Just How Tough is Chuck Norris?

goldtopper · January 11th, 2007, 09:17 AM

I've heard a few Chuck Jokes-

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep.... he waits.

What's hidden under Chuck's beard?........Another fist!

But this picture says it all....
Chuck Norris' Toilet Paper

weelie · January 11th, 2007, 09:55 AM

Oh, I thought you were talking about the guitar player...

Big John · January 11th, 2007, 11:50 AM

Tough ??, i'd say as "tough as a kitten", if he was any kind of a man he would have been posting here wouldn't he ?

BritishBluesBoy · January 11th, 2007, 11:52 AM

He's just a big pansy...

Igatron · January 11th, 2007, 11:59 AM

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Sarge · January 11th, 2007, 12:08 PM

Many athletes and movie stars could learn a lot from that man. A class act all the way. Sure, he's tough, but he doesn't go around bragging and embarrasing himself or his family like so many ***holes do now days.

Cyrithicus · January 11th, 2007, 12:35 PM

When Chuck Norris presses CTRL+ALT+DEL, he resets every computer within a 100 mile radius.

txspreacher · January 11th, 2007, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarge

Many athletes and movie stars could learn a lot from that man. A class act all the way. Sure, he's tough, but he doesn't go around bragging and embarrasing himself or his family like so many ***holes do now days.

Well said. He "puts up". Of course, one thing other movie stars should stay away from with him is acting methods. Nice guy, good role model, can't act to save his life. I hope he doesn't read this and decide to round-house my scrawny butt!

goldtopper · January 11th, 2007, 12:57 PM

Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T.

DougieLove · January 11th, 2007, 01:14 PM

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors

Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch...he decides what time it is

If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you...If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only second away from death.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of bacteria...Chuck Norris kills 100% of whatever he wants to.

They once tried to carve Chuck Norris's face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.

There is no theory of evolution...just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Reno Sepulveda · January 11th, 2007, 01:18 PM

he has his own random fact generator

stantheman · January 11th, 2007, 01:31 PM

I wish Dean Martin and Red Buttons were still with us just so they could "Roast Chuck Norris"!!!

A seriously great Human Being regardless of the Martial Arts Thing.
....plus he knows Christie Brinkley - now THAT'S impressive.

guitar mike · January 11th, 2007, 03:07 PM

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. To bad he's never cried.

Pete Galati · January 11th, 2007, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guitar mike

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. To bad he's never cried.

That's cause he doesn't know how well he acts.

markothefish · January 11th, 2007, 05:46 PM

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, Now ...They are just The Islands

NEPATelecaster · January 11th, 2007, 05:51 PM

Chuck Norris is a wuss...He probably plays a Les Paul...

Cyrithicus · January 11th, 2007, 07:17 PM

Actually, looks like a PRS.....

SixStringSlinger · January 11th, 2007, 07:23 PM

Cuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Ah yes, and he once ordered a Whopper at McDonald's.

And he got one.

SixStringSlinger · January 11th, 2007, 07:23 PM

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Ah yes, and he once ordered a Whopper at McDonald's.

And he got one.

Disastercaster · January 11th, 2007, 07:32 PM

Chuck Norris' real name is Melvyn-Eugene Punymeier.

Chuck Norris enjoys a good romantic comedy.

markothefish · January 11th, 2007, 08:39 PM

Chuck Norris decided it was a good idea to bottle his urine. We’ve come to know it as Red Bull!

charlie chitlin · January 12th, 2007, 09:10 PM

When CN dives in a pool, he doesn't get wet; the water gets Chuck Norrised.

Heather Anne Peel · January 12th, 2007, 10:17 PM

I'll say something about Chuck. He said that the most important thing in his life is mentoring youth and that "Walker, Texas Ranger" was hopefully about those kinds of values. He said that his message is far more important than his acting and that he doesn't consider himself to be a great actor, but that it's a vehicle for mentoring. He seems like a very selfless and good guy from what I've seen. Plus, he even had Joan Jett in a guest role on "Walker" back in 2001! I like the guy, he "gets it" from what I can tell.

Tdot · January 12th, 2007, 11:39 PM

Who remembers THIS? Waaaaah! Woo! Hya! Ahahhh!

Home Grown Tele · January 12th, 2007, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NEPATelecaster

Chuck Norris is a wuss...He probably plays a Les Paul...

Don't know about Chuck, but we know this guys does.....................

Bwaaahahahahahahaha

E.D. Patton · January 12th, 2007, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather Anne Peel

I'll say something about Chuck. He said that the most important thing in his life is mentoring youth and that "Walker, Texas Ranger" was hopefully about those kinds of values. He said that his message is far more important than his acting and that he doesn't consider himself to be a great actor, but that it's a vehicle for mentoring. He seems like a very selfless and good guy from what I've seen. Plus, he even had Joan Jett in a guest role on "Walker" back in 2001! I like the guy, he "gets it" from what I can tell.

+1

It's hard sometimes to separate the cheese from the whey, but I think that Chuck is the real deal. I've watched some episodes of "Walker" and found 'em to be almost corny, but if you look at the "meta narrative" you'll find that he's built a little moral lesson into every episode and they are all consistent with my values e.g. tolerance for others, non-violent conflict resolution (coming from Chuck!), caring for the elderly, community involvement. Good stuff, generally, and not often seen on TV where everything is glorifying criminals, or at least placing them at the center of the narrative.

I give him a thumbs up. He's a throwback, for sure, but a good one.

January 11th, 2007, 09:17 AM	#1 (permalink)
goldtopper Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell Posts: 1,002	Just How Tough is Chuck Norris? I've heard a few Chuck Jokes- Chuck Norris doesn't sleep.... he waits. What's hidden under Chuck's beard?........Another fist! But this picture says it all.... Chuck Norris' Toilet Paper __________________ ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

January 11th, 2007, 09:55 AM	#2 (permalink)
weelie Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Helsinki, Finland, Yer-up Age: 34 Posts: 1,959 12 Photos	Oh, I thought you were talking about the guitar player... __________________ <- I don't need smileys, I'm smiling already.

January 11th, 2007, 11:50 AM	#3 (permalink)
Big John Friend of Leo's Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Suffolk UK Posts: 4,879 36 Photos	Tough ??, i'd say as "tough as a kitten", if he was any kind of a man he would have been posting here wouldn't he ? __________________ If you are going to be a bear, be a grizzly !!

January 11th, 2007, 11:52 AM	#4 (permalink)
BritishBluesBoy Friend of Leo's Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Brooklyn, NY Age: 40 Posts: 4,724 62 Photos	He's just a big pansy... __________________ BBB.

January 11th, 2007, 12:35 PM	#7 (permalink)
Cyrithicus Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Oklahoma Age: 31 Posts: 1,020 4 Photos	When Chuck Norris presses CTRL+ALT+DEL, he resets every computer within a 100 mile radius. __________________ "When I was young, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not." --Mark Twain

January 11th, 2007, 11:59 AM	#5 (permalink)
Igatron NEW MEMBER! Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Bournemouth, UK Age: 26 Posts: 8	Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

January 11th, 2007, 12:08 PM	#6 (permalink)
Sarge Friend of Leo's Join Date: May 2004 Location: Pgh,Pa Age: 53 Posts: 3,549	Many athletes and movie stars could learn a lot from that man. A class act all the way. Sure, he's tough, but he doesn't go around bragging and embarrasing himself or his family like so many ***holes do now days.

January 11th, 2007, 12:57 PM	#9 (permalink)
goldtopper Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell Posts: 1,002	Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. __________________ ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

January 11th, 2007, 01:14 PM	#10 (permalink)
DougieLove Tele-Holic Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Elmendorf AFB, AK Age: 37 Posts: 707 3 Photos	Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch...he decides what time it is If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you...If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only second away from death. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of bacteria...Chuck Norris kills 100% of whatever he wants to. They once tried to carve Chuck Norris's face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard. There is no theory of evolution...just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. __________________ http://www.myspace.com/whiskeydowns

January 11th, 2007, 01:18 PM	#11 (permalink)
Reno Sepulveda Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Nowhere man Posts: 1,357	Chuck Norris is so tough... he has his own random fact generator __________________ "I'm just kidding about that really."

January 11th, 2007, 01:31 PM	#12 (permalink)
stantheman Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: White Mountains Posts: 5,071	I wish Dean Martin and Red Buttons were still with us just so they could "Roast Chuck Norris"!!! A seriously great Human Being regardless of the Martial Arts Thing. ....plus he knows Christie Brinkley - now THAT'S impressive. __________________ Somebody Loan Me A Dime

January 11th, 2007, 03:07 PM	#13 (permalink)
guitar mike Tele-Meister Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Akron, OH Age: 38 Posts: 297	Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. To bad he's never cried. __________________ I do whatever my guitar tells me to.

January 11th, 2007, 05:46 PM	#15 (permalink)
markothefish Friend of Leo's Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Greenville, Rhode Island Age: 42 Posts: 2,116 7 Photos	Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, Now ...They are just The Islands __________________ Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. Groucho Marx

January 11th, 2007, 05:51 PM	#16 (permalink)
NEPATelecaster Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Archbald - NEAR Scranton PA Age: 34 Posts: 1,155	Chuck Norris is a wuss...He probably plays a Les Paul...

January 11th, 2007, 07:17 PM	#17 (permalink)
Cyrithicus Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Oklahoma Age: 31 Posts: 1,020 4 Photos	Actually, looks like a PRS..... __________________ "When I was young, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not." --Mark Twain

January 11th, 2007, 07:23 PM	#18 (permalink)
SixStringSlinger Tele-Afflicted Join Date: May 2006 Location: Miami, FL Age: 21 Posts: 1,279	Cuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter. Ah yes, and he once ordered a Whopper at McDonald's. And he got one.

January 11th, 2007, 07:23 PM	#19 (permalink)
SixStringSlinger Tele-Afflicted Join Date: May 2006 Location: Miami, FL Age: 21 Posts: 1,279	Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter. Ah yes, and he once ordered a Whopper at McDonald's. And he got one.

January 11th, 2007, 07:32 PM	#20 (permalink)
Disastercaster Tele-Holic Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Dublin, Ireland Age: 20 Posts: 781	Chuck Norris' real name is Melvyn-Eugene Punymeier. Chuck Norris enjoys a good romantic comedy. __________________ Mighty Atomics, Garage Rock N Roll!!!

January 11th, 2007, 08:39 PM	#21 (permalink)
markothefish Friend of Leo's Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Greenville, Rhode Island Age: 42 Posts: 2,116 7 Photos	Chuck Norris decided it was a good idea to bottle his urine. We’ve come to know it as Red Bull! __________________ Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. Groucho Marx

January 12th, 2007, 09:10 PM	#22 (permalink)
charlie chitlin Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Bucktown, Pa Age: 47 Posts: 2,601	When CN dives in a pool, he doesn't get wet; the water gets Chuck Norrised. __________________ Dig yo'self http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm...6-bf3537901a07

January 12th, 2007, 10:17 PM	#23 (permalink)
Heather Anne Peel Friend of Leo's Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nowhere Age: 45 Posts: 3,000 3 Photos	I'll say something about Chuck. He said that the most important thing in his life is mentoring youth and that "Walker, Texas Ranger" was hopefully about those kinds of values. He said that his message is far more important than his acting and that he doesn't consider himself to be a great actor, but that it's a vehicle for mentoring. He seems like a very selfless and good guy from what I've seen. Plus, he even had Joan Jett in a guest role on "Walker" back in 2001! I like the guy, he "gets it" from what I can tell.

January 12th, 2007, 11:39 PM	#24 (permalink)
Tdot Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Back of the Wasatch, UT Posts: 3,913 55 Photos	Who remembers THIS? Waaaaah! Woo! Hya! Ahahhh! __________________ And now for some feedback: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE