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Am I the only person whose had a urinary catheter?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by 3-Chord-Genius, Nov 9, 2017.

  1. src9000

    src9000 Poster Extraordinaire

    A few years ago, I got a bladder scooping.

    Here's my story.

    It started like a doctor's office fantasy, with a pretty nurse telling me to undress and lay down.
    Things quickly went bad when she holds up a giant Q-tip and says this is going to tingle.
    As she's jamming it in, I tell her it's not tingling, it's burning. She says that means it's working.

    Then the doctor comes in and proceeds to shove what feels like a garden hose down. I didn't see what it was since my eye were shut tight the whole time. Then, I'm sure he lowered an old style vhs camera into me. Wasn't the burning toilet brush was supposed to kill the pain?

    At some point, I felt wetness beneath me. I was embarrassed, thinking I urinated in front of the doctor and nurse.
    Then I got angry when I realized one of them must have turned water on in the garden hose.

    There was more pain after that.

    As I was limping out of the room, I thought about leaving a 20 dollar bill. But I had lost my sense of humor.
     
    william tele and xafinity like this.

  2. imwjl

    imwjl Poster Extraordinaire

    I had some surgery where the nurse was somehow surprised by it the catheter being not what she was used to and bigger than usual - not length.

    My first mistake was choosing to go home when I could have had the dilauded drip. The spinal block was not worn off. I didn't know what would happen with each bump in the road as it wore off.

    When it could come out I learned I had to go to the hospital 45 min away but that office was closed in 30. I don't know if I could have even handled the drive if it were closer.

    Against the directions, unable to consider wearing that thing for two more days and desperate I had my own solution. I don't like the oxy pain med but it was miserable. When time for another dose I added a shot of tequila. A little while later it was man up time and take matters into my own hands.

    Tough stuff. I really needed the bladder surgery and appreciated the prostate fix. Wow the months leading up to it all were miserable and same for the 48 hours after.

    The year of that, stronger eye glasses and a broken tooth all had me understanding why we only used to live a few decades.

    :)

    P.S. If you can choose your doctor or clinic. There was scoping before the surgery every happened. The doctor I liked best had the sagacity to prescribe a single diazapam with instructions to be max relaxed for your drop off and pick up time. That had to make it easier on all parties involved.
     

  3. 3-Chord-Genius

    3-Chord-Genius Friend of Leo's

    Apr 3, 2015
    Winchester, VA
    On a related note, I had surgery to blast a kidney stone apart with a laser a few years ago. They left a stent in the ureter to keep it from swelling shut, with a string hanging out of my ding ding. I was told to wait 6 days, then pull it out. The doctor told me not to do it like I was trying to start a chainsaw. I could not bring myself to pull that thing out, so I went back to the doctor to have him do it. It felt like 9 feet of razor wire.
     
    suthol likes this.

  4. DavidP

    DavidP Tele-Afflicted

    Mar 16, 2003
    Vancouver, BC
    Thanks to the OP for bringing back bad memories -- I don't want to to revisit it...
     
    Toto'sDad likes this.

  5. 3-Chord-Genius

    3-Chord-Genius Friend of Leo's

    Apr 3, 2015
    Winchester, VA
    Me neither. I don't know what I was thinking. I'd rather die than go through that again.
     

  6. Snook

    Snook Tele-Meister

    271
    Sep 17, 2015
    Ohio
    They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger..... but I don't believe it.

    My urologist wanted a specimen.... when I couldn't produce one they announced they were gonna cath me.... I left and never went back. They'd kept me waiting for over an hour.... I could have drank a gallon of water if they'd said something earlier.
     

  7. Bill

    Bill Poster Extraordinaire Ad Free Member

    Mar 16, 2003
    London
    I'm in. Had double kidney stone surgery a few weeks ago. Turns out there's something worse than the cystoscopy, stent removal, or catheter. And that's when they pull the drainage tube that's currently deep inside your kidney out through the hole they cut in your back.
     

  8. 3-Chord-Genius

    3-Chord-Genius Friend of Leo's

    Apr 3, 2015
    Winchester, VA
    That sounds pretty horrible.
     

  9. ac15

    ac15 Poster Extraordinaire Ad Free Member

    May 9, 2005
    CHICAGO, IL.
    “Crank”? Nice!
     
    3-Chord-Genius likes this.

  10. ac15

    ac15 Poster Extraordinaire Ad Free Member

    May 9, 2005
    CHICAGO, IL.
    One of the guys in my band had a catheter for awhile, and kept putting off the surgery that would have allowed him to stop using it. So he had it long enough where he started getting used to it, and one day admitted “I’m starting to like this thing.”
     

  11. blowtorch

    blowtorch Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    May 2, 2003
    Wisco
    wow. you guys will talk about ANYthing, won't you?

    :rolleyes:

    Honestly not sure that I wanna hang out in a place where this kind of thing is casually discussed.
    If that makes me a prude, or a dick, I'm pretty much ok with that. (And yes, I'm aware that I started a thread about doing the cologuard thing.)

    I mean, I'm sure there are online support groups for this kind of thing (somewhere else), right?
     

  12. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

    Jun 21, 2011
    Bakersfield
    When the nurse pulled my catheter out it was lucky for me that a doc was on duty that knew how to put my feet and rearend back in the correct order when they came out with the catheter.
     
    suthol and src9000 like this.

  13. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

    Jun 21, 2011
    Bakersfield
    Yet you did.
     

  14. 3-Chord-Genius

    3-Chord-Genius Friend of Leo's

    Apr 3, 2015
    Winchester, VA
    Four pages of various people putting their own twist on my worst nightmare.
     

  15. 3-Chord-Genius

    3-Chord-Genius Friend of Leo's

    Apr 3, 2015
    Winchester, VA
    Oh... that has to be the single most screwed-up thing I've ever heard!!!! LOL....
     

  16. william tele

    william tele Doctor of Teleocity

    Nov 7, 2009
    Kansas City, MO
    Please. I haven't read one word on this thread and I know posting here to ask you to let this thread die is really a conundrum...but it physically hurts me every time I read the header that includes the words "urinary catheter".

    Maybe if the those words were separated. Urinary....and catheter. They sound fairly harmless when separated...but together? Kind of like arterial laceration. On their own they aren't so gritty...

    Anyway...be a pal and stop the insanity.
     
    3-Chord-Genius and blowtorch like this.

  17. Allen Peterson

    Allen Peterson Tele-Meister

    218
    Sep 15, 2016
    Katy, Texas
    Yeah, maybe we could switch and talk about rectal exams next.
     
    3-Chord-Genius likes this.

  18. Hammerdog

    Hammerdog Tele-Meister Ad Free + Supporter

    Age:
    68
    138
    Mar 26, 2016
    Texas
    Yeah........ah...nooooooo....ill pass
     

  19. bluesky1963

    bluesky1963 Tele-Meister

    Age:
    54
    285
    Apr 1, 2011
    Glendale, AZ
    Three times. I've had three surgeries for various back issues. Never can pee after I come out from under the anesthesia, they've had to catheterize me every time to get me going.
     

  20. jaybones

    jaybones Tele-Afflicted

    Yeah I've had them. Never was awake for the insertion. Usually woke up with them already in.

    Unless you get a nurse who only opens the valve on the balloon on a Foley catheter, doesn't deflate it but gives it a very firm yank. Lifted my hips off the bed, and I had blood dripping out the end.

    Hurt when I peed for the next day or two.

    My mother is a retired registered nurse, and when she saw the bloody urinal asked why. I told her, and she said that was the absolute wrong way to do it.

    She also raised a fuss about how often they were changing my IV sites (at least once a shift, and both arms were covered with bruises). Never infiltrated or blocked.

    I was in their psych ward after shooting myself in the head, and there was zero therapy. In there longer than 2 months, and my psychiatrist would wake me up at 6 am every morning (with a group of med students or interns) and say "How's your mood today?"

    I'd answer my mood is tired. Come back when I'm awake. Once even raised my voice and told him to GTHO.

    Stopped being my doctor after that.
     

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