Steven Seagal: Please quit making movies, there isn't enough room on the screen for you.

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Toto'sDad, Jun 12, 2019.

  1. LutherBurger

    LutherBurger Friend of Leo's

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    And also with Gene LeBell, I've heard. ;)
     
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  2. Brian J.

    Brian J. Tele-Afflicted

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    I love how he tries to hide his fatness behind long coats and vests, like putting a sheet over a truck makes it invisible
     
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  3. Manual Slim

    Manual Slim Tele-Afflicted

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    Good grief, I kind of forgot about him. Back in high school I went on a double date. My friend chose Hard to Kill. Oof. I’m pretty sure he was the only one of us who wanted to see it, but he was the guy with the car.

    That’s my Steven Seagal story. It probably needs to be fleshed out a bit.
     
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  4. studio1087

    studio1087 Telefied Silver Supporter

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    I appreciate any opportunity to post this......

    [​IMG]
     
  5. drf64

    drf64 Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    Was there a second date?
     
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  6. Manual Slim

    Manual Slim Tele-Afflicted

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    Yeah, before that one even. My girlfriend wasn’t a dummy. Sometimes social groups just go along with the powerful one.
     
  7. Jimmy Dean

    Jimmy Dean Tele-Afflicted

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    Putin loves him.
     
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  8. WetBandit

    WetBandit Friend of Leo's

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    He was until he came under legal scrutiny involving potential sex trafficking allegations...

    Not to mention while on the show, he takes an armored swat vehicle and crashes through the wall of a suspects house killing the suspects sons puppy...

    Then after telling the camera in his best (worst) eastern? Buddhist? Indian? accent that his biggest PET peeve is "croolty to anumuls".... they then youthanize a couple hundred chickens on the suspects ranch that very day!

    A turd indeed!

    Not to mention the corruption scandal in that department at the time.

    Shortly after this incident the network dropped the show and tried to scrub it away from existence...
     
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  9. micpoc

    micpoc Friend of Leo's

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    I have seen one Seagal movie: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. It was garbage, and he was even worse. I have never watched another.
     
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  10. WetBandit

    WetBandit Friend of Leo's

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    Then you caught the cancer early and beat it... you are now in remission.
     
  11. micpoc

    micpoc Friend of Leo's

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    He didn't know who he was up against.
     
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  12. Hatfield92

    Hatfield92 Tele-Meister

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    Just not a fan of those kinds of movies, whether the star is Seagal or Van Damme.

    Or Chuck Norris. Yeah, I said it.
     
  13. Whatizitman

    Whatizitman Tele-Afflicted

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    OMG THANK YOU
     
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  14. beninma

    beninma Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    LOL.. nothing wrong with his movies back in the day when Action movies were Action movies.

    We used to call it "cheese". "Under Cheese", "License to Cheese", "Executive Cheese".

    You were supposed to watch these movies half drunk with your college buddies cause they were on at 2AM and there was nothing better to do.

    He had some ridiculously corny swear lines I remember thinking were really funny when I was 20 and wasted.

    I think the worse one might have been the movie on a train. His movies were always guilty of "action movie healing". The train movie he takes a .50 cal sniper bullet to one of his arms. In real life it would probably have removed the arm completely. He's hurt by it in the movie and there's a ton of blood but he heals up within 15 minutes to the point that arm is good enough for hand to hand fighting again.

    Of course it was probably also fake that the sniper could hit him from another train car while the train was bouncing around a corner in the mountains.

    All these movies are unwatchable now cause we've moved out of that period. Van Damme, Segal, Chuck Norris, Schwarzenegger, etc.. .. but I think they had a place back in the day.

    We don't really get cowboy movies anymore either and those were really bad too!
     
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  15. Chunkocaster

    Chunkocaster Poster Extraordinaire

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    Seagal is just that bit more cheesy than Van Damme.
    I would watch them fight to the death in a Octagon if it was for real but other than that I won't watch any of their movies unless forced to.

    Seagal comes across as full of chit but a life spent involved in the Hollywood machine seems to do that to most people. I think it may be a pre requisite of being accepted into the Hollywood fold.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2019
  16. Alter

    Alter Tele-Meister

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    Okay ;)

     
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  17. speedingjet

    speedingjet Tele-Meister

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    I recently watched the Segal movie where he's working for a crooked oil company boss played by Michael Caine (On Deadly Ground).

    I knew it would be bad – that's what I hoped, that's why I bought it for 2 bucks at the St. Vincent charity shop.
    My girlfriend and I could hardly catch our breath from our uncontrollable couch-slapping laughter. I mean it was an epic unintentional comedy – one of the greats in this regard.

    So many terrible decisions wrapped up in such a wonderfully awful, bad, inexcusable movie. We still crack up when one of us brings up a scene or a line.

    Sometimes a movie can be so bad that it barrels right through the other side to a whole lot of fun to openly mock throughout – like those old guys on the balcony in the Muppet Show.

    If I see another one of his DVDs at St. Vincent, I'm going to be 2 dollars and 2 hours poorer!
     
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  18. Piggy Stu

    Piggy Stu Friend of Leo's

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    Live and let live

    I don't need everyone to create what I consider to be valid and coherent art. I do not like a fat clown in a circus but he can still exist and entertain morons

    If he ever produced anything as funny as Elvis doing karate in sunglasses then he made the world a better place
     
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  19. Whatizitman

    Whatizitman Tele-Afflicted

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    Yeah, it was the 80s. The original First Blood with Stallone was actually not too bad, as far as the "tortured soul takes on world" genre goes. But the franchise just went so overboard after that. When Rambo (First Blood II) came out, I was a young teenager, and went with my BIL on a bros night out to the local theatre to see it. Right at the point when Rambo turns the tables and goes, uh, Rambo, some guy in the back row stood up and ran toward the balcony yelling something to Rambo to kill everyone or whatever. Like I said, it was the 80s. Then Costner happened, er, kept happening. Geez. Don't miss that crap. Don't miss it all.
     
  20. beninma

    beninma Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    I managed to miss most of Rambo, I was too young. Same with Rocky. Rocky is definitely better than most of these movies but it's still in the same genre I think. I have seen the first Rambo and that one was pretty good. I'm pretty sure that same town got blown up in another action movie later though!

    Costner was tough to watch cause he couldn't even be bothered to get in shape for his superhuman action movie performances. Maybe he never dosed up on steroids and you have to respect that I guess.

    Hot Shots Part Deux... remember when they spoofed Rambo by putting up a body count HUD on the screen?

    I think in 20 years we're going to look back on all these Marvel movies the same way. "How on earth did we go so insane as to think this was good?"
     
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