My Wife just...

Douglas_Holt · February 22nd, 2008, 11:39 AM

My wife moved out with me and in with my bass player. He was a good picker too. I'm gonna miss him.

Anybody got any words of wisdom I can use.

Thanks in advance.

Doug

neocaster · February 22nd, 2008, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Douglas_Holt

My wife moved out with me and in with my bass player. He was a good picker too. I'm gonna miss him.

Anybody got any words of wisdom I can use.

Thanks in advance.

Doug

That sucks. First things first, start looking for a new bass player. Women who'll run out on you are a dime a dozen. I won't say anything mean, she may be a great person, but she sure sounds like a lousy wife.

TeleBits · February 22nd, 2008, 11:43 AM

Ummmmm.. Advertise for a new, Married bass player ? Other than that , hang in there..

woodman · February 22nd, 2008, 11:52 AM

what a kick in the teeth! once you get out of shock, just keep moving and don't look back.

pengipete · February 22nd, 2008, 11:54 AM

Next time find a woman who can play bass.

Bangbang · February 22nd, 2008, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by woodman

what a kick in the teeth! once you get out of shock, just keep moving and don't look back.

I agree.....and I can not say how I would cope on this forum. My wife moved out for 8 months and I rejoiced and partied my ass off. Then the Icelady moves back in when I filed for divorce. She had no place to go and does not work. She was fighting me on the divorce. It was goin to cost me so much I dropped the divorce. Ughhhhh

Now I just avoid her as much as possible. I have my own space in my house and I do what I want when I want....that includes purchasing as many amps and guitars as I want.

vjf1968 · February 22nd, 2008, 12:11 PM

I don't want to be talking out of my a** since I don't know you, your wife, and the guy she decided to shack up with or how long you been married. Any advice you get, take with a grain of salt. Nobody here knows what led up to this so all we have is your side of the story. Of course she has her side and somewhere in between is the cold hard truth. In other words, I am not taking anyone's side.

Was this all of sudden?

Where you having problems for a while?

Could you see this coming?

Have you two been to marrige counseling?

From what understand (at least here in Pennsylvania) you have to be seperated for 90 days before you can file for divorce. Usually this starts from the moment you two stopped sleeping together onwards. So when you get over the shock, get a very good divorce lawyer. You may want to look for one now and have a consult just to see where you stand.

Obviously this is going to be a very rough time for you so I hope you get through this with as litttle battle damage as possible. Try to keep a clear head and try not to let you emotions effect your decisions.

FMA · February 22nd, 2008, 12:15 PM

Bass player, huh?
Could've been worse. Could've been the drummer.
Just trying to inject some levity. Take care, brother.

bilpfeiffer · February 22nd, 2008, 12:16 PM

Tell your bass player: "no deposit, no return"; Then hand him a fleet enema along with a match box and tell him "this should cover any expenses if she dies on you" .Or on a lighter note, you could say "tag you're it" and Never look back. Not much help, sorry, Bil

Joisey · February 22nd, 2008, 12:17 PM

Sorry to hear this.

Separate the finances like yesterday. If you end up divorced you will be responsible for 50% of the marital debt.

If you still want her back don't pursue her. The grass only looks greener on the other side because there is more bulls***t. I would question her character but that is your decision.

Throw yourself into hobbies to keep your sanity.

Lastly, start leaving the toilet seat up.

Mojohand40 · February 22nd, 2008, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bilpfeiffer

Tell your bass player: "no deposit, no return"; Then hand him a fleet enema along with a match box and tell him "this should cover any expenses if she dies on you" .Or on a lighter note, you could say "tag you're it" and Never look back. Not much help, sorry, Bil

It's a sad situation, and I feel for you, man...but that "Tag you're it" line made me laugh out loud.
Dang that was funny!

Tele Fan · February 22nd, 2008, 12:34 PM

Sorry to hear that bro. I got divorced about a year and a half ago, and I've go to say it saved what was left of my sanity. I know it hurts like an SOB right now, but it may turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. That was what turned out to be true for me and I wish you the best.

guitarzan13 · February 22nd, 2008, 12:36 PM

Where do you plan on burying them?? Under the house or in the garden??

reverbbb · February 22nd, 2008, 12:54 PM

Just be glad that bass player has his own place to stay. The last thing you want is him moving in with you guys and carrying on like that.

giginthesky · February 22nd, 2008, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pengipete

Next time find a woman who can play bass.

i know 2 girls who play a real mean bass. they are beautiful, too!

FMA · February 22nd, 2008, 01:20 PM

I just want to give you some caution regarding guitarzan13's advice.
Just make sure you put them deep enough so the dogs don't dig them up.
Not that I'd know...Just sayin'.

jwc5 · February 22nd, 2008, 02:15 PM

Bummer Dude. I feel your pain. Similar thing happened to me except it was her boss. In hindsight, best thing that could have happened to me. I can only tell you to stay focused on the important things and keep good friends near you. They will help you through this. If you don't have kids, you're one step ahead. Just stay busy and think happy thoughts cause you're good enough, you're nice enough and doggonit, people like you (Stuart Smalley).

Bernie · February 22nd, 2008, 02:16 PM

Change the locks ASAP. Sends a message and keeps your stuff from being gone through when you're not there. Take care of the credit card situation if both your names are on them or you may end up buying the bass player that vintage P bass and SVT stack he always wanted. Actually, it protects both of you from "revenge buying."

fenderguy · February 22nd, 2008, 02:27 PM

Women are like buses one comes along every ten minutes... Bass players well...

TJNY · February 22nd, 2008, 02:30 PM

My only advice would be not to resort to behavior that can cost your your job or your freedom, or both......

Frankie · February 22nd, 2008, 02:46 PM

That stinks..

Have faith in yourself, you'll see it though..

Pete Galati · February 22nd, 2008, 02:47 PM

When you find another bass player, warn him about your wife.

MandyMarie · February 22nd, 2008, 02:54 PM

Whew...someone who would treat you like that doesn't deserve you anyway.

51tele · February 22nd, 2008, 02:56 PM

what a crudball------------when God closes one door He opens another

stevied · February 22nd, 2008, 02:57 PM

watch out for the bottle, it's pretty easy to drown your sorrows, i know first hand.
Steve

Tucson Bass · February 22nd, 2008, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Douglas_Holt

My wife moved out with me and in with my bass player. He was a good picker too. I'm gonna miss him.

Anybody got any words of wisdom I can use.

Thanks in advance.

Doug

That is awful. Do you realize how hard it will be to find another good bass player!

You'll be fine man! Play on!

February 22nd, 2008, 11:39 AM	#1 (permalink)
Douglas_Holt Tele-Meister Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Belmont, Ms Age: 59 Posts: 189	My Wife just... My wife moved out with me and in with my bass player. He was a good picker too. I'm gonna miss him. Anybody got any words of wisdom I can use. Thanks in advance. Doug

February 22nd, 2008, 11:52 AM	#4 (permalink)
woodman Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Mint Hill, NC Age: 62 Posts: 5,676	what a kick in the teeth! once you get out of shock, just keep moving and don't look back. __________________ Truth is stranger than fact ... www.myspace.com/woodymitchellmusic BAND PAGES: www.myspace.com/stragglerswing (Stragglers - Western Swing) www.myspace.com/loafersgloryband (Loafers Glory - '70s country-rock)

February 22nd, 2008, 12:11 PM	#7 (permalink)
vjf1968 Tele-Holic Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Philadelphia Age: 40 Posts: 634 6 Photos	I don't want to be talking out of my a** since I don't know you, your wife, and the guy she decided to shack up with or how long you been married. Any advice you get, take with a grain of salt. Nobody here knows what led up to this so all we have is your side of the story. Of course she has her side and somewhere in between is the cold hard truth. In other words, I am not taking anyone's side. Was this all of sudden? Where you having problems for a while? Could you see this coming? Have you two been to marrige counseling? From what understand (at least here in Pennsylvania) you have to be seperated for 90 days before you can file for divorce. Usually this starts from the moment you two stopped sleeping together onwards. So when you get over the shock, get a very good divorce lawyer. You may want to look for one now and have a consult just to see where you stand. Obviously this is going to be a very rough time for you so I hope you get through this with as litttle battle damage as possible. Try to keep a clear head and try not to let you emotions effect your decisions. __________________ "the cult aesthetic of liking only what's obscure is just as sick of being mindlessly led around by the nose" -Mark Mothersbaugh

February 22nd, 2008, 12:34 PM	#12 (permalink)
Tele Fan Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Louisville, Ky Age: 29 Posts: 1,341	Sorry to hear that bro. I got divorced about a year and a half ago, and I've go to say it saved what was left of my sanity. I know it hurts like an SOB right now, but it may turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. That was what turned out to be true for me and I wish you the best. __________________ Life is better when you just make it up as you go along.

February 22nd, 2008, 12:36 PM	#13 (permalink)
guitarzan13 Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: LaGrange, GA Age: 43 Posts: 1,204 8 Photos	Where do you plan on burying them?? Under the house or in the garden?? __________________ Practice make permanent!!!!....Perfect practice makes perfect!!! Chris B. Current Band www.productoffaith.net Last band as a bass player www.neonjones.com

February 22nd, 2008, 11:43 AM	#3 (permalink)
TeleBits Tele-Meister Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: san Antonio texas Age: 65 Posts: 123	Ummmmm.. Advertise for a new, Married bass player ? Other than that , hang in there..

February 22nd, 2008, 11:54 AM	#5 (permalink)
pengipete Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Gloucester U.K. Age: 47 Posts: 1,079	Next time find a woman who can play bass.

February 22nd, 2008, 12:15 PM	#8 (permalink)
FMA Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 1,059	Bass player, huh? Could've been worse. Could've been the drummer. Just trying to inject some levity. Take care, brother.

February 22nd, 2008, 12:16 PM	#9 (permalink)
bilpfeiffer TDPRI Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: hillsborough,NC Age: 54 Posts: 71	Tell your bass player: "no deposit, no return"; Then hand him a fleet enema along with a match box and tell him "this should cover any expenses if she dies on you" .Or on a lighter note, you could say "tag you're it" and Never look back. Not much help, sorry, Bil

February 22nd, 2008, 12:17 PM	#10 (permalink)
Joisey Tele-Meister Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern NJ Age: 40 Posts: 122 16 Photos	Sorry to hear this. Separate the finances like yesterday. If you end up divorced you will be responsible for 50% of the marital debt. If you still want her back don't pursue her. The grass only looks greener on the other side because there is more bulls***t. I would question her character but that is your decision. Throw yourself into hobbies to keep your sanity. Lastly, start leaving the toilet seat up.

February 22nd, 2008, 12:54 PM	#14 (permalink)
reverbbb Friend of Leo's Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Just Plano, Texas Age: 49 Posts: 3,609 33 Photos	Just be glad that bass player has his own place to stay. The last thing you want is him moving in with you guys and carrying on like that. __________________ "I come here to reflect a little."™ http://www.myspace.com/reverbbb2 Guitarist Praise & Worship Forum

February 22nd, 2008, 01:20 PM	#16 (permalink)
FMA Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 1,059	I just want to give you some caution regarding guitarzan13's advice. Just make sure you put them deep enough so the dogs don't dig them up. Not that I'd know...Just sayin'.

February 22nd, 2008, 02:15 PM	#17 (permalink)
jwc5 Tele-Meister Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft. Worth Posts: 227	Bummer Dude. I feel your pain. Similar thing happened to me except it was her boss. In hindsight, best thing that could have happened to me. I can only tell you to stay focused on the important things and keep good friends near you. They will help you through this. If you don't have kids, you're one step ahead. Just stay busy and think happy thoughts cause you're good enough, you're nice enough and doggonit, people like you (Stuart Smalley).

February 22nd, 2008, 02:16 PM	#18 (permalink)
Bernie Tele-Holic Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 504	Change the locks ASAP. Sends a message and keeps your stuff from being gone through when you're not there. Take care of the credit card situation if both your names are on them or you may end up buying the bass player that vintage P bass and SVT stack he always wanted. Actually, it protects both of you from "revenge buying."

February 22nd, 2008, 02:27 PM	#19 (permalink)
fenderguy Tele-Meister Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 178	Women are like buses one comes along every ten minutes... Bass players well...

February 22nd, 2008, 02:30 PM	#20 (permalink)
TJNY Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Orange County, NY Posts: 1,135	My only advice would be not to resort to behavior that can cost your your job or your freedom, or both...... __________________ http://www.myspace.com/ocbluesxpress http://www.myspace.com/tjny Last edited by TJNY : February 23rd, 2008 at 07:59 AM. Reason: Spellin' correction!

February 22nd, 2008, 02:46 PM	#21 (permalink)
Frankie Tele-Meister Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Findlay, Ohio Age: 50 Posts: 473	That stinks.. Have faith in yourself, you'll see it though.. __________________ Frankie Findlay, Ohio Glendale Pine Tele spanking a Blues Jr. Snatch it back and hold it..

February 22nd, 2008, 02:47 PM	#22 (permalink)
Pete Galati R.I.P. Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,104 2 Photos	When you find another bass player, warn him about your wife.

February 22nd, 2008, 02:54 PM	#23 (permalink)
MandyMarie Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Indianapolis, IN Age: 28 Posts: 2,413 65 Photos	Whew...someone who would treat you like that doesn't deserve you anyway. __________________ our wacky little hillbilly band

February 22nd, 2008, 02:56 PM	#24 (permalink)
51tele Tele-Holic Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: new orleans Posts: 521	what a crudball------------when God closes one door He opens another __________________ look at the pictures and laugh at the words

February 22nd, 2008, 02:57 PM	#25 (permalink)
stevied TDPRI Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: DeKalb IL. Age: 56 Posts: 46	watch out for the bottle, it's pretty easy to drown your sorrows, i know first hand. Steve __________________ Handle every stressful situation like a dog...if you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away.

February 22nd, 2008, 09:57 PM	#27 (permalink)
Mark Davis Doctor of Teleocity Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Bakersfield Ca. Age: 57 Posts: 12,262