Make up a lie about the poster above you!

[chezdeluxe]

Originally Posted by telleutelleme

TGFM decided he had to get Lanore out of California but was a bit afraid of taking an underaged Manatee across state lines. "

<no lie>Because that would contravene the mann (atee) act. Boom Boom. Well done TUTM<no lie >

[chezdeluxe]

In the world of international skullduggery and problem removal TUTM is known as Carmen. (it dates back to the Aswan High Dam incident of September 1970).

That was the only time Carmen had misgivings about an assignment. He was only too happy to be a "soldier" for Miss Doubleheaded Penny but her insistence on brylcreem for his hairstyle was going too far. This was the 70s and he had left all that greasy kid stuff behind him.....

[simonc]

Chez once holidayed at Ayers Rock in the 80's, where he woke up in the morning screaming " A dingo's got my TELE!!!!!".
it was rumored he made the whole thing up, seeing as though there was no power outlets to actually plug an amp into within coo-ee of Uluru.

[tgfmike]

simon was wakened by the phone. It was Esaaal, trying to locate Hoodie, per PC's instructions.

"Mate", said simon, "(A) - it's two in the bleeding morning and (B) Hoodie lives on the other coast, not down the flippin' street." (simon speaks with an interesting mix of Aussie and some unidentified Britishy vernacular)

"Right. Sorry. Mike was looking for some muscle for a little project of his and Penny can't make it so she suggested Hoodie."

"Hoodie? For muscle? Fat bleeding likely that is. What's the deal? If you want muscle, you're talking to the right guy."

"OK then. How soon can you get to Denver?"

"I'm practically there", simon declared, and got out of bed to call Qantas.

[spikypaddy]

Simon was just about to make his call to Qantas, when the phone rang. It was Mike."Simon, have you heard from Esaaal?"
"Yeah mate, I just spoke to him. He said you need muscle and I'm on my way - as soon as people stop bloody calling me."
"Don't do it!" Mike urged him, "It's a trap."
"A trap? Bloody bonza, mate, I've been looking for some excitement!"
"They're after your Teles, Simon - don't leave the house - I've just touched down in Sydney and I'm gonna try to get to you as soon as possible - just sit tight and I'll be there."
"Just one question," Simon said "will you be wanting VB, Tooheys or Bundy and coke when you get here? Or maybe some vegemite?"
"Do you not think it's a bit early for that, Simon - excepting the veggiemite?"
"Not by the time you get here, mate!"

[Niprock]

tgfmike often has these little role plays it give him the illusion of a social life and friends

[Esaaal]

[QUOTE][/tgfmike often has these little role plays it give him the illusion of a social life and friends QUOTE]

PC loosened the garrot a little from around Niprock's throat. It wasn't a skillful lie and he wasn't sure she would believe it, but it was all he had. A little dissinformation wouldn't kill anyone, would it?

Niprock had been in Penny's wet basement for what seemed like an eternity now. Was it 7 days or 8? Chained to the wall and fed crushed pototo chips, Niprock's will was being sorely tested. "so, can I go home now" Niprock asked. His answer came swiftly from her small right fist. Nip's eyes rolled back in his head... blessed relief....then nothing.

[tgfmike]

Meanwhile, Esaaal was back in the U.S. and looking for Mike, who was no longer answering his cell phone. Without knowing where tgfm was, E had no choice but to go to Denver and wait for simon.

[JackStraw]

tgfm knows that he'll have no choice. He will be forced to do whatever simon says. Thats the way it is and the way it's always been. Last time it was put your hand on your head, put your other hand on your head, pick your left foot up, put your left foot down, blah, blah,blah. How much more did he have to put up with? He'd been a member for seven years before the upstart showed up and now he was licking his wounds and trying to keep his fragile ego from shattering completely. The old woman told him a day of reckoning would dawn red and steaming he just had to be ready and wait. Where was Esaaal? If Esaaal had gone over? No, not Esaaal no matter what spikey said after they drained their third bottle of tequila. He laid his head down that night and like every night,visions of Lorelai''s beautiful whiskered face danced mockingly before him.

[Ash Telecaster]

"Begone, foul dwimmerliar, lord of caricature! Leave the daft in peace," snarled JS.

A cold voice answered: "Come not between the Lair and his prey! Or he will not slander thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lying Eye."

A key clicked as it was typed. "Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may."

"Hinder me? Thou fool. No blogger may hinder me!" a sinister glare beaming from Mikes evil font.

"But no blogger am I! You look upon a spam bot. JackStrawBot I am, Begone, if you be not emailless! For living or dark undead, I will spam you"

[Niprock]

Git head is a 12 time Ohio state dungeons and dragons champion every year he destroys the competition

[Ash Telecaster]

Nip rock plays nipple twist with himself pitting his left side against his right.

His right side is faster but his left has a killer grip!

[tgfmike]

This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers. Grave and earnest men, at Eton and elsewhere, had tried GitHead with Greek, with Latin and with English; and the sheeplike stolidity with which he declined to be interested in the masterpieces of all three tongues had left them with the conviction that he would never read anything.

And then, years afterward, he had suddenly blossomed out as a student—only, it is true, a student of the Adventures of Gridley Quayle; but still a student. His was a dull life and Gridley Quayle was the only person who brought romance into it. Existence for the Honorable GH was simply a sort of desert, punctuated with monthly oases in the shape of new Quayle adventures. It was his ambition to meet the man who wrote them.

<no lie>The above lie was stolen almost verbatim from PG Wodehouse. I don't think he minds.</no lie>

[telleutelleme]

After a restless night in the Yugo amidst the stench of the Sardines and stagnant water, TGFM was starting to loose some of his feelings for Lanore. He realized that he at, 50 (well OK 58) and Lanore being 6 (28 in Manatee years) probably wasn't going to work. Also, she looked a lot worse in the morning and he was having one of those Cayote Ugly moments. Perhaps her case wasn't that interesting and maybe, just maybe, he could dump her at Sea World and then shoot off to Wisconsin and find out what was happening with PC, Weasel Esaaal, JP, JS, Niprock, Githead and Simonc (how in the hell did they get involved?), RSG, spiky and some guy named Mike. TGFM started up the Yugo, spun the tires (it was in sand) and headed towards San Diego. As he drove he wondered if Lowes would take the tub back. He also thought about how he was going to break this to Lanore. All he could think of was the words of an old Tim McGraw song:

Cause I don't wanna see me leavin in her almond eyes
And I can't stand to watch her watch me make a manatee cry
And I don't know a right way I can do her wrong
So I don't wanna be here in the mornin
when she wakes up in Sea World and finds me gone

Oh well, he thought guys like me always get mixed up with the wrong kind of Manatee.

<no lie> Note lyrics changed because this is a lie<no lie\>

[Ash Telecaster]

Whenever TUTM finds himself growing grim and slippery about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drooling, sniveling, retching, and gagging November in his soul; whenever He finds himself involuntarily twitching, and hopping up and down and spitting, and pausing before barns, and bringing up the rear of every mammal he meets, birds too; and especially whenever his Walrus gets such an upper flipper of him, that it requires a strong dose to prevent him from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's heads off with a rusty pitch fork--then, He accounts it high time to get to sea as quick as he and his Walrus can waddle. And they better hurry as here come the police.


<no lie> This lie was not stolen almost verbatem from Moby Manatee </no lie>

[tgfmike]

When GH gets grim he recommends visiting the City of the Manatees:

There now is your insular City of the Manatees, belted round by wharves as Indian isles by coral reefs -- commerce surrounds it with her surf. Right and left, the streets take you waterward. Its extreme down-town is the battery, where that noble mole is washed by waves, and cooled by breezes, which a few hours previous were out of sight of land. Look at the crowds of water-gazers there.

Circumambulate the city of a dreamy Sabbath afternoon. Go from Corlears Hook to Coenties Slip, and from thence, by Whitehall northward. What do you see? -- Posted like silent sentinels all around the town, stand thousands upon thousands of men and women and manatees fixed in ocean reveries. Some leaning against the spiles; some seated upon the pier-heads; some looking over the bulwarks. All in search of peace in the City of the Manatees.

[Ash Telecaster]

"How it is I know not; but there is no place like a sea bed for confidential disclosures between mammals. Man and seacow, they say, there open the very glass bottom boats of their souls to each other; and some old cows often lie and fib over old times till nearly low tide. Thus, then, in our hearts' honeymoon, lay I and Lorelai—a cosy, loving pair." - Mike

[telleutelleme]

Father Githead rose, and in a mild voice of unassuming authority ordered the scattered people to condense. "Star board gangway, there! side away to larboard- larboard gangway to starboard! Midships! midships!"

There was a low rumbling of heavy sea-boots among the benches, and a still slighter shuffling of women's shoes, and all was quiet again, and every eye on the preacher.

He paused a little; then kneeling in the pulpit's bows, folded his large brown hands across his chest, uplifted his closed eyes, and offered a prayer so deeply devout that he seemed kneeling and praying at the bottom of the sea.

Beloved Shipmates, Clinch the last verse of the first chapter of TGFM - 'and God had prepared a great Manatee to swallow up TGFM'

[PennyCentury]

Suddenly TUTM saw a constellation and then... a black void. Recovering consciousness he attempted to focus on a red flashing something. His head throbbed as if he had been on a seven day bender. The red slowly cam into focus... HOTEL... HOTEL... HOTEL... broken neon arabesque... flashes of clear white light... and a smell... like a busful of teenage cheerleaders. He tried to move, but his limbs responded as if in slow motion. He realized that Lenore was gone, and in her place was a MIM Tele. As well as a note, tucked in behind the strings, written on perfumed stationery...

[Ash Telecaster]

My children, latest born to Mike old,
Why sit ye here as suppositories, in your hands
Bottles of oil suplemented with drool?

What means this reek of BO everywhere,
And everywhere laundry and dishes?

Children, it were not meet that I should learn
From others, and am hither come, myself,
I Penny, your world-renowned Queen.

Whose venerable locks Proclaim
TUTM spokesman of this company,
Explain your mood and purport. Is it dread
of milk that moves you or a bon bon ye crave?

My crop on your @ss ye cannot doubt;
Ruthless indeed were I and obdurate
If such delinquents as you I spurned.