Family Wedding Drama : We're not going - would you ?

[Mike Eskimo]

I have 8 brothers and sisters.

Combined we've had 25 kids amongst all of us. (My son, at 10, is the youngest.)

One of the 25 is getting married tomorrow*.

On the invite it said "Adult wedding - thank you".

Upshot ? The only son or daughter excluded from the wedding is my son.

All of my brothers and sisters will be there with their kids.

But not us.

So - we're not going.

Almost all my siblings are shocked we won't be there on my nephew's big day.

A couple of my sisters understand.

The rest don't.

But then again, they'll be there with their complete families.


*Full disclosure : My sister who is the mother of the groom and I have been on the outs because of derogatory things she's said about my wife's profession (the profession most under fire these days) and about her being overpaid and lazy.

I ain't sweatin' it.

There's a lot of nieces and nephews...

[Tonemonkey]

Speak to the Bride and Groom. No drama. They will invite you or otherwise. Then you can say ( if applicable) that you weren't invited.

[Space Pickle]

Is your wife a teacher?

[AndyLowry]

Your wife is a presidential candidate?

[scrapyardblue]

I've seen adults only when there was a need to cut numbers and I've seen adults only when they didn't want little kids running all over the place, but there is no better event to get family together than a wedding. I can't see excluding one person from the immediate family.

I like Tonemonkey's advice. Speak to the bride and groom and make your decision accordingly.

[NashvilleDeluxe]

Your wife is the promoter for Nickelback?

[Mike Eskimo]

We were invited - our son wasn't.

All of my brothers and sisters will be there with ALL of their kids.

Meaning : our only child is the only one in the family NOT invited.

Whether or not that has to do w/ my sister's wish that our family income was halved I'm not sure.

My mom (Matriarch w/ a capital "M") has been gone almost 7 years but I know she'd have something to say as well if she were here.

[Joe Sailor]

Originally Posted by scrapyardblue

I've seen adults only when there was a need to cut numbers and I've seen adults only when they didn't want little kids running all over the place, but there is no better event to get family together than a wedding. I can't see excluding one person from the immediate family.

This. I hate family drama at weddings.

[voodoostation]

I don't do weddings or funerals any more, they usually end up the same way, running out of booze, someone puking, fist fights and hand cuffs. Just 'cause they're family don't mean you have to like them. I keep my family at arm's length, well, about 176000 arm's lengths.

[BigDaddyLH]

Your wife is Gary Bettman?

[BigDaddyLH]

Originally Posted by voodoostation

I don't do weddings or funerals any more, they usually end up the same way, running out of booze, someone puking, fist fights and hand cuffs. Just 'cause they're family don't mean you have to like them. I keep my family at arm's length, well, about 176000 arm's lengths.

I haven't been to a wedding, much less a funeral, that ended with handcuffs. I guess we're just not trying hard enough.

[voodooblues]

I don't hold it against you for not going. I'd be irate if someone pulled something like that with me, especially someone within my own family. My attitude is that my immediate family comes first before anything else. As voodoostation said, just because they're family doesn't mean you have to like them, or even stand by and pretend to like them while they pull a pretty garbage maneuver like this.

[tpaul]

You should have your wife sue for emotional distress damages (from what you said, I'm assuming she's a lawyer).

[Telesavalis]

I'd pass. Sounds like many will.

[jbmando]

Is it possible that the general invitations all said "Adult Wedding" but that they really had no intention of excluding your son? It could be that they justifiably didn't want a bunch of young kids running around and/or babies crying during the ceremony, but that they would gladly welcome your well-behaved ten year old? I agree with the person who told you to talk to the wedding couple and get assurance that your son is not intended to be excluded. As for the old wounds, someone has to be the one to start the forgiveness process; it might as well be you. It will be too late and very sad if one of you is no longer around and there are still hard feelings between you and your sister.

[R. Stratenstein]

Originally Posted by voodoostation

I don't do weddings or funerals any more, they usually end up the same way, running out of booze, someone puking, fist fights and hand cuffs. Just 'cause they're family don't mean you have to like them. I keep my family at arm's length, well, about 176000 arm's lengths.

Damn! Can I come to your next family shindig? We don't even get that riled up when we meet with the Yankee cousins on Confederate Memorial Day!

[raito]

I'd pass. If anyone doesn't want my children present then they don't want me present.

I found out that my parents also no longer do weddings or funerals, though I doubt that there's been handcuffs. Didn't know that before my neice's wedding, and I was sweating it a bit. So it's nice to know I won't have to see them.

Didn't invite them to mine, which resulted in comical mayhem that I got to hear about second-hand. My aunt apparently has nothing better to do than to scan the newspaper for wedding license application announcements. She called my mother (who you remember wasn't invited, and who indeed didn't even know I was getting married) and gave her heck about not being invited. She said she had the right to be there if it was in a church (???). Funny stuff.

[voodoostation]

I'd imagine Loganville ain't much different than some parts of West Virginia, it's all Appalachia, right? Last wedding was two police cars, a large branch someone found for a weapon, and flying fists of drunken fury. Last funeral was the Chicken Dance and an angry Indian. And that's my wife's side of the family.

[R. Stratenstein]

Maybe by "Adult Wedding", they mean there's gonna be porno, or the B&G get it on at the altar, or something else you wouldn't want to let your boy see anyway!

Or YOU could go and be the one who drinks the bar dry, pukes, starts some fistfights, and ends up in handcuffs. Spice things up a bit.

Just kidding. It sounds like somebody was really thoughtless and didn't realize your son would be the only one excluded, or it's a calculated, direct slap in the face. One more mouth to feed at the reception, supervised by his mom and dad, and probably a passel of older cousins, isn't going to wreck their wedding. Sad how some people use important, significant milestones in life as a weapon to retaliate for some real or imagined slight.

[ROADMAN]

one less gravy boat you won't have to buy.... who needs the drama