Wear red to a funeral?

[jefcon1]

I'm playing some music at my grandmother's funeral on Saturday. Some basic hymns. "I'll Fly Away", "How Great Thou Art", "Great is Thy Faithfulness". All stuff I normally play on my red tele. Because its my only tele. Now I'm (my wife) wondering if a bright red tele is appropriate for a 94 year old woman's funeral. I could play an acoustic, but the songs are solo guitar and I carry melody better on a tele than I can on any other guitar. Grandma would be happy with me playing anything at all. I think the only solution is to buy a white on white or a tuxedo tele.

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[uriah1]

+It won't matter..that is a good thing you do!...maybe your Grandmas fav color was red.
+condolences

[hekawi]

now THAT'S a new excuse to buy a tele. i'd go white on white. more angelic.

[Telegator]

I played my first funeral this past February using a Thinline Tele instead of an acoustic. I doubt anybody noticed or can remember the color. For what it's worth my thought is that Grandma would prefer you to play the guitar she would remember you playing.

On the other hand if you want to buy a new Tele for the funeral I also vote for white.

[J-man]

I don't see why it matters what colour your guitar is..

[jefrs]

Your suit and tie matters, not the guitar.

[LarsOS]

The guitar isn't a piece of clothing, therefore it is not subject to dress code. IMNSHO.

[AirBagTester]

I agree with you that grandmothers are just happy for you to do something like that.
I also agree that red guitar =/= red clothing.
I also agree that you should go buy a white tele, either an arctic white MIM or a classic 60's with rosewood fretboard! "I bought this guitar to honor my grandmother at her funeral," said future you.

Also, my sincere condolences.

[jefcon1]

I was truly kidding about buying a new tele for the funeral. Besides, I bought an amp (cube 30x - twin is too big) for the funeral already. And I'm probably picking up a dyna comp for it too.

I think the consensus seems to be that the guitar color does not equal clothing color? That is my wife's main concern.

Thank you for all the condolences. My grandmother actually passed in February, but we couldn't get all the families together until now. She bought me a Kiss album when I was a kid so I don't think a red guitar would bother her at all if I was the one playing it.

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[mal paso]

My condolences as well. I actually think it's sweet that you are this concerned with etiquette in this particular instance. I'm all for you buying another guitar, but I don't think it's necessary. In fact, if your tele was all beat up, or covered in stickers, I would feel the same way. It's your guitar, it's what your Grandma would want you to play.

[Jakedog]

Sorry for your loss, sir.

My thoughts on funerals-

I wear whatever I happen to put on that day when I get up. It coul dbe a wide variety of colors, but it's almost a certain garuntee that it's gonna be a t-shirt and jeans. I would play whatever guitar I felt like. If I know somebody well enough to attend their funeral, they know me that well too, and would expect nothing less from me than to totally be myself. And really, the person I'm saying goodbye to is the only person in that room who's feelings I give a hoot about. I'm there to see a friend or family member off, not compare clothing with others or see who can be the most "correct". We all grieve in our own way, so I see nothing wrong with saying my goodbyes however I please. It's the last time I'll get to do it, and I want it to feel like it should to me. I would never get all dressed up and act un-naturally to say goodbye to somebody I cared about when they were alive, so why would I do it when they're gone?

I say if you feel like playing the red one, thhen play it. It's you. If you want to use this as an excuse to buy another guitar though (and I have zero issues with that) then by all means go for it!

[hekawi]

Originally Posted by jefcon1

She bought me a Kiss album when I was a kid

even so, please don't breathe fire and spit blood at the funeral

[Arbiter]

Originally Posted by jefcon1

I think the consensus seems to be that the guitar color does not equal clothing color? That is my wife's main concern.

That you and your wife are concerned about this is rather heartwarming; etiquette seems to be an increasingly lost art these days.

Guitar color does not equal clothing color. Tell your wife this is OK.

Of course, my condolences. She bought your your first guitar? Well, I can't think of a better way to repay the favor than to "play her off", as it were.

[kelnet]

Originally Posted by jefcon1

I was truly kidding about buying a new tele for the funeral. Besides, I bought an amp (cube 30x - twin is too big) for the funeral already. And I'm probably picking up a dyna comp for it too.

I think the consensus seems to be that the guitar color does not equal clothing color? That is my wife's main concern.

Thank you for all the condolences. My grandmother actually passed in February, but we couldn't get all the families together until now. She bought me a Kiss album when I was a kid so I don't think a red guitar would bother her at all if I was the one playing it.

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February? So this will be more like a memorial than a funeral. In that case, a red guitar will be fine.
However, if you truly are concerned, can you rent a black guitar for the day?

[sacizob]

If I were in your shoes I would tie a black ribbon around the body (of the guitar).

[mal paso]

Jakedog, I'm surprised by your response. Only because a while back you made a good post about dressing up for gigs. I mean, if you're going to dress up for a gig, surely you can dress up for a funeral?

I know everybody's take is different, and I can dig on that. And I know in your heart you mean well, it just seems like if there's ever a time to dress up, it's a funeral.

[AirBagTester]

Originally Posted by jefcon1

I was truly kidding about buying a new tele for the funeral. Besides, I bought an amp (cube 30x - twin is too big) for the funeral already. And I'm probably picking up a dyna comp for it too.

Heh heh... I was just kidding too. I would never just go out and buy a guitar all spur of the moment like that... honest.

The cube is a good choice.

[jefcon1]

Im on my way to pick up a dyna comp off craigslist. And everyone says the dyna comp changes the color of the guitar.

Okay, I'm done. Sorry grandma. And everyone else.

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[cobrat]

Only way I see bringing a Red Tele would be a problem is if the funeral was if the family of the deceased holds to traditional Chinese funerary etiquette where any signs of red would be taken as a sign someone is happy about the death of the person at the funeral...something that would understandably upset surviving family/friends.*

Before every funeral I've gone to where the deceased and his/her family held onto those traditions, I had to make sure that I wasn't wearing or displaying anything that was visibly red in color.

Unless there's something you haven't told us here on TDPRI, I doubt this is an issue in your grandmother's case.


* Red is traditionally reserved for happy festive occasions...such as weddings.

[Jakedog]

Originally Posted by mal paso

Jakedog, I'm surprised by your response. Only because a while back you made a good post about dressing up for gigs. I mean, if you're going to dress up for a gig, surely you can dress up for a funeral?

I know everybody's take is different, and I can dig on that. And I know in your heart you mean well, it just seems like if there's ever a time to dress up, it's a funeral.

Replied via PM Mal.