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Asher Guitars WD Music Products Amplified Parts Mod Kits DIY Nordstarnd Pickups Warmoth.com

Feedback On Original Song Needed

Discussion in 'Twanger Central' started by RockNRollin_Nolan, Aug 31, 2017.

  1. RockNRollin_Nolan

    RockNRollin_Nolan TDPRI Member

    Age:
    18
    81
    Aug 30, 2017
    Chandler, AZ
    Hello!

    I'm finally getting to the point where I think I'm good enough at the guitar to create some of my own instrumental music and am looking for some feedback on one of my songs. I've really only showed the song to my family and a couple of close friends and they all liked it, but what does that really mean, right? I'd like some people who don't know me and who are guitarists themselves to critique my music. And so here I am! :)

    I'm open to any criticism. Thanks guys!


     
    brogh, tintag27 and TeleTucson like this.

  2. jimash

    jimash Tele-Afflicted

    Nov 5, 2013
    NJ
    Damn good job. Well conceived, executed, recorded and mixed.
    When I was your age my home studio was two of these.
    [​IMG]
    LOLOLOLOL

    Seriously, very nice work.
     
    brogh and RockNRollin_Nolan like this.

  3. RockNRollin_Nolan

    RockNRollin_Nolan TDPRI Member

    Age:
    18
    81
    Aug 30, 2017
    Chandler, AZ
    Thank you jimash! I really appreciate your input. Haha, yeah, nowadays technology is getting cheaper and cheaper and it's only getting easier and easier for people like me to get my hands on the equipment, the programs, and the knowledge to have a little home studio and pull something like this together.

    Thanks for the reply! :)
     
    jimash likes this.

  4. TeleTucson

    TeleTucson Tele-Meister Ad Free Member

    246
    Aug 6, 2016
    Tucson, AZ
    I'll echo jimash. I was so excited when digital recording became affordable because it would enable track layering w/out noise accumulation.

    Nice vibe -- try mixing some more aggressive licks, and then back, for a change in energy as it develops!
     
    RockNRollin_Nolan likes this.

  5. Steve Holt

    Steve Holt Tele-Holic

    658
    May 29, 2016
    Kansas
    I like it. Very cool and well put together. I dabbled in creating my own music around that age and I don't think I ever came up with anything worth putting on the interwebs. After 10 or 11 years I'm finally starting to work on it again.

    Keep it up and post some more stuff!
     
    RockNRollin_Nolan likes this.

  6. RockNRollin_Nolan

    RockNRollin_Nolan TDPRI Member

    Age:
    18
    81
    Aug 30, 2017
    Chandler, AZ
    Thank you all so much for your replies!

    Thanks for the advice TeleTuscon. I'll be sure to try and have more change of energy in my songs. That's one thing that is definitely missing in this song, and it always bothered me. I'll be sure to try and have that in my next song, thanks!

    Steve, thank you for your kind words. They definitely motivate me to make more, better, music. I'll be sure to post more stuff once I come up with it. :) Good luck with your own songwriting and thank you!
     

  7. Mjark

    Mjark Doctor of Teleocity

    Feb 14, 2011
    Annapolis, MD
    I'd try to write simpler melodies over changes like i V or i VII. Even I IV V.

    This felt formless and a little stiff at the same time. Less effects and more music is always better.

    You're on your way to a life time of a very satisfying endeavor.
     
    RockNRollin_Nolan likes this.

  8. tintag27

    tintag27 Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

    Jan 18, 2010
    Macclesfield, UK
    I like it - I think this has a lot left in it yet, but this is a very solid foundation to build on.
    Great atmosphere and understated instrumentation - which is good :0). Much better to leave space than to try and fill it all. Dynamics is crucial - add different sections and vary volume and rhythm parts. Try cutting out everything but the bass and kit for a few bars... etc, etc

    Frankly, I think you are doing just fine, so I will shut up and leave it to you ... good work
     
    RockNRollin_Nolan likes this.

  9. brogh

    brogh Super Moderator Staff Member

    Jun 26, 2010
    italy
    Hi,

    ok, i think it's a very good starting point, as Mjark said it feels a bit formless, it never seems to " start " from my point of view, try to think a bout a little bit of structure for this kind of music, i mean an intro/verse/chorus situation that defines the song.

    It's not the same kind of music but for learning/inspiration purpose think about the AABA form used by the beatles ( and not just them ), here's something that might push you in the right direction :

    http://www.songstuff.com/song-writing/article/aaba-song-form/

    The audio/mix part is good, but we don't need to worry about this right now right ? ;)

    What i mean is it's not so hard to get clean and good sounding recordings nowadays .. ( i wish it was back when i was about your age ) as jimash said .. in his time and mine that was the home studio ... mine was different...i had the black model LOL

    try to work on definition of the parts, then well get back on the effects/tracks/level stuff :)

    hope it helps

    Cheers
     
    RockNRollin_Nolan and Mjark like this.

  10. brogh

    brogh Super Moderator Staff Member

    Jun 26, 2010
    italy
    i see you play also drums and have a drum set, well man .. you have all the gear that is needed to produce a record you know that :D

    Reduce the drumkit to this :

    [​IMG]

    one of the patterns you play in in you 9 type of drummers video ( the good one ) with some tweaks will fit perfectly IMHO, get the set smaller so it's less distracting ;) and sell that double earthquake simulator that you have ( the double bass pedal ) LOL ;)

    Cheers
     
    RockNRollin_Nolan likes this.

  11. RockNRollin_Nolan

    RockNRollin_Nolan TDPRI Member

    Age:
    18
    81
    Aug 30, 2017
    Chandler, AZ
    Thank you all for the criticism, it'll definitely help me in the future!

    I know exactly what you mean about it feeling formless and stiff. That is what really bothers me about this song. I will try to make sure my next song has more of a structure. And yes, the effects are kind of a crutch for me. I need to try to get rid of them. Thanks for your input!


    I like the atmosphere as well :) I need to work on adding different sections for sure. I really like the idea of cutting out everything except for the bass and kit for a measure or two. I did that with the bass right in the middle of the song and it's one of my favorite parts of the song. I'll definitely try and do that more because I really like it. Thanks!


    Thank you for the link and the advice. I'll be sure to try and use more of that and have more structure in my future songs.


    First off thanks for watching my other video! I appreciate it :) I'm going to start calling it the Double Earthquake Simulator. :p I only have a double bass pedal because I needed to buy a pedal and thought I may as well get a double just in case... But I never use it. That's not my style of music. I can't remember when I last used it before the video. :p

    Thank you for your reply!
     
    brogh likes this.

  12. brogh

    brogh Super Moderator Staff Member

    Jun 26, 2010
    italy
    I don't know if you like or not the beatles, however, there is coursera, which had some great courses one of with was " the music of the beatles " they generally offer (some ) free courses give a peek into that there's a lot of stuff and not limited to music only.

    i made quite a few there and they are very well done .

    here's a "music" link

    if you just take your song and try to " cut " it in slices, a-la ... " ok this part is the intro, then this is the verse i might repeat that two times " and so on you'll have some structure in no time, another advice i ca give you is take a simple song that you like and analyze it and see how it's built here's a wikipedia link, i'm sure you got what i mean.

    songs don't need to be 10 minutes long ;)

    Drummer i was ... lots of gizmos i had ... one of my teacher at the time (weckl ) made super tiny splices and pieces of me with a snare and a hi hat .. and i was playing his set .. i started being member of the K.I.S.S .... ( keep it simple stupid )
    The double pedal thing was obviously a joke ;) it's a cool thing to have and it opens to a lot of stuff ... and i really don't see it with the .. yeah earthquake use .. give a look to this here just an idea ..



    when i'm gonna retire/move to the country i already have my dream set to buy, this one :




    ok .. my twin is warm now .. tele timeeeeeeee ;)

    Keep up the good work
     
    RockNRollin_Nolan likes this.

  13. adjason

    adjason Friend of Leo's

    Jan 9, 2010
    virginia
    I too like it- i'd just recommend trying to find a distinct riff to anchor the song-seemed a bit too formless
     
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  14. RockNRollin_Nolan

    RockNRollin_Nolan TDPRI Member

    Age:
    18
    81
    Aug 30, 2017
    Chandler, AZ
    I definitely will take a look at Coursera. I've heard a lot of good things about them. I really enjoyed the Simon Phillips video. He is very talented, and those drums sound great! I don't see the double bass pedal played like that very often, so it's refreshing. Buon divertimento with the Telecaster. :D


    Thank you! I'm glad you like it. I definitely agree with trying to find a distinct riff. I need to work on that :p
     

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