I can't believe how lucky I am

petebradt · December 5th, 2007, 10:51 AM

The drummer in my band has an un-supportive wife. She's not one of those harridans who says "lose the band or lose me," but her demanding nature takes away a lot of time he could spend improving (and he's not bad now but he sometimes has precious little time to 'shed). It creates a lot of cognitive dissonance for him, and just plain ol' stress.

OTOH, J is so completely supportive, it blows me away. She's not the type to buy me guitars (which really, I don't need or even want beyond the Gretsch 6119 Tennessee Rose, and yeah, that IS a Jones) but when we had a big gig last fall, I was thinking of asking a friend to act as my guitar handler and she said, "hey, I'll do it."

She's hurt her back so she doesn't schlep amps any more, but she has in the past and she still will schlep my Baritone and a Tele.

If you have a wife or partner who is supportive and doesn't complain when you're off gigging, practicing or recording, and who will *always* show up for the important ones, work the merch table and never mentions a discouraging word to the ass*ole in the band you want to choke, treasure her and support her in whatever she loves. Because you have a gem. I know I sure do.

unclearty · December 5th, 2007, 10:55 AM

I agree wholeheartedly...my wife is one and only groupie, too!

superlightweigh · December 5th, 2007, 11:14 AM

My wife doesn't come out to the gigs usually, but she does everything else, including not blinking an eye when I bought myself an expensive new guitar on Black Friday...
She has a very good sense of humor about things and generally wants me to be happy, as long as I'm not "away too much"

Couldn't ask for a better girl

Stevie 202 · December 5th, 2007, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unclearty

I agree wholeheartedly...my wife is one and only groupie, too!

===================================

+1

My dear wife has been listening to me play for 20yrs and she's still my number one groupie (she's biased, of course)! Gotta love her!

Flat357 · December 5th, 2007, 11:49 AM

Lucky guys .
Unfortunately , i've had zero support in the musical sense in 17 years of being together , either by gig attendance or general understanding and what makes it worse is that lately she tells me she loves the drums

It's a petty the drummer already has his own , or he could gladly take the miserable tin eared cow of my hands

petebradt · December 5th, 2007, 12:18 PM

"Tin-eared cow..."

That was a chuckle. :)

PraiseCaster · December 5th, 2007, 12:23 PM

Peter, your a blessed man.

Thanks for sharing that.

RCinMempho · December 5th, 2007, 12:26 PM

My wife is very supportive, enjoys pitching in at an occassional jam, and can cook too!

Telelicious · December 5th, 2007, 12:32 PM

Its the rare woman that can bide her time in ANY WAY with her man in a band. You are indeed lucky.
Last band I was in broke up after the Bass Players girl gave him the "Band or Me" deal. Him and the drummer were best freinds so we didnt last long after that. He got Alot of attention from the "crowd" and she couldnt stand it.
I was over at his house just two weeks ago and I couldnt even mention music. All his gear is hidden away. Poor B*st*rd.

0le FUZZY · December 5th, 2007, 12:39 PM

...My first X-wife dent giff a rats bottom about my music of the band but she did copy a few songs fer me.

...Ole sweet thang now has and still duz support erry thang I dew. She films at gigs, helps in settin up and stans unner watt its all about with the udder girls and groo-pees. She did all the video tapes whence we opened fer the starz li kiss won (click) . She knows hoo and when tew film watt and beleeb me that really helps and the pros seam tew never noe hoo issa pickin lead or watt.

...I wood haff been lost and inna hoe nutter place in life now had it knott been fer her and our 30+ years together.

--30+--

...We haff never had an argument or even an unkind werd directed at each udder.

...Thanx Pete fer the chance tew giff praise tew our sig-niff-fee-kent udders.

0le FUZZY

ehren · December 5th, 2007, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Telelicious

Its the rare woman that can bide her time in ANY WAY with her man in a band. You are indeed lucky.
Last band I was in broke up after the Bass Players girl gave him the "Band or Me" deal. Him and the drummer were best freinds so we didnt last long after that. He got Alot of attention from the "crowd" and she couldnt stand it.
I was over at his house just two weeks ago and I couldnt even mention music. All his gear is hidden away. Poor B*st*rd.

man, that sucks. Some woman telling me not to play would be like telling me not to breathe. There isn't a woman on the earth that is worth that. Play da blues!

photoweborama · December 5th, 2007, 12:42 PM

My wife allows me to do what I want with guitars up to a point. I don't gig, and I don't play jams. I have a few times, but she will not go.

She did buy me my first Strat, which was a black MiM one... oh, and she did buy me an AmSer Tele, but that is it.

She also has put the directive down that I'm not allowed to sell any of my guitars. I think she has other motives. She has come to the conclusion that if I sell a guitar, eventually I'll end up replacing it. And that I'm going to buy several guitars until I find the magic one that measures up the the one I sold. So if I just keep what I have, it saves a lot of money in the long run.

I'm very satisfied with the few I have. Strat, Tele, my OLP with the GFS power rails (killer!), and my cheap Les Paul cone.

I'm very satisfied with my wife too! She was always very attractive, but the older she gets, the prettier she gets. I just like to look at her. At times, when she talks to me, I just start looking at her beautiful face and I get sort of hypnotized and don't hear a single word she says.

superchicken_VI · December 5th, 2007, 12:43 PM

I am indeed lucky, as I met my wife in advanced music theory class in college. She's a classically trained mezzo and does both soprano and alto work in church music. As I type this, one of her groups is singing for a function right now (her duo with another soprano, piano accompaniment). She gets it. She's in rehearsals more than I am (at least 2 nights a week most nights for her), and she performs out more than I do lately. She did get me involved with her duo so that they can take breaks during performances while I either play guitar or trumpet.

Yes, my wife is very supportive of my music, and was actually upset with me when I wasn't in a band. She's still pissed off that we're not playing any clubs right now. She bought me my Telecaster last year for our 10th Anniversary present and surprised me with it. She encouraged me to buy my Highway One Strat a few weeks back. She's a great girl, especially about music.

For those of you out there who are single and looking for a woman--find a musician. There are diva issues, but at least no hassles about you going to rehearsal or playing out.

Tedecaster · December 5th, 2007, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by petebradt

If you have a wife or partner who is supportive and doesn't complain when you're off gigging, practicing or recording, and who will *always* show up for the important ones, work the merch table and never mentions a discouraging word to the ass*ole in the band you want to choke, treasure her and support her in whatever she loves. Because you have a gem. I know I sure do.

I do & I know it.

But it's good to be reminded of it every now & then. Thanks.

bender-freak · December 5th, 2007, 10:46 PM

been with my present wife for 27 years...she buys me gear once in a while; guitars, amps, and has only ONCE ever "threw a coniption" about a guitar i bought cause we were somewhat strapped at the time....i never buy "behind" her back nor does she go behind mine...we both have our collections and hobbies....best one she pulled on me was a paisley Tele almost 20 years ago for my birthday...still got it and will keep it till i check out permanently...

we both tell the other before we make any major purchases, which i feel is how it should be....

i got a good 'un, and hope nothing ever happens there....nice to see an appreciation thread for the other "halves" in our musical lives instead of a bashing thread....

lewis · December 5th, 2007, 10:51 PM

In August my wife got me lessons.
I'm still a hack but if not for her I would still be at the same low skill level I had been at the previous 15 years.
Thank you Stephanie.

brandt · December 6th, 2007, 12:36 AM

I hearya, bro. My bride is very supportive. She comes to gigs (not all) and see even sent me to music camp last summer... Wait a minute... I got to go to camp and she had our girls and the house to herself for a week... hmmm... :)

Its good to have a supportive spouse...

ibobunot · December 6th, 2007, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flat357

i've had zero support in the musical sense in 17 years of being together , either by gig attendance or general understanding and what makes it worse is that lately she tells me she loves the drums

Get a snare drum and start doing paradiddles in the living-room...

JohnnyCrash · December 6th, 2007, 01:36 AM

My gal kicks ass.

To say anymore would be bragging when so many have stories that make me very sad.

On a related note:
She no longer borrows my '51 P-Bass, she says she likes her Jazz Bass with flatwounds better (tone-wise, but she likes the neck and frets on my '51).

Tim Armstrong · December 6th, 2007, 09:45 AM

A few years back, I was in a band in Ft. Collins, CO, and our drummer's wife had major jealousy issues, didn't like the ONE NIGHT A WEEK our drummer spent with us. She actually prayed the band would break up, and within a couple of months, our keyboard player moved to Oregon, and both Paul Honeycutt and I took summer jobs in Alaska!

Our bass player didn't have to leave town, as he wasn't actually very good...

True story!!!

Cheers, Tim

ps- congrats, Pete, and all you guys with cool wives! I gotta get me one, one of these days...

woodman · December 6th, 2007, 10:05 AM

mine is not only supportive of my other gigs, but she sings with me in one of the bands! needless to say, she's more supportive of those gigs than she is the other bands ... but she's always encouraged my home-builds and never balked when i needed to buy gear.

Steve G · December 6th, 2007, 10:16 AM

My partner is getting together with her mum and dad to buy my a butterscotch affinity for christmas!!

She also puts up with my inane gabbling about 'tone' and 'Redd' and with countless guitars and parts strewn around the house.

Aint that love!!

mad dog · December 6th, 2007, 02:47 PM

Pete: Congratulations on your good fortune, thanks for the chance to mention mine. Great thread!

My wife Mary is as supportive and with me in music as she could be. Comes to gigs, helps carry equipment, listens hard and has a great ear. She tolerates an amp, 3 or 4 pedals, plus 2 guitars in the living room (most of the time) For all that -- and for many other reasons -- I consider myself extremely lucky. It must be very difficult to love someone who has little tolerance for something that is real important to you.

emjayjay · December 6th, 2007, 02:55 PM

my gf's great too!

she's always encouraging me to play more, and has bought me gear for my birthdays and xmas.

she loves reading and has lots of different sorts of books, so whatever mood she's in, or whether she wants "chic lit" or a good ol' murder mystery, she's got exactly what she wants to read, and so understands why i "need" so many guitars and amps. how good's that?!!

oh, and she's recently started learning bass too!

December 5th, 2007, 10:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
petebradt Friend of Leo's Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Niner Country Posts: 3,392 12 Photos	I can't believe how lucky I am The drummer in my band has an un-supportive wife. She's not one of those harridans who says "lose the band or lose me," but her demanding nature takes away a lot of time he could spend improving (and he's not bad now but he sometimes has precious little time to 'shed). It creates a lot of cognitive dissonance for him, and just plain ol' stress. OTOH, J is so completely supportive, it blows me away. She's not the type to buy me guitars (which really, I don't need or even want beyond the Gretsch 6119 Tennessee Rose, and yeah, that IS a Jones) but when we had a big gig last fall, I was thinking of asking a friend to act as my guitar handler and she said, "hey, I'll do it." She's hurt her back so she doesn't schlep amps any more, but she has in the past and she still will schlep my Baritone and a Tele. If you have a wife or partner who is supportive and doesn't complain when you're off gigging, practicing or recording, and who will always show up for the important ones, work the merch table and never mentions a discouraging word to the ass*ole in the band you want to choke, treasure her and support her in whatever she loves. Because you have a gem. I know I sure do.

December 5th, 2007, 10:55 AM	#2 (permalink)
unclearty Tele-Meister Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: South central Mass. Age: 56 Posts: 316 2 Photos	I agree wholeheartedly...my wife is one and only groupie, too! __________________ uncle-arty

December 5th, 2007, 11:14 AM	#3 (permalink)
superlightweigh Tele-Meister Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Schenectady, NY Age: 43 Posts: 388	My wife doesn't come out to the gigs usually, but she does everything else, including not blinking an eye when I bought myself an expensive new guitar on Black Friday... She has a very good sense of humor about things and generally wants me to be happy, as long as I'm not "away too much" Couldn't ask for a better girl __________________ Regards, Dan

December 5th, 2007, 12:23 PM	#7 (permalink)
PraiseCaster Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Whittier, California Posts: 4,228 16 Photos	Peter, your a blessed man. Thanks for sharing that. __________________ Later! PraiseCaster Visit Guitarists Praise and Worship Forum!! Dance Like David, MySpace

December 5th, 2007, 12:26 PM	#8 (permalink)
RCinMempho Tele-Holic Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Memphis, Tennessee Posts: 745 2 Photos	My wife is very supportive, enjoys pitching in at an occassional jam, and can cook too! __________________ Thanks to sites like the TDPRI, I've gone from pentatonic wanking to vastly more sophisticated wanking.

December 5th, 2007, 11:49 AM	#5 (permalink)
Flat357 Friend of Leo's Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Cheshire Age: 40 Posts: 2,872	Lucky guys . Unfortunately , i've had zero support in the musical sense in 17 years of being together , either by gig attendance or general understanding and what makes it worse is that lately she tells me she loves the drums It's a petty the drummer already has his own , or he could gladly take the miserable tin eared cow of my hands

December 5th, 2007, 12:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
petebradt Friend of Leo's Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Niner Country Posts: 3,392 12 Photos	"Tin-eared cow..." That was a chuckle. :)

December 5th, 2007, 12:32 PM	#9 (permalink)
Telelicious Banned Tele-Meister Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Seattle Age: 44 Posts: 403	Its the rare woman that can bide her time in ANY WAY with her man in a band. You are indeed lucky. Last band I was in broke up after the Bass Players girl gave him the "Band or Me" deal. Him and the drummer were best freinds so we didnt last long after that. He got Alot of attention from the "crowd" and she couldnt stand it. I was over at his house just two weeks ago and I couldnt even mention music. All his gear is hidden away. Poor Bstrd.

December 5th, 2007, 12:39 PM	#10 (permalink)
0le FUZZY Doctor of Teleocity Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Kolly-forn-knee-ya Posts: 10,001 6 Photos	...My first X-wife dent giff a rats bottom about my music of the band but she did copy a few songs fer me. ...Ole sweet thang now has and still duz support erry thang I dew. She films at gigs, helps in settin up and stans unner watt its all about with the udder girls and groo-pees. She did all the video tapes whence we opened fer the starz li kiss won (click) . She knows hoo and when tew film watt and beleeb me that really helps and the pros seam tew never noe hoo issa pickin lead or watt. ...I wood haff been lost and inna hoe nutter place in life now had it knott been fer her and our 30+ years together. --30+-- ...We haff never had an argument or even an unkind werd directed at each udder. ...Thanx Pete fer the chance tew giff praise tew our sig-niff-fee-kent udders. 0le FUZZY

December 5th, 2007, 12:42 PM	#12 (permalink)
photoweborama Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Sacramento, CA Age: 50 Posts: 1,461 15 Photos	My wife allows me to do what I want with guitars up to a point. I don't gig, and I don't play jams. I have a few times, but she will not go. She did buy me my first Strat, which was a black MiM one... oh, and she did buy me an AmSer Tele, but that is it. She also has put the directive down that I'm not allowed to sell any of my guitars. I think she has other motives. She has come to the conclusion that if I sell a guitar, eventually I'll end up replacing it. And that I'm going to buy several guitars until I find the magic one that measures up the the one I sold. So if I just keep what I have, it saves a lot of money in the long run. I'm very satisfied with the few I have. Strat, Tele, my OLP with the GFS power rails (killer!), and my cheap Les Paul cone. I'm very satisfied with my wife too! She was always very attractive, but the older she gets, the prettier she gets. I just like to look at her. At times, when she talks to me, I just start looking at her beautiful face and I get sort of hypnotized and don't hear a single word she says. __________________ Best guitar photos on the net! photoweborama.com!

December 5th, 2007, 12:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
superchicken_VI Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Monroe, NC Age: 36 Posts: 1,291	I am indeed lucky, as I met my wife in advanced music theory class in college. She's a classically trained mezzo and does both soprano and alto work in church music. As I type this, one of her groups is singing for a function right now (her duo with another soprano, piano accompaniment). She gets it. She's in rehearsals more than I am (at least 2 nights a week most nights for her), and she performs out more than I do lately. She did get me involved with her duo so that they can take breaks during performances while I either play guitar or trumpet. Yes, my wife is very supportive of my music, and was actually upset with me when I wasn't in a band. She's still pissed off that we're not playing any clubs right now. She bought me my Telecaster last year for our 10th Anniversary present and surprised me with it. She encouraged me to buy my Highway One Strat a few weeks back. She's a great girl, especially about music. For those of you out there who are single and looking for a woman--find a musician. There are diva issues, but at least no hassles about you going to rehearsal or playing out.

December 5th, 2007, 10:46 PM	#15 (permalink)
bender-freak Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: springfield, missouri Posts: 1,292	been with my present wife for 27 years...she buys me gear once in a while; guitars, amps, and has only ONCE ever "threw a coniption" about a guitar i bought cause we were somewhat strapped at the time....i never buy "behind" her back nor does she go behind mine...we both have our collections and hobbies....best one she pulled on me was a paisley Tele almost 20 years ago for my birthday...still got it and will keep it till i check out permanently... we both tell the other before we make any major purchases, which i feel is how it should be.... i got a good 'un, and hope nothing ever happens there....nice to see an appreciation thread for the other "halves" in our musical lives instead of a bashing thread.... __________________ bender-freak

December 5th, 2007, 10:51 PM	#16 (permalink)
lewis Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Colorado Posts: 1,818 25 Photos	In August my wife got me lessons. I'm still a hack but if not for her I would still be at the same low skill level I had been at the previous 15 years. Thank you Stephanie. __________________ "I'm a maestro, I'm a maestro," Taj Mahal, 8/20/05.

December 6th, 2007, 12:36 AM	#17 (permalink)
brandt Tele-Meister Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SF Bay Area Age: 50 Posts: 193	I hearya, bro. My bride is very supportive. She comes to gigs (not all) and see even sent me to music camp last summer... Wait a minute... I got to go to camp and she had our girls and the house to herself for a week... hmmm... :) Its good to have a supportive spouse...

December 6th, 2007, 01:36 AM	#19 (permalink)
JohnnyCrash Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Lost Angeles and Orange County Posts: 7,128	My gal kicks ass. To say anymore would be bragging when so many have stories that make me very sad. On a related note: She no longer borrows my '51 P-Bass, she says she likes her Jazz Bass with flatwounds better (tone-wise, but she likes the neck and frets on my '51).

December 6th, 2007, 09:45 AM	#20 (permalink)
Tim Armstrong Moderator Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Berlin, Maryland, USA Age: 49 Posts: 8,888	A few years back, I was in a band in Ft. Collins, CO, and our drummer's wife had major jealousy issues, didn't like the ONE NIGHT A WEEK our drummer spent with us. She actually prayed the band would break up, and within a couple of months, our keyboard player moved to Oregon, and both Paul Honeycutt and I took summer jobs in Alaska! Our bass player didn't have to leave town, as he wasn't actually very good... True story!!! Cheers, Tim ps- congrats, Pete, and all you guys with cool wives! I gotta get me one, one of these days... __________________ http://www.moodswingers.org

December 6th, 2007, 10:16 AM	#22 (permalink)
Steve G Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: LeeK (England) Posts: 1,557 54 Photos	My partner is getting together with her mum and dad to buy my a butterscotch affinity for christmas!! She also puts up with my inane gabbling about 'tone' and 'Redd' and with countless guitars and parts strewn around the house. Aint that love!! __________________ "He was a drinkin' man with a guitar problem..." http://www.myspace.com/stevegiddings http://www.myspace.com/hiandlonesome

December 6th, 2007, 02:47 PM	#23 (permalink)
mad dog Tele-Holic Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 734	Pete: Congratulations on your good fortune, thanks for the chance to mention mine. Great thread! My wife Mary is as supportive and with me in music as she could be. Comes to gigs, helps carry equipment, listens hard and has a great ear. She tolerates an amp, 3 or 4 pedals, plus 2 guitars in the living room (most of the time) For all that -- and for many other reasons -- I consider myself extremely lucky. It must be very difficult to love someone who has little tolerance for something that is real important to you.

December 6th, 2007, 02:55 PM	#24 (permalink)
emjayjay Tele-Meister Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Blackburn Posts: 161	my gf's great too! she's always encouraging me to play more, and has bought me gear for my birthdays and xmas. she loves reading and has lots of different sorts of books, so whatever mood she's in, or whether she wants "chic lit" or a good ol' murder mystery, she's got exactly what she wants to read, and so understands why i "need" so many guitars and amps. how good's that?!! oh, and she's recently started learning bass too!

December 6th, 2007, 03:08 PM	#25 (permalink)
Steve G Tele-Afflicted