Things not to do to a Tele

Lerb21 · July 1st, 2008, 09:38 PM

I figured this is be good for some laughs. I've done all of these by the way. Things not to do to a Telecaster.

1. Put a lighter to the pickguard in hopes it will remove scratches.

2. Use a drill press to change an esquire pickguard into a telecaster pickguard.

3. Drill string ferrule holes with a handheld drill with a level attached to it ala a rubber band.

(Please don't interject anything like "Put humbuckers in it". Please?)

iansmitchell · July 1st, 2008, 09:52 PM

Put a bigsby on it.
Way to kill the sustain and look at the same time.

pengipete · July 1st, 2008, 09:55 PM

Lend it to a friend.
Not buy it when you can.
Try to justify buying it to your wife.

ghosttour · July 1st, 2008, 10:16 PM

• Try to play "Guitar Hero" on it?

Nick JD · July 1st, 2008, 10:38 PM

Dress it up in sexy lingerie and pimp it out on the streets with your Les Paul and your PRS.

Lerb21 · July 1st, 2008, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick JD

Dress it up in sexy lingerie and pimp it out on the streets with your Les Paul and your PRS.

What? I didn't have enough to pay the rent...

Dogbear · July 1st, 2008, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Dress it up in sexy lingerie and pimp it out on the streets with your Les Paul

LOL, so that's where my Les Paul goes at night........................

mudbean · July 1st, 2008, 10:57 PM

DO NOT use it to paddle a canoe ... although it'd probably survive.

mud

SMPTE · July 1st, 2008, 11:02 PM

Use it to beat down a stage crasher. Unless you're Keef.

MulliganChebichev · July 1st, 2008, 11:10 PM

This:

Edutainment · July 1st, 2008, 11:12 PM

Let a Sharpie anywhere near it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by MulliganChebichev

This:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! Actually, if that was actually a production model, I might try it out just for kicks.

Lerb21 · July 1st, 2008, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MulliganChebichev

This:

I just got an idea...

Bill · July 1st, 2008, 11:21 PM

Put it in the swimming pool to see if it floats.

Controlo · July 1st, 2008, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill

Put it in the swimming pool to see if it floats.

so... does yours float? haha.

TheBends · July 1st, 2008, 11:36 PM

Washing Machine.
Nuff' Said.

outbreak · July 2nd, 2008, 12:26 AM

someone please build that tele up above

telechucker · July 2nd, 2008, 01:29 AM

+1 on the Bigsby - as Roy B used to say - "It's like putting a moustache on a Mona Lisa". Although at the time he was referring to putting humbuckers on one. Oops, sorry !

teleRemy · July 2nd, 2008, 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MulliganChebichev

This:

Haha, strat neck is a nice touch.

bendecaster · July 2nd, 2008, 03:32 AM

Is that an input-jack above the bridge? WTF???

play_loud · July 2nd, 2008, 04:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iansmitchell

Put a bigsby on it.
Way to kill the sustain and look at the same time.

That's no different then saying "put humbuckers in it". In my opinion, Teles look TWICE as sexy AND classy with bigsbys on them. Also, when installed properly, there should be no reason for a immediately noticeable and significant loss of sustain. Im no bigsby tele expert, but if you think that’s going to happen by drilling a few small holes in the body then i'd say you would be mistaken.

I will now share with you one of my beloved guitar porn sources.

http://www.xs4all.nl/~msengers/htm/gallery.htm

That site makes me go

Chris.

tuuur · July 2nd, 2008, 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by play_loud

That's no different then saying "put humbuckers in it". In my opinion, Teles look TWICE as sexy AND classy with bigsbys on them. Also, when installed properly, there should be no reason for a immediately noticeable and significant loss of sustain. Im no bigsby tele expert, but if you think that’s going to happen by drilling a few small holes in the body then i'd say you would be mistaken.

I will now share with you one of my beloved guitar porn sources.

http://www.xs4all.nl/~msengers/htm/gallery.htm

That site makes me go

Chris.

Yup, I agree.

(I believe you can do almost anything to a tele and it will still keep its ground btw)

chemikiller · July 2nd, 2008, 04:58 AM

4 Humbuckers & a Floyd?
Don't you think at least one of those pickups should be a single? or a P90?

Quote:

Originally Posted by MulliganChebichev

This:

Tim73 · July 2nd, 2008, 05:09 AM

I have a bigsby on one of mine, properly set up & it gives me no issues. Granted it isn't classic & I would prefer a more traditional feel but it's a bit of fun.

I don't like most things that John 5 does to his but then it works for him... if it's your tele, do what you like, I reckon. Although MulliganChebichev's multi coloured posting makes me question my own response!

Durtdog · July 2nd, 2008, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by play_loud

In my opinion, Teles look TWICE as sexy AND classy with bigsbys on them.

Teles with Bigsbys remind me of Forrest Gump with leg braces. Sexy, eh?

July 1st, 2008, 09:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
iansmitchell TDPRI Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Gainesville, Florida Posts: 93	Put a bigsby on it. Way to kill the sustain and look at the same time. __________________ ... Please do not insinuate anything sexual from that.

July 1st, 2008, 09:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
pengipete Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Gloucester U.K. Age: 47 Posts: 1,079	Lend it to a friend. Not buy it when you can. Try to justify buying it to your wife.

July 1st, 2008, 10:16 PM	#4 (permalink)
ghosttour Tele-Meister Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Atlanta, GA Age: 35 Posts: 414 6 Photos	• Try to play "Guitar Hero" on it? __________________ www.myspace.com/brasssaddles

July 1st, 2008, 10:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
Nick JD Friend of Leo's Join Date: May 2007 Location: North NSW, Australia Age: 36 Posts: 2,184	Dress it up in sexy lingerie and pimp it out on the streets with your Les Paul and your PRS. __________________

July 1st, 2008, 10:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
mudbean Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: SoCal Semi-Desert Semi-Paradise Age: 49 Posts: 1,155	DO NOT use it to paddle a canoe ... although it'd probably survive. mud __________________ www.mudbean.com Honey, come to bed ... Later, I have to finish this ... What? ... Someone is WRONG on the Internet!

July 1st, 2008, 11:02 PM	#9 (permalink)
SMPTE Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Minneeeesoooottta Posts: 1,120	Use it to beat down a stage crasher. Unless you're Keef. __________________ HW1 Texas Tele, EJ Strat, MIJ JM, Epi Casino (AlnicoV), Gibson '61 RI SG, Steinberger, Squier PBass (heavily modded)

July 1st, 2008, 11:10 PM	#10 (permalink)
MulliganChebichev Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Oregon, USA Age: 18 Posts: 1,674 3 Photos	This:

July 1st, 2008, 11:21 PM	#13 (permalink)
Bill Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Bay Area, California Posts: 2,551 56 Photos	Put it in the swimming pool to see if it floats. __________________ B i l l B a e c k A journal of our year in London

July 1st, 2008, 11:36 PM	#15 (permalink)
TheBends TDPRI Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Chi Town Age: 17 Posts: 28	Washing Machine. Nuff' Said. __________________ -Cheers

July 2nd, 2008, 12:26 AM	#16 (permalink)
outbreak Tele-Meister Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Australia Age: 20 Posts: 442	someone please build that tele up above __________________ '07 MIM std tele '07 Epiphone Studio Dot '04ish J&D Luthiers LP copy '07 VOX ad50vt

July 2nd, 2008, 01:29 AM	#17 (permalink)
telechucker Tele-Meister Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 46 Posts: 162	+1 on the Bigsby - as Roy B used to say - "It's like putting a moustache on a Mona Lisa". Although at the time he was referring to putting humbuckers on one. Oops, sorry ! __________________ A man's best friend is his Tele - not his dog.

July 2nd, 2008, 03:32 AM	#19 (permalink)
bendecaster Tele-Holic Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: maine Posts: 803	Is that an input-jack above the bridge? WTF??? __________________ The Demented 7th

July 2nd, 2008, 05:09 AM	#23 (permalink)
Tim73 Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Berkshire, England Age: 35 Posts: 1,139 21 Photos	I have a bigsby on one of mine, properly set up & it gives me no issues. Granted it isn't classic & I would prefer a more traditional feel but it's a bit of fun. I don't like most things that John 5 does to his but then it works for him... if it's your tele, do what you like, I reckon. Although MulliganChebichev's multi coloured posting makes me question my own response! __________________ Born in the '70's & in my mind, still living there now...