Just went to my 1st Al-Anon meeting - Telecaster Guitar Forum
The Number 1 Fender Telecaster Guitar authority in the world.
   

Go Back   Telecaster Guitar Forum > General Discussion Forum > Bad Dog Cafe
Forgot Username/Password? Join Us!
Notices

Bad Dog Cafe Hershey's Bad Dog Cafe is our Off Topic forum -- but NO POLITICS and NO FIGHTING. NOTE: Discussion of guitars other than Tele & Strat belongs in the "Other Guitars" forum and discussion of Music belongs in the "Music to Your Ears" forum.


Wilde Pickups by Bill & Becky Lawrence WD Music Products Amplified Parts Mod Kits DIY Amps, Mods, Pedals dallenpickups.com Warmoth.com seymourduncan.com


Forum Jump


Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old March 5th, 2013, 05:56 AM   #1 (permalink)
Poster Extraordinaire
 
1955's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 6,082
Just went to my 1st Al-Anon meeting

A lot going on, interesting, supportive, strange in some ways. The people were very nice, one gave me a book, one hugged me. They were very welcoming. It seems that the literature is centered around detachment, spirituality, self-control, reframing, and distraction. Reducing codependency and enabling behavior, and taking responsibility for your own happiness, despite being yoked with a problem drinker, etc.

Anybody have a similar experiences or insight? Thanks!

__________________
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." Milton Berle
1955 is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 06:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
Tele-Afflicted
 
Jonny_Quest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Manhattan, Kansas
Age: 51
Posts: 1,023
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1955 View Post
The people were very nice, one gave me a book, one hugged me. They were very welcoming. It seems that the literature is centered around detachment, spirituality, self-control, reframing, and distraction....
The same features of a cult that once claimed a friend of mine....
Jonny_Quest is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 06:20 AM   #3 (permalink)
Friend of Leo's
 
w3stie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: brisbane
Age: 58
Posts: 4,326
Good for you! There's an ongoing thread for us quitters right here;

http://www.tdpri.com/forum/bad-dog-c...ean-sober.html
__________________
FORTUNA FAVET FORTIBUS
w3stie is offline   Reply With Quote

Sponsored Links   #
Sponsored posting
 

Old March 5th, 2013, 06:22 AM   #4 (permalink)
Doctor of Teleocity
 
Jupiter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Osaka, Japan
Age: 51
Posts: 10,847
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonny_Quest View Post
The same features of a cult that once claimed a friend of mine....
__________________
Jupiter is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 06:39 AM   #5 (permalink)
Poster Extraordinaire
 
1955's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 6,082
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonny_Quest View Post

The same features of a cult that once claimed a friend of mine....
Point well taken. I was suspicious of the girl scouts when I was a kid:)

Sometimes replacing codependencies can trick people into believing they have solved the problem.

The interesting thing I noticed from the meeting was a resolute desire to change our way of perceiving and reacting to the alcoholic in our life (that perhaps will never hit rock bottom.)
__________________
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." Milton Berle
1955 is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 06:45 AM   #6 (permalink)
Poster Extraordinaire
 
1955's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 6,082
Quote:
Originally Posted by w3stie View Post
Good for you! There's an ongoing thread for us quitters right here;

http://www.tdpri.com/forum/bad-dog-c...ean-sober.html
Interesting. I do think that having a good understanding of the disease and the tools to deal with those who have it can be very useful, because sometimes we forget alcoholics actually have a disease (and often an attitude problem to boot) and it becomes difficult to be compassionate if we don't keep that in mind as they wreak utter destruction on their families and friends with their drinking. I've learned quite a bit about AA and I don't even drink.
__________________
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." Milton Berle
1955 is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 08:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
Doctor of Teleocity
 
Jupiter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Osaka, Japan
Age: 51
Posts: 10,847
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1955 View Post
Point well taken. I was suspicious of the girl scouts when I was a kid:)

Sometimes replacing codependencies can trick people into believing they have solved the problem.

The interesting thing I noticed from the meeting was a resolute desire to change our way of perceiving and reacting to the alcoholic in our life (that perhaps will never hit rock bottom.)
In my experience, one of the best things about Al-Anon is that it's a group of people strongly focused on supporting each other without getting all into your s&!#. Which is one of the hundred ways it's not like a cult.
__________________
Jupiter is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 08:58 AM   #8 (permalink)
Poster Extraordinaire
 
uriah1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: toledo
Age: 58
Posts: 9,170
+2 yr coin.....works great.....got peace back !! Got to find right meeting
though..some are just angry people not working it..
__________________
Apparently anything can happen today...Mark Twain
uriah1 is online now   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 09:07 AM   #9 (permalink)
Doctor of Teleocity
 
emu!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: From here to obscurity
Posts: 9,995
(I'm not a psychologist, but I like playing one on the internet.)

Congrats!

Almost everyone has their escape method from reality. If we didn't find a way to escape, it could literally drive us insane. As we grow older or when we get help from others, reality gets easier to face head-on...hopefully. My escape method was not alcohol, but it was just as confining.
emu! is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 09:13 AM   #10 (permalink)
Poster Extraordinaire
 
uriah1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: toledo
Age: 58
Posts: 9,170
by the by
Alanon is not for the abuser, per se, it is serenity and support for people with them in their life. (see AA,CA,NA)
__________________
Apparently anything can happen today...Mark Twain
uriah1 is online now   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 10:38 AM   #11 (permalink)
Poster Extraordinaire
 
Mjark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Annapolis, MD
Age: 62
Posts: 5,303
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonny_Quest View Post
The same features of a cult that once claimed a friend of mine....
Neither Alanon or AA are a cult.
Mjark is online now   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 10:38 AM   #12 (permalink)
Tele-Meister
 
Dogface's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Tn.
Posts: 218
>.The interesting thing I noticed from the meeting was a resolute desire to change our way of perceiving and reacting to the alcoholic in our life.

This. Cultophobia is not warranted.
Dogface is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 12:13 PM   #13 (permalink)
Poster Extraordinaire
 
vjf1968's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Philadelphia
Age: 46
Posts: 5,301
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mjark View Post
Neither Alanon or AA are a cult.
Actually when you use the "r" word and as part of the program you are approaching cult status. That is not saying it is a cult but pretty close. The "higher power" thing is also an issue with most as well.
vjf1968 is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 12:17 PM   #14 (permalink)
Friend of Leo's
 
dan1952's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Anderson, IN
Age: 61
Posts: 2,520
Neither organization is a cult. I have experience with both. However, be careful what you say in either group - confidentiality is given a lot of lip service, but don't bet on it.
dan1952 is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 12:18 PM   #15 (permalink)
Friend of Leo's
 
TJNY's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Orange County, NY
Posts: 3,971
No, but good luck to you and yours!

Last edited by TJNY; March 5th, 2013 at 12:31 PM. Reason: Whoops
TJNY is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 12:22 PM   #16 (permalink)
Tele-Holic
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Jackson, WY
Age: 47
Posts: 806
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonny_Quest View Post
The same features of a cult that once claimed a friend of mine....
The difference is that with any 12 step program, you can take it or leave it. Or just 'take what you need, and leave the rest'.
Whatever you think, believe, or do is up to you, not anyone else.
You don't have to believe in anything, and attendance is irrelevant.
It's free, and apolitical.
The polar opposite of ANY 'cult'.
I don't attend any, but I respect those that do, it has saved millions from misery, think of the alternative.
rideit is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 12:24 PM   #17 (permalink)
Tele-Afflicted
 
Fendrcaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Milledgeville, Georgia
Age: 64
Posts: 1,913
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJNY View Post
No, but good luck on your journey to sobriety!
1955 stated that he does not drink; I guess he went as an observer.

Sent from my iPad using TDPRI
__________________
I did a Google search of the letter "e". The whole internet froze up.
Fendrcaster is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 12:28 PM   #18 (permalink)
Tele-Holic
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Jackson, WY
Age: 47
Posts: 806
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fendrcaster View Post
1955 stated that he does not drink; I guess he went as an observer.

Sent from my iPad using TDPRI
Al-anon isn't for people who drink.
rideit is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 12:30 PM   #19 (permalink)
Friend of Leo's
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Mexico
Age: 34
Posts: 2,927
I grew up with an alcoholic stepdad. I wish my mom had gotten us in to something like that, but she refused to acknowledge he had a problem (a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best between lunch and 3:00 meant he just liked beer). I'm glad you're getting help for yourself, you can't make someone change, no matter how much you love them.

Feel free to shoot me a pm if you want. I'm not trained or anything, but sometimes it helps to talk.
stnmtthw is offline   Reply With Quote

Old March 5th, 2013, 12:31 PM   #20 (permalink)
Poster Extraordinaire
 
Mjark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Annapolis, MD
Age: 62
Posts: 5,303
Quote:
Originally Posted by vjf1968 View Post
Actually when you use the "r" word and as part of the program you are approaching cult status. That is not saying it is a cult but pretty close. The "higher power" thing is also an issue with most as well.
I don't want to derail this thread so I'll only say there's effective help at either entity for those who want it.
Mjark is online now   Reply With Quote

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Forum Jump


» Random Photo for Guests
1968 Tele/Esquire User Manual
Untitled Document



 


Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2



IMPORTANT:Treat everyone here with respect, no matter how difficult! No sex, drug, political, religion or hate discussion permitted here.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0 RC 2
© TDPRI.COM 1999 - 2014 All rights reserved.