Just went to my 1st Al-Anon meeting

[1955]

A lot going on, interesting, supportive, strange in some ways. The people were very nice, one gave me a book, one hugged me. They were very welcoming. It seems that the literature is centered around detachment, spirituality, self-control, reframing, and distraction. Reducing codependency and enabling behavior, and taking responsibility for your own happiness, despite being yoked with a problem drinker, etc.

Anybody have a similar experiences or insight? Thanks!

[Jonny_Quest]

Originally Posted by 1955

The people were very nice, one gave me a book, one hugged me. They were very welcoming. It seems that the literature is centered around detachment, spirituality, self-control, reframing, and distraction....

The same features of a cult that once claimed a friend of mine....

[w3stie]

Good for you! There's an ongoing thread for us quitters right here;

http://www.tdpri.com/forum/bad-dog-c...ean-sober.html

[Jupiter]

Originally Posted by Jonny_Quest

The same features of a cult that once claimed a friend of mine....

[1955]

Originally Posted by Jonny_Quest

The same features of a cult that once claimed a friend of mine....

Point well taken. I was suspicious of the girl scouts when I was a kid:)

Sometimes replacing codependencies can trick people into believing they have solved the problem.

The interesting thing I noticed from the meeting was a resolute desire to change our way of perceiving and reacting to the alcoholic in our life (that perhaps will never hit rock bottom.)

[1955]

Originally Posted by w3stie

Good for you! There's an ongoing thread for us quitters right here;

http://www.tdpri.com/forum/bad-dog-c...ean-sober.html

Interesting. I do think that having a good understanding of the disease and the tools to deal with those who have it can be very useful, because sometimes we forget alcoholics actually have a disease (and often an attitude problem to boot) and it becomes difficult to be compassionate if we don't keep that in mind as they wreak utter destruction on their families and friends with their drinking. I've learned quite a bit about AA and I don't even drink.

[Jupiter]

Originally Posted by 1955

Point well taken. I was suspicious of the girl scouts when I was a kid:)

Sometimes replacing codependencies can trick people into believing they have solved the problem.

The interesting thing I noticed from the meeting was a resolute desire to change our way of perceiving and reacting to the alcoholic in our life (that perhaps will never hit rock bottom.)

In my experience, one of the best things about Al-Anon is that it's a group of people strongly focused on supporting each other without getting all into your s&!#. Which is one of the hundred ways it's not like a cult.

[uriah1]

+2 yr coin.....works great.....got peace back !! Got to find right meeting
though..some are just angry people not working it..

[emu!]

(I'm not a psychologist, but I like playing one on the internet.)

Congrats!

Almost everyone has their escape method from reality. If we didn't find a way to escape, it could literally drive us insane. As we grow older or when we get help from others, reality gets easier to face head-on...hopefully. My escape method was not alcohol, but it was just as confining.

[uriah1]

by the by
Alanon is not for the abuser, per se, it is serenity and support for people with them in their life. (see AA,CA,NA)

[Mjark]

Originally Posted by Jonny_Quest

The same features of a cult that once claimed a friend of mine....

Neither Alanon or AA are a cult.

[Dogface]

>.The interesting thing I noticed from the meeting was a resolute desire to change our way of perceiving and reacting to the alcoholic in our life.

This. Cultophobia is not warranted.

[vjf1968]

Originally Posted by Mjark

Neither Alanon or AA are a cult.

Actually when you use the "r" word and as part of the program you are approaching cult status. That is not saying it is a cult but pretty close. The "higher power" thing is also an issue with most as well.

[dan1952]

Neither organization is a cult. I have experience with both. However, be careful what you say in either group - confidentiality is given a lot of lip service, but don't bet on it.

[TJNY]

No, but good luck to you and yours!

[rideit]

Originally Posted by Jonny_Quest

The same features of a cult that once claimed a friend of mine....

The difference is that with any 12 step program, you can take it or leave it. Or just 'take what you need, and leave the rest'.
Whatever you think, believe, or do is up to you, not anyone else.
You don't have to believe in anything, and attendance is irrelevant.
It's free, and apolitical.
The polar opposite of ANY 'cult'.
I don't attend any, but I respect those that do, it has saved millions from misery, think of the alternative.

[Fendrcaster]

Originally Posted by TJNY

No, but good luck on your journey to sobriety!

1955 stated that he does not drink; I guess he went as an observer.

Sent from my iPad using TDPRI

[rideit]

Originally Posted by Fendrcaster

1955 stated that he does not drink; I guess he went as an observer.

Sent from my iPad using TDPRI

Al-anon isn't for people who drink.

[stnmtthw]

I grew up with an alcoholic stepdad. I wish my mom had gotten us in to something like that, but she refused to acknowledge he had a problem (a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best between lunch and 3:00 meant he just liked beer). I'm glad you're getting help for yourself, you can't make someone change, no matter how much you love them.

Feel free to shoot me a pm if you want. I'm not trained or anything, but sometimes it helps to talk.

[Mjark]

Originally Posted by vjf1968

Actually when you use the "r" word and as part of the program you are approaching cult status. That is not saying it is a cult but pretty close. The "higher power" thing is also an issue with most as well.

I don't want to derail this thread so I'll only say there's effective help at either entity for those who want it.