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Just went to my 1st Al-Anon meeting

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by 1955, Mar 5, 2013.

  1. 1955

    1955 Poster Extraordinaire

    Apr 10, 2010
    U.S.A
    A lot going on, interesting, supportive, strange in some ways. The people were very nice, one gave me a book, one hugged me. They were very welcoming. It seems that the literature is centered around detachment, spirituality, self-control, reframing, and distraction. Reducing codependency and enabling behavior, and taking responsibility for your own happiness, despite being yoked with a problem drinker, etc.

    Anybody have a similar experiences or insight? Thanks!
     
  2. Jonny_Quest

    Jonny_Quest Tele-Afflicted

    Jun 30, 2011
    Manhattan, Kansas
    The same features of a cult that once claimed a friend of mine....
     
  3. w3stie

    w3stie Poster Extraordinaire

    Apr 19, 2010
    Brisbane
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  5. Jupiter

    Jupiter Doctor of Teleocity

    Jun 22, 2010
    Osaka, Japan
    :rolleyes:
     
  6. 1955

    1955 Poster Extraordinaire

    Apr 10, 2010
    U.S.A
    Point well taken. I was suspicious of the girl scouts when I was a kid:)

    Sometimes replacing codependencies can trick people into believing they have solved the problem.

    The interesting thing I noticed from the meeting was a resolute desire to change our way of perceiving and reacting to the alcoholic in our life (that perhaps will never hit rock bottom.)
     
  7. 1955

    1955 Poster Extraordinaire

    Apr 10, 2010
    U.S.A
    Interesting. I do think that having a good understanding of the disease and the tools to deal with those who have it can be very useful, because sometimes we forget alcoholics actually have a disease (and often an attitude problem to boot) and it becomes difficult to be compassionate if we don't keep that in mind as they wreak utter destruction on their families and friends with their drinking. I've learned quite a bit about AA and I don't even drink.
     
  8. Jupiter

    Jupiter Doctor of Teleocity

    Jun 22, 2010
    Osaka, Japan
    In my experience, one of the best things about Al-Anon is that it's a group of people strongly focused on supporting each other without getting all into your s&!#. Which is one of the hundred ways it's not like a cult.
     
  9. uriah1

    uriah1 Doctor of Teleocity

    Feb 12, 2011
    Around
    +2 yr coin.....works great.....got peace back !! Got to find right meeting
    though..some are just angry people not working it..
     
  10. emu!

    emu! Poster Extraordinaire

    (I'm not a psychologist, but I like playing one on the internet.)

    Congrats!

    Almost everyone has their escape method from reality. If we didn't find a way to escape, it could literally drive us insane. As we grow older or when we get help from others, reality gets easier to face head-on...hopefully. My escape method was not alcohol, but it was just as confining.
     
  11. uriah1

    uriah1 Doctor of Teleocity

    Feb 12, 2011
    Around
    by the by
    Alanon is not for the abuser, per se, it is serenity and support for people with them in their life. (see AA,CA,NA)
     
  12. Mjark

    Mjark Poster Extraordinaire

    Feb 14, 2011
    Annapolis, MD
    Neither Alanon or AA are a cult.
     
  13. Dogface

    Dogface Tele-Meister

    218
    Mar 25, 2003
    Tn.
    >.The interesting thing I noticed from the meeting was a resolute desire to change our way of perceiving and reacting to the alcoholic in our life.

    This. Cultophobia is not warranted.
     
  14. vjf1968

    vjf1968 Poster Extraordinaire

    Age:
    48
    Jan 9, 2008
    Philadelphia
    Actually when you use the "r" word and as part of the program you are approaching cult status. That is not saying it is a cult but pretty close. The "higher power" thing is also an issue with most as well.
     
  15. dan1952

    dan1952 Friend of Leo's

    Age:
    63
    Jun 24, 2004
    Anderson, IN
    Neither organization is a cult. I have experience with both. However, be careful what you say in either group - confidentiality is given a lot of lip service, but don't bet on it.
     
  16. TJNY

    TJNY Friend of Leo's

    Feb 25, 2005
    Orange County, NY
    No, but good luck to you and yours!
     
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2013
  17. rideit

    rideit Tele-Holic

    897
    Jan 24, 2013
    Jackson, WY
    The difference is that with any 12 step program, you can take it or leave it. Or just 'take what you need, and leave the rest'.
    Whatever you think, believe, or do is up to you, not anyone else.
    You don't have to believe in anything, and attendance is irrelevant.
    It's free, and apolitical.
    The polar opposite of ANY 'cult'.
    I don't attend any, but I respect those that do, it has saved millions from misery, think of the alternative.
     
  18. Fendrcaster

    Fendrcaster Tele-Afflicted

    1955 stated that he does not drink; I guess he went as an observer.

    Sent from my iPad using TDPRI
     
  19. rideit

    rideit Tele-Holic

    897
    Jan 24, 2013
    Jackson, WY
    Al-anon isn't for people who drink.
     
  20. stnmtthw

    stnmtthw Friend of Leo's

    Apr 2, 2012
    New Mexico
    I grew up with an alcoholic stepdad. I wish my mom had gotten us in to something like that, but she refused to acknowledge he had a problem (a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best between lunch and 3:00 meant he just liked beer). I'm glad you're getting help for yourself, you can't make someone change, no matter how much you love them.

    Feel free to shoot me a pm if you want. I'm not trained or anything, but sometimes it helps to talk.
     
  21. Mjark

    Mjark Poster Extraordinaire

    Feb 14, 2011
    Annapolis, MD
    I don't want to derail this thread so I'll only say there's effective help at either entity for those who want it.
     
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