Your Weirdest Gig Ever

[popthree]

Ok, I couldn't sleep, so I'm eating oreos and thinking of weird stuff. I thought it might be funny to encourage you all to share a memorable, but weird gig....here's mine:

A very good friend of mine talked me and some friends into starting a band. None of us had ever done anything like that before. We were 1 year out of high school at the time. We put together a strange beach/50's punkish band..quickly wrote a dozen songs or so..and needed a gig. So his mom, who was very involved with charity work and such, booked us @ a sort of retarded persons center. I know it sounds weird...and well, it was kind of weird....but basically, we played at an institution where lots of mentally handicapped youth and youngish adults lived. The gig was held in a gymnasium, and the staff had erected walls of folding chairs as a barricade to keep the excited masses from mobbing the stage. At first the barricade did it's job and the crowd was at bay, but eventually, as the music got louder and faster, they started moving around alot and a few of them broke through the barricade and charged the stage. But as it turned out, they were very friendly and just wanted to dance and hug all the guys in the band...and grab the microphones and scream for a little while. Some orderly type guys had to bounce them back over the ...ahem...chairricade. Many of the kids thought we were Huey Lewis and the News. This really irritated me, as I hated Huey Lewis and the News...but we just sorta played along with it. Looking back now, after playing in bunches of clubs for bunches of drunks....I think that was just about the best audience I ever had the privilage to play for!

[SteveY]

Originally Posted by popthree

...really irritated me, as I hated Huey Lewis and the News...

At least they're the only band I ever saw on VH1's "Behind The Music," that didn't put the whole country of Peru up their nose after they got success.
They just went golfing, like Alice Cooper.

My weirdest gigs have been Christmas parties. I never thought Alice's Resturant was a Christmas song. It's a Thanksgiving song, actually. Nevertheless, I get requests for it.
I do it, too!

[mark norwine]

we played a corporate gig for the dinner party after a convention of the society of pet morticians.

that was a bit weird...

after the gig we kept the banner that read "Tonight's entertainment is sponsored by eternal rest pet cemetary, Hightstown, NJ"

[ye olde fretmonkey]

I can think of 2 off the top of my head...

*playing for a rally of far-left Texas Democrats (lobbyists, PAC folks, etc). Blue-haired ladies using walkers, not a good sign. We did our usual roots-rock thing, got told to turn down immediately (with a Pro Jr and Blues Jr). We turned down to the point where we could hold a conversation with each other (and the drummer) at normal volume while playing, and another old boy comes up and says 'Whoa whoa whoa!! Y'all need to turn down to about 50% of where you are now!!' We said 'yes sir' and kept playing. $300, BBQ, beer.

*playing with my trio for a Halloween dance at a seniors' activity center, with all the seniors in (very creative) costumes. We played a march while they all paraded around in a circle for the judges of the costume contest. Very surreal.

[J-man]

Well... Not me, but when I went to Leeds 2003 there was a band called InMe playing there as the first band of the first day, somebody "forgot" to open the gates to the area with the stages so around 50,000 people were sitting in a field waiting for gates to open, and in the distance we hear InMe playing - they had started their time slot and finished it before anyone was even allowed in, so they played on a stage, which was designed to be viewed by 50,000 people, playing in front of no-one except themselves and roadies. OUCH!

[Paul in Colorado]

I also used to play for retarded folks. We called ourselves "The Termites" because we just came out of the woodwork to play. It was fun. One guy decided he was our "manager" and thought we could be a successful country group. He loved Buck Owens and Loretta Lynn. Our "manager" would always greet us and be nervous about everything a manager would be nervous about like making sure we were all there and the gear was working and stuff like that. One of the most receptive groups we ever played for.

[1612112]

...Was actually only the year before last... a drive through, covered ATM machine leaning slightly backwards. Two lanes... separated by a high curb and the machines, the drummer and singer/harp player played in one lane, and me and the bass player played in the other lane. I kept getting the terrible urge to “pull forward”. Got 14 bones for it though! Don't laugh!

[captain gorgeous]

On a temporary stage erected in a field in front of a ruined castle in the grounds of a mental home just outside Newcastle... in the freezing cold and pouring March rain.

The entire "visiting" audience retreated to the beer tents on the other side of the field maybe 200m away. through the dark and sleeting rain i could just make out a handful of happy "residents" dancing in the mud and rain.

[jz63]

I used to do solo acoustic gigs at a coffehouse in Topeka Kansas opposite of what Mel Brooks would call a "home for the extremely nervous". Some patients were allowed off the grounds and would come over to the coffeehouse to watch the music. One fella in particular claimed to be the reincarnation of Johnny Cash which at the time was pretty much impossile as he was still alive. There were a couple of Elvis' too. Good crowd though I'm not sure if some of these folks needed to be slamming down the espressos.

[jhundt]

During High School in Oakland CA (1971) my group played a lot of MC5 covers Iggy and early Alice Cooper stuff, that kind of thing. We got booked to play a dance for Job's Daughters and the DeMolay. They were extremely straight and dressed in prom gear. We were extremely the opposite. They did not like us!

[Dave Brophy]

Country band,mid-80's,lots of Waylon & Willie songs.At a club gig,3 people approach us and ask us to play their company's annual employee party.They love the country music,and own a manufacturing business.We name a nice fee,and the gig is is set for a month later on a Saturday afternoon.The location is a city park,and as we arrive to set up,we can't believe it.There are our 3 owners/country music fans,along with a park full of their employees and family members.Maybe 500 people,every one of them African-American.This crowd wanted a hillbilly band at their party like I'd want a transvestite sitting on my lap.They were nice enough to ignore us for 4 hours,though.

[Dono]

Played in a Classic Rock Cover Band that was hired to play at the Texas State Fairgrounds Garden Center, for a...

Thai wedding.

My fondest memory was playing "Norwegian Wood" during the soft wet and then playing...no kidding... Aqualung during the Rock set.

Aqualung, for a buch of Thai folks. I'm sure they were wonderin' , What the hell?" as much as we were.

Whatever.

[Dono]

I said "Soft wet"...

so what?

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Guess you had to be there

[Loni Specter]

Played a 'Solid Gold' TV show wrap party once as a sub for a guy. Rex Smith the host, jumped up on the stage and wanted me to play Roll Over Bethoven or some other Chuck twaddle. I did not know how to play any of that stuff and did kinda a Dick Dale meets Paul Kossoff abomination. Everyone just froze, drunk, drop jawed, not quite knowing what to make of me. At the end of the set, I smashed my Ventura Barney Kessel ($35.00) on the stageand through the chunks into the crowd. I told that story to Chuck Berry once when I had the chance to meet him years later. He got a big kick out of it and offered to teach me how to fake those riffs. Never did learn that stuff.
See you at the AMP SHOW

[flyingb54]

The Caravan Clubs in Oklahoma and Texas. The worst..total hell on earth. Worked there with the Flying Burritos...Oh my God. I hope they have all burnt to the ground.
JB
www.johnbeland.com

[rmconner80]

In a field near Topeka Kansas, in the dark with no lights, standing on pallets, with an ungrounded generator providing power and shocking the hell out of everyone with irritating frequency, and multiple drunken fights breaking out around us in the mean time.

I've got others but this one's at or near the top.

[Joel Terry]

Originally Posted by Paul in Colorado

I also used to play for retarded folks. We called ourselves "The Termites" because we just came out of the woodwork to play. It was fun. One guy decided he was our "manager" and thought we could be a successful country group. He loved Buck Owens and Loretta Lynn. Our "manager" would always greet us and be nervous about everything a manager would be nervous about like making sure we were all there and the gear was working and stuff like that. One of the most receptive groups we ever played for.

I can related 100%, Paul. Back in the day, when I played bass in the church band/orchestra where my late dad pastored, we would visit Clover Bottom Mental Health Institution here in Nashville on occasion and play shows featuring gospel/spirituals/hymns for the staff and patients. The patients ranged from mildly to severely mentally retarded.

I will be the first to say it was a strange, surreal experience at the time--dare I say even uncomfortable, at first; yet, in hindsight, it was one of the best experiences of my life. They loved the music, and were most appreciative and sweet to us.


Joel

[TheGoodTexan]

Played in a party band...playing all covers...and doing any request that someone could throw at us. Steve Miller, Georgia Satelites, Clapton, etc.

The singer booked a gig at a private party in Atlanta, TX...circa 1995. It was a nice house, with a huge back yard, complete with a swimming pool and servants ....yep, servants.

We were to play from 8 to midnight, for $400.

The man that hired us was throwing the party for his daughter that had just graduated from the University of Texas.

We sat up our gear as close to the pool as we could, without fear of getting wet.

As the party progressed, the alcohol flowed more and more, including our singer.

Midnight came, and we closed out the set, and began to pack up. We were cheerfully boo-ed, and everyone asked that we continue to play.

A couple of young ladies came up to the signer asked how much would it take to keep is playing for another hour. $100 was the reply....so they began taking up a collection, and talking to Daddy.

Then, our singer says, over the microphone, "For $100, we'll keep playing....and I'll knock $10 off that price for everyone woman that's willing to go topless for the reaminder of the night."

Tops came flying off...everywhere.

All of the sudden all of the power to our PA and all of our amps goes dead. I just assumed that we had tripped a breaker. Actually, the breaker was tripped for us. Yep, Dad came out of the house and saw what was going on and turned off the power to our breaker!

Then he came over to our singer (who had booked the gig) and screams that we've got 5 minutes to have our gear packed and off the property!

We didn't get paid that night - zero.

But - we got a lot of good references.

[Joel Terry]

Originally Posted by TheGoodTexan

Played in a party band...playing all covers...and doing any request that someone could throw at us. Steve Miller, Georgia Satelites, Clapton, etc.

The singer booked a gig at a private party in Atlanta, TX...circa 1995. It was a nice house, with a huge back yard, complete with a swimming pool and servants ....yep, servants.

We were to play from 8 to midnight, for $400.

The man that hired us was throwing the party for his daughter that had just graduated from the University of Texas.

We sat up our gear as close to the pool as we could, without fear of getting wet.

As the party progressed, the alcohol flowed more and more, including our singer.

Midnight came, and we closed out the set, and began to pack up. We were cheerfully boo-ed, and everyone asked that we continue to play.

A couple of young ladies came up to the signer asked how much would it take to keep is playing for another hour. $100 was the reply....so they began taking up a collection, and talking to Daddy.

Then, our singer says, over the microphone, "For $100, we'll keep playing....and I'll knock $10 off that price for everyone woman that's willing to go topless for the reaminder of the night."

Tops came flying off...everywhere.

All of the sudden all of the power to our PA and all of our amps goes dead. I just assumed that we had tripped a breaker. Actually, the breaker was tripped for us. Yep, Dad came out of the house and saw what was going on and turned off the power to our breaker!

Then he came over to our singer (who had booked the gig) and screams that we've got 5 minutes to have our gear packed and off the property!

We didn't get paid that night - zero.

But - we got a lot of good references.

"I have seen the top of the mountain, Beavis; and it is good." :P
Joel

[popthree]

Originally Posted by flyingb54

The Caravan Clubs in Oklahoma and Texas. The worst..total hell on earth. Worked there with the Flying Burritos...Oh my God. I hope they have all burnt to the ground.
JB
www.johnbeland.com

sorry to say...that place is still standing...

[Tim Armstrong]

My brother, my nephew and I sometimes play as sidemen in a local faux-zydeco band. The leader plays accordian (poorly), fiddle (poorly) and sings (uh, okay, except that he sings in French-sounding gibberish). He's also a fair bluegrass banjo player (his actual preferred music) and a pretty darn good pedal steel player (except there's no work around here for one).

He's also legendary for screwing over sidemen, to the point that we're just about the only guys around here that'll still play with him (he and my brother have been friends for 30 years, and I think he's afraid of messing with my brother!). The gigs are easy, we show up, plug in, play his songs, sing harmonies, he has my brother sing a bunch of songs too, and we never walk with less than a hundred bucks.

So there we were, Fourth of July 2003, hired to back him up at the local racetrack, playing before the fireworks. We show up, set up, tune up and...

...meet "Mimi". I call her that because she looked just like Mimi from the Drew Carey Show. In a pink dress. And she's gonna sing with us! Turns out she's a former cruise ship performer who the leader invited to sing with us for this one gig... and she doesn't know any of the songs we usually play.

We ended up playing "Leaving On A Jet Plane", "Country Roads", and a few other songs of that ilk, and several patriotic numbers. For a total of maybe eight songs. Over and over and over. I looked over at my nephew, who was doing a wonderful job of playing the drums while looking like he was dying. It was stupendously horrible.

Then, right after we finished, the bandleader disappeared (we thought to get the money) so we had to break down HIS P.A. system and all his gear. Then the lights dropped and the fireworks started, and no sign of the leader. We finally just left. Didn't get paid for two weeks, either.

He was sitting with his wife and son, watching the fireworks, totally forgot about his gear or the money...

GAAAAA!

Cheers, Tim

Worst part...the audience LOVED IT!!!

[Brother Chub]

Played a place in Georgetown IN called Rib Tip Tonys.
He was having a crawfish bake. The had a guy dressed up in a crawfish suit on drywall stilts walking around. Well
the guy gets drunk and starts to fall back into the band.
We are not helping him down but trying to push him back up. Very weird. We do a John Lee type ver of Gloria
and had done it early in the night. A drunk comes up and says thats his girlfriends fav song and would we play it again. Between the drunk crawfish and this drunk we were ready to go so we told him no. He ask what it would take I yell out $100.00. The guy reaches into is wallet and hands me a $100.00 bill. Needless to say we play Gloria.