Rules for Men!

[Togman]

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side: These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

3. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

4. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

5. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

6. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

7. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

8. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

9. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

11. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football, Baseball, Golf, Films or Music.

12. You have enough clothes.

13. You have too many shoes.

14. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

15. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

============

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh

[jlrich]

Man, we could pick this apart forever.

[Cobra8272]

Right on Bro!
just now i can't think of anything to add - its sums up my thoughts perfectly.
I've just given a copy to my wife and i'm probably sleepingon the couch too!
Cobra

[moonshiner]

I just copied and forwarded it to the wife... the dog will be more comfortable than me tonight...

[blue metalflake]

I showed my wife a copy of something similar last year, and even went as far as to explain it was funny.

The humor wasn't noted, nor was the reception good. Some things are best kept to yourself!

[david henman]

Love is like a warm toilet seat, it feels good but you wonder who was there before you. - WC Fields

[woodman]

want to talk about feelings? for men, it's somewhere between good and bad. we don't have that microscopic capacity to pinpoint it to the infinitesimal nth degree, even if it were worth the time it takes.

not that there's anything wrong with that!

[firefrets]

I alway's thought rule number 1, was the women are always right, and rule number 2 : if in doubt, see rule number 1