Am I alone in feeling this way?

[the velvet catfish]

I am getting to a point in my life where I don't
want to go to concerts/performances where
alcohol is being served.

I attend these events for the music, not to
here the latest drunken fight over Billy joe &
Bobby Sue... and just as the cops haul him
to the car the obligatory "but I love him!"
rings out as the blue mascara runs from her cheek.

I had my share of those situations fifteen years ago
and I've put all that behind me. I don't drink anymore
by my own choice and I don't judge those who do
but I'd rather sit at home and tune into Jerry Sringer
If I wanted to see that kind of drama.

I'm not "better" than anyone else I just chose a
different path for myself. I lost some "alledged"
friends by choosing to let that part of my life go.
The real friends are still around.

I would pay a higher ticket price for some relief.
So, am I alone in feeling like this?

Jeff

[StetsonMan]

Not at all....I agree 100%.

[Cat]

Amen.

Cat

[Simpleman73]

Don't know how to answer this one. I'm the one getting lit, but I don't get into any trouble. I'm a little bit to old and to tired for all that drama. Then again I never liked that stuff when I was younger either.

One night the wife and I went to a Sports bar where a country band was playing, and a fight in the Pool room started. It seemed like everyone there under 25 ran to watch. While me my wife and a few other older folks just looked from are seats.

Anyway I'm happy we went tho. Those High School kids (I guess they let them play as long as they don't drink)were pretty darn good.

Oh the fun thing now to do when I'm at a show is watch all the younger guy's and gal's looking for that one night stand.
Some of them even move in herds.

[Scott S]

I'm still a drinker too, but at no point in my life have I dug the drama that some folks generate when they drink. Just no need for that.

[Joel Terry]

Are you alone in feeling that way? Not even hardly.

Joel

[txspreacher]

I often wondered if I was alone on that. Glad to see I'm not. Drinkings one thing...all that drama can go! You hit the nail on the head, Jeff!

*NOTE* This is not a slam/judgement on those who choose to drink, I just don't because of health and I can't stop if I start.

[eryque]

Not at all. I won't go to most of the popular bars here in Albany even if there is a band I like. By 1 AM there's always two testosterone-laden-backwards-hat-wearing-jackasses starting some trouble. I'm fortunate that most of the blues scene around here gets played in bars that draw an older & more relaxed crowd, or they're in one of the 5 smaller theaters with great acoustics. I rarely see a stadium show anymore, and rarely even have anyone spill beer on my shoes, much less try to start something.

[Dana]

Originally Posted by eryque

testosterone-laden-backwards-hat-wearing-jackasses starting some trouble.

We got em' too. They breed like rabbits around here. Only time I'm in a club nowadays is to play music.

[Oster]

I don't mind the alcohol, it's the people that bug me.

I've noticed that in the past 10 years or so, everyone out there has to be "tough". Everyone's a tough guy (with a twenty man cell-phone backup). Personally I think you have to look at our "irreverent" culture more than any role that one too many Buds plays. When strange concepts like honour, friendliness and personal integrity come back, I may feel differently.

[Telenator]

the velvet catfish, I am right there with you man! I can't believe how similar our experiences have been.

We only have so many hours of awareness in our lives. I want to be conscious for as many of those hours as possible!

[txspreacher]

Originally Posted by Oster

When strange concepts like honour, friendliness and personal integrity come back, I may feel differently.

It's a shame when we need someone to point out what should be obvious. You hit the nail on the head, Oster. Many of us are already like that, and the alcohol just intensifies it. We used to be a society that wanted to help our brother along....now we wanna "teach 'em a lesson".

Oh, and eryque, when you said

testosterone-laden-backwards-hat-wearing-jackasses starting some trouble

, that was hilariously true! Classyque!

[caster]

I've always wished there were more choices for live music than bars or stadiums. I like small venues, but some places just aren't worth the hassle.

We do have two cities nearby with restored old style theatres tha have bands occasionally. Seeing George Thorogood and Cross Canadian Ragweed next month at Durham's Caorlina Theatre. Beautiful hall with great sound.
http://www.carolinatheatre.org/venue...tcherhall.html

They sell wine and beer and the concession stand, but I've never seen the Drunk crowd there.

[Heather Anne Peel]

At 42 and being a non-drinker since May 31, 1991, I am with you on this one. It is rare that I go to see bands in clubs anymore, whereas in my 20s I went to 6th Street here in Austin several times per week (more when my bands were playing). Of course, back then I was a huge drinker myself, as well as a lot younger. Having reached my 40s, I can honestly say that I have "been there, done that" in terms of the club scene. The only time I go to the clubs/bars anymore is when my band is playing or to see local/touring musicians that I REALLY want to see, like Omar or Guy Forsyth at the Saxon Pub, for example. Otherwise, I'd rather stay home and play my guitars or work with my computers. Austin is the so-called "the live music capital of the world", but I have no interest in going to bars on a regular basis. Once in awhile is enough for me.
8) Heather

[Scott S]

Originally Posted by Oster

I've noticed that in the past 10 years or so, everyone out there has to be "tough". Everyone's a tough guy (with a twenty man cell-phone backup). Personally I think you have to look at our "irreverent" culture more than any role that one too many Buds plays. When strange concepts like honour, friendliness and personal integrity come back, I may feel differently.

We could have a whole tangent on how cultural devaluation of the American male and the "sissification" of our culture has led to an increased desire for young men to appear "tough", but I'm not gonna start it. :P

[OutlawSteph1975]

I agree with the consensus here.. I don't think it is so much an issue with alcohol as it is values. The tough guys as well as the girls around them lack self-esteem, self-control and pride in themselves. I've seen it too, and young people wouldn't act that way if they had all three. It's sad really.. I'm always afraid of being in the middle of some situation I didn't start and that keeps me away from some clubs.

[Charlie Bernstein]

"sissification" is not at all what i've seen around here in the past ten years - just the opposite. my buddy dwain said to me about a year ago (while he was deep in a love slump), "the only way i'll ever get a date is if i shave my head, grow a goatee, and get a cavalier with a cracked windshield."

he just didn't look mean enough to get a date. and he knew it.

it's a totally different era from when cool (as in laid-back, mellow, easy-going, simpatico, unflappable, level-headed, right-on) was king. now **** emblems (like the the iron cross) and pictures of calvin pissing on auto-maker logos, for god sake, are in style. "attitude" is a good thing.

i don't mean to be stereotyping. style is superficial - it says nothing about who you are inside. but it does give some insights into what's happening in society. so it's interesting that unisex clothes and love beads don't have the appeal they used to. these days, more people - men and women - put their psychic energy into looking tough.

where i live, the guys with the nine inch nails tee-shirts, pit bulls, and bad-ass gas guzzlers are fashion's cutting edge. and this isn't a complaint about nine inch nails, a group of terrific artists, or pit bulls, which start out as perfectly normal puppies. it's about an emerging culture with a to-the-bone need to project violence.

sure glad they don't vote.

[DlxNashvilleLuvr]

Originally Posted by Charlie Bernstein

sure glad they don't vote.

My comment is "no comment."

[staxman]

Nothing wrong with not drinking and not going to clubs. As for me, I love going to the Highway 99 Blues Club (live blues. cool joint) having a plate of chicken gumbo and tipping back a few livations. There are clubs with good music and well-behaved crowds.

The nightlife ain't no good life, but it's my life. Check yall later, I gotta go hear a smokin' band, shake my money maker, and have a few drinks(I won't be driving of course). Enjoy your evening as well.

[lobotomyactivist]

I'm in high school and I never wanna be at a show with another drunk guy again-I always feel like I've gotta shelter my sister or my friends and they're always stumbling into me and shouting obnoxiously and taking away from my concert-going experience. I'm there to see tunes, not worry about if I'm gonna be covered in vomit or have to deal with a 40 year old wasted bastard for 2 hours. I come from a family of alcoholics, I've seen the havoc it wreaks on their personal lives and marriages and health. I don't want to be reminded at a concert.

[Charlie Bernstein]

first, i gotta say, i've been drunk more times than i can remember (or can't remember...) in more bars than i can count, and i've never gotten into a fight.

i sorta think some people, they see a sign that says "bar" and they read "come on in and get punched," and they walk in and their dream comes true. all the fighters i've known, they've all liked getting their butts kicked, so they go get it done regularly.

it's like an old friend of mine once said about bridgeport, connecticut: if you go looking for trouble, you're sure to find it.

i hafta agree, though, some scenes are out of control and not worth the trouble. i stopped going to grateful dead shows when wine bottles started flying through the air, sometime in the early '70s.

actually, the only things i hate about bars are the prices and the smoke - and maine's smoke-free these days, so i'm halfway to a good time.

anyhow, just saw samuel l. jackson in freedomland, shaved head, goat, and all, and he was the king-size walking, talking embodiment of cool. so in a nutshell, i'm totally full of it.

i think i need to readjust my attitude. the truth is, this old world gets me crankier every day. yikes! i'm turning into my dad! (i don't think he ever got into a bar fight, either. only time he ever went looking for a fight was when he tried to enlist in the abraham lincoln brigade. he was 4-f, so it was no dice.)

anyhow, apologies if i pissed anyone off. if i did, you're cordially invited to come kick my butt. drinks are on me. (double shots if you vote.)

[David Barnett]

Not really a problem for me, since the kind of music I'd pay money to hear would not tend to draw an undesirable crowd.

On the other hand, I work in a bar that has live music, and the last thing I'd want to do on my own time is go to another bar.

[KC]

The ten years I spent doing sound reinforcement pretty much cured me of any desire to hit the bars. As my partner Tom Robinson said, it's just like working in a bank, except that they turn off all the lights when you get there and everybody starts to smoke and drink.

I've started going out to see live music again lately, though, and liking it again. Just needed a fifteen-year break.

[Simpleman73]

Originally Posted by David Barnett

Not really a problem for me, since the kind of music I'd pay money to hear would not tend to draw an undesirable crowd.

On the other hand, I work in a bar that has live music, and the last thing I'd want to do on my own time is go to another bar.

What bar is that? If ya have good bands the wife and I could come out. Unless im on call then I just don't go anywhere.

[xStonr]

I've been part of that "been there, done that" group for some time now and I can say that my going out to see live music has dropped drastically. I know I'm missing some good music, but I'd rather not deal with the idiots out there.

[Crazyquilt]

Ah, yes, the world's number one drug of choice. I don't much care for alcohol, and I don't generally like being around people who are drunk. Just not my scene. Never has been. Now a coffee house -- a real one, not some prefab, artificially cultured purveyor of burnt beans and lowest common denominator canned music -- that's something I can get behind.

Unfortunately, that seems to keep me from going to bars, which means I don't get to see many small live shows. And it certainly prevents me from ever wanting to play in one.

As for sissification ... please. Being a man -- being a human, for that matter -- doesn't require being a callous bully. It comes from being honorable and honest, two qualities that become rather more difficult when one's judgement is impaired.

[staxman]

Originally Posted by Crazyquilt

Now a coffee house -- a real one, not some prefab, artificially cultured purveyor of burnt beans and lowest common denominator canned music -- that's something I can get behind.

Man, this thread is almost clairvoyant in its ability to predict my activities this weekend! I slept-in late after my night out at the Highway 99 Club in Seattle and where did I go when I woke up?.... You guessed it-- that prefab, artificially cultured purveyor of burnt beans and lowest common denominator canned music, Starbucks! This is the Seattle area, so you can't hardly throw a rock without hitting a Starbucks. I had a grande vanilla latte and my wife had a cappuccino "shot through the top". Anyway, I know what you mean about lowest common denominator music. At Starbucks, I got a really cool, lowdown and dirty 60's soul compilation CD titled "I'll Take You There" with Otis Redding, Allen Toussaint, Albert King, Sam & Dave, and many others. While we were there, they played an eclectic mix of Miles Davis, Ray Charles, Elvis Costello, Johnny Cash, etc. -- common denominators you can trust!

But to get back on topic, The Crossroads Band at the Highway 99 was smokin' last night. No drama except for the wife and I dressed to the nines and cutting it up on the dancefloor. Good crowd last night. No hats were backwards and I didn't see any sissy people that I could tell( I may have seen a sissy at Starbucks this morning, but you can't always be sure)

Earlier that afternoon, we did a "pre-game" with some tequila and limes at my friends' condo in Rendondo-- hey, in the immortal words of Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffet: "It's 5 o'clock somewhere." Later on, with our designated driver for the evening, we cruised into Seattle and had that chicken gumbo I mentioned before-- so good you almost wanna slap yourself silly!

By the way, we were excited to find out Rosie Ledet is coming to the club in April. Have you ever partied down to a live, red-hot zydeco band? I know you folks aren't much on clubs and such, but yall should at least do some live zydeco once before you check out. Trust me, drinking or not, you'll be shakin' what mama gave you out on the dancefloor(or at least in your seat, for the hopelessly Caucasian) from the very first song. But then again, this kinda stuff isn't for everyone and I can respect that.

Bottom line: Whether you choose the coffeehouse(real ones), TV with a sensible soft drink at your house, or getting lit up like a cheap candle at the roadhouse, just remember: Life is short, so I say, grab it by the short & curlies and live it like you mean it.

[Sarge]

I think what you are describing is "maturity". There comes a time in MOST peoples life when things drastically change. It's a good thing! Though I enjoy a few beers daily, I can't stand sitting in a smokey bar surrounded by loud mouth loser's that 3/4 of the garbage comming out of there mouths is profanity and exaggerated truths. Then, once past the point of achohol saturation comes the self pity and pathetic degradation of a once proud man. The bar down the street from me, though the parking lot is always empty is full of people that have several DUI's, lost there family's, lost there jobs...but blame it on everyone else.
Anyway..I think that you are just "finding" yourself.

[Aen]

Yeah, I don't drink. I also have 2 kids, a full time student wife, a full time job, a full time band, a mobile production/recording studio, and a fish to deal with, so I don't get out that often.

Although when I do, it's usually not too bad, except the last time I agreed to be a friends DD.

It's crap like that that just solidifies the fact that Alcohol is a DRUG, it's just legal, and therefore socially acceptable and or celebrated.

[staxman]

Remember that country song that went:

When I quit drinkin'
I sobered up and I started thinkin'
You ain't that much fun

Sometimes you realize certain activities and people aren't worth wasting your precious time with.

Anyway, I slept on it last night, thought about what 's been said here in this thread, and I decided you guys are right. I've been an immature, intolerant, judgemental, self-righteous drinker and clubs are hollow excuses for entertainment.

I'm giving it up starting today. I feel like one of you guys now. I like myself now and dog-gone-it-- I feel good!

Thank you. No doubt, I'll need your support and advise as I move forward--real internet friends like you guys -- anyone who doesn't support my new lifestyle is no friend of mine. Drinkers are nothing but trouble and heartache waiting to happen. I QUIT!!!

Peace and hairgrease.

[the velvet catfish]

Originally Posted by staxman

Remember that country song that went:

When I quit drinkin'
I sobered up and I started thinkin'
You ain't that much fun

Anyway, I slept on it last night, thought about what 's been said here in this thread, and I decided you guys are right. I've been an immature, intolerant, judgemental, self-righteous drinker and clubs are hollow excuses for entertainment.

I'm giving it up starting today. I feel like one of you guys now. I like myself now and dog-gone-it-- I feel good!

Thank you. No doubt, I'll need your support and advise as I move forward--real internet friends like you guys -- anyone who doesn't support my new lifestyle is no friend of mine. Drinkers are nothing but trouble and heartache waiting to happen. I QUIT!!!

People have to chose what's right for themselves,
My decision to stop 15 years ago has given me the
ability to see things a little different. In my case, there's
no more gray area.. it's either right or it's wrong.
No more ruining apologies with bad excuses.
That's how my decision has affected my life.
Good luck and if I can offer any advice let me know.

Jeff

[staxman]

Naw, I'm cool. Thanks though.

[staxman]

Crikey, hold the phone. I just saw that "choose your poison" thread and already fell off the wagon!

Yeah, baby, it's back to the clubs for me.

Later.

[fontaine]

Every time i drink, your personality Changes.

Little ditty i wrote awhile back.. Two yrs. and
two months outta rehab and i don't miss it
and don't like being around it. I can take it
right up to the point where the cryin starts
and the "i love you, man" comes on.
I don't even wish i could drink and be normal.
I'm just glad to be shy of it!! Alive too!!

[Tim Bowen]

I enjoy a cocktail or two, daily, after the work has been done. I've not yet enyoyed a drunk person. I don't think operating a motor vehicle or a stringed instrument whilst intoxicated is generally a good idea. I've worked bars for thirty years; after my work is done, I go home; if I'm with the opening act in a bar, I catch part of the headliner's act, nod and wave on my way out, and go home. I don't like bars... too many freaks, for my tastes.

Alcohol is like anything else... moderation is key. Some folks really shouldn't be allowed to operate motor vehicles or cell phones, have children, or own dogs, regardless of any particular bodily intake. Those who are crass, insensitive, rude, clueless, or obnoxious, will find a way to arrive at said destination, sober or inebriated. It's the human condition.

The people who I respect on this planet come from a wide variety of perspectives and lifestyles. I have no prerequiste parameters for those with whom I can get along with, other than that of those who are inclined toward having a clue, being responsible, being respectful, and being kind.

[Charlie Bernstein]

there's a new bar downstairs from my office called delia's. i'll meet up with any of you down there, and i can guarantee there won't be any fights.

i pretty much stopped going to hear live music when the ticket prices hit $5. i'd rather invest it in beer.

no cover at delia's.