Decisions...

[mistermullens]

Well I think its approaching, and wanted some unbiased opinions. I've been very fortunate to play in a band with a mostly good bunch of guys for the past two years. About a month or so ago, I casually mentioned to our bass player that I couldn't take another year playing with the second guitarist. The bass player, who was relieved, told me that he was going to tell us he was leaving if the second guitar was around next year. This basically led to the decision that second guitar would be gone after the new year. Problem #1 solved. Well, I've gotten to the point that I would like to gig more than our current one to two gigs a month. Two a month was the stated maximum. Transportation has become an issue as well. Some of the guys aren't willing to really travel anything over 25 miles unless we're getting paid "extra" which is limiting us. On a personal note, our fans and patrons have been very generous with their compliments toward me that has given me a bit of a confidence boost. Now, I have no delusions of grandeur, but I think I can do more. As my wife says, I've got a hunger for something where the rest of the guys are in it solely for fun. Don't get me wrong, I'm in for fun to, but I've been bitten by the performance bug. The hardest thing about this, is that I consider these guys my friends, and I don't want to let them down. I know me, and I'm pretty sure what I'll eventually have to do, but I'd like to hear your thoughts. Maybe you guys might think of something I haven't thought of yet. Thanks.

[klasaine]

Don't quit that band. It seems you still like it even though they don't play enough for you.
Just do another one too.
If you've got 'the hunger' (which is f'n awesome) you'll find the time to do another band.

[scantron81]

I'm not sure how it works in the ATL but just East of you, we're in at least 2-3 performing bands. That's how it is in this town. Everyone is in everyone else's side project. Projects flip on a regular basis. Usually no hard feelings as there is this understanding of forward progress in creativity that is unless someone takes the bands too seriously.

[String Tree]

Originally Posted by klasaine

Don't quit that band. It seems you still like it even though they don't play enough for you.
Just do another one too.
If you've got 'the hunger' (which is f'n awesome) you'll find the time to do another band.

Like HE said!!!

[GigsbyBoyUK]

I love my current band but I am aware at some point we will reach the limit of the number of gigs per month the other members want to do. Their limit is less than mine so I am quietly working on material for a second band. Sounds like we're in the same boat.

[mistermullens]

Originally Posted by klasaine

Don't quit that band. It seems you still like it even though they don't play enough for you.
Just do another one too.
If you've got 'the hunger' (which is f'n awesome) you'll find the time to do another band.

I've tried doing the two band thing, but it was to much since I work and go to school full time. Not to mention, I'm married as well. I like the guys, but I'm not as enthusiastic as I was at the beginning. I still enjoy playing with a couple of the guys, but I feel like we've plateaued.

[Big John Studd]

I'm in a similar scenario. Been with the band for three years...AND we still all like each other. I'm one of the best two musicians in the band. Believe me, I have no delusions of grandeur about my playing, it's just how it sorts out in this particular band. Anyway, I have also been getting in (and out) of other bands. I am very glad to have this mediocre cover band as a mainstay. We consistently have good paying monthly gigs. And did I mention we haven't killed each other after three years of playing Brown Eyed Girl and so forth? Don't underestimate the value of that before you totally quit your band.

[Papa Joe]

Just be up front and clear in all your dealings then do what you know you have to do..

[Justinvs]

Originally Posted by Papa Joe

Just be up front and clear in all your dealings then do what you know you have to do..

+1

Maybe instead of quitting you could bring it to the rest of the guys that you want to push things a little harder. Try introducing some new music, something that will challenge all of you, and this might bring the fun back in. Work in some original songs or covers of things that push your, and your crowds, personal envelopes. With luck you might find what you're after without sacrificing any friendships or what you've already worked so hard to achieve.

Justin

[mistermullens]

Here's some more info. I have had a talk with my drummer, who started the whole the band, about my "vision" for next year which included doing some originals, obscure covers, expanding our "area of play," and playing more gigs. The expanding and playing more than two gigs a month was met with some opposition. Also, I am the youngest guy in the group, everyone else is 55+. This isn't a big deal for me, but it may factor into some of what I'm dealing with.

[Cooleyman]

Same scenario here. I am several years ahead of you though as I started struggling with this a long time ago.
My advice (for what it's worth) is to let them know how you feel but don't expect much to change. You will be let down if you expect anyone to put more into it than they already are. Even if they act enthused when you discuss things it's unlikely that they'll change anything.
These people win the battle by doing nothing. You cannot force them to grow/learn/rehearse, they have to want it and you can't make them want it.
It's like holding a toddler who doesn't want to be held. They go limp and become dead weight until you give in and let em down.
The attitude you are dealing with is that it's just a 'hobby band' for fun so we don't need to be tight. But isn't being tight what makes it fun!?! The audience doesn't notice if anything is off- BS!! They do and so do we!!
Like I said, don't expect anything to change. Take a good look at your weakest link - that's as good as it's ever gonna get with this lineup.
Sorry to be so negative but this issue hits home with me in a big way. Obviously, I've had a rough time with this and only wanted to maybe spare you the aggravation and resentment that builds up over these things.
Good luck!

[McGlamRock]

Originally Posted by klasaine

Don't quit that band. It seems you still like it even though they don't play enough for you.
Just do another one too.
If you've got 'the hunger' (which is f'n awesome) you'll find the time to do another band.

+2 Your situation describes exactly what happened to me when I moved back to San Francisco a few years ago. So when I joined one band and it wasn't enough I found a second one... and then a third one and a fourth one.

[Justinvs]

Originally Posted by mistermullens

Here's some more info. I have had a talk with my drummer, who started the whole the band, about my "vision" for next year which included doing some originals, obscure covers, expanding our "area of play," and playing more gigs. The expanding and playing more than two gigs a month was met with some opposition. Also, I am the youngest guy in the group, everyone else is 55+. This isn't a big deal for me, but it may factor into some of what I'm dealing with.

I would say the age thing could be a real factor.

[G60syncro]

Meh! Start something new!! I've had my hillbilly rock 'n roll band going for a couple years now... Not my first choice in what I wanted to play, but I figured "What the hell, better be in a band than all alone and I'll learn new stuff too!!" Well fast forward a couple years and I did learn a bunch of new stuff!! Met great people along the way and played all kinds of great gigs. Then 2 years ago, an offer came along for something more like I really wanted to do... more 60's pop rock.

I made it clear to both bands that I was'nt going to play favorites with either, whoever books the show or practice first gets the date. I feel both projects feed off one another even though the style and musical aesthetics are polar opposites. We've even played a couple dates with both bands and me playing double sets. Having an opportunity to stretch your limits and explore new grounds is always good, you come back to your old band with fresh ideas and it keeps your musical life interesting!

Ive just joined a 3rd project for a one shot gig deal coming up in a month or so, just for fun and we're all part of the same circle of friends... They're all cool with it..

Just don't pull a move like the ex-guitarist of our pop group who just bailed out without notice when we had some dates lined-up while working on new material and no plan-B... We had to recruit in a hurry, shove a setlist in their faces (got more than jus one new member) and will barely be covering our planned gig this weekend.

[Mark N]

I think you should or could stay with this band and go on a solo run for yourself with that acoustic stuff you love so much

[telequacktastic]

yeah, hit the open mics/jams... learn a new instrument or style to broaden your skill set

[TeleTim911]

Find a "second" band to play with. You don't have to leave your current band, just find something else to fill the void.

[mistermullens]

Originally Posted by Mark N

I think you should or could stay with this band and go on a solo run for yourself with that acoustic stuff you love so much

Mark knows the situation all too well as we talk on a regular basis, but it's also a matter of time. I don't have time to put together a second band. As Mark said, some solo acoustic stuff might be more realistic. We have gigs through the end of the year, and I'm not the type to bail on people whether I like them or not. I've kind of stalled on this a bit as well, because school is kicking my but right now, and I'm trying to get back on track.

[Gringo13]

That "hunger" you mentioned.... use it! What I mean is that you should let it fuel you during practices and shows. And that's another point... treat it like a real show and not another "gig". Gigs remind me of something teenage garage bands hope to get one day. Nothing wrong with it, but let your hunger drive you to new showmanship and creativity like you've harnessed the angst. The band will notice and realize you're even more serious than before. When you're putting it out there with your actions, then it makes them take your recommendations more seriously.

I'm not suggesting you're not a showman or that your effort isn't there... not by any means, so don't take me the wrong way. I've just seen too many people allow their frustrations to spill over into their actions.

Also, the age thing is a big deal. Lugging gear to different towns, late nights, sketchy venues, and maintaining artistic creativity is a lot to demand from people who are happy with status quo. Give it hell, but keep your future options open... and finally... shoot 'em straight... always.

[Mark N]

Originally Posted by Gringo13

That "hunger" you mentioned.... use it! What I mean is that you should let it fuel you during practices and shows. And that's another point... treat it like a real show and not another "gig". Gigs remind me of something teenage garage bands hope to get one day. Nothing wrong with it, but let your hunger drive you to new showmanship and creativity like you've harnessed the angst. The band will notice and realize you're even more serious than before. When you're putting it out there with your actions, then it makes them take your recommendations more seriously.

I'm not suggesting you're not a showman or that your effort isn't there... not by any means, so don't take me the wrong way. I've just seen too many people allow their frustrations to spill over into their actions.

Also, the age thing is a big deal. Lugging gear to different towns, late nights, sketchy venues, and maintaining artistic creativity is a lot to demand from people who are happy with status quo. Give it hell, but keep your future options open... and finally... shoot 'em straight... always.

I can certainly agree with you on that....passion goes a long long way...the only thing is the others need to go along with you...if not, it's an uphill battle no matter how passionate or driven you are. I found that out in my last band....singer had no passion nor did he really want to put forth any effort...I am one of the most passionate/hungry people there is when it comes to playing music in a band...and no matter how hard I tried, I just could not get him to go along with me...so I said to hell with him and the whole damn thing, now I have moved on and am working with three other fellas that share the same level of passion and desire to just go out and play.