Living Will

[Rich Rice]

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said
to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the
plug."


She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my wine.

[boris bubbanov]

Strange they call it a 'living will'.

It for sure has nothing to do with your Will and Testament, don't put it anywhere near that document.

And it is about dying, not living.

Go see the hospital you most likely would end up stuck in, and ask them what they want, do the paperwork the way they tell ya.
They'll be happy to pull the plug, just give them permission in no uncertain terms, their choice of documents.

Ya wanna live? Don't pay the cable bill, life begins anew.

Bubbanov

[11 Gauge]

My wife and I skirted around this for years, despite losing quite a few people very close to us, for unforseen circumstances.

But it all changed when we became parents. Not only did we want it crystal clear as far as who would receive custody of our daughter, but also just what you mentioned.

I've had quite a few family members and friends who were kept going for a bit of time beyond when their body systems had failed, thanks to modern medical technology. It was clearly cruel to watch them linger.

I slowly began to realize that I never wanted to die in a hospital, or lay on a gurney for months while machines made me breathe, cleaned out my blood, etc.

I was relieved to discover that my wife had concluded the same thing. Our living wills now contain explicit instructions for no heroic efforts to resuscitate, no drugs to kill the pain at the end, no fluids or feeding tubes to stave off the inevitable...

It's interesting that you hear of the popularity of trends like natural childbirth, but not so much about natural death.

If I ever find out that I'm 100% indisputably terminal, I'm not going to do the hospice thing, or lie in a hospital bed pumped full of morphine. I'm going to rent a small cottage out in the sticks somewhere, go fishing, play my guitar, sit by a campfire every night, and simply let nature take it's course.

I'm with you, bro - all the way.

[woodman]

the part i hate is wasting what was probably some pretty good wine!

[woodman]

Originally Posted by 11 Gauge

let nature take its course.

that's a big +1.

[Tim Armstrong]

Originally Posted by 11 Gauge

If I ever find out that I'm 100% indisputably terminal, I'm not going to do the hospice thing, or lie in a hospital bed pumped full of morphine. I'm going to rent a small cottage out in the sticks somewhere, go fishing, play my guitar, sit by a campfire every night, and simply let nature take it's course.

Our drummer just lost his wife to cancer in early July, and let me tell you, with a heck of a lot of terminal illnesses, you won't be able to do any of those things for very long, and unless you hurry nature along yourself (not anything I'm suggesting, mind you), you'll come to appreciate a caring hospice staff and the wonders of pain management. Death may be inevitable, but that doesn't mean it's easy!

Cheers, Tim

ps- great joke, Rich!

[woodman]

wow, this thread has quickly broken down into a watershed between the lighter side and the darker side of mortality.

it's scary to know that we're born into this world doomed to die -- it's a condition of life. i've witnessed a number of tragic deaths and they weren't funny. but keeping a sense of humor about the human condition helps the living!

[Rich Rice]

Yep. I think about it quite often. Hope I don't have to see anybody suffer, and would hope that somebody would take the same way with me.

I was surprised with the thread's direction, too. It was a joke, but it had all kinds of underlying things in it.. ;)

[woodman]

Originally Posted by Rich@wildriceband.com

I was surprised with the thread's direction, too. It was a joke, but it had all kinds of underlying things in it.. ;)

yeah, it's like this is an issue folks can't talk about to anybody else. my daughters are freaked out about death -- when i talk to 'em about my possible demise, they say, "oh dad, let's don't talk about that!" ha! like it ain't coming someday!

i think we all need to be more realistic about life's only inevitability (other than taxes) and cope with it in its various permutations.

[tazzboy]

I think about living will and think of what happen to Terri Shavio in 2005

[woodman]

Originally Posted by tazzboy

I think about living will and think of what happen to Terri Shavio in 2005

exactly. a living will is a matter of signing a couple of pieces of paper, not nearly as complicated as a "will."

but if you fear death, you can't totally love life. laugh and know that even tho you're mortal, you're alive!!!

[Larry F]

I'd think through the do not resuscitate option. When I was in the hospital, paralyzed, last year, I had two brushes with death. One was a rapid drop in blood pressure--caused by my autonomic nervous system being out of whack due to my illness. The other was a blood clot in my lungs, due to my treatment. In one of the instances, I remember the nurse yelling to my wife, "Is he coded?" Meaning, do I have stipulations on resuscitation. Had I checked the wrong box on the form, I wouldn't be here typing this, happy, healthy, etc.

[11 Gauge]

I have thought long and hard about DNR and it's consequences, and I'm willing to 'bet my life,' for lack of a better term.

I base my DNR request on some horrific outcomes of family members, and genetics has been a big guiding factor with me. Many of my relatives have ended up in the ER with similar circumstances. Most were kept going with machines, and a quality of living of zero. A few wouldn't admit it, but you could see it in their eyes.

It seems blatantly obvious that dying wouldn't be easy without hospice and modern medicine. But some things in life weren't meant to be easy, at least not to me. Death is where your body breaks down and fails. I couldn't imagine it being painless, or easy. But I personally don't want the inevitable postponed, and I don't want to be zombified on morphine, either.

After being on machines for roughly 2 months after his liver had failed, they sent my grandfather home, with the machines, and around the clock pain management. He was hallucinating so bad in the last week or two of my life that it frightened me, and made me unbelievably sad.

I love life, and do not fear death. I just don't like the all too common scenario I see for someone who is "living while dying" in the hospital, by artificial means.

I also do not understand why it is such a taboo subject in the western world, or why we go to such great lengths to avoid it, only to end up glued to the TV set watching program after program about it.

I mean, I'm not proposing that anyone subscribe to ars moriendi, but there are definitely more natural ways to check out than others.

[guitarzan13]

Okay, now I'm just depressed.....

[tazzboy]

Ok here is Maxine's take on Living Wills.

I, MAXINE , being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine
chocolate
Margarita
chocolate
Martini
Cold Beer
chocolate
Chicken fried steak
cream gravy
chocolate
Mexican food
chocolate
French fries
chocolate
Pizza
chocolate
ice cream
cup of tea
chocolate
Chocolate
Sex
Chocolate

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

[Rich Rice]

LMAO! I'm with Maxine!

[boris bubbanov]

There's a lot of wiggle room in those DNRs.

When my girlfriend's Dad's heart failed earlier this year after several razor close brushes with death in the previous weeks, her brother and I had no difficulty keeping the compressions and the CPR we were doing going even though the ambulance guys knew the score, they assisted us in every way, they were very cool about it. We quit when Roger, the son, finally called it as his Dad was loaded into the ambulance.

And the death certificate says this wonderful man died at home, and that's just about right for me. One of the Greatest Generation, you know, the Purple Heart guy with an ordinary license plate. Miss him very much.


Bubbanov

[woodman]

dang, bubba, that's a wrenching tale.

bottom line, you can't bull$hit death, it's coming sure as you live, but you can sure as hell do all you can to keep life going.

sorry to break philosophical, just trying to reconcile the light and dark sides of this thread!

[macheesmo3]

I have this all figured out !

When I am diagnosed ( by three or four different "physicians") with some sort of terminal illness , I plan to get the morphine scrips , empty the bank account , and head to Vegas.
On the way I plan to stop at the notorious Bunny Ranch , for a little R&R.
After that , I am headed to the poker tables at the Bellaggio to play with the big boys ( I will also stop and rent myself a big obnoxious , godawful italian car that goes hellafast) . After I win/lose all my money . I am going to drive to the Grand Canyon( in said ferrari/lamborghini) get super intoxicated on the combo of booze and morphine ( and whatever the hell else ) and then I am gonna drive that sucker off the Grand Canyon at 200mph.

That's a way to go , not in a room , in a hospital ,with a drip (and an IV :-) )
i want to leave the way I came in , making a whole hell of a lot of racket and making the world go " who the heck was the crazy old bastard who did that ?"

[marquis de jonny]

Originally Posted by Rich@wildriceband.com

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said
to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the
plug."


She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my wine.

hahahahahaha~~~

damn, i'm learning from your experience and keeping my mouth shut! t.v. i can manage without, but the wine!?!?!?!

[marquis de jonny]

there's a lot to love in this thread...

Originally Posted by boris bubbanov

There's a lot of wiggle room in those DNRs.

When my girlfriend's Dad's heart failed earlier this year after several razor close brushes with death in the previous weeks, her brother and I had no difficulty keeping the compressions and the CPR we were doing going even though the ambulance guys knew the score, they assisted us in every way, they were very cool about it. We quit when Roger, the son, finally called it as his Dad was loaded into the ambulance.

And the death certificate says this wonderful man died at home, and that's just about right for me. One of the Greatest Generation, you know, the Purple Heart guy with an ordinary license plate. Miss him very much.


Bubbanov

Originally Posted by woodman

dang, bubba, that's a wrenching tale.

bottom line, you can't bull$hit death, it's coming sure as you live, but you can sure as hell do all you can to keep life going.

sorry to break philosophical, just trying to reconcile the light and dark sides of this thread!

Originally Posted by macheesmo3

I have this all figured out !

When I am diagnosed ( by three or four different "physicians") with some sort of terminal illness , I plan to get the morphine scrips , empty the bank account , and head to Vegas.
On the way I plan to stop at the notorious Bunny Ranch , for a little R&R.
After that , I am headed to the poker tables at the Bellaggio to play with the big boys ( I will also stop and rent myself a big obnoxious , godawful italian car that goes hellafast) . After I win/lose all my money . I am going to drive to the Grand Canyon( in said ferrari/lamborghini) get super intoxicated on the combo of booze and morphine ( and whatever the hell else ) and then I am gonna drive that sucker off the Grand Canyon at 200mph.

That's a way to go , not in a room , in a hospital ,with a drip (and an IV :-) )
i want to leave the way I came in , making a whole hell of a lot of racket and making the world go " who the heck was the crazy old bastard who did that ?"

i just want to grapple my life with the same vigour i hope to grapple my demise. God bless the f*****g lot of us...

[Tele295]

Originally Posted by boris bubbanov

Strange they call it a 'living will'.

It for sure has nothing to do with your Will and Testament, don't put it anywhere near that document.

And it is about dying, not living.

In the biz, we now refer to it as an Advance Health Care Directive. Generally it is part and parcel in an estate planning package, which may also include a Living Trust and a Will.