Sad news in my community

chickenpicker · January 9th, 2007, 06:15 PM

One of my son's friends died last night, aged just ten years. Unexpected and sudden - he went to have some dental work done, and apparently suffered a brain haemmorage. His school held a special assembly today, and my son was very upset and clingy when we collected him this evening. We live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else, so this is a real upset to the community.

If anyone has any ideas for ways to help my boy come to terms with this, please post them.

maestrovert · January 9th, 2007, 07:10 PM

sorry to hear of it Howard.....that life is precious and all too brief is quite shocking to one so young as your Son....perhaps you may use this experience to impress upon him the need to make the most one has of the time we're given.....
and that no matter how long one may live, life is far too short indeed.....

lewis · January 9th, 2007, 08:09 PM

Horrible horrible horrible.
Needless to say, keep your son close.

teleman65 · January 9th, 2007, 08:43 PM

Keep him close. Give him time. When he wants to talk, talk.

Ben Harmless · January 9th, 2007, 08:49 PM

No good. No good at all. I feel like every other post I say it, but members of my family (one of whom is me) suffered from two hemorragic episodes in the last year. If we could have avoided it, we would have, but the upside is that it's brought the whole family closer, and I can only hope that it does the same for yours, and your community.

The most likely cause of a bleed in the brain that I'm aware (and indeed, what caused mine) of is a ruptured aneurysm. If you or anyone might be interested in more information (especially to help explain things to the kids) I reccomend the Brain Aneurysm Foundation.

Pete Galati · January 9th, 2007, 08:49 PM

That's tragic. Some dentist in Chicago killed a little girl recently with some sort of anesthesia.

I didn't lose any close friends at that young an age.
Tell the kid not to hold things inside.

woodman · January 9th, 2007, 09:12 PM

i feel it's important to talk openly to your kids about death. my mother died when i was quite young, and they told me she'd "gone to heaven." i thought that meant she'd be back.

death's a touchy subject with kids, though, because the thought that everybody's going to die eventually is scary as hell. if you have a trusted clergyman or school counselor, etc., it may help to involve them to explain that death is the inevitable conclusion to life -- tragic as it may be for one so young.

the clinginess may be part of his grieving process ... let it play out for now and see if he moves out of it after a week or so. just my thoughts.

RCinMempho · January 10th, 2007, 01:18 AM

Our boy lost his favorite pee-wee football coach around that age. He didn't play football again for a couple of years. He didn't talk about it much for the first few months, but gradually he came around.

I'd expect this to take some time. Your son won't be alone. A lot of his friends are going through this too. One way to approach the subject is to ask how his friends are handling it. That will give him a way to open up to you if he needs help.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.

chickenpicker · January 10th, 2007, 03:20 PM

Thaks very much guys. He's still quite clingy, but he's getting over the shock of losing his friend.

stinkymommasboy · January 10th, 2007, 03:29 PM

My best friend was hit by a car and killed when we were 10. I couldn't go to his funeral, and my dad didn't push me to go. Now and then I think about what would have been. I saw the change in his father. I never understood until I had my son.

January 9th, 2007, 06:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
chickenpicker Friend of Leo's Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: UK Posts: 3,060 14 Photos	Sad news in my community One of my son's friends died last night, aged just ten years. Unexpected and sudden - he went to have some dental work done, and apparently suffered a brain haemmorage. His school held a special assembly today, and my son was very upset and clingy when we collected him this evening. We live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else, so this is a real upset to the community. If anyone has any ideas for ways to help my boy come to terms with this, please post them.

January 9th, 2007, 07:10 PM	#2 (permalink)
maestrovert Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: West Branch Mi. Posts: 6,746	sorry to hear of it Howard.....that life is precious and all too brief is quite shocking to one so young as your Son....perhaps you may use this experience to impress upon him the need to make the most one has of the time we're given..... and that no matter how long one may live, life is far too short indeed..... __________________ Sing the Song Bro' Play on Drummer www.godonthe.net

January 9th, 2007, 08:09 PM	#3 (permalink)
lewis Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Colorado Posts: 1,922 28 Photos	Horrible horrible horrible. Needless to say, keep your son close. __________________ "I'm a maestro, I'm a maestro," Taj Mahal, 8/20/05.

January 9th, 2007, 08:49 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ben Harmless Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Albany, NY US of A Posts: 3,387 12 Photos	No good. No good at all. I feel like every other post I say it, but members of my family (one of whom is me) suffered from two hemorragic episodes in the last year. If we could have avoided it, we would have, but the upside is that it's brought the whole family closer, and I can only hope that it does the same for yours, and your community. The most likely cause of a bleed in the brain that I'm aware (and indeed, what caused mine) of is a ruptured aneurysm. If you or anyone might be interested in more information (especially to help explain things to the kids) I reccomend the Brain Aneurysm Foundation. __________________ "I think I'll go for the life of sin, followed by the last-minute, presto-change-o, deathbed repentance." - B. Simpson

January 9th, 2007, 09:12 PM	#7 (permalink)
woodman Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Mint Hill, NC Age: 63 Posts: 6,244	i feel it's important to talk openly to your kids about death. my mother died when i was quite young, and they told me she'd "gone to heaven." i thought that meant she'd be back. death's a touchy subject with kids, though, because the thought that everybody's going to die eventually is scary as hell. if you have a trusted clergyman or school counselor, etc., it may help to involve them to explain that death is the inevitable conclusion to life -- tragic as it may be for one so young. the clinginess may be part of his grieving process ... let it play out for now and see if he moves out of it after a week or so. just my thoughts. __________________ Truth is stranger than fact ... www.myspace.com/woodymitchellmusic BAND PAGES: www.myspace.com/stragglerswing (Stragglers - Western Swing) www.myspace.com/loafersgloryband (Loafers Glory - '70s country-rock)

January 9th, 2007, 08:49 PM	#6 (permalink)
Pete Galati R.I.P. Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,104 2 Photos	That's tragic. Some dentist in Chicago killed a little girl recently with some sort of anesthesia. I didn't lose any close friends at that young an age. Tell the kid not to hold things inside.

January 10th, 2007, 01:18 AM	#8 (permalink)
RCinMempho Tele-Holic Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Memphis, Tennessee Posts: 802 2 Photos	Our boy lost his favorite pee-wee football coach around that age. He didn't play football again for a couple of years. He didn't talk about it much for the first few months, but gradually he came around. I'd expect this to take some time. Your son won't be alone. A lot of his friends are going through this too. One way to approach the subject is to ask how his friends are handling it. That will give him a way to open up to you if he needs help. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you. __________________ Thanks to sites like the TDPRI, I've gone from pentatonic wanking to vastly more sophisticated wanking.

January 10th, 2007, 03:20 PM	#9 (permalink)
chickenpicker Friend of Leo's Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: UK Posts: 3,060 14 Photos	Thaks very much guys. He's still quite clingy, but he's getting over the shock of losing his friend.

January 10th, 2007, 03:29 PM	#10 (permalink)
stinkymommasboy Tele-Meister Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: maurice, la Posts: 288	My best friend was hit by a car and killed when we were 10. I couldn't go to his funeral, and my dad didn't push me to go. Now and then I think about what would have been. I saw the change in his father. I never understood until I had my son.