MUSICAL PET PEEVES

[Tele-Whacker]

I've got a little time, and want to state a few other things.
The "volume contest" thing: ie, I can't hear my guitar, because the drums are too loud. The steel player turns up cuz all he can hear is my guitar. The bass player turns up cuz that's what bass players do. The fiddle player turns up to get over everyone. Now, I can't hear the monitors, so I turn them up, and that encourages the drummer to play harder, and use bigger sticks. I can't hear my guitar, so I turn up my amp to "stunn", which makes the steel player............."VOLUME CONTEST!"

Yeah, the "Overplayer" on any instrument, possibly believing he will be "paid by the note". I worked with a very capable drummer one time, who was convinced that the audience PAID to get in the club just so they could watch him play "IN-A GOD- A-DE-VIDA", while I was trying to sing "SILVER WINGS".

Band members that show up at the begining of the gig saying: "Man,..... I'm so tired................!" Don't bring your personal problems to the gig, and don't take the band problems home to your "Bandwife".

Bandwives... I have to admitt, I haven't had this problem in a very long time, but, I had a drummers wife jump all over me because of a gig we had booked before the new drummer came into the band, and it just happened to be on their Aniversary. If it wasn't where, or when we were playing, it was for how much money. I got so sick of having her jump on me for everything, that I had to let him (and her) go.

How about this one? We hired a female Bass player/girl singer, and she was awesome. She was very good looking, and a PROFESSIONAL Musician. a big asset to the band. She hadn't been with the band one week untill the rumor was that she was sleeping with every guy in the band. NOT TRUE! The customers just have to have something to gossip about I guess. Needless to say, she got "dis-enchanted" with the untrue rumors, and found another job somewhere else.

Now, lets talk about clothes on the bandstand. I don't nessessarly think we should wear "band uniforms" or dress alike, but I do expect band members to show up in clean clothes, and to have taken a bath sometime since last Saturday night. I will get in trouble for this, but it's my opinion, and I might as well get it off my chest: What's with the "worn out pants" look. I wonder who wants to look at somebodys, knobby knees, in a pair of tattered, shredded jeans? I appreciate Allan Jackson's Music, and for the most part, Dwight Yokam's too, but can't they afford a nice pair of Wrangler jeans?
I've seen 'em both wear pants on stage, I wouldn't build fence in.

How about, people trying to pass off a "Country Song" with an out of tune steel guitar? Or scratchey fiddle? These instruments are the epitome of "Country Music, and sound like hell when played improperly.

My last entry for today..... People in the "band" who think they are "STARS". If I go to work with a "STAR", that's one thing, but when we're all in it together, It should be all about "The Music." There, I'm done for a while.

[reverbbb]

"the kazoo tone" . I'll have to remember that line. I call it "the mesquito buzz tone" - thin and annoying.

What ever you want to call it, somebody needs to take the time to show these guys how to sound better without any extra practice. I have heard some fantastic licks. But the poor guy's tone ruined any appreciation factor for me. It is not hard to get good tone. It is just hard to accept what you hear if that is not what you are acustomed to hearing/playing in your own style.

There is a lot of modern recorded music that is really tasty. The guitars are using "the kazoo tone". But the production engineer has figured out a way to hide it in the mix or use it sparingly/tactfully. On a live stage, it just simply sounds rediculous. I know that we had a similar problem in the '70s. What we heard on the radio was difficult to acheive live because of all the studio production (think Aerosmith or Boston). It can be done, but it is another learned aspect of the talent.

[BLACKCAT69]

between songs at full volume. Usually young kids do this but I've seen acts do this that should know better. If you got a record deal and are touring you can afford a Boss TU-2.

[David Barnett]

Originally Posted by Joel Terry

Man, just reading about that B Major in the "Wonderful Tonight" chord progression makes me wince. :x :? Sounds to me like they have "Wonderful Tonight" mixed up with "(Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay." :P

You think that's bad, there's a local hack blues trio that always plays "Proud Mary", in D, only they start the signature chord pattern as D to B instead of C to A. But they somehow get it to resolve in D so that they can play the song in the proper key. It's infuriating.

[reverbbb]

Originally Posted by Tele-Whacker

Bandwives...

Man, I have I ever had problems with bandwives. There was one situation that a bandwife in another band that we booked for an outdoor concert, called the father of the venue host and put up a big stink about them not getting paid in advanced . Well the father had never even heard about this alledged concert. So he started checking it out. He found out that we would have beer on his property and shut the thing down. This casued a HUGE problem (I could write a movie script about the chain of events after that). We had to scrambble like the dickens to find a new venue. The original venue was perfect access with published maps, toilets and lots of shade. The bottom line is that resulted in: someone stealing ALL of the admission money, people passing out in the hot sun of the new venue, costing me $500 out of my humble pocket (no one else lost any money), nobody getting paid, a drunken riot broke out and spilled into the street, some idiot trying to break up the riot in his '69 Camero at 60 mph (needless to say somebody got hit and shattered their leg and was taken by ambulance to the hospitol), the Dallas County Sheriff office sent out 20 squad cars and arrested 5 people, and my prized Guild acoustic got run over by a truck and shattered (cost another $250 to and 4 months to get repaired).

Bandwives, who needs 'em?

Originally Posted by Tele-Whacker

She hadn't been with the band one week untill the rumor was that she was sleeping with every guy in the band. NOT TRUE! The customers just have to have something to gossip about I guess. Needless to say, she got "dis-enchanted" with the untrue rumors, and found another job somewhere else.

That is too bad when that happens. It is a shame. We always had a problem with our male lead singer sleeping with all the wives in the audience after the gig. His wife was none too pleased with that behavior - neither was my wife (but I had nothing to do with that type of behavior).

[David Barnett]

Originally Posted by Tele-Whacker

How about, people trying to pass off a "Country Song" with an out of tune steel guitar? Or scratchey fiddle? These instruments are the epitome of "Country Music, and sound like hell when played improperly.

Last night I had to endure an opening act with a dreadful fiddle player. The rest of the band were quite good, they had good songs, and the two front men were good singers. It was a fun set, but man that fiddle player sounded like someone "beating a baby -- with a cat" to quote the music critic from The Simpsons.

And they had the nerve to play "Orange Blossom Special"...

[PSWoods]

Originally Posted by Colo Springs E

....I don't see anything wrong with working out solos. I look at it as working out a song; I'd think people would appreciate it that you put some effort into it.

Sorry for busting in on this discussion late.

I look at the extra work as the hours every day for 10+ years you spend building a repitorie, vocabulary, ear, depth in theory, sensitivity, etc to be able to converse with the band and the audience in the musical moment.

There is playing and there is reciting. Let me tell you about my most and least favorite bands I'm playing in right now. Least favorite is church. I do it b/c I want to give something to the church, and music is what I have to give. The church band rehearses diligently. They all read - even the singers - and they work off scores. Everyting is prepared and polished to a reasonable extent. Nothing is spontaneous. I listen and try to be in the moment and fill my spot the very best I can, but everyone else just grinding the organ crank. It's a total drag.

Then there's my favorite band, a cover band, which is supposed to be the prototype for hackneyed, calcified performances. We are all illiterate except for me, and we are catering to what I consider very lowbrow tastes (for which I happen to have a big appetite, but that's another story). It's all the wrong ingredients for delicious music, but these guys are just hardcore musicians. They can ear out anything on the fly. If I start playing a funky disco or James Brown riff in the middle of Tom Petty song - or more likely - the bass player breaks into Primus type noise out of a Beatles cover - nobody rolls their eyes at the showboat; we all grin real big and go with it. It's like jazz that a room full of normal people can stand to listen to.

[ye olde fretmonkey]

Originally Posted by David Barnett

Last night I had to endure an opening act with a dreadful fiddle player. The rest of the band were quite good, they had good songs, and the two front men were good singers. It was a fun set, but man that fiddle player sounded like someone "beating a baby -- with a cat" to quote the music critic from The Simpsons.

And they had the nerve to play "Orange Blossom Special"...

Plenty of bad bass players, drummers and guitar players out there, and nobody's the wiser.

There is NO covering up for a bad fiddle player, though.

[Twangmeister]

Singers who introduce a song by saying, "And now we're gonna do a little Johnny Cash," "Or here's a little Dwight Yoakum," or "Howsabout a little Merle Haggard?"

What, are ALL of these guys midgets? Or, are we just gonna play 16 bars of the song? Or is someone's manhood in question, so he has to go and denigrate the size of other artists?

And bass players, who before you even get your rig set up and plugged in say, "Oh man, you're gonna have to turn down!"

And those drunk @$$ folks who just have to "dance" so close to your mic stand that it keeps knocking the mic into your teeth. Nothing tastes as bad as an SM-58 whose windscreen has never been cleaned!

And the dudes who always ask for equipment, small and large: "Hey, ya gotta pick?" "Hey, ya got an extra cord?" Hey, ya gotta power strip?" "Hey, got an extra capo?" "Hey, ya got an extra 'D' string?" "Hey, got a spare amp?"

Hey, ya got a job? My name is NOT "Guitar Center!!!!"

And all the other stuff everyone else said. Man, do I feel better now. ;-)

[teledude66]

Originally Posted by Skully

Well, some are singers with or without natural ability. Some have great natural gifts; others learn just enough to play in the band. Some actually did practice to hone their chops, 'cause, after all, getting stoned and playing guitar all day is a lot easier than going to school and doing homework.

Me, too.

as you said earlier it is a gift, some people i know could break wind and it sound beautiful, i try for years and it sounds like broken wind ...lol...also i think popularity plays just as much part in ART as does substance ...if you're popular enough you can make crap into ART and people will fall over themselves to get it ....

[Aen]

Originally Posted by Bob Rogers

3. "Originals" by songwriters who can't write songs. Mostly composed of cliches strung together in an artless way. Songs that shout, "I only know three licks, but I can make ten songs out of them."

4. Bands who play three hours of such songs and consider themselves "true to their art" and vastly superior to bands that play covers.

45 minute bar gigs.

Maybe that's just in this town...

[skinnyguy]

Doesn't it drive you nuts when you're reading an article or interview in GP or GW and it inevitably sounds like this:
"Yeah, I like to keep my setup simple. I don't like to clutter my sound..." Then he proceeds to enumerate 50 bajillion little gadgets he's running through. That alway's cracks me up. In my mind, a simple setup is a guitar, a cord, and an amp. Don't tell me how basic your rig is and then list $5000 worth of processors you're using to cheese up your sound.

[Tim Bowen]

Drummers should have to pass a rigorous test and obtain a license before being allowed to operate cymbals. The test should be re-administered every four years. A hefty fine should by imposed on drummers for excessive cymbal use, as well as for improper cymbal placement within a tune. After a pre-determined number of offenses, drummers should be required to attend the equivalent of traffic violation or DUI "school" - one of those stuffy little rooms where you spend six hours with a bunch of seedy characters, watching films produced in the 70's, where everyone is wearing plaid polyester pants and matching white belts and shoes. Not that I'd have any experience with that. After an inordinate number of offenses, cymbal privileges and license to operate such should be revoked permanently.

Those tiny little midget cymbals should be against the law, and so should the use of a crash that won't provide a decent bell ride on the quarters.

No cymbals should be used to cut basic tracks - they should be overdubbed, and only by the tune's writer, arranger, or producer.

When drummers come to my house, the fish quit swimming. Okay, I'm kidding. Sort of.

I agree with most everything that's been said on this thread. It's great to see that so many of my fellows from The Royal Order of Noodle Haters are represented here. There's nothing more distracting or disrespectful to audience and fellow musicians alike than is a bunch of lame noodling, and nothing more quickly screams amateur. I worked with a couple of otherwise excellent players in the past (key phrase being in the past) that were incessant, absolutely incorrigible NoodleHeads. These guys would open up a set with noodling. It totally destroys any sense of vibe or drama that a band would like to establish in opening a show. So, I don't like it.

Also high on my list is keyboard players that, for whatever reason, seem to be completely enamored with lame digital tinkly noises. Blechhh.

And number one on my list of all-time musical pet peeves - is when my own playing absolutely sucks. Man, there's no excuse for that!

[hippietim]

Originally Posted by ddewerd

The way I've always played it is for the guitar to go to a D, but have the bass play an F# (major 3rd of D). Gives a nice sound to it. Maybe they got confused with hearing the F# and thought it was a B, since they are close too.

FWIW, YMMV, etc.

Cheers,
Doug

You'd have thought that the ringing D# in the B chord would have hurt their teeth though.

[hippietim]

Originally Posted by Joel Terry

I have a problem with hearing too much distortion, too. Not that I think that it's a crutch, per se; it's just a bit annoying after a while. Especially that over-distorted tone David Hidalgo of Los Lobos once correctly described as "the kazoo tone."

But, to each his or her own, I suppose. I guess I just prefer a little clipping to a lot of fuzz. So, I suppose this isn't really a peeve; it's more a question of personal preference.

Joel

For me it depends on the style of music.

There are guys that use insane amounts of distortion but sound absolutely kick ass. Dimebag Darrell was one - and his rig was solid state as well.

Then there are guys that kick on their trusty fuzz box in a country tune because they're "rocking out". It's embarrassing to watch/hear. There's not much worse sounding than a Telecaster->compressor->poorly dialed in Distortion+ ->Fender Twin in the middle of a shuffle beat Country tune playing Chuck Berry licks.

Then there's just flat out cool and nasty tones like when Keef kicks on the fuzz box in Satisfaction. No way would you want to listen to that tone with chords or for something melodic. That is a riffin' tone.

I think Jimi pulled off the over the top fuzz thing in a song or two as well

[ye olde fretmonkey]

Originally Posted by "hippietim

Then there are guys that kick on their trusty fuzz box in a country tune because they're "rocking out". It's embarrassing to watch/hear. There's not much worse sounding than a Telecaster->compressor->poorly dialed in Distortion+ ->Fender Twin in the middle of a shuffle beat Country tune playing Chuck Berry licks

eww, gross

[hippietim]

Originally Posted by JJRaccoon

My pet peeve is how 99 percent of the contestants in American Idol sing in the "fluttering all over the place, how many notes can I fit into each word in the lame song I'm singing because you have to sound like a gospel singer to win" style. Same as most of the singers that do the National Anthem.


- not that I watch American Idol in the first place, no really!

I'm with you on all points there. Sing the song. bring *your* flair if you want but that yeah-eee-yeah-eee-eee-eee-EEE-eee stuff can make you want to go kill a kitten or something.

I'm pretty flexible on music in general but the United States National Anthem should not be "interpreted". Don't riff. Don't "pull out the stops" and jazz it up. Don't ever bring a boy band to sing it. It's just best performed correctly.

Regarding American Idol, my wife and I got hooked on it for some reason this time. We'd never seen it before but we caught the last week or so of the preliminary rounds this year and once we saw Bo Bice and a couple others we were suckered into watching it. The "judges" have called folks on oversinging many times. Also, there are just some songs people should *not* try to do. For the females, don't try and do Whitney or Aretha - you are *not* that good. Really. For the guys, not another Michael Bolton song. Please. Pretty please. The thing I don't get is what they had them do this week - sing show tunes. I understand their trying to show versatility or whatever - I say, who cares if they can sing show tunes unless that's their style. I want to hear them sing music in *their* preferred style.

[TG]

Hard rock bands showing their 'sensitive' side by playing a crap acoustic set.

Elton John's backing vocals.

[Skully]

The "judges" have called folks on oversinging many times.

Like when?

For the guys, not another Michael Bolton song.

Honestly, I don't think they've done one Michael Bolton song this season. However, early on there was a hell of a lot of Stevie Wonder.

[Oskar]

I'd like to think there is a compromise between the two of these, but sometimes it's hard to find. I play with a guy who's always saying "We should just have fun" when we have to hunker down and really work to learn a new song. Well, yeah, I like to have fun too, but I don't want to go out there and so