Lovely, Things Blew Up At Church

goldtopper · January 12th, 2009, 06:11 AM

We've been going to a Church for two years. We became members after 9 months and joined the worship team.
Our church is very small- 60 people on a Sunday is BIG.
Our worship leader recently resigned because of differences between him, and his "team" vs. organist.
Our worship team was comprised of about 8 people, including me as the sole guitarist and my very talented wife as a singer. The group has been together for about 10 years and has been less than welcoming. It's like walking into someone else's family reunion.
For the past several weeks, we've not gotten any calls for rehearsals, and low and behold, there they are on Sunday singing.
This last Sunday was our leader's last day with a big festival service. After about 10 people coming up and asking why we weren't playing, my wife was brought to tears. She was so broken hearted we couldn't even teach Sunday School and left after the service.
While leaving, one of the Worship Committee ladies came over and said to my wife "I just heard that...blah blah blah".
My wife explained that she felt unwelcome and she was hurt deeply because this is the best way for her to use her gifts to serve the Lord. She felt constantly excluded, had brought new pieces to rehearsals, they were never worked on, and was always told "we're doing these songs, and the way we've always done them and a 1, 2, 3 go..."
How in the heck do we know "the way you've always done them?".
She was so sad last night, felt misled, unwanted and betrayed.

A new leader starts next week and the Pastor's wife (who is a wonderful woman) said not to worry, several of these people will be leaving because they only come to sing anyway and that things will change.
At this point, anything we'd be involved in would feel patronizing and that we'd be "thrown a bone"; due to our small congregation, we are sure gossip has spread.

So what do we do? Our kids love the Church and our daughter is midway through Confirmation.

We both feel it is so important to set a good example for our kids and everyone else's. We also love to glorify God through music and think it is our calling to serve Him in that manner. We don't feel "complete" if we can't spread His word through P & W.

Help!

nosuch · January 12th, 2009, 06:28 AM

What a sad story.

Carzee · January 12th, 2009, 06:44 AM

Been here, done that.

I was hurting, but then I sub-contracted the hurt up the chain of command. Command likes it that way too.

The problem with churches is that they allow people in.
People can be a PITA. Some have me wonder if they are.. no, scratch all that. Sorry.

In reality, people are wunderful and nearly always a pleasure to be 'round, fun even. But its the castle building they all get up to that causes all the friction.

WallyArms · January 12th, 2009, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goldtopper

So what do we do? Our kids love the Church and our daughter is midway through Confirmation.

We both feel it is so important to set a good example for our kids and everyone else's. We also love to glorify God through music and think it is our calling to serve Him in that manner. We don't feel "complete" if we can't spread His word through P & W.

Help!

If you feel called to serve in music ministry, I would get right back in there if they ask you to be a part of the "new" team. This may be the Lord's way of making a more welcome place for you on the team.

If it were me, I would ask when rehearsal is.

Tim Armstrong · January 12th, 2009, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carzee

Been here, done that.

I was hurting, but then I sub-contracted the hurt up the chain of command. Command likes it that way too.

The problem with churches is that they allow people in.
People can be a PITA. Some have me wonder if they are.. no, scratch all that. Sorry.

In reality, people are wunderful and nearly always a pleasure to be 'round, fun even. But its the castle building they all get up to that causes all the friction.

That's just what I was gonna say.

I'd also say that the only possible way to deal with such a situation is to be Christ-like (and that's coming from a quasi-Buddhist!), to utterly forgive those who've wronged you and also let go of any ego you've attached to your own contributions, and to start again fresh, with no expectations but a desire to contribute whatever you can...

Tim

twangcaster1 · January 12th, 2009, 01:10 PM

If you feel that it is a calling, then it is not something that you should allow gossip to affect. It is for God that you do it, not the gossipy, self-righteous people who are trying to make you uncomfortable and "nudge" you out of the picture. If you want to serve God, do it. Play and continue to do it with a smile on your face for that one soul in the audience that you may touch with the spirit. The lord says that the worth of one sould is infinite and God's joy is great and he is pleased with you if you can bring unto him even so much as one soul. With that in mind, WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE SAY!?! Don't let people's attitudes or opinions keep you from fulfilling your callings and pursuing things that you desire. That's my $0.02.

Durtdog · January 12th, 2009, 01:13 PM

Wow, I guess the same junk goes on with church bands as bar bands. Too bad.

Ptrallan01 · January 12th, 2009, 04:00 PM

Sounds like home! I've been through a very similar thing in a small church. Wanted to quit, had another place picked out, prayed about it and stayed. Still here 12 years later.

Don't quit until you see what comes with the new leader. The rest of the church seems to fit you and your family. Give your wife my prayers and wait. It will become obvious which direction to go when you see how the new situation shakes out.

Often we go through theses situations so that when someone else goes through them we can help them with our experience.

Hope it all works out for you.

lioncommandking · January 12th, 2009, 04:05 PM

It is said that Satan was God's worship leader in heaven. If that were so wouldn't he be out raged that God has given that position to a mere man! This is why I think we have so much trouble in music an worship. Surely music is a gift to be desired. So you will be opposed in many musical situations. (even bar bands) Get back in and worship God and let Him do whatever else needs to be done!

getbent · January 12th, 2009, 04:08 PM

talk to your pastor quietly and man to man. Let him provide a solution for you. Turn yourself over to your flock leader and respect his advice and counsel and then lead your family toward his solution. Whether or not you continue to be in the pw band is only a detail of the instruction you will be given. Give it 6 months. Focus on being led by your pastor and by the spirit that brought you there in the first place.

goldtopper · January 12th, 2009, 06:17 PM

Thank you all friends.
I love this place! You've taken away some of the hurt and given me a sense of serenity and clarity.

patl · January 12th, 2009, 07:53 PM

I love what getbent said - as a former pastor, I really value the respect that this shows, to sit down and talk about a difficult issue with the person who's in the role of leading the church as a community. That's way better than simply disappearing, as much as it hurts right now.

Grace and peace to you in these tough times.

giantslayer · January 12th, 2009, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by patl

I love what getbent said - as a former pastor, I really value the respect that this shows, to sit down and talk about a difficult issue with the person who's in the role of leading the church as a community. That's way better than simply disappearing, as much as it hurts right now.

Grace and peace to you in these tough times.

+1 to what both of them said. I've found that, when I just take in what I see and let that brood inside of me, it always goes sour. Talking directly to someone like that is usually good and almost never as bad as I imagine it being in my bitter mind.

Lathem · January 13th, 2009, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tim Armstrong

I'd also say that the only possible way to deal with such a situation is to be Christ-like (and that's coming from a quasi-Buddhist!), to utterly forgive those who've wronged you and also let go of any ego you've attached to your own contributions, and to start again fresh, with no expectations but a desire to contribute whatever you can...

Wise words.

Quote:

Originally Posted by goldtopper

We also love to glorify God through music and think it is our calling to serve Him in that manner. We don't feel "complete" if we can't spread His word through P & W.

Respectfully, you might want to think about that statement. I say this from the perspective of someone who has often confused "service" with feeding his own ego (and who undoubtedly will do so again).

I firmly believe that if you are truly "called" to do something the opportunity will present itself. Meanwhile, you can look at this as an opportunity to practice patience, graciousness, and humility--qualities we all lack at one time or another.

Jakeboy · February 27th, 2009, 10:37 AM

+1 what Getbent said.....as a former pastor I assure you he speaks wisdom.

Robbied_216 · March 2nd, 2009, 12:09 AM

Honouring your pastors advice and guidance is really important here. At the end of the day, our foundations in Christ aren't built upon our ability to lead worship. What we bring is just a tiny speck compared to what Christ brings into the equation. Like some of the others have said, see this as an opportunity to build character. There is always going to be attitudes and gossips whenever "people" are involved in the equation, cause unfortunately we are still living in our flesh. But just make sure you don't let that define your security in Christ...take a deep breath, hand it over to Christ, honour his authority (and his delegated authority), and let him do in the situation what he needs to do. He could maybe be doing some work in the hearts of the others around you, and need to position you in a particular place in order for him to do what he needs to do....

I hope this has encouraged you, and I apologise if it hasn't.

NewGuy410 · March 2nd, 2009, 12:59 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
I've played in a few praise bands and I've had friends in similar situations.
Its very hard to present new ideas to people who have been doing it one way for so long.

I think this transition to a new leader could be a good opportunity to maybe have a time that everyone in the band could sit and discuss their thoughts on how the team can improve. Perhaps someone else in the band also feels like they're being left out.

If you feel wronged then you could go by what Christ says in Matthew 18:15. I also agree with getbent. To talk it over with someone (i.e. pastor, close friend) in love, not gossip and see what the Bible has to say about it. And of course, pray about it.

Also, if you feel so passionately about worship music and its ministry, perhaps you could find another forum for it. Maybe some where outside of the church walls. I think you may be able to better "spread His Word" that way.

Just remember that worship is all about Him, and that its way more than songs on a Sunday morning.

mralmostpopular · March 3rd, 2009, 06:59 AM

It always amazes me how some people can (and do) act in the church. They'll act like bratty children with big egos and then think that they're saved and they're following Christ. The truth is, most Christians aren't really very Christian at all.

I've actually encountered a similar (slightly worse) situation of my own, but I don't let it stop me. You just have to remember that you are there for Christ (not for recognition, or to entertain), and if you're supposed to be up there, you will be. Just make sure not to turn away from it because other people want to have their egos.

As Latham said, though, you must be mindful of your own personal reasons for being up there. Not feeling "complete" without doing the music can be a dangerous path to go down. Being "called" really shouldn't be about feeling complete or incomplete, it's about God using you for His own purpose, irrelevant of what you want. If God wants you there, He'll put you there.

COAHplayer · March 3rd, 2009, 01:05 PM

"Not feeling "complete" without doing the music can be a dangerous path to go down."

So true. While we may be given the time and talent to learn and play you must realize that people go to church and get involved for many reasons, often very far removed from serving Christ.

dconeill · March 3rd, 2009, 01:50 PM

You were fired, by a group that couldn't bring itself to be straightforward and plainspoken about it. That's never pleasant. Moreover, I'm guessing you won't get a straight answer about **why** you were fired, either, since the group seems to have a track record of prevarication. Maybe you transgressed in some way, or maybe they just don't want any new members - you'll probably never know.

You should feel unwanted, because you are, by that group. Based on what you say they are a core group, together many years, and they don't want to accomodate newcomers.

What the minister's wife had to say sounds like an attempt to salve your feelings with no actual content, but you can never tell. Wait and see what happens.

But I think you're going to have to make some choices. What's more important, your feelings that you and your wife are called to a P&W ministry with consequent frustration if you can't do that in your current congregation, or your children's love of the parish and their religious education? This is one of those situations where no available solution is optimal in all ways. I think you're going to have to face the possibility that if you remain in that church that you'll be locked out of the P&W group.

Sigh. Even people in religious communities who profess the love of God are, alas, people, with all their contrariness and selfishness and pig-headedness and misguidedness. Being "saved" (or whatever term you like) doesn't seem to innoculate people against normal human cussedness. Sometimes I think the world would be better off without us, though that would be personally inconvenient to billions. But that's just because I'm a crusty old fart.

Good luck, hope the situation works out as well as it can.

Parma_TeleMon · March 5th, 2009, 12:55 PM

Much here, my brother. Plenty of good advice, including talking with your pastor. If you don't already, spend some time praying through the situation and hurt with your wife - she probably needs that from you.

If you serve from a need to feed your ego instead of fulfilling a sense of calling you'll know - I feel like a prostitute when I do that, and it really grieves my heart badly. Heck, it just plain hurts.

Finding where and how to serve can be tough sometimes, esp. in a small, closed body of believers. I've been going to our fellowship around 5 years and have just recently had a chance to play as we have a wealth of musicians. I have, however, been serving behind the mixing console faithfully. I like to think my job is to remove technical impediments to people's worship (including team/band members).

My heart breaks for you and your wife. Keep seeking, keep knocking, keep asking....

ce24 · April 17th, 2009, 06:12 PM

Do they allow "special" music during worship? You and your wife could work up some praise and worship songs and do them as specials during the service.

ce24

Parma_TeleMon · April 18th, 2009, 12:34 PM

CE24, thanks for reviving this thread. And that sounds like a GREAT idea. Also, if the church does small groups leading worship in a small group works too.

gitold · April 18th, 2009, 10:46 PM

I was the old guy that could actually play his instrument and had a little taste as far as volume goes but the youth won and I bowed out .What a great forum this is that's all I have to say.

charlie chitlin · April 19th, 2009, 04:07 PM

Look inside yourself for the answer.
God is there.
That's why He came to earth...so He could be inside all of us.
Anybody who gets between you and God is just watering down the Word and claiming to be closer to Him than you are.
Do the inner work.
The answer is there.

twangus · April 19th, 2009, 04:19 PM

Just remember, in all things God is in control.

Sometimes we want to put ourselves and what we perceive as our needs in front and we forget about the reason we are there...to praise him. You will surely get to use your talents, and everything will work out. Have faith.

Southern Ill Electrics · April 20th, 2009, 11:24 PM

I agree with what CE22 suggests....we have specials both services on Sun. From our Youth Group to whom ever else be it in the pews...the Pastor....little ones....whomever.Always works for us.....everyone on our prasie team is involved....and more times than not you'll get a great testimony at the end.....and then that leads to another 3-4 Worship songs....another Altar call...and more fellowship....once you start labeling things as far as "Worship team leader" it will almost always end badly.....I love my church....I am truly blessed....no egos or aganda or and please no disrespect the castle building or nonsense that comes with it......

GOD is good...All the time/All the time...GOD is good!!!

Wanker · April 22nd, 2009, 03:47 PM

Hope you got things worked out.

Parma_TeleMon · April 22nd, 2009, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gitold

I was the old guy that could actually play his instrument and had a little taste as far as volume goes but the youth won and I bowed out .What a great forum this is that's all I have to say.

Sorry to hear you bowed out. My team is pretty interesting - the worship leader is a 19 year-old female. The Backup singers are all under 25, and among the rest of us (drums, acoustic, electric) I'm the youngest of the bunch. Hehhehheh. The nice thing is that nobody really seems to care.

gitold · April 23rd, 2009, 02:21 AM

Parma,people were actually leaving the building because the music was too loud (older people) but this church had a pretty strong youth ministry.There were no hard feelings.I was 20 once to .

krauser2 · April 23rd, 2009, 02:31 AM

I went to church once that told me I was going to hell because I didnt put money in the basket.

It was my 3rd sunday there.

Sometimes people suck even at a place you would least expect it.

Southern Ill Electrics · April 23rd, 2009, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krauser2

I went to church once that told me I was going to hell because I didnt put money in the basket.

It was my 3rd sunday there.

Sometimes people suck even at a place you would least expect it.

Be Always searching.....always praying.You'll find the right church.

And I don't believe your going to hell for not dropping some $ in the basket.
But don't let this be a tool of the devil....Keep the faith.

dale_c · April 23rd, 2009, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krauser2

I went to church once that told me I was going to hell because I didnt put money in the basket.

It was my 3rd sunday there.

Sometimes people suck even at a place you would least expect it.

It was hearing things like this that really soured me on the church and religion in general when I was growing up. That all changed a little over a year ago when some neighbors that lived down the street from us (whom we had never met) knocked on our door and invited us to their church which just so happened to be about 4 blocks up the street. It is in an industrial complex so we never even knew it was there. We went the following Sunday and have been there every Sunday since. Finding "the right church" has really made a profound change on me. I went from being fairly agnostic (admittedly from my own ignorance) to being pretty heavily involved in my church. I hope you are able to find "the right" church for you.

twangus · April 24th, 2009, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krauser2

I went to church once that told me I was going to hell because I didnt put money in the basket.

That is just so ridiculous. You tithe from your heart, and it is no one else's business. Period. Your personal sacrifice is your own business. To have someone else try to call you on it blows my mind.

I hope after walking away from that place as quick as you could you were able to find the right church for yourself.

Wanker · April 28th, 2009, 05:44 PM

I would love the ministry if it weren't for the people.

charlie chitlin · April 29th, 2009, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wanker

I would love the ministry if it weren't for the people.

Never confuse Christians with Christianity!

sax4blues · April 29th, 2009, 11:34 PM

I BELIEVE in the christian bible and God/Jesus/Holy Spirit.

I ATTEND a church for group support.

Church won't get me to heaven, God's word will.

goldtopper · May 1st, 2009, 05:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ce24

Do they allow "special" music during worship? You and your wife could work up some praise and worship songs and do them as specials during the service.

ce24

As a matter of fact my wife and I are doing "Generations" by Sarah Groves on Mother's Day.

Parma_TeleMon · May 1st, 2009, 08:21 AM

Very cool!

Steel Mill · June 7th, 2009, 07:42 PM

Don't really go to church except for the kids religious education. But gotta say that I think that this thread is pretty cool and that I look up to your dedication at bringing music to your church services. And even cooler that you are tying it all in to your love for you telecaster also.

January 12th, 2009, 06:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
goldtopper Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell Age: 47 Posts: 1,261	Lovely, Things Blew Up At Church We've been going to a Church for two years. We became members after 9 months and joined the worship team. Our church is very small- 60 people on a Sunday is BIG. Our worship leader recently resigned because of differences between him, and his "team" vs. organist. Our worship team was comprised of about 8 people, including me as the sole guitarist and my very talented wife as a singer. The group has been together for about 10 years and has been less than welcoming. It's like walking into someone else's family reunion. For the past several weeks, we've not gotten any calls for rehearsals, and low and behold, there they are on Sunday singing. This last Sunday was our leader's last day with a big festival service. After about 10 people coming up and asking why we weren't playing, my wife was brought to tears. She was so broken hearted we couldn't even teach Sunday School and left after the service. While leaving, one of the Worship Committee ladies came over and said to my wife "I just heard that...blah blah blah". My wife explained that she felt unwelcome and she was hurt deeply because this is the best way for her to use her gifts to serve the Lord. She felt constantly excluded, had brought new pieces to rehearsals, they were never worked on, and was always told "we're doing these songs, and the way we've always done them and a 1, 2, 3 go..." How in the heck do we know "the way you've always done them?". She was so sad last night, felt misled, unwanted and betrayed. A new leader starts next week and the Pastor's wife (who is a wonderful woman) said not to worry, several of these people will be leaving because they only come to sing anyway and that things will change. At this point, anything we'd be involved in would feel patronizing and that we'd be "thrown a bone"; due to our small congregation, we are sure gossip has spread. So what do we do? Our kids love the Church and our daughter is midway through Confirmation. We both feel it is so important to set a good example for our kids and everyone else's. We also love to glorify God through music and think it is our calling to serve Him in that manner. We don't feel "complete" if we can't spread His word through P & W. Help! __________________ ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ Last edited by goldtopper; January 12th, 2009 at 07:03 AM.

January 12th, 2009, 06:28 AM	#2 (permalink)
nosuch Tele-Holic Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Cologne Age: 42 Posts: 941	What a sad story. __________________ Throw away your dirt pedals!

January 12th, 2009, 06:44 AM	#3 (permalink)
Carzee Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Canbeera Australia Posts: 1,043 24 Photos	Been here, done that. I was hurting, but then I sub-contracted the hurt up the chain of command. Command likes it that way too. The problem with churches is that they allow people in. People can be a PITA. Some have me wonder if they are.. no, scratch all that. Sorry. In reality, people are wunderful and nearly always a pleasure to be 'round, fun even. But its the castle building they all get up to that causes all the friction. __________________ Road Worns Classic Vibes Marshalls ... willing workers work wonders

January 12th, 2009, 01:10 PM	#6 (permalink)
twangcaster1 Friend of Leo's Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: SLC, UT Posts: 2,201 15 Photos	If you feel that it is a calling, then it is not something that you should allow gossip to affect. It is for God that you do it, not the gossipy, self-righteous people who are trying to make you uncomfortable and "nudge" you out of the picture. If you want to serve God, do it. Play and continue to do it with a smile on your face for that one soul in the audience that you may touch with the spirit. The lord says that the worth of one sould is infinite and God's joy is great and he is pleased with you if you can bring unto him even so much as one soul. With that in mind, WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE SAY!?! Don't let people's attitudes or opinions keep you from fulfilling your callings and pursuing things that you desire. That's my $0.02. __________________ Louisiana Twangmaker

January 12th, 2009, 04:00 PM	#8 (permalink)
Ptrallan01 Tele-Holic Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 663 3 Photos	Sorry Sounds like home! I've been through a very similar thing in a small church. Wanted to quit, had another place picked out, prayed about it and stayed. Still here 12 years later. Don't quit until you see what comes with the new leader. The rest of the church seems to fit you and your family. Give your wife my prayers and wait. It will become obvious which direction to go when you see how the new situation shakes out. Often we go through theses situations so that when someone else goes through them we can help them with our experience. Hope it all works out for you. __________________ Ooh, I want my guitar to sound like Jimmie Smith's organ!!!

January 12th, 2009, 01:13 PM	#7 (permalink)
Durtdog Friend of Leo's Join Date: May 2004 Location: Tennessee Posts: 3,860	Wow, I guess the same junk goes on with church bands as bar bands. Too bad.

January 12th, 2009, 04:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
lioncommandking TDPRI Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: marrero,la.(New Orleans) Age: 53 Posts: 57	It is said that Satan was God's worship leader in heaven. If that were so wouldn't he be out raged that God has given that position to a mere man! This is why I think we have so much trouble in music an worship. Surely music is a gift to be desired. So you will be opposed in many musical situations. (even bar bands) Get back in and worship God and let Him do whatever else needs to be done!

January 12th, 2009, 04:08 PM	#10 (permalink)
getbent Moderator Doctor of Teleocity Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: San Benito County, California Posts: 13,587 37 Photos	talk to your pastor quietly and man to man. Let him provide a solution for you. Turn yourself over to your flock leader and respect his advice and counsel and then lead your family toward his solution. Whether or not you continue to be in the pw band is only a detail of the instruction you will be given. Give it 6 months. Focus on being led by your pastor and by the spirit that brought you there in the first place. __________________ Let me preface this by saying I don't know anything about anything.-- Allen St. John

January 12th, 2009, 06:17 PM	#11 (permalink)
goldtopper Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell Age: 47 Posts: 1,261	Thank you all friends. I love this place! You've taken away some of the hurt and given me a sense of serenity and clarity. __________________ ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

January 12th, 2009, 07:53 PM	#12 (permalink)
patl TDPRI Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: North Bend, WA Age: 40 Posts: 51 2 Photos	I love what getbent said - as a former pastor, I really value the respect that this shows, to sit down and talk about a difficult issue with the person who's in the role of leading the church as a community. That's way better than simply disappearing, as much as it hurts right now. Grace and peace to you in these tough times.

February 27th, 2009, 10:37 AM	#15 (permalink)
Jakeboy Tele-Meister Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Sedalia, MO Posts: 108	+1 what Getbent said.....as a former pastor I assure you he speaks wisdom.

March 2nd, 2009, 12:09 AM	#16 (permalink)
Robbied_216 Tele-Meister Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Sydney, Australia - Beautiful!!! Age: 24 Posts: 219	Honouring your pastors advice and guidance is really important here. At the end of the day, our foundations in Christ aren't built upon our ability to lead worship. What we bring is just a tiny speck compared to what Christ brings into the equation. Like some of the others have said, see this as an opportunity to build character. There is always going to be attitudes and gossips whenever "people" are involved in the equation, cause unfortunately we are still living in our flesh. But just make sure you don't let that define your security in Christ...take a deep breath, hand it over to Christ, honour his authority (and his delegated authority), and let him do in the situation what he needs to do. He could maybe be doing some work in the hearts of the others around you, and need to position you in a particular place in order for him to do what he needs to do.... I hope this has encouraged you, and I apologise if it hasn't.

March 2nd, 2009, 12:59 AM	#17 (permalink)
NewGuy410 Tele-Meister Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Elkton, Maryland Age: 23 Posts: 305	I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I've played in a few praise bands and I've had friends in similar situations. Its very hard to present new ideas to people who have been doing it one way for so long. I think this transition to a new leader could be a good opportunity to maybe have a time that everyone in the band could sit and discuss their thoughts on how the team can improve. Perhaps someone else in the band also feels like they're being left out. If you feel wronged then you could go by what Christ says in Matthew 18:15. I also agree with getbent. To talk it over with someone (i.e. pastor, close friend) in love, not gossip and see what the Bible has to say about it. And of course, pray about it. Also, if you feel so passionately about worship music and its ministry, perhaps you could find another forum for it. Maybe some where outside of the church walls. I think you may be able to better "spread His Word" that way. Just remember that worship is all about Him, and that its way more than songs on a Sunday morning.

March 3rd, 2009, 06:59 AM	#18 (permalink)
mralmostpopular Tele-Meister Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Los Angeles/New York Posts: 264 3 Photos	It always amazes me how some people can (and do) act in the church. They'll act like bratty children with big egos and then think that they're saved and they're following Christ. The truth is, most Christians aren't really very Christian at all. I've actually encountered a similar (slightly worse) situation of my own, but I don't let it stop me. You just have to remember that you are there for Christ (not for recognition, or to entertain), and if you're supposed to be up there, you will be. Just make sure not to turn away from it because other people want to have their egos. As Latham said, though, you must be mindful of your own personal reasons for being up there. Not feeling "complete" without doing the music can be a dangerous path to go down. Being "called" really shouldn't be about feeling complete or incomplete, it's about God using you for His own purpose, irrelevant of what you want. If God wants you there, He'll put you there. __________________ "If it ain't got twang, then it don't sang!" I don't care what you say, pink is manly.

March 3rd, 2009, 01:05 PM	#19 (permalink)
COAHplayer TDPRI Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Canton, GA Age: 39 Posts: 27	"Not feeling "complete" without doing the music can be a dangerous path to go down." So true. While we may be given the time and talent to learn and play you must realize that people go to church and get involved for many reasons, often very far removed from serving Christ.

March 3rd, 2009, 01:50 PM	#20 (permalink)
dconeill Tele-Meister Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: arlington, virginia, usa Posts: 190	You were fired, by a group that couldn't bring itself to be straightforward and plainspoken about it. That's never pleasant. Moreover, I'm guessing you won't get a straight answer about why you were fired, either, since the group seems to have a track record of prevarication. Maybe you transgressed in some way, or maybe they just don't want any new members - you'll probably never know. You should feel unwanted, because you are, by that group. Based on what you say they are a core group, together many years, and they don't want to accomodate newcomers. What the minister's wife had to say sounds like an attempt to salve your feelings with no actual content, but you can never tell. Wait and see what happens. But I think you're going to have to make some choices. What's more important, your feelings that you and your wife are called to a P&W ministry with consequent frustration if you can't do that in your current congregation, or your children's love of the parish and their religious education? This is one of those situations where no available solution is optimal in all ways. I think you're going to have to face the possibility that if you remain in that church that you'll be locked out of the P&W group. Sigh. Even people in religious communities who profess the love of God are, alas, people, with all their contrariness and selfishness and pig-headedness and misguidedness. Being "saved" (or whatever term you like) doesn't seem to innoculate people against normal human cussedness. Sometimes I think the world would be better off without us, though that would be personally inconvenient to billions. But that's just because I'm a crusty old fart. Good luck, hope the situation works out as well as it can.

March 5th, 2009, 12:55 PM	#21 (permalink)
Parma_TeleMon Tele-Holic Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: parma, oh Age: 49 Posts: 911	Much here, my brother. Plenty of good advice, including talking with your pastor. If you don't already, spend some time praying through the situation and hurt with your wife - she probably needs that from you. If you serve from a need to feed your ego instead of fulfilling a sense of calling you'll know - I feel like a prostitute when I do that, and it really grieves my heart badly. Heck, it just plain hurts. Finding where and how to serve can be tough sometimes, esp. in a small, closed body of believers. I've been going to our fellowship around 5 years and have just recently had a chance to play as we have a wealth of musicians. I have, however, been serving behind the mixing console faithfully. I like to think my job is to remove technical impediments to people's worship (including team/band members). My heart breaks for you and your wife. Keep seeking, keep knocking, keep asking.... __________________ ================================ Packin' a Tele, lookin' fer trouble.... ================================

April 17th, 2009, 06:12 PM	#22 (permalink)
ce24 Tele-Holic Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Idaho Age: 59 Posts: 837	Do they allow "special" music during worship? You and your wife could work up some praise and worship songs and do them as specials during the service. ce24 __________________ www.motagator.net/slackwater "you can be happy or you can be miserable..the amount of work is the same"

April 18th, 2009, 12:34 PM	#23 (permalink)
Parma_TeleMon Tele-Holic Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: parma, oh Age: 49 Posts: 911	CE24, thanks for reviving this thread. And that sounds like a GREAT idea. Also, if the church does small groups leading worship in a small group works too. __________________ ================================ Packin' a Tele, lookin' fer trouble.... ================================

April 18th, 2009, 10:46 PM	#24 (permalink)
gitold Tele-Meister Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Denver Co. Age: 55 Posts: 177	I was the old guy that could actually play his instrument and had a little taste as far as volume goes but the youth won and I bowed out .What a great forum this is that's all I have to say.

April 19th, 2009, 04:07 PM	#25 (permalink)
charlie chitlin Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Bucktown, Pa Age: 47 Posts: 3,493	Look inside yourself for the answer. God is there. That's why He came to earth...so He could be inside all of us. Anybody who gets between you and God is just watering down the Word and claiming to be closer to Him than you are. Do the inner work. The answer is there. __________________ Dig yo'self http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm...6-bf3537901a07

April 19th, 2009, 04:19 PM	#26 (permalink)
twangus TDPRI Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: N.M. Posts: 72	Just remember, in all things God is in control. Sometimes we want to put ourselves and what we perceive as our needs in front and we forget about the reason we are there...to praise him. You will surely get to use your talents, and everything will work out. Have faith.

April 20th, 2009, 11:24 PM	#27 (permalink)
Southern Ill Electrics VENDOR Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Hamilton County Age: 39 Posts: 1,024	I agree with what CE22 suggests....we have specials both services on Sun. From our Youth Group to whom ever else be it in the pews...the Pastor....little ones....whomever.Always works for us.....everyone on our prasie team is involved....and more times than not you'll get a great testimony at the end.....and then that leads to another 3-4 Worship songs....another Altar call...and more fellowship....once you start labeling things as far as "Worship team leader" it will almost always end badly.....I love my church....I am truly blessed....no egos or aganda or and please no disrespect the castle building or nonsense that comes with it...... GOD is good...All the time/All the time...GOD is good!!! __________________ Jeffro' at Southern Ill Electrics 618-643-2406/618-308-0223 God Bless Les and Leo.

April 22nd, 2009, 03:47 PM	#28 (permalink)
Wanker TDPRI Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Missouri Posts: 62	Hope you got things worked out.

April 23rd, 2009, 02:21 AM	#30 (permalink)
gitold Tele-Meister Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Denver Co. Age: 55 Posts: 177	Parma,people were actually leaving the building because the music was too loud (older people) but this church had a pretty strong youth ministry.There were no hard feelings.I was 20 once to .

IMPORTANT:Treat everyone here with respect, no matter how difficult! No sex, drug, political, religion or hate discussion permitted here.

April 23rd, 2009, 02:31 AM	#31 (permalink)
krauser2 Tele-Holic Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: SC Age: 22 Posts: 517	I went to church once that told me I was going to hell because I didnt put money in the basket. It was my 3rd sunday there. Sometimes people suck even at a place you would least expect it. __________________ I have a Tele, a Lester, some pedals and a puppy

April 28th, 2009, 05:44 PM	#35 (permalink)
Wanker TDPRI Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Missouri Posts: 62	I would love the ministry if it weren't for the people.

April 29th, 2009, 11:34 PM	#37 (permalink)
sax4blues Tele-Holic Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: San Jose, CA Age: 52 Posts: 967	I BELIEVE in the christian bible and God/Jesus/Holy Spirit. I ATTEND a church for group support. Church won't get me to heaven, God's word will.

May 1st, 2009, 08:21 AM	#39 (permalink)
Parma_TeleMon Tele-Holic Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: parma, oh Age: 49 Posts: 911	Very cool! __________________ ================================ Packin' a Tele, lookin' fer trouble.... ================================

June 7th, 2009, 07:42 PM	#40 (permalink)
Steel Mill TDPRI Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: New Providence, NJ Posts: 68	Don't really go to church except for the kids religious education. But gotta say that I think that this thread is pretty cool and that I look up to your dedication at bringing music to your church services. And even cooler that you are tying it all in to your love for you telecaster also.