#1 worst

[txspreacher]

That was totally comic relief, and I sure that it was easily recognized as such. In the Bad Dog Cafe, such is allowed.
[/quote]

How does that differ from this thread? We're in the Bad Dog Cafe and some of those who posted were able to have a right old laugh.[/quote]


I don't think it does differ.

[GopherTele]

Them aint no real country songs.

Unless you can tell me who recorded them.

I've been seeing that list since like 1983 or something.

[Durtdog]

Originally Posted by GopherTele

Them aint no real country songs.

Unless you can tell me who recorded them.

I've been seeing that list since like 1983 or something.

"You're the reason our kids are ugly," Loretta & Conway

[timgreene]

I know that, but they could be, real easy.

[txspreacher]

Originally Posted by timgreene

I know that, but they could be, real easy.

A lot of 'em aren't titles, but they are lyrics or a twisting of titles.

"I gave her a ring, and she gave me the finger" -
Steve Fromholtz

[Geo]

I listen to classic country usually 2-4 hours
at work then switch to rock or jazz. So based on
that.......there are some real "doozies" just like any
style.

A lot of it is over exposive to a tune.

Couple I find are "Harper Valley PTA". It gets annoying
if I hear it a few times a week every week after
awhile. It was originally intended as a demo but got
released "as is". Ah, the social implications here.


Irritating >>"Amos Moses". Probably not if I only
heard it once in a blue moon. Jerry Reed is a great
player but it doesn't help much here. It's a clown song
though.

[daves561]

Well, I'm feelin' grumpy this morning, so I'm going to blast two songs that receive way too much airplay on ClearChannelJeffersonPilotWalMartCommunications radio stations.

In the "show me don't tell me" category, I award these two songs. The runner-up:

2. "That Ain't My Truck," written by Tom Shapiro/Chris Waters/Rhett Akins, sung by Rhett Akins

The opening lyrics:

She's been goin' out with him
She's been goin' out with me
Said she'd let us know by tonight
Which one it would be

This has to be about the most uninteresting introduction to a story ever. SHOW ME, DON'T TELL ME.

Also, the "payoff" at the end of the chorus is:

That's my girl, my whole world
But that ain't my truck

This dunderheaded metaphor sets country music back about 30 years. (Actually, 1975 sounds really nice right about now.)

Tom Shapiro can write some great stuff. I am surprised with this effort.

However, I'm saving most of my vitriol for the winner, which is [drum roll please]:

1. "One Boy, One Girl" written by Mark Alan Springer/Shaye Smith, sung by Collin Raye

Oh, let's tour the entire first verse, shall we?:

He finally gave in to his friend's girlfriend when she said,
"There's someone you should meet."
At a crowded restaurant way across town,
He waited impatiently.
When she walked in,
Their eyes met,
And they both stared.
And right there and then,
Everyone else disappeared, but...

Repeat after me: SHOW ME, DON'T TELL ME. Also, BE SPECIFIC AND DESCRIPTIVE AND APPEAL TO AS MANY OF OUR FIVE SENSES AS YOU CAN.

"A crowded restaurant way across town" is about as intriguing as cardboard. Where, exactly, is "across town"? How does the crowdedness make the character *feel*? Details, please!

Also, the "one boy, one girl" theme is rather clumsily pounded into the listener's skull through three verses.

Oh yeah, and *any* sort of story arc would be nice. There is no setup, no conflict, no resolution. It's just happy happy happy all the way through. I need some yin for my yang!

I'm always astonished when these sorts of songs make it through the Nashville machine and end up assaulting me in my car. There are a zillion books on songwriting out there! They have great advice! Read them!

Phew, glad I got that out of my system. On a positive note, I'll be posting the transcription to Johnny Hiland's "In Your Face" tonight on the tab newsgroup.

Dave

[txspreacher]

Originally Posted by daves561

Phew, glad I got that out of my system.

Dave

I am, too! Nice, useful little mini-workshop on songwriting and hilarious to boot! Thanks!

[mk]

My list would start with about a half dozen by the McPatriot(tm) Toby Keith. It's hard to get much dumber than that.

[retsacelet]

Dave you're right on the money with those 2 songs (except I love the riff in "My Truck")

Originally Posted by daves561

On a positive note, I'll be posting the transcription to Johnny Hiland's "In Your Face" tonight on the tab newsgroup.
Dave

Where is the tab newsgroup?

[Ward]

The song "I Wanna Talk About Me" almost makes it so I can't take Toby Keith seriously...but my worst is that one song that goes "She Said Yes, I said Wow, She said when, I said how about right now". What a statement!

[daves561]

Originally Posted by retsacelet

Where is the tab newsgroup?

Second from the bottom in the "Other Discussion Forums" section. It's called "Sugar-Free Tab & Music 101". Good stuff over there.

Dave

[daves561]

Originally Posted by Ward

...but my worst is that one song that goes "She Said Yes, I said Wow, She said when, I said how about right now". What a statement!

Sung by a former professional wrestler, to boot. Only in Nashville...

On the guilty-pleasure side of things, I used to play that song with a regionally touring act. Six times a week, ten times a week, it didn't matter: Playing those guitar solos put a smile on my face every time.

Dave

[Rob Rent]

Donna Fargo singing "Funny Face"?
and for as much as I abosolutely love Waylon....
"If You See Me Getting Smaller, It's Cause I'm Leaving"

[retsacelet]

Originally Posted by daves561

Second from the bottom in the "Other Discussion Forums" section. It's called "Sugar-Free Tab & Music 101". Good stuff over there.

Dave

Oh yea, I'm over there all the time. I guess you threw me off with the word "newsgroup". :D

[daves561]

Originally Posted by retsacelet

I guess you threw me off with the word "newsgroup". :D

Yeah, slip of the tongue there. I come from the days of USENET in '92 or so, when nn was the terminal-based newsreader of choice. Web-based forums were still a few years out then, and old vocabulary dies hard...

Dave

[wilkat1]

I cannot, in good conscience, allow this thread to continue without nominating practically everything in the Joe Diffie catalog.

Especially "Pick-Up Man"

[daves561]

Originally Posted by wilkat1

I cannot, in good conscience, allow this thread to continue without nominating practically everything in the Joe Diffie catalog.

Especially "Pick-Up Man"

Okay, but hands off "John Deere Green." I gotta soft spot for that one.

Dave

[TG]

You guys should hear some Irish 'County and Western'. It's vile. There's a whole mess of it, much of it from up in County Roscommon and Leitrim, I think. It's like somebody doing a comedy caricature of American C&W. It often has accordians in it, for some reason, and the lyrics usually manage to include something about 'the old bog road' and their mothers. Alot is in waltz time, too.
The only example I can think of is 'The Day That I Left Castlebar'. Mercifully, my mind is clear of any other examples, but snippets of that one will just not go away.
If any of you Americans heard it you'd never complain about your C&W ever again.

[Colo Springs E]

Originally Posted by Rob Rent

Donna Fargo singing "Funny Face"?

....I think we have a winner!

[retsacelet]

I'll throw out a few stinkers:

1. We Didn't Light the Fire
2. Kokomo
3. We Built this City