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How does one just... Quit?

Discussion in 'Band Wagon' started by haggardfan1, Dec 27, 2016.

  1. haggardfan1

    haggardfan1 Friend of Leo's

    Mar 17, 2014
    down every road
    I don't want to jam with anyone, I don't want gigs with the country band I'm in, and I don't really want to play at church anymore after four years. Since the spring of this year, I've totally lost my motivation.

    Health has been a big part of it. A toothache last July led (from one dentist to another) to finally osteomyelitis in the jawbone. That resulted in the extraction of two of my 32 original teeth in October, plus removal of a lot of jawbone. I go back tomorrow to see if I need a graft or whether I can consider implants (which I cannot afford) a bridge, or a partial. Meantime, my singing sounds terrible. My tongue goes into the gap in my teeth at random, and my enunciation is nothing like it was a year ago.

    I feel like I'm just going through the motions, phoning in everything I do.

    I'm looking into ways to sell off all but maybe one Tele and my acoustics, and most of my amps.

    If you have considered retirement from music, and people depend on you but you feel you are no longer providing what they do you tell them you're done?

  2. mauer62

    mauer62 Tele-Holic

    Aug 29, 2016
    That has happened to me a few times due to health and priorities. You probably don't feel very good right now after all that stuff you are going through and probably the meds sap you of your ambitions also. This will pass when you start to get past your trials and feel better.
    songtalk and Greenmachine like this.

  3. falcon5romeo

    falcon5romeo Tele-Holic

    Dec 15, 2015
    Lehigh Valley
    I would just be honest. And be careful, music is in the bones. I wouldn't burn any bridges or sell all my gear, because you'll probably want it back when you're feeling better.
    songtalk, Obsessed, the_lyall and 3 others like this.

  4. wayloncash

    wayloncash Tele-Afflicted

    Apr 7, 2012
    Houston, TX
    I hope it does get better for you bud. I was going to make a joke along the lines of tell them "screw you, screw you, screw you. You're cool, I'm out"
    But now it doesn't feel appropriate. Honesty is the best policy, if you've already done the soul searching and made up your mind.
    Downsman likes this.

  5. Rod Parsons

    Rod Parsons Friend of Leo's

    Sep 26, 2009
    Winchester, Va.
    Our drummer just told us one night that he just had "too much going on" to be able to continue..... With your dental care going on, along with your feeling, that you aren't really mentally, 'into it now', just tell them that.. Our drummer has promised to 'fill in' for any night, that we have booked without a new drummer, for awhile, but it hasn't been any big thing. We just ask around for someone who plays drums and has the night free to play with us... Most bands evolve with new members all the time.. The last drummer, who played with us last month, was really 'GREAT".

  6. Ron R

    Ron R Friend of Leo's

    Mar 23, 2016
    Raleigh, NC
    By explaining exactly what you just did here. Or, if you're struggling with the words, open this post and let them read it.

  7. 4 Cat Slim

    4 Cat Slim Friend of Leo's

    Oct 17, 2012
    Nelson City TX
    I've had various health issues as well, though nothing as what you describe, but I can understand how not being at your previous level of performance can rob you of your energy. I've also experienced business and financial setbacks, which made me doubt the use of continuing. But I enjoy playing too much to completely quit.
    If nothing else, as suggested above, open this post and let people read it.

  8. haggardfan1

    haggardfan1 Friend of Leo's

    Mar 17, 2014
    down every road
    That's the thing. I'm not a great all-around vocalist or guitarist, and I've been working with a group of folks I'd call friends, who seem to think I am.

    I'm just worn out. Plus I need time for school/soccer age kids, and all that entails. I've tried to make time for everything, plus not feeling well, and I just can't. Something has to go, and it's looking like music will fall by the wayside.

  9. 4 Cat Slim

    4 Cat Slim Friend of Leo's

    Oct 17, 2012
    Nelson City TX
    It sounds as if you've given this matter a lot of consideration. It's more difficult by the fact that you seem to have supportive friends who think so highly of your talents.
    What seems to tilt things in favor of leaving music is that you have an opportunity to play a bigger part in your kids' activities. That in itself, represents a priceless opportunity. Best wishes to you whatever you choose to do, haggardfan1. Just remember to check in with us every now and then if you decide to leave music.

  10. 1955

    1955 Poster Extraordinaire

    Apr 10, 2010
    Certain uncertainty
    Just be direct and honest and do what's right for yourself.
    tery likes this.

  11. Donnie55

    Donnie55 Tele-Afflicted

    Jul 31, 2009
    Jacksonville , Fl.
    Just take a break from music.. But don't sell yer stuff the bug will hit again and chances are you will stumble thru a new door and have a new lease on life and music... The music picked you you didn't pick it.. So don't fight what you were blessed with.. Just roll with it..

  12. Paul in Colorado

    Paul in Colorado Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Mar 17, 2003
    Fort Collins, CO
    If you do decide to sell off some gear, put the money aside somewhere it won't be spent. That way when and if you get to a place where you want to play again, there's money for new gear.

    I can relate. The drugs I have to take sap a lot of my energy and make it hard for me to do music. I love it too much to stop though and it's not a conflict with other things.

    Good luck working things out. FWIW, Your kids will remember you more as a dad who was there then as a dad who played guitar well and wasn't around much.

  13. Jupiter

    Jupiter Telefied Silver Supporter

    Jun 22, 2010
    Osaka, Japan
    Throw yourself a retirement party and invite all the folks you've played with.
    robt57 likes this.

  14. robt57

    robt57 Telefied Ad Free Member

    Feb 29, 2004
    Portland, OR
    I hope the time it takes before you feel more yourself is not too long and hard.

    God Bless!

  15. charlie chitlin

    charlie chitlin Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

    Mar 17, 2003
    Spring City, Pa
    I think only total geniuses can just quit.
    Shakespeare did it.
    The rest of us have to keep plugging on.
    The brass ring thing.
    Setbacks are setbacks.
    You'll be back ;)

  16. deech54

    deech54 Tele-Meister

    Jul 31, 2014
    I got burnt out from it and just too busy doing other things. I quit for 20 years. After I retired I bought another Tele and now I'm having more fun and playing better than I ever did when I was "serious" about it.

  17. moosie

    moosie Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

    Jul 18, 2010
    Western Connecticut
    You might find that you still like playing a lot, once the pressure to gig is removed.

    What others have said, don't burn bridges. At the same time, don't conflate playing for pleasure with gigging for money.

    Chances are your health will either improve, or you'll develop some coping skills.

    Teach your kids to play guitar?

  18. ebb soul

    ebb soul Poster Extraordinaire

    Jun 7, 2016
    Smyrna georgia
    You are suffering from low self esteem.
    If you had implants you would have your presentation intact, and would not want to quit.
    Sorry to hit a nerve, but I've seen it to many times.
    Musicians tend to be a bit self centered, and, as such are thrown way out of whack regarding vanity.
    My 2 cents could be wrong many may disagree.
    Baby. Bath water.
    The best singer I know quit because of her weight.
    Chicago Matt likes this.

  19. telemandave

    telemandave Tele-Meister

    May 18, 2015
    Don't get rid of everything buddy. You need to at least keep a telecaster, an amp, and a flat top. Music is in the blood and I know how you feel, because I have been there. You can enjoy playing, even if its just at home. Believe me, there will come a time, when you will want to play more again, and then, you will go out and buy the stuff that you are thinking about selling. What I did was, cut back some on my playing to spend more time with family and such, but now my kids are grown and I play most every weekend and I'm loving it. If you want to talk more about this stuff, send me a message and we can talk about all this stuff. I have been there Bro. You need to keep pickin that Tele. It is a wonderful gift that you have to be able to play and I'm sure you play well. Message me anytime my friend. :)

  20. Teleguy61

    Teleguy61 Friend of Leo's

    Donnie55 has it right.
    Take a break, but don't sell stuff.
    I quit playing for 10 yrs, just burned out.
    I'm back playing and enjoying it more than ever.
    It'll come back.
    Donnie55 likes this.

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