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How do you bail on a band?

Discussion in 'Band Wagon' started by swampyankee, Mar 27, 2018.

  1. swampyankee

    swampyankee Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

    530
    Feb 5, 2015
    Southeastern MA
    I've been playing with this band for going on 3 years. It's been a hobby for me and everyone originally agreed to play out no more than once or twice a month. But that was before we were even playing out, and since then my bandmates have gotten a taste for what little money we make. The rest of the guys are retired and now see the band as a source of income. I could care less since I work full time at a decent job, as well as a parttime job and a house to restore. I just can't play out as much as the rest of the guys want to, but I feel guilty telling them I can't play every gig they book.
    At this point, we've brought in a keyboard player and as the second guitarist and backup vocalist, I see the addition of the keyboard play as my opportunity to bail without leaving the guys high and dry.

    My bandmates are somewhat of a crotchety bunch, which makes it even less temping to stick with it. We have gigs booked through July at this point, with more coming in. I'm thinking of staying with it to make sure the keyboardist sticks with them, play the gigs in April, and make my farewells then.
    No matter what, I'll probably catch alot of slack so I don't relish the idea of telling them. But what's the best way to give notice?
     
    INFANT likes this.

  2. schmee

    schmee Tele-Afflicted

    Jun 2, 2003
    northwest
    just say it. too much time involved for you.
    It's terribly difficult booking bands and takes a ton of time, especially if members have a lot of excuses why to play or not play.
    Whomever does your booking will likely be happy you quit. Staying on some rule of 2 gigs a month makes it harder. It's feast or famine. Often it works out to be 2 gigs a month average, but that may be 4 one month and 1 the next.
     
    String Tree, Jakedog, Flakey and 3 others like this.

  3. Strider77

    Strider77 TDPRI Member

    16
    Mar 1, 2015
    Moore
    As gracefully as possible? Look, no matter what you say they will either understand or continue to be a "crotchety bunch". I think if you are honest w/ how much you want, and are willing, to play they will let you off with dignity.

    About a year ago I was playing w/ a group once a week. They decided to pick up additional rehearsals which I wasn't able to meet. I explained my situation and they were gracious enough to let me play once a month with them since then. I just make sure that I always show up to the gig before everyone else, w/ a great attitude, (& most importantly) prepared to play by knowing the set backwards & forwards. They can't complain b/c I'm ready to go & I don't cause problems w/in the group.
     

  4. Pappy Yokum

    Pappy Yokum Tele-Meister

    Age:
    64
    133
    Dec 12, 2017
    Chincoteague, VA
    You might say, 'This ain't workin'. Life is short. I'm outta here.'

    ~ Pappy ~
    deplorable pick'r :cool:
     
    ladave, Bassman8 and xafinity like this.

  5. bsman

    bsman Tele-Afflicted

    Jun 8, 2003
    Santa Clara

  6. Togman

    Togman Tele-Afflicted

    Apr 28, 2004
    Cambridgeshire, UK
    I've done this in the past. I agreed to honour all dates that were already booked and then I would be out of it. Worked out fine with everybody.
     
    ladave, frank4001, INFANT and 4 others like this.

  7. burntfrijoles

    burntfrijoles Poster Extraordinaire

    Give them a little notice like you would a job. If they give you any crap then make it immediate.
     
    Tootle, ladave, Flakey and 4 others like this.

  8. TimothyC

    TimothyC Tele-Afflicted

    May 12, 2016
    California
    Just pretend you forgot how to speak English and have a friend pickup your phone and say you've been deported with all your gear.
     
    Tootle, kookaburra and beagle like this.

  9. Slim

    Slim Tele-Holic

    843
    Apr 11, 2003
    Fayetteville, AR
    Just tell them the truth; you have 2 jobs and a house to restore.

    "Sorry guys, I just don't have the time. Best of luck and I'll be sure to come see you play."
     
    nojazzhere and tery like this.

  10. brbadg

    brbadg Tele-Afflicted

    Age:
    58
    Mar 11, 2008
    Timonium,Maryland
    Well, just tell them what you said in the beginning.I don't know if I'd wait for the keyboard player.They would need time to figure out the parts without you.Also,don't be sure he isn't going to quit either,then you'd really be stuck.Just tell them as soon as you can,but do the gigs up until the point you mutually agree on.This will also give the keyboard player a kick in the butt.I had to quit a band because of rampant cocaine use.Talk about crochety!
     

  11. dsutton24

    dsutton24 Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

    Dec 29, 2010
    Illinois
    My approach was, "Screw this, I'm done!"
     
    Tootle likes this.

  12. jimilee

    jimilee Tele-Holic

    Age:
    47
    582
    Dec 19, 2017
    Chattanooga
    Just be honest with them and split. They’ll be bitter but thems the breaks.
     
    Bassman8 likes this.

  13. swampyankee

    swampyankee Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

    530
    Feb 5, 2015
    Southeastern MA
    Went to the second practice with the new keyboard player. Alot of what I did as a second guitarist is being duplicated by him. I'm having to relearn alot of the material based on my new role. We talked about the next 2 gigs being played without keyboards. Based on what happened when a former drummer quit, they'll be bitter enough to not want me to play anymore. I'd just as soon make sure the keyboardist is ready.
     

  14. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Friend of Leo's

    Age:
    66
    Feb 3, 2017
    Foat Wuth, Texas
    You didn't take marriage vows with these guys....I say give as much notice as possible (like, NOW) and see how they want to handle it. If they want you to continue for a month, fine. If not, leave immediately. Don't say or do anything they can use to justify hard feelings. Maybe you can stay on good enough terms that you can "float in" occasionally to cover for keyboards or whatever. If they're just bitter old a**holes, then you're better off being shut of them.....
     
    Piggy Stu and INFANT like this.

  15. Tele1966

    Tele1966 Friend of Leo's

    Jul 30, 2014
    US
    It seems totally cut and dry to me. I'd announce right now that I'll play the booked gigs, but then I'm done.

    Let them decide if they want to cut ties any earlier, hopefully they would want to.
     
    dougstrum and INFANT like this.

  16. INFANT

    INFANT Tele-Meister

    475
    Apr 12, 2011
    Stoney Creek, Ontario
    Wow this sounds like something I posted in the Gibson Talk forum a couple of months ago. Right now, we are still playing and getting along quite well but I've told them that since they have no gigs booked for May, I'm leaving after the last gig in April. They've already had a couple of months to find my replacement but I don't know if they've been looking. They are looking for a guitar player/ lead vocalist. I told them to find a guitar player as there are 2 other vocalists in the band. If he/she can sing, it's a bonus!

    http://www.gibson-talk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=355978
     

  17. INFANT

    INFANT Tele-Meister

    475
    Apr 12, 2011
    Stoney Creek, Ontario
    This is exactly what I am doing right now with the band that I am in. I'm not burning bridges.
     

  18. suave eddie

    suave eddie Tele-Holic

    933
    Feb 28, 2009
    Great White North
    Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan
    Don't need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me
    Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much
    Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free
     

  19. 3-Chord-Genius

    3-Chord-Genius Friend of Leo's

    Apr 3, 2015
    Winchester, VA
    Announce it right now, and give them a date.
     
    nojazzhere likes this.

  20. TBOT

    TBOT TDPRI Member

    Age:
    43
    53
    Apr 19, 2016
    USA
    I agree with seeing it like giving notice to a job.

    2 Weeks Notice is Minimally Standard.
    30 Days Notice is Professional and Classy.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2018
    3-Chord-Genius, nojazzhere and INFANT like this.

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