Need Advice on what to do about band.

[automaticher0]

Hello everyone,

First, thank you for the great words of wisdom I have found on this board and all the members.

To begin, I am in a situation that I need some advice on and will try to keep it as short as possible. I have been in this band for the past 5 months and I truly believe in it. I have designed for the band very professional looking artwork, logos, CD design, and websites (even the duplication guy thought it was professional). I have put countless hours of work in this band and truly believe that the music is there and has potential to really influence others lives which is why I play and make music in my free time.

Last night for some reason I was verbally attacked at a band meeting for some reasons I thought were very absurd at this stage in the game. I have been over 10 min. late to rehearsal on 2-3 occasions in the past 6 months, calling every time before hand to let them know. They then brought up the fact that I went a week and 2 days without contacting them (Christmas week, was out of town for a funeral + christmas with the family 7 hours away all week). It was my understanding that the band was on a break.

The last couple things that I mention really got to me and made me question whether I'm doing the right thing. First, I was told that my image wasn't right because I was wearing a T-shirt/dress shirt/jeans/sneakers. They all dress in Affliction from Buckle and the bassist wears a black vest, a pink tie with black pants and a hat. I was told I needed to buy a new outfit and was promptly suggested to go to Buckle/affliction and get something or go online and get something that looked like Buckle/affliction clothing.

The last thing that really got to me was they said that my stage performance wasn't genuine and that I need to give it 110% every show. I would agree with that except we were playing in a showcase, dead last place, on a Sunday night (taking the stage at midnight), with no audience for 2 of our 3 shows. The other show had just family and friends there on another Sunday night. I played exceptionally accurate when reviewing the video I took of all three shows but my energy level was down because no one was in the audience...

The last two things wouldn't get to me that much if it weren't for the fact that I think the lead singer is taking this way to seriously. We have only had three shows, all of which had no audience on a Sunday. I am used to having packed Saturday night shows in my old bands, not Sunday with no one there. To compound the issue, the lead singers wife MUST do all the bookings and is considered the band manager.

(Every musician in this band is very talented)

What advice can some of the seasoned guitarists out there give me?

[musicmatty]

I would express your opinion just like you did on this board and see where it gets you

Lifes to short for bull**** like this..if you are in the wrong...you may not be with your kind of like minded players who see things your way Every disagreement is worth visiting and hashing it out...but if it doesn't go away...time to leave


http://bobbyandthejammers.wordpress.com/

[Paul in Colorado]

The problem is LSD. Lead Singer's Disease. He wants to call the shots and be in control. And he wants his wife to be in on it. If you can live with that, you have a future in that band. If not... RUN FOREST, RUN!

[dconeill]

You're in the wrong band. Clearly there are irreconcilable differences between you and the other band members. Suggest you abandon this band by giving two weeks' notice and find another outlet for your musical skills.

[Jakedog]

Originally Posted by dconeill

You're in the wrong band. Clearly there are irreconcilable differences between you and the other band members. Suggest you abandon this band by giving two weeks' notice and find another outlet for your musical skills.

And let them know that they will not be using your artwork/logo, etc. after you're gone.

[DonB52]

I agree that you are in the wrong band. Take you creative abilities and find a new group of musicians who think like you.

[mtjo62]

I had to look up Affliction from Buckle to see what that was. UFC themed clothing. You can get a full wardrobe of that stuff at Walmart. While I don't care for group costumes, I also hate seeing a band dress like they just got off work. I don't think that it is overboard to expect members to project a certain image. I am assuming that you joined an existing band. Many bands are not a democracy and you have to play by their rules within reason. Watch the movie Rock Star, which is supposedly based on Judas Priest. You didn't mention whether this is a full time band or weekend warriors. If this is a full time band trying to get signed by a label, then there are sacrifices and you are really better served with an experienced manager instead of the GF. Good luck with that. If you just want to play gigs for fun and earn some extra pocket money, start or find another band that plays for the love of playing.

[LightninMike]

They couldn't respect the fact that you were off at a family funeral - at the least, they are insensitive to their "bandmate"...at most they are quite selfish.... how many times did they call you when you could have used a friendly voice on the other end?
the Girlfriend/booking agent/manager is always problematic.... ALWAYS

You kinda answered your own question.... New Year, New Band

[sax4blues]

When I hear a list of problems from a group of people I think it doesn't matter what each problem is, there is some behind your back maneuverings going on.

[automaticher0]

Wow, seems pretty much unanimous that I need to talk to them and get the hell out of there.

[Joe-Bob]

Time to ditch these guys.

And... since your artwork, logos, designs, and websites are your copyright, take those with you, too.

[Leon Grizzard]

Originally Posted by Joe-Bob

Time to ditch these guys.

And... since your artwork, logos, designs, and websites are your copyright, take those with you, too.

Or not. If they are no good to you, consider and letting them use them. You never can tell what might come back to you someday. I believe in leaving on the best terms you can.

[Abe the dude]

Originally Posted by Leon Grizzard

Or not. If they are no good to you, consider and letting them use them. You never can tell what might come back to you someday. I believe in leaving on the best terms you can.

^ +1

[Phoenix59]

Originally Posted by Paul in Colorado

The problem is LSD. Lead Singer's Disease. He wants to call the shots and be in control. And he wants his wife to be in on it. If you can live with that, you have a future in that band. If not... RUN FOREST, RUN!

Also STS. Spinal Tap Syndrome.

[PeterVV]

This is like Deja Vu for some of us, the "my wife thinks we should" syndrone......that scenario kills most bands as arguments are bound to follow...

[Brandon mac]

i would run as fast as i could outta there!!! lead singers wife is the manager!!!??? yeah i would haul ass!!!

[cbtd]

I would vote on it's time to find something else. Chemistry is key in a band and if there are individuals who take the fun out of it it is time to find something else. I would generally go with the players who are fun over the best musicians. You generally end up with a better band that way.

Also, if Affliction by Buckle is their idea of a cutting edge image, they are already doomed.

I'm sure if you've got as much to offer as you describe you should be able to find people to play with that are a better fit.

[TeleTim911]

I see way too many things wrong with this band, just take everyone's advice, kindly and softly walk away. From what I'm seeing, you've only just touched the surface of the drama that lies ahead. Go now while the getting is good.

Leave the art work, whatever....chalk it alll up to "experience". Find some people with same likes and music and see what else you can do.

Life's too short, and being in a band is hard enough without a bunch of drama being added to it.

[automaticher0]

Thought I was going crazy for a minute because all they told me was that I needed to take things dead serious every show no matter how many people show up/what time it is/what day of the week it is.

"You need to look professional 100% of the time and own the stage 100% of the time because you never know who could be in the audience." is the counter statement to a lot of problems I have with taking this too serious.

[Frontier9]

This has nothing to do with the main issue, but I hafta ask - how in hell does a pink tie work with that line of clothing at all?
Seriously?