Dreamed I went over on the other side, and then made a u turn.

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Toto'sDad, Jun 24, 2019.

  1. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    So, here's the deal. I was out mowing the lawn, and didn't see some sort of piece of tin lying on the ground, BOOM I hit it with the lawn mower and the object turned into a projectile hitting me at the solar plexus and going deep into my body. Before you know it, I was as dead as a post about Oprah Winfrey.

    My wife finally quit watching the Home and Garden channel long enough to call the authorities and have me trundled away. Since she had a few things to do, she didn't get right down to the hospital and sign off on me being dead. WHICH proved to be a very good thing for me! Before they could cut me open like a watermelon and do an autopsy, I woke up stark naked in the morgue and the projectile stuck in my solar plexus had been miraculously removed, and only a little wound remained which was about the size of an appendectomy scar.

    I hailed a passing orderly who loaned me a bed sheet, gave me a cup of coffee, and the use of his cell phone. I called Alex and told him to get momma down here pronto. She showed up somewhat reluctantly with a bunch of expired term life insurance papers sticking out of her purse and I rode on home. How the TDPRI knew I haven't a clue, but apparently they knew I had kicked the bucket and when I tried logging onto the Bad Dog, they said nothing doing bubba old TD went and killed hisowndamnedself with a piece of tin and a lawn mower.

    No matter, I was busy for weeks on the daytime television show circuit telling of my experience of going on over to the other side and making a U turn. Since I didn't really remember a whole lot about it, some fiction may have been involved. Needless to say, even a story about being dead and coming back to life has a short shelf life, and pretty soon even Oprah quit calling, and there I was one day, back mowing the lawn where the whole thing got started. Which brings me to the present, it's Monday, and lawn mowing day! I'm gonna check pretty carefully for any debris that might be lying around loose.
     
  2. thunderbyrd

    thunderbyrd Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    I wondered a little about my own sanity when I made a fantasy post about tony iommi and keith Richards dropping by my house to hang out, but I see now I am easily eclipsed in the nutty department.

    I like the detail about the cup of coffee.

    oh, wait, now I get it - this is a dream you had. uh, nevermind.
     
  3. teletimetx

    teletimetx Poster Extraordinaire

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    I don't sell insurance. Nope, just wouldn't be prudent.

    It does remind me that my lawnmower blade prolly needs sharpening. Got a little pathway made of flat rocks in the backyard and sometimes, krang, I shave a little bit of rock off the top.

    Might want to check whats in your coffee...
     
  4. soulman969

    soulman969 Telefied Ad Free Member

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    LOL......I'm glad you booked a round trip ticket TD. :D
     
  5. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Me too! :)
     
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  6. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    So, no banned content to report from the other side?

    Or did you leave that part out to avoid getting banned?

    I think you can say stuff like bright light or floating as long as you don't report on the G word...
     
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  7. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Honestly, I didn't think a whole lot about it, I do know I wasn't frightened at any time. It's just like when you need to take a whiz, when ya gotta go, you gotta go! I don't think you can get it wrong, when it's time to check out, well, you do!
     
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  8. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    You know I kind of felt sorry for Little Bill though, you know he was building a house until Mr. Munny came along.
     
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  9. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    One thing about being dead, one dead guy, is no deader than another.
     
  10. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    After a lot of consideration, I've finally decided to go ahead and tell you what I really saw on the other side. You know how people say old Merle is up there playing and singing up on that grand stage, and his audience is loving him? Well what I actually saw was people setting around at little tables in wicker chairs for miles and miles as far as the eye could see playing Tiddledy Winks! Who knew?

    upload_2019-6-24_9-32-43.jpeg
     
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  11. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Ohhhhhhhhh Noooooooooo!

    I'm gonna start workin' on goin' to hell right now!

    Damn, to think of all the sinnin' I missed out on hopin' to get into heaven!
     
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  12. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    You needn't be too hasty in making your decision, they did seem to be enjoying their game immensely!
     
  13. TheGoodTexan

    TheGoodTexan Moderator Staff Member Ad Free Member

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    I wonder what map he played in that banned?

    Probably a Dumbbell.
     
  14. geoff_in_nc

    geoff_in_nc Friend of Leo's

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    I think the lesson I'm taking away from this is that a manicured lawn will kill you and it's better (much!) to let it grow shaggy. I can get behind a moral like that!
     
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  15. Mike Eskimo

    Mike Eskimo Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    If you have not sold the movie rights to your story , I would love to be in the running/possibly take a meeting.

    While I love your original experience, I’m thinking we could punch it up a little . You could be a 10 yr old boy, instead of a piece of junk, you could fall through the ice at the Bakersfield Minnesota city pond and while under you could see and have a conversation with your PopPop (your mom’s Papaw) and he still has his old pocket watch, blah, blah, blah...

    You get the gist.

    Right now, as I’m sure you know, these stories are like a license to print money TD.

    Alright - I’m excited ! This is is gonna be great .

    I don’t want to get ahead of ourselves here but I know Jen Garner’s people and - well , let’s just see...

    Love to the Mrs and Alex !

    Buh-bye !
     
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  16. verb boten

    verb boten Tele-Meister

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    ....and set him off. :eek:
     
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  17. RedTele58

    RedTele58 Tele-Meister

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    Well... After reading the header I was expecting a different kind of other side, so I'm kinda glad the story was like it was. Otherwise it might have been TMI...
     
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  18. Paul in Colorado

    Paul in Colorado Telefied Ad Free Member

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    You haven't been cleaning up any old Buchla Synthesizers lately have you?
     
  19. beach bob

    beach bob Friend of Leo's

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    TD, I do enjoy your stories very much. You have a talent for spinning an interesting tale...

    Maybe you should consider writing as a career option? I know a few writers; they make several dollars at a time!
    :D
     
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  20. Andy B

    Andy B Tele-Afflicted Gold Supporter

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    Wow!
     
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