Mid-Life Crisis:

chet · July 10th, 2007, 09:48 AM

What is it? Have you or your spouse ever experienced it? I know that there are a lot of posters who are around the age that this happens so I thought I'd ask.
I don't think I've really had one. My next older brother supposedly had one but he's always acted so wacky that I don't know how they could tell.

Mid Life Crisis · July 10th, 2007, 10:03 AM

I guess what is meant by a MLC is that you get to a certain age - around 40 - and it dawns on you that you are approximately half way through your life, which to soem can be a sobering thought. So you go through a denial, by doing things that are perhaps an attempt to reverse the ageing process.

My choice of name is a bit of a jest as my family are always kidding me about having a MLC...playing guitar again, growing my hair longer, taking up running, desiring a fast sports car (no chance of that happening at the moment!) etc. Fact is though I feel fitter than I did 20 years ago, live a healthier lifestyle and my guitar playing is better now, so it can;t be a bad thing really.

Charlie Bernstein · July 10th, 2007, 10:14 AM

You feel crazy. You act crazy. You make huge life changes that haven't exactly been thoroughly thought-through and that make your friends and family think you've completely flipped.

When the dust settles - it can take anywhere from a year to seven or eight or more - you find yourself sitting in the middle of the wreckage scratching your head and wondering what the hell happened.

doster · July 10th, 2007, 10:19 AM

It's a feeling of "is that all life has to offer. Have I accomplished everything that I wanted to? Why am I working so hard at this age?" It's really hard to explain until you feel it, it seems as though your life has slipped through your fingers.
Guitars help and for the most part they are so much cheaper than a Mustang GT.

chet · July 10th, 2007, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlie Bernstein

You feel crazy. You act crazy. You make huge life changes that haven't exactly been thoroughly thought-through and that make your friends and family think you've completely flipped.

When the dust settles - it can take anywhere from a year to seven or eight or more - you find yourself sitting in the middle of the wreckage scratching your head and wondering what the hell happened.

Sounds like my brother all through his life.

Tnek23 · July 10th, 2007, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chet

What is it? Have you or your spouse ever experienced it? I know that there are a lot of posters who are around the age that this happens so I thought I'd ask.
I don't think I've really had one. My next older brother supposedly had one but he's always acted so wacky that I don't know how they could tell.

LMAO

isn't age 50 the "new" 40, these days? So, you still got a decade or so, before it hits....

Rocker AK · July 10th, 2007, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlie Bernstein

You feel crazy. You act crazy. You make huge life changes that haven't exactly been thoroughly thought-through and that make your friends and family think you've completely flipped.

When the dust settles - it can take anywhere from a year to seven or eight or more - you find yourself sitting in the middle of the wreckage scratching your head and wondering what the hell happened.

So, I had mine when I was 23.

That was funny and a pretty good description of it. Honestly, I don't think I'll experience one.

It effects can go on for years after the new sports car and lavish spending send you spiraling into bankruptcy. A MLC is a period of acute bad judgment, especially when financed with credit cards, second mortgages and personal loans. You've hit rock bottom when you start tapping the 401K to go bungee jumping with your new girlfriend (who is 20 yrs younger and a stripper).

FraKo · July 10th, 2007, 11:46 AM

1) at 38, when my elder son was born, I realized that one day I'll have to die
2) at 40, I crossed my fingers. I expressed the desire to live another 40 ys
3) at 42, when my daughter was born, I already knew I had to die, one day. ONE day, you can't die twice unles you're James Bond
4) two months ago, when my dearly beloved orange stain cat Pumi died of a heart stroke, I realized that nothing will live forever
3) at 43, yesterday night, I thought "damn, too many records and books... several guitars, two basses, a trumpet a some more stuff... I will NEVER have the chance to play or read 'em all!"
4) right now (still 43, of course) I realized that I'll never be able to play decently. But I may be wrong, you never know...
5) By the way, ten days ago we adopted a 2 months old orange stain cat. His name is Tom Jones III ("Tom" like the cartoon hero, "Jones" like the orange cat featured in Ridley's Scott "Alien", "III" since he comes after Henry Fielding's novel protagonist and after the famous "Sex Bomb" singer). Here's a photo, he's the one on the right.

Life goes on.

johnnylaw · July 10th, 2007, 12:38 PM

Ouch! Let us pity the teddy bear. Or was that kitten declawed?

curlyrick · July 10th, 2007, 12:50 PM

Here's the hot rod I got to celebrate my first wave of mid-life crisis:

It does not use up the earth's valuable nonrenewable resources and it will (probably) not leave me wrapped around a tree.

Perhaps when I'm 50, I'll get serious about this mid-life crisis gig.

studio1087 · July 10th, 2007, 01:01 PM

I'm 43. I bought a Hot Rod Deluxe and a new Les Paul when I was 40. I called it my Mid Life Crisis treat to myself. I couldn't handle the JUMBO frets on the LP....sold it and bought a PRS guitar. I guess that the LP became the evolving mid life crisis.

I don't really know anyone at age 40 who bought a red sports car, had an affair at the office, etc.

Pictured below are my big Mid-Life Crisis investment and the Mid-Life Crisis gift that I bought for my wife when she turned 40 least year (I told her that she could join Hell's Angels on her 40th birthday).

david henman · July 10th, 2007, 01:09 PM

...i had got my mid-life crisis and my battle with the bottle over with when i hit thirty. it included spending a night in jail, and a booze-free period of exactly one year, but i lived to tell the tale.

but i still didn't firgure out who i was or what i wanted until age 55.

-dh

Tim Armstrong · July 10th, 2007, 02:21 PM

I'm 48 now, and hope to grow up someday so I can HAVE a mid-life crisis!!!

Cheers, Tim

stevedenver · July 10th, 2007, 02:36 PM

i think im with tim .....52 going on 15.....guitars, big amps, hiking, parties with friends, beer, model trains, law...im so confused!....i dont want to play golf and have a mercedes and a country club.....

im not sure i buy the stereotypical MLC....

i think some folks go through periods where they may become introspective or more objective, AND taking action...sometimes desparate, sometimes impulsive, more often it think, after thing quietly brew and foement for several years.....

they evaluate, prepare, and execute...personally if chosing goals and then making them happen is MLC-ive had a few ...some as early as my mid twenties when i really decided to push myself professionally to grow, take risks and bigger responsibilities

then again having a family can be part of that same decision,

or getting married, or getting divorced-both seem to be decisions-its time to add someone to my life...whoops this wasnt the right call and i need to change....its a function of the road of life i think....(fwiw im still happily married and getting ready to send the kid to college.....wont be able to have the new car now for a few years-the equivalent of one for him for each of the next four years!)

i do think it is in part self evaluation....and it can be career, spouses, locations, life styles, or finally understanding theres a part of you that needs attention, be it having music in your life, or someone you like to be with, or getting away from someone you no longer like to be with, changing the things that reflect your 'image' etc-some are more dramatic or common than others

personally im down with the les paul and amp.......didnt hurt anyone , reasonable and likely to be fulfilling-i went with a F-5 fwiw........

Darrell · July 10th, 2007, 02:58 PM

I think it is the need to do a redirection of goals to one-self, after dedicating it others their whole life. Example, the parent who has spent a lifetime raising kids, now wants a sports car. This being the more common of the mid-life scenarios. Or the parent who no longer sees the need to be married now that the kids are gone, and wants to explore being single, because they never felt they had the opportunity to do so.

The second level, would be someone who doesn't take it that far, but does want to do some things that improve their own development, yes, "BEFORE they die". They say that is the common them, adults who want to do something they have always wanted to do, but could not due to other responsibilities like family, raising kids, etc...."before they die".

I did it backwards, I did most of these things before I got married. I really don't feel like doing them again...ie..sports car, girls, partying, etc.

chet · July 10th, 2007, 03:04 PM

I really don't know why people get these types of things.

I'm just happy to still be around- alive and kickin'! A lot of younger people I know didn't get this far.

jwsamuel · July 10th, 2007, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doster

It's a feeling of "is that all life has to offer. Have I accomplished everything that I wanted to? Why am I working so hard at this age?" It's really hard to explain until you feel it, it seems as though your life has slipped through your fingers.

I recently turned 50. With me, it was more a case of looking at my life and everything I still want to do. I figured that there is no way I have enough time left to do it all, so I have had to really decide what is most important and what I can let just fade away.

All in all, I am feeling much happier and ore content at 50 than I did at 40. I still have the same ambition and drive but it is more focused and realistic now.

Jim

furrfurrfurr · July 10th, 2007, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevedenver

i think im with tim .....52 going on 15.....guitars, big amps, hiking, parties with friends, beer, model trains, law...im so confused!....i dont want to play golf and have a mercedes and a country club.....

im not sure i buy the stereotypical MLC....

i think some folks go through periods where they may become introspective or more objective, AND taking action...sometimes desparate, sometimes impulsive, more often it think, after thing quietly brew and foement for several years.....

they evaluate, prepare, and execute...personally if chosing goals and then making them happen is MLC-ive had a few ...some as early as my mid twenties when i really decided to push myself professionally to grow, take risks and bigger responsibilities

then again having a family can be part of that same decision,

or getting married, or getting divorced-both seem to be decisions-its time to add someone to my life...whoops this wasnt the right call and i need to change....its a function of the road of life i think....(fwiw im still happily married and getting ready to send the kid to college.....wont be able to have the new car now for a few years-the equivalent of one for him for the next four years!)

i do think it is in part self evaluation....and it can be career, spouses, locations, life styles, or finally understanding theres a part of you that needs attention, be it having music in your life, or someone you like to be with, or getting away from someone you no longer like to be with, changing the things that reflect your 'image' etc-some are more dramatic or common than others

personally im down with the les paul and amp.......didnt hurt anyone , reasonable and likely to be fulfilling-i went with a F-5 fwiw........

man, what a great post. thanks Steve.

btw, i turn 39 a week from today, so this hit me in a great way and at a great time.

Furr

6942 · July 10th, 2007, 06:34 PM

54 on Saturday....and I STILL play like I'm 14!

Steve

voodoostation · July 10th, 2007, 06:51 PM

I saw my Dad go thru his MLC, and decided that wasn't for me. So, being the great spouse she was, my wife had hers a couple days before her 30th birthday, running off to meet a man she met on the internet. I fixed that. And began collecting guns and guitars. I'm just happy to exist, and happy that my wants never exceed my needs.

Charlie Bernstein · July 10th, 2007, 06:59 PM

55. I'm like Chet. More like one long whole-life crisis, though looks I'm well past the hump. Have had a zillion jobs, towns, and addresses. Never got married until last year, and it turns out that marriage (with the right person) really agrees with me. Right now I might have to choose between two jobs (the one I have seems to be fairly secure, but the one I'm considering is attractive), so I might be about to plunge head-first into the next episode.

If I were a ride, I'd be a roller coaster.

stevedenver · July 10th, 2007, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darrell

I think it is the need to do a redirection of goals to one-self, after dedicating it others their whole life. Example, the parent who has spent a lifetime raising kids, now wants a sports car. This being the more common of the mid-life scenarios. Or the parent who no longer sees the need to be married now that the kids are gone, and wants to explore being single, because they never felt they had the opportunity to do so.

The second level, would be someone who doesn't take it that far, but does want to do some things that improve their own development, yes, "BEFORE they die". They say that is the common them, adults who want to do something they have always wanted to do, but could not due to other responsibilities like family, raising kids, etc...."before they die".

I did it backwards, I did most of these things before I got married. I really don't feel like doing them again...ie..sports car, girls, partying, etc.

exactly nicely said-and i think theres truth to those point about having been 'deprived' and now wanting to indulge-i actually use this philosophy a lot with my son and myself-all things (more or less) within reason and within reach

chet · July 10th, 2007, 10:22 PM

I don't know if buying an expensive guitar qualifies someone as having a mid-life crisis. Guitars are just very easy to overboard about. I've trimmed my herd down and will sell my Les Paul during the next year. It was OK- I had to try one out.

chet · July 10th, 2007, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlie Bernstein

55. I'm like Chet. More like one long whole-life crisis, though looks I'm well past the hump. Have had a zillion jobs, towns, and addresses. Never got married until last year, and it turns out that marriage (with the right person) really agrees with me. Right now I might have to choose between two jobs (the one I have seems to be fairly secure, but the one I'm considering is attractive), so I might be about to plunge head-first into the next episode.

If I were a ride, I'd be a roller coaster.

You mean more like my brother.

Right....right?

July 10th, 2007, 09:48 AM	#1 (permalink)
chet Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: The Jersey Shore Posts: 7,573	Mid-Life Crisis: What is it? Have you or your spouse ever experienced it? I know that there are a lot of posters who are around the age that this happens so I thought I'd ask. I don't think I've really had one. My next older brother supposedly had one but he's always acted so wacky that I don't know how they could tell. __________________ In Brett & Eli We Trust!

July 10th, 2007, 10:03 AM	#2 (permalink)
Mid Life Crisis Tele-Holic Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Cambridge, England Age: 43 Posts: 586 6 Photos	Do you mean me...?! I guess what is meant by a MLC is that you get to a certain age - around 40 - and it dawns on you that you are approximately half way through your life, which to soem can be a sobering thought. So you go through a denial, by doing things that are perhaps an attempt to reverse the ageing process. My choice of name is a bit of a jest as my family are always kidding me about having a MLC...playing guitar again, growing my hair longer, taking up running, desiring a fast sports car (no chance of that happening at the moment!) etc. Fact is though I feel fitter than I did 20 years ago, live a healthier lifestyle and my guitar playing is better now, so it can;t be a bad thing really.

July 10th, 2007, 10:19 AM	#4 (permalink)
doster Tele-Meister Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 380	It's a feeling of "is that all life has to offer. Have I accomplished everything that I wanted to? Why am I working so hard at this age?" It's really hard to explain until you feel it, it seems as though your life has slipped through your fingers. Guitars help and for the most part they are so much cheaper than a Mustang GT. __________________ “You don't find a style, ... a style finds you.” Keith Richards

July 10th, 2007, 12:38 PM	#9 (permalink)
johnnylaw Tele-Meister Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New England Age: 51 Posts: 310	Ouch! Let us pity the teddy bear. Or was that kitten declawed? __________________ Its not how long you make it, its how you make it long.

July 10th, 2007, 12:50 PM	#10 (permalink)
curlyrick Tele-Meister Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Denton, Texas Posts: 105 12 Photos	No One Was Injured Here's the hot rod I got to celebrate my first wave of mid-life crisis: It does not use up the earth's valuable nonrenewable resources and it will (probably) not leave me wrapped around a tree. Perhaps when I'm 50, I'll get serious about this mid-life crisis gig. __________________ " . . . someone to do your dirty work . . ."

July 10th, 2007, 10:14 AM	#3 (permalink)
Charlie Bernstein Friend of Leo's Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Augusta, Maine Posts: 2,611	You feel crazy. You act crazy. You make huge life changes that haven't exactly been thoroughly thought-through and that make your friends and family think you've completely flipped. When the dust settles - it can take anywhere from a year to seven or eight or more - you find yourself sitting in the middle of the wreckage scratching your head and wondering what the hell happened.

July 10th, 2007, 01:01 PM	#11 (permalink)
studio1087 Friend of Leo's Join Date: May 2003 Location: Near Milwaukee Age: 44 Posts: 4,232 36 Photos	I'm 43. I bought a Hot Rod Deluxe and a new Les Paul when I was 40. I called it my Mid Life Crisis treat to myself. I couldn't handle the JUMBO frets on the LP....sold it and bought a PRS guitar. I guess that the LP became the evolving mid life crisis. I don't really know anyone at age 40 who bought a red sports car, had an affair at the office, etc. Pictured below are my big Mid-Life Crisis investment and the Mid-Life Crisis gift that I bought for my wife when she turned 40 least year (I told her that she could join Hell's Angels on her 40th birthday). __________________ JLG Carry On

July 10th, 2007, 01:09 PM	#12 (permalink)
david henman Tele-Holic Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: TORONTO Age: 60 Posts: 771	...i had got my mid-life crisis and my battle with the bottle over with when i hit thirty. it included spending a night in jail, and a booze-free period of exactly one year, but i lived to tell the tale. but i still didn't firgure out who i was or what i wanted until age 55. -dh

July 10th, 2007, 02:21 PM	#13 (permalink)
Tim Armstrong Moderator Doctor of Teleocity Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Berlin, Maryland, USA Age: 49 Posts: 10,295	I'm 48 now, and hope to grow up someday so I can HAVE a mid-life crisis!!! Cheers, Tim __________________ http://www.moodswingers.org

July 10th, 2007, 02:36 PM	#14 (permalink)
stevedenver Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: the mile high city Posts: 1,206 14 Photos	i think im with tim .....52 going on 15.....guitars, big amps, hiking, parties with friends, beer, model trains, law...im so confused!....i dont want to play golf and have a mercedes and a country club..... im not sure i buy the stereotypical MLC.... i think some folks go through periods where they may become introspective or more objective, AND taking action...sometimes desparate, sometimes impulsive, more often it think, after thing quietly brew and foement for several years..... they evaluate, prepare, and execute...personally if chosing goals and then making them happen is MLC-ive had a few ...some as early as my mid twenties when i really decided to push myself professionally to grow, take risks and bigger responsibilities then again having a family can be part of that same decision, or getting married, or getting divorced-both seem to be decisions-its time to add someone to my life...whoops this wasnt the right call and i need to change....its a function of the road of life i think....(fwiw im still happily married and getting ready to send the kid to college.....wont be able to have the new car now for a few years-the equivalent of one for him for each of the next four years!) i do think it is in part self evaluation....and it can be career, spouses, locations, life styles, or finally understanding theres a part of you that needs attention, be it having music in your life, or someone you like to be with, or getting away from someone you no longer like to be with, changing the things that reflect your 'image' etc-some are more dramatic or common than others personally im down with the les paul and amp.......didnt hurt anyone , reasonable and likely to be fulfilling-i went with a F-5 fwiw........ __________________ Im really a Les Paul guy at heart, but ..... Last edited by stevedenver; August 21st, 2007 at 01:25 PM.

July 10th, 2007, 02:58 PM	#15 (permalink)
Darrell Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Houston, Texas Age: 48 Posts: 2,528	I agree with much of the above I think it is the need to do a redirection of goals to one-self, after dedicating it others their whole life. Example, the parent who has spent a lifetime raising kids, now wants a sports car. This being the more common of the mid-life scenarios. Or the parent who no longer sees the need to be married now that the kids are gone, and wants to explore being single, because they never felt they had the opportunity to do so. The second level, would be someone who doesn't take it that far, but does want to do some things that improve their own development, yes, "BEFORE they die". They say that is the common them, adults who want to do something they have always wanted to do, but could not due to other responsibilities like family, raising kids, etc...."before they die". I did it backwards, I did most of these things before I got married. I really don't feel like doing them again...ie..sports car, girls, partying, etc. __________________ "Yeap, I like the American Standard Telecaster, I can even live with one a them PCB amps, and I even use one a them mul-tie-effects things too."

July 10th, 2007, 03:04 PM	#16 (permalink)
chet Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: The Jersey Shore Posts: 7,573	I really don't know why people get these types of things. I'm just happy to still be around- alive and kickin'! A lot of younger people I know didn't get this far. __________________ In Brett & Eli We Trust!

July 10th, 2007, 06:34 PM	#19 (permalink)
6942 Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Western Maryland Posts: 1,634	54 on Saturday 54 on Saturday....and I STILL play like I'm 14! Steve

July 10th, 2007, 06:51 PM	#20 (permalink)
voodoostation Tele-Meister Join Date: May 2007 Location: Midlothian, Va Age: 35 Posts: 393 2 Photos	I saw my Dad go thru his MLC, and decided that wasn't for me. So, being the great spouse she was, my wife had hers a couple days before her 30th birthday, running off to meet a man she met on the internet. I fixed that. And began collecting guns and guitars. I'm just happy to exist, and happy that my wants never exceed my needs. __________________ "The Blues is what you get for what you lost"

July 10th, 2007, 06:59 PM	#21 (permalink)
Charlie Bernstein Friend of Leo's Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Augusta, Maine Posts: 2,611	55. I'm like Chet. More like one long whole-life crisis, though looks I'm well past the hump. Have had a zillion jobs, towns, and addresses. Never got married until last year, and it turns out that marriage (with the right person) really agrees with me. Right now I might have to choose between two jobs (the one I have seems to be fairly secure, but the one I'm considering is attractive), so I might be about to plunge head-first into the next episode. If I were a ride, I'd be a roller coaster.

July 10th, 2007, 10:22 PM	#23 (permalink)
chet Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: The Jersey Shore Posts: 7,573	I don't know if buying an expensive guitar qualifies someone as having a mid-life crisis. Guitars are just very easy to overboard about. I've trimmed my herd down and will sell my Les Paul during the next year. It was OK- I had to try one out. __________________ In Brett & Eli We Trust!