slip Kid and Joe Sailor like this.

  16. Mr. Lumbergh

    Mr. Lumbergh Poster Extraordinaire

    Jun 13, 2013
    Initech, Inc.
    When someone says "you suck!" I fire right back with "Only on weekends, and for money." It generally shuts 'em up pretty quickly.
     

  17. Obsessed

    Obsessed Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

    Nov 21, 2012
    Montana
    I tend to keep it simple:

    "***hole".
     

  18. Telesphere

    Telesphere Tele-Meister

    259
    Oct 11, 2005
    The Telesphere
    You're entitled to your wrong opinion!
     

  19. studio1087

    studio1087 Telefied Ad Free Member

    May 10, 2003
    Near Milwaukee
    (Pointing to a friend's shirt)...."Does that store sell any men's cloths?"
     
    Felino and Obsessed like this.

  20. dkmw

    dkmw Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

    Age:
    62
    Mar 30, 2016
    Florida USA
    I've used "I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man" a few times.
     

IMPORTANT: Treat everyone here with respect, no matter how difficult!
No sex, drug, political, religion or hate discussion permitted here.