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ever feel like just giving it all up?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by popthree, Jan 2, 2018.

  1. Mississippi_Kid

    Mississippi_Kid Tele-Meister

    335
    Aug 5, 2016
    Hinterlands, USA
    I don't necessarily play only for me...but "me" is all that ever shows up in my practice nook.

    Seriously, I think we'd all love to hear praise about our creations. If positive feedback were what kept me playing, I'd have quit years ago. My friends and family are "nice" about it, but any videos I've shared with them aren't exactly setting the internet on fire.

    You say this is breaking your heart. Can I ask, what reaction would you like to see? Realistically, if you were being completely honest...what do you want to happen?
     
    ndcaster likes this.

  2. Mr. Lumbergh

    Mr. Lumbergh Poster Extraordinaire

    Jun 13, 2013
    Initech, Inc.
    I’m going through this right now myself, I’ve hardly played in the last couple months and don’t have much interest right now.
    Every time I have though, and it’s been at least three or four now, it’s been a phase, and I’ve always been glad that I didn’t let go of my gear because when the pendulum swung back it was like I never put it down.
     
    Tommy Biggs likes this.

  3. popthree

    popthree Poster Extraordinaire

    i really did not want this thread to become about my music, but i guess it's naive of me to think that it would not come up.

    here are a couple of tunes that i wrote and recorded at home in 2017

    http://thebonanzalunchbox.bandcamp.com/
     
    Skub likes this.

  4. AJ Love

    AJ Love Friend of Leo's

    Age:
    52
    Jul 10, 2005
    Madison WI
    Those are song lyrics, man! Keep writing THAT
     

  5. kelnet

    kelnet Telefied Ad Free Member

    Apr 17, 2008
    Port Moody, BC
    But this thread is entirely about your music. You said that you feel like giving up on your music.

    "i'm feeling very much like selling all but one acoustic and just forgetting about music, songwriting, and all that."​
     

  6. popthree

    popthree Poster Extraordinaire

    yes, its about my struggle regarding feelings towards my music and a thought of giving up on it all, forgetting it, just turning the page, and wondering if other people here struggle with this type of thinking... and a hope that maybe i can learn from others who have experienced the same type of thinking and emotions regarding their passion.. .how they dealt with it,etc...
     

  7. JazzboxBlues

    JazzboxBlues Tele-Holic

    956
    Dec 6, 2014
    Crook County IL
    Maybe you just need to put it down for awhile. I thought I was done early last year. I just wasn’t going anywhere fast and a whole bunch of other things in life came up. Then I started getting the itch to play my guitar. I pulled it out and have come up with a whole new clearer plan and desire.
     

  8. Uncle Bob

    Uncle Bob Tele-Meister

    302
    Mar 5, 2017
    West Virginia
    I feel like moving in next door when you do that. Just to mess with you.

    Just kidding.

    I've felt that way for years now but don't want to let other people down.

    I either dreamed of, or saw somewhere, a small little house with a small flower bed on either side of the front step. It looked to be 4 rooms at most. I can't get it out of my mind, to be honest, even sitting here in this brick rancher with the other one I own next door. I really can't figure out how I got here.
     

  9. charlie chitlin

    charlie chitlin Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

    Age:
    56
    Mar 17, 2003
    Spring City, Pa
    Even I know how you got there.
    It's right in your signature.
     
    Uncle Bob likes this.

  10. chris m.

    chris m. Poster Extraordinaire

    Briggs mentioned his 9 year old's letter to Santa Claus. My take on that is she just wanted more time with Daddy, and so she was jealous of Daddy's time on the guitar-- not that it was a comment on his talent level.

    popthree, my only suggestion would be to mix it up a bit as others have mentioned. I got frustrated by the whole band grind so I started playing 3rd clarinet in a regional band. It was a ton of fun and great to only have to show
    up and play. There was a conductor, someone else organized the rehearsals and gigs, etc. It was just a great way to enjoy playing music with others.

    I think the whole singer/songwriter thing can be a bit lonely at the best of times. I like the advice of playing with other musicians, in addition to perhaps doing songwriter's workshops, etc.

    I also strongly agree with the comment that marketing is a major factor. If you design music to appeal to a specific target audience and then promote the heck out of it using social media and all available tools then
    the likelihood of getting lots of "likes" from a lot of people is much higher. To make an analogy, some people write literature, other people write best sellers. Literature can sometimes be a best seller, but the approach
    to writing a best seller is to have thought through the marketing aspects of it first. That said, all the greatest bands, like all the greatest literature, had a vision in mind that was unique and creative and didn't just
    follow the herd. The very best and most successful bands are good at both-- creating truly new, exciting music-- but also successfully promoting and reaching a large demographic that is hungry for what they are creating.

    The only other suggestion I could make is to come up with a handful of specific goals. Then come up with some specific, realistic game plans for achieving those goals, getting input from experts as needed. Make those goals
    fairly different. Then pursue your goals and be happy if you can achieve one or two of them and make concrete progress on the others. Research shows that humans tend to feel happier when they can see measurable
    progress towards their goals.

    My goals would be different from yours. Mine might be as simple as:

    - play Christmas carols with family and friends and have fun doing it.
    - play with my band once every couple weeks, gig about once a month, and have fun doing it no matter how many show up at the gig or what I get paid.
    - sit down and try to learn a new lick or theory tidbit at least once a week.
    - learn a new song at least once a month.

    -- but all of these goals are achievable for me, for the most part, and I can track my progress towards them.
     

  11. Telecasterless

    Telecasterless Tele-Afflicted

    Jan 29, 2011
    los angeles
    I don't think it has to be about "more than that". I don't know if you are looking for opinions on the subject or if for you personally "it has to be more than that". If the latter, well, that's how you feel and unless you change your thought pattern about it, you won't be content.

    If you're asking globally, I think it means different things to different folks, and other folks will be content with what you've described.

    I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be a "musician". It's just not in me. I have amateur friends who sing better than me and play guitar better than me. I will leave only this one caveat to the foregoing, and that is, if I truly set myself out to work harder at guitar and take lessons, and focus, I recognize I could become a much better player. Until I decide to this though, I reserve judgment about my overall skill set, and thus I don't beat myself up too hard. If and when I decide to commit, then I can judge. Can you at least allow yourself this as well? And forgive yourself if you have not committed fully?

    I am content with what I can do for now. Do I want to be much better? Yes. Did I make the effort to be much better? No. So then is there a realistic reason for me to be down on myself? No. Do I get down on myself about it sometimes or often? Yes. Then I have to remember that I am really not making enough effort, and I forgive myself.

    I suffer from some form of depression. It manifests itself in many ways and seeps into the corners of my life. Sometimes playing guitar keeps it at bay, sometimes it aggravates it. As with many of us, the big D will always be something we have to manage in our lives in many different ways.

    Ultimately, I can play some tunes and make people happy. Over xmas I was at a party with a bunch of adults and kids. The hostess had bought her husband a guitar awhile back. It was a nice Taylor sitting in a lonely stand, never played once. Out of tune for years. I picked it up and she asked me to play it. Everyone was drinking and in a good mood, and the women just wanted to sing anything. I don't have a huge repertoire, but I can hammer out some songs. Next thing you know, I was the life of the party and everyone was loving it and dancing and singing along. I even grabbed my iphone and googled up chords for a few songs people requested, like "Imagine" which all the girls love, especially over xmas. It didn't matter that I am not the world's best guitarist, and that the songs were absolutely simple even for me, but my wife said I got so many compliments on my playing and the hostess was beaming that someone was playing the guitar and entertaining everyone. It's times like that which make me feel good about playing guitar. Nothing fancy, but no one cared, just music and fun.
     
    P Thought likes this.

  12. Arafel

    Arafel Tele-Meister

    105
    Oct 19, 2011
    Denver
    I can sympathize. I was ready to pack it in when my band blew up in the spring. I love the music we create, and for a few weeks, it looked like we were done, and I thought I would never want to play again.

    Then I bought a Swart AST Jr. and started practicing, to rejolt what I hear, and then the bass player came back, and we got a new drummer, and before we knew it we had all sorts of gigs lined up.

    Try to find something that can make you rethink your perspective. It may mean taking a short break, but don't quit!
     

  13. Uncle Bob

    Uncle Bob Tele-Meister

    302
    Mar 5, 2017
    West Virginia
    Well you got me there
     

  14. El Tele Lobo

    El Tele Lobo Friend of Leo's

    Oct 21, 2014
    Florida
    Yes. I offer my condolences also. Quite a beautiful response you wrote also.
     
    1955 likes this.

  15. El Tele Lobo

    El Tele Lobo Friend of Leo's

    Oct 21, 2014
    Florida
    Sorry. I meant to reply here. I also offer my condolences for your loss. And I applaud your absolutely beautiful reply above. God bless, 1955.
     
    1955 likes this.

  16. Lobomov

    Lobomov Friend of Leo's

    Jul 15, 2013
    Europa
    Yeah there more .. you left out the part about having a large guitar collection that puts a smile on your face every time you look at it.

    I gave up on other people a long time ago. I just enjoy having guitars and the possibility of playing them .. at times intensely every day and at times not at all for months :)
     

  17. jvin248

    jvin248 Poster Extraordinaire

    Apr 18, 2014
    Near Detroit, MI
    .

    I got to your point with writing, not music writing, the fiction book thing. I wrote hard and strong for over twenty titles and put it all away about two years ago. The one series keeps tapping out melody to tug at me. It's more often on my mind. I'll be back at it soon.

    It is the long days of night now, post holidays, cold, and depression is a constant scratching at the window.

    Downsizing the guitar fleet is kind of freeing. If me I'd keep the acoustic and an electric plus some way to make noise. The electric is why I play. A few weeks and the seed catalogs will show up and a few weeks after that the first big snow melt.

    You'll be back soon.

    .
     

  18. william tele

    william tele Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Nov 7, 2009
    Kansas City, MO
    I made one reply earlier. It was before I didn't know you didn't want to hear any feedback on your abilities. I originally only referenced your tagline site to hear your songs. I made a comment about the lack of choruses and confirmed another listener's observation that the songs were somewhat repetitious...similar to a background track for a movie.

    I later found your songs in Twanger Central and were not what I'd heard originally. I liked them and noticed that others did too.

    I don't see the problem. If you're waiting for someone to offer you a recording contract based on Facebook and Twanger Central then you might have to wait quite a bit longer.
     

  19. LKB3rd

    LKB3rd Friend of Leo's

    Jan 10, 2013
    CT
    I quit entirely for about 5 or 6 years. I never consciously said "I quit" I just slowly stopped playing.
    If it's getting you down, definitely scale it back and do a reset at least. Try a new direction maybe. Like acoustic since you mentioned scaling it to that only.
    Play stuff that YOU like, forget what anyone else thinks. The thing about that is, you'll do a better rendition of stuff you like anyway, so others tend to respond to that too. But just think about you for now I'd say.
    If you took a total break for a period I wouldn't think it was the end of the world either, you can start back up whenever you feel like it.
     

  20. I know the feeling guys, trouble is it ain't just limited to the guitar. I never get the guitar out anymore, and if i do it's for 3 minutes and by then i'm bored.

    Used to love reading my monthly guitar magazines, i still get them but i never even finish a whole page. Seriously one page in the whole mag if i'm lucky.

    Same with books, it's years since i read a book, just can't concentrate long enough, two paragraphs and i'm done. Like wise films, i stick a film on but if i manage to pay attention to the whole things it's a miracle.

    Don't know what's wrong with me, but by the sound of things i'm not the only one.
     
    P Thought likes this.

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