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How do you bail on a band?

Discussion in 'Band Wagon' started by swampyankee, Mar 27, 2018.

  1. stringslinger

    stringslinger Tele-Holic

    Mar 22, 2011
    Nashville, TN
    Oh yeah, you can't bail on the Mrs! Good luck, the band and the leader will get over any bitterness quickly. It's not like you signed a contract. :D And if they don't, it's not your problem.
  2. Jakedog

    Jakedog Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Mar 26, 2003
    The North Coast
    I've bailed on a lot of bands. I usually just say "sorry folks, but this ain't me no more". They're pros, so they get it.

    The worst is having to bail out your band so you can make the gig. Yikes.
    brookdalebill and Jimmy Owen like this.
  3. Xtyfighterx

    Xtyfighterx Tele-Meister

    Mar 2, 2018
    North idaho
    Just sleep with one of your band mates girl friends as long as she’s good looking that’s what I did. Worked like a charm! That was also high school to ha.

    Id just be straight up tell them how it is how you feel and you have more important things that need the attention more than the band. If they get salty then that’s there problem. I wouldn’t want to play with guys anyway who made me feel like a POS for needed to go my separate way.
  4. Rob J

    Rob J Tele-Meister

    Feb 14, 2007
    Nor California
    To the original poster (swampyankee). So, what's the update? Did you cut ties with the band and if so, what did you tell them and how did it go? Inquiring minds want to know.
    Tele Ted likes this.
  5. dogmeat

    dogmeat Tele-Holic

    Oct 12, 2017
    just hop on the bus Gus...... no need to discuss much.... just drop off the key, Lee
    and get yourself free
    Zepfan and 41144 like this.
  6. Charlie Bernstein

    Charlie Bernstein Poster Extraordinaire

    Apr 26, 2003
    Augusta, Maine
    Haven't read the other responses, but I've quit a couple of bands and have had a few people quit on me. The biggest things for me are:

    - If you can show up for the gigs that are already booked, that will be a huge help.

    - If there are any regular monthly gigs, playing those until you get replaced would be a godsend.

    - If you can find some candidates to fill your spot, that would be a big boon, too.
  7. swampyankee

    swampyankee Tele-Holic Gold Supporter

    Feb 5, 2015
    Southeastern MA
    I've had a good talk with my bandmates, one-on-one. I think they know where I'm coming from and we've come to an agreement that if I can't make a gig, or it gets to be too much, they play it without me, no pressure. Should be ok, since we have a keyboardist now.

    So it looks like I'm still in - for now...
    Jimmy Owen likes this.
  8. joebloggs13

    joebloggs13 Tele-Holic

    Jun 14, 2017
    The backyard
    Well that's good news.The best possible outcome I'd say!:)
  9. 3-Chord-Genius

    3-Chord-Genius Friend of Leo's

    Apr 3, 2015
    Winchester, VA
    I left one band after a single practice/audition. I got to the house where the other three members (drummer, singer/rhythm guitarist, and bass player) rehearsed. I set up my Marshall half-stack, plugged in, and we went to it. The singer/guitarist and bass player were excellent musicians, and really nice guys. The drummer was so bad I'm not even sure I should classify him as a drummer. Horrible. He'd play fills and return to the song 3 beats behind, and even his normal playing was so horrible I don't see how the other two guys even put up with him, unless they were friends beforehand and were kind of stuck with him. That band was going to go nowhere with that guy, but I didn't have it in my heart to tell them. So they told me I was in, and when it came time to leave I was wheeling my amp back into my truck and they said, "Why don't you just leave it here?" I made up some excuse about wanting to replace the tubes or something, and left. So the next day or so I called them up to tell them that my work schedule would not allow me to play with them (or some other lie, I can't remember), and guess who answered the phone? The guy who was pretending to be the a drummer. He said to me, "Well, then we're better off without you because we need someone reliable." I said, "Yes, I understand", resisting the urge to say what I really wanted to say...
    drlucky, hrstrat57 and trancedental like this.
  10. Mr Ridesglide

    Mr Ridesglide Tele-Afflicted Gold Supporter

    Dec 11, 2009
    Bloomington, MN
    Sorry folks -- really I am, but I gotta gooooooooo
  11. Northern Tele

    Northern Tele Tele-Meister

    Oct 10, 2016
    It is so easy to leave a few parting shots, especially if they are justified but I have found it is better to leave gracefully, thank the others for the time you played together and move on.
  12. Tele1966

    Tele1966 Friend of Leo's

    Jul 30, 2014
    I assume just about everyone on this forum knows the dirty trick of intentionally firing band members by actually not firing them, but by just quitting the band. It can be argued it spares hurt feelings. I would support that argument.

    Quit a band knowing the band will cease to exist and miraculously reform a few months later.

    I'm not suggesting the OP was fired by Bob. I'm only mentioning this technique of firing band members by quitting for educational purposes.
    Tootle and lil scotty like this.
  13. swampyankee

    swampyankee Tele-Holic Gold Supporter

    Feb 5, 2015
    Southeastern MA
    Before my present gig I was playing bass in a band that was just forming. I didn't hold out much hope since the guitarist wasn't that great and would take these godawful extended solos in every song.
    We were auditioning singers so I brought a friend along to try out. Afterward I asked her what she thought and she said, "Truthfully, if you, the drummer and the harmonica player wanted to form a different band, I'm in, but that guitarist ruins the whole thing!"
    Shortly thereafter I got offered the lead guitar part in my present band. I just told the other band that I was offered a position I couldn't refuse my a very old friend, which was pretty much true. But I left out the part where I didn't think their band was going anywhere.
    Tele1966 likes this.
  14. larsongs

    larsongs TDPRI Member

    Jan 17, 2018
    Southern California
    Don't burn bridges. Treat it like business. Give a reasonable notice & honor it.
    LocoTex likes this.
  15. cyclopean

    cyclopean Friend of Leo's

    Aug 14, 2009
    innsmouth, MA
    what were they charged with and is a bail bondsman involved?
  16. Paul in Colorado

    Paul in Colorado Telefied Ad Free Member

    Mar 17, 2003
    Fort Collins, CO
    Disappear. Don't show up, don't answer the phone, don't hang out where they hang out. If you see any of them don't mention the band. If they bring it up, just say something like, "That was fun wasn't it?" And change the subject.

    Or not...
  17. Greg M

    Greg M Tele-Holic

    Sep 4, 2003
    Just tell them honestly that you don't have the time to do it and give them a date that will be your last gig.
    Undone likes this.
  18. Old Deaf Roadie

    Old Deaf Roadie TDPRI Member

    Oct 11, 2017
    I got married and neglected to inform the band that we were getting married...getting married and moving to Cheyenne, that is. I ended up fessing up the morning of the wedding by phone in order to prevent these guys from finding out at the reception. I still feel bad about that 24 years later. Don't do what I did, getting married, that is... But in all seriousness, be honest, up-front, and respectful & if they are adults, then they will act like adults.
  19. Undone

    Undone TDPRI Member

    Feb 15, 2018
    50 ways to do it...
  20. jimilee

    jimilee Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

    Dec 19, 2017
    Adults and musicians? I think that’s asking a lot.
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