Is Dad pushing his little kid too hard???

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by ASATKat, May 17, 2019.

  1. Milspec

    Milspec Friend of Leo's

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    My Grandfather once gave me the advice that you should raise your kids the same way that you teach them to ride a bike. Don't push them, just support them and be there when they fall until the child learns to balance for themselves. Then you celebrate their success with them.
     
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  2. Texsunburst59

    Texsunburst59 Tele-Afflicted

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    I have a son who's an above average singer and guitar player.

    A lot of people said that he should have tried out for American Idol or The Voice, but he never felt the urge and I didn't push him.

    He uses his talent in church where he's been singing in the Praise and Worship team for 10 years now.

    He loves singing and playing and is happy where he's at.

    Here are a few videos of him singing/ and or playing :

    My son is the guy with the beard:



     
    Last edited: May 19, 2019
  3. Milspec

    Milspec Friend of Leo's

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    Above average is an understatement, he seems to have his crap together and boy do I love the room acoustics of churches! I always say, if you are happy where you are there is no reason to move, so why sign up for such a show if you like playing where you do? Wise kid.
     
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  4. El Tele Lobo

    El Tele Lobo Friend of Leo's

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    The most gilded stage in Hollywood is no comparison to singing before the throne of the Lord Almighty.

    And WOW! Your son has a FANTASTIC voice!
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2019
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  5. ASATKat

    ASATKat Tele-Afflicted

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    Here's one kids good experience with daddy pushing her,

     
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  6. Junkyard Dog

    Junkyard Dog Tele-Afflicted

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    I can't believe this father is spending time with his child singing songs and so forth. Just terrible.
     
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  7. Informal

    Informal Tele-Holic

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    It makes me think of the years I tried to teach my daughter guitar, with zero interest from her...

    We had new neighbors move in a few years ago, one of their young daughters was mesmerized by the instrument, I taught her a few chords, she was a fast learner, I gave her 6-7 lessons, and I helped her parents pick out a good starter guitar for her... She'll probably be a better guitarist than me in another year or two.

    My daughter asked me why I didn't teach her how to play. :confused::confused:
     
  8. hopdybob

    hopdybob Tele-Holic

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    if so much grown ups can't handle fame and fortune,why would someone think a kid can?
    children have to play and learn in a environment that keeps them save for to much attention, because they can't handle that.
    and kids want to please their parents, beings seen and known by them as good and precious.
    a known psychiatrist dr, Anna Teruwwe had this saying: (i hope i translated is good)

    you MAY be who you are, to become who you are , but can't be today
    and you MAY become that in your manner/way and in your hour.

    if a child gets in the pressure zone where it thinks it is not good enough, and parents over ask them, they will be damaged for life
     
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  9. Old Deaf Roadie

    Old Deaf Roadie Tele-Holic

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    My dad hated electric guitars ("I won't have no 100 db in this house" Me- "yeah, right...), guys with long hair (been over a year since the last haircut), and any band that wasn't the Dorsey's. I guess that is why I am here & who I am.
     
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  10. PeterUK

    PeterUK Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    I remember the conversation I had with my son re: careers & growing up.

    Son: What should I do when I leave school?
    Me: Something that makes you happy son!
    Son: I want to be in the music business but I may not make a fortune doing it!
    Me: But will it make you happy?
    Son: Yes, but school is advising me to study Maths & Science as my career prospects will be better. They’ve said there’s no money in music or the arts & I’d be better off with a science degree.
    Me: Do you like science? It’s not your best subject based on your grades?
    Son: No, I don’t hate it but I prefer the arts. You know I’m good at music! (He regularly drummed for our band).
    Me: Then study the arts, get a degree in what you love and what will make you happy and don’t worry about being rich or winning a Nobel Prize for science.

    My son Tom went on to study and get a degree in Music Production and now works as a touring sound tech - which he loves doing and has worked with many bands including big acts such as Eric Clapton, Dolly Parton & The Eagles (as part of their crews).

    He’s also making a decent living from it and looking to buy his first home.

    I had a similar conversation with my daughter. She’s also just about to graduate with an Arts degree and is likely to move to Paris or Berlin to further her career. She’s doing something she loves!

    I’ve seen kids that were ‘pushed’ by their parents and they are invariably unhappy & often resentful of where they are now and what they are doing.

    Parents should encourage their kids to pursue their own dreams.

    :) Peter
     
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  11. studio1087

    studio1087 Telefied Silver Supporter

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    Hmmmm. I have a prejudice against dads who push too hard. Our kids played LaCrosse with a boy who’s dad was a sports fanatic. He was a small framed yuppie who would run up and down the sideline barking at his kid. Picture Tom Cruise running past you (back and forth) bitching at a nice little kid.

    Not healthy. There’s a fine line between heathy encouragement and obnoxious bullying.
     
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  12. strats62

    strats62 TDPRI Member

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    your dad was this guy?

    [​IMG]
     
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  13. Tek1

    Tek1 TDPRI Member

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    Don't know this father. Can't stand "stage parents" My youngest was, and still is a triple threat. Got whatever part she auditioned for. She now performs in front of her high school students. We supported her by taking her to where ever she wanted to audition. The key is it was her choice. Have way too many stories about stage parents. Did not have a problem with them messing up their own kids. Had to use a lot of restraint when the messed with other kids. Then there is dealing with the "I am the greatest" syndrome.
     
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  14. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Poster Extraordinaire

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    I'm truly happy things turned out well for your son and daughter, Peter.....it CAN happen, and it's wonderful for all when it does.
    But for every one with a happy ending, there are dozens (if not hundreds) for which it isn't so good. I had a friend in high school (late sixties) who was an incredible guitarist and singer. He had several national record releases, toured the world, had critical acclaim, etc. I don't have personal knowledge as to how much money he earned, or what he did with it, but I do know several years ago he was diagnosed with cancer. It turned out he and his wife were basically broke, lived in a modest rental house, had no assets or insurance, and there were several fund-raisers/benefits to raise money for his medical treatments. I never saw or talked with him in those later days, so I won't pretend to guess at whether he had regrets related to his life choices or situations. I only know that MY choices would not have been the same. He died leaving his wife with staggering debts, which I assume were absorbed by others (taxpayers)
    Too many youngsters make their decisions based on dreams, and not practical, pragmatic realities. ;)
    So, I wonder if a kid's "happiness" should be the only consideration here?
     
  15. ricknbaker

    ricknbaker Tele-Holic

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    Berlin. Much cheaper and grittier than Paris. My favourite city. After London of course.
     
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  16. Les H

    Les H Tele-Meister

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    I can't stand parents who try to live vicariously through their kids or try to market their children's talent for a buck.
     
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  17. PeterUK

    PeterUK Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    She did her first degree in London but favours Berlin (speaks some German) but we also love Paris (speaks reasonable French). Her other language is Japanese but Tokyo is not on the list (thank goodness).

    I went to University in Bristol and thought I’d travelled, but the world is a much smaller place nowadays.

    :) Peter
     
  18. rich815

    rich815 Friend of Leo's

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    I know. Right? It’s a good thing they put it on YouTube though...
     
  19. ricknbaker

    ricknbaker Tele-Holic

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    One of my daughters, doing Spanish and German (Not that I pushed her into it) lived in Berlin for a year. Brilliant. I'm hoping she'll go back there when she graduates so we have an excuse to keep visiting. After all, it was good enough for Bowie.
     
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  20. Ian T

    Ian T Tele-Holic

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    By the same token, I've wondered if I'm doing my daughter wrong by encouraging her to play music. Let's face it, the life of a typical professional musician is a life of debauchery.

    Cheating on partners, excessive drinking and drug use, financial struggle, all pretty much normal unless you play at church as your only gigs. Even most classical musicians these days are using. Sober musicians who are faithful to their spouse when on the road are few and far between. Professional musicians more often than not struggle with addiction and holding relationships together. Being on the road is awful for parenting. It's a tough life, period.
     
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