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Old December 2nd, 2012, 09:54 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Can't you control your {fill-in-the-blank}???

Since we're crossing Rubicons all over BDC, I'll add my own neurosis to the pile. Not scrambled eggs or toenail clippings, but it's early ...

When SWMBO does what SWMBO does best -- which is do what she pleases and ignores rules she thinks are silly -- I find myself in the awkward {and ironic} situation of being the grown-up in the pairing. And when whatever authority figure (police, TSA, port security, lifeguard, etc.) gets involved, aside from chiding her, I usually get either the look or the direct comment "Sir, you need to control your wife ..." Like, oh yeah ... someone controls SWMBO.

Example: Flight Attendant says "turn off all electronic devices" and further clarifies that statement by saying "if it has an on/off switch, switch it off NOW." And SWMBO keeps reading her Kindle book on her iPhone, and the FA comes buy to tell her to SHUT IT OFF and gives me the look that says: Are you with her? Can't you control her???

Now before you start recommending marriage counseling or lawyers, please ... this is not just a function with one's spouse (male or female). It happens with kids that act up -- and I'm not talking tantruming 6-year-olds, I'm talking 6'3" 190-lbs of had-too-many-MaiTai-and-wants-to-fight-the-Physics-professor-at-the-BBQ party. It happens when my 90-year-old mother refers to a gay person {loudly} in public using a particular word not really socially acceptable in this day and age (if it ever were in any day and age).

What do you do? How do you respond when someone decides that while you were minding your own business, you should've been minding a family member's? Or paraphrasing the immortal words of the USMC-RD DI from FMJ: I will not punish her, I will punish you instead!

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Old December 2nd, 2012, 10:05 AM   #2 (permalink)
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That's a tough one; controlling a grown female SO person? Whew!

On the few rare occasions when I have been in that situation, fortunately, a quietly voiced request to "Name-of-loved-one", just ____________________ "fill-in-the-blank-with the desired behavior" sufficed to elicit compliance.
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Old December 2nd, 2012, 10:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
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You can't just "mind your own business" when your wife is doing things that irk the people around her, especially if she's breaking rules that are there for the safety of everyone (such as not using electronic devices on planes during takeoffs/landings). Aside from reprogramming her mindset (fat chance of that), you're just going to have to accept the fact that part of your role as her husband is that you will be held accountable when she refuses to be.
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