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Songwriters...how do you get/take feedback?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Flat6Driver, Sep 8, 2017.

  1. cousinpaul

    cousinpaul Friend of Leo's

    Jun 19, 2009
    Nashville TN
    Thanks for the critique. It addresses more items than any I've had in the ten years or so I've been playing the song. Appreciate your eye for detail and the thought you put into it. I've heard the phone booth mentioned a few times but the ambiguity is intentional. As you noted, I never mentioned a woman. A different listener might simply hear it as someone leaving home for greener pastures and having some doubts along the way. He could just as easily be calling his folks. I'm not sure I achieved it here but sometimes ambiguity can add to a song's appeal, with the listener filling in the blanks. Anyhow, thanks again for the critique. You've given me some things to think about.
     
    JustABluesGuy and Harry Styron like this.

  2. String Tree

    String Tree Doctor of Teleocity

    Dec 8, 2010
    Up North
    I don't write that much.
    But, when I come-up with something I can listen to over-and-over, then I'm happy to play it for others.

    I do my best to put my feelings in Neutral when playing it (Live or, Recording) for others.
    To 'expect' their approval is unrealistic.
    I LOVE it, but they may not.
    Have to be able to roll with it.
     
    Wyzsard likes this.

  3. Harry Styron

    Harry Styron Tele-Holic

    760
    Aug 2, 2011
    Branson, Mo
    Thanks for being a good sport.

    I wanted to provide a example of criticism of the song, not the writer.
     

  4. JustABluesGuy

    JustABluesGuy Tele-Afflicted

    Age:
    60
    Sep 2, 2016
    Houston, TX
    Excellent point! This is a tried and true method for getting good feedback. Lots of great bands performed their new songs live before going into the studio with them. Audiences had already "shown" them what they preferred, and what they didn't.

    I don't so much "ask" what people think (with exceptions) as "watch" how they react. I haven't performed a lot of originals publicly, but I can tell from band mates and jam friends reactions when I happen to luck into something decent. They play much better!

    It's pretty obvious if your band mates are enjoying it or not. When I'm playing lead and the rhythm player compliments me for what I played, I always remind them that I can only play as well as their rhythm playing "allows" me to, so back atcha'!
     

  5. JustABluesGuy

    JustABluesGuy Tele-Afflicted

    Age:
    60
    Sep 2, 2016
    Houston, TX
    I've always thought the opposite "might" work as well. Lie to the audience, and call an original a rarely heard song from (insert name of band that "could" have written something similar). It predisposes them to think they "should" like it.

    That will probably work better with audiences that aren't that receptive to original music.

    Personally I have always preferred bands that played originals over straight cover bands, so one would actually do better telling me it's an original tune.
     

  6. Wyzsard

    Wyzsard Friend of Leo's

    Thanks for taking a look Paul.

    He has definitely made his mind up. The tag drives that home. In the bridge there he acknowledges there may come a day he may have a regret or two but, then ends with him again saying he's pretty much made his mind up.

    If I added the conflict you're suggesting, I'll be in for a major
    rewrite. Probably scrapping it and reusing the hook from a totally different angle. Like if he were watching her walk out the door.

    On yours I'll have to give it another read-through here in a few. Only thing I can offer for now is the Egyptian pyramid and indefinitely words aren't rolling off the tongue very well with the melody I'm hearing before that part comes around.
     

  7. Wyzsard

    Wyzsard Friend of Leo's

    Paul, I took another look and I can't offer anything that Harry didn't offer. It honestly looks like a first draft that needs to be rewritten.

    One example...This line ...
    With a truck stop, a speed cop, a teardrop for every mile

    That one needs to go.

    There aren't truck stops and speed cops on every mile of any Highway.
     

  8. cousinpaul

    cousinpaul Friend of Leo's

    Jun 19, 2009
    Nashville TN
    I always thought that line was kinda trite. Maybe I'll try to re-write the bridge but I'm keeping my "Egyptian pyramid." Wish I'd had you guys around back when I was writing that one. Thanks for the feedback.
     
    Wyzsard likes this.

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