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Old April 30th, 2011, 09:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
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What's your favourite put down?

All in good spirit of course, eg. from a record review:

'I've watched paint dry but this is the first time I've heard it'

Any funny put downs? Down as in back to earth, for any occasion.

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Old April 30th, 2011, 10:08 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I usually go for the least common denominator, so there's not much room left for the other person to get lower than me:

"Oh yeah? Well, you have a stupid face."
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Old April 30th, 2011, 10:12 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Sometimes a single look is worth more then a thousand words.

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Old April 30th, 2011, 10:22 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I have a friend who ends almost all "difficult" or nonsensical discussions with, "well, you can't put God in a box." It is a confounding, all-purpose statement.

I don't have a one-size-fits-all put-down, but I find a good 5 second locking of eyes with no facial expression gets the job done.
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Old April 30th, 2011, 10:49 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I prefer "I'd challenge you to a battle of wit, but I can see you're unarmed"
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Old April 30th, 2011, 10:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I know you are, but what am I ?



Always a good comeback especially when someone says your immature or unreliable.
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Old April 30th, 2011, 11:15 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Not a put-down, but always fun to me; when someone is describing a sound ("then the cat went 'meoowrraahhh, ' " or "the car started making this 'thwomp thwomp thwomp' noise"), I ask with a straight face "how did it go, again?" It's hilarious when they repeat the sound effect. Most people catch on, but I'll never forget my second wife describing the sound three times, complete with arm gesticulations, until she realized she'd been had, and froze with arms in midair. Friggin hilarious.
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Old April 30th, 2011, 11:37 AM   #8 (permalink)
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How do you not fall down more?

Talk to the back of my head as I walk away.

You are not worth the air you displace.

Oh I'm sorry. Are you still here?


And one for forums: Dude.
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Old April 30th, 2011, 11:39 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Oh wow! I/we used to have ________ (shoes, guitar, house, car,....) like that.

Then my dad got a job.
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Old April 30th, 2011, 11:45 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Old April 30th, 2011, 11:54 AM   #11 (permalink)
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well the jerk store called and they are all out of you!
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Old April 30th, 2011, 11:55 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Old April 30th, 2011, 11:58 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Old April 30th, 2011, 12:10 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Clint taught me that one..

I really don't enjoy insulting people, unless they are asking for it. I would rather say something that would make them smile than get them madder.

I find that its usually the ones who like to dish out the putdowns that don't take them very well.
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Old April 30th, 2011, 12:14 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I appreciate what you are trying to do with this thread. However, like most things you've attempted in the past and probably the most significant things you will try to do in the future, they just don't really work out, do they?


if that won't work (because the person is too much of a mouth breather)

just go simple:

"your mamma likes it."

will usually work.

I read in Outliers that if you call someone from a background (won't mention so that members won't get mad) that they mention in the book an "A--hole" they will be furious and angry and humiliated. Finding out that it only takes one word has made my efforts much simpler!
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Old April 30th, 2011, 12:15 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Lately, it seems like it has been, "Son, the apple does not fall far from the tree.".

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Old April 30th, 2011, 12:47 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by getbent View Post
I appreciate what you are trying to do with this thread. However, like most things you've attempted in the past and probably the most significant things you will try to do in the future, they just don't really work out, do they?


if that won't work (because the person is too much of a mouth breather)

just go simple:

"your mamma likes it."

will usually work.

I read in Outliers that if you call someone from a background (won't mention so that members won't get mad) that they mention in the book an "A--hole" they will be furious and angry and humiliated. Finding out that it only takes one word has made my efforts much simpler!
Right, as ever Getbent. Wish i could just pull you from behind a curtain in emergencies
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Old April 30th, 2011, 01:05 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I have finally figured out when you are about to tell a lie....

your mouth begins to open.
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Old April 30th, 2011, 01:06 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fuzzbender View Post
Right, as ever Getbent. Wish i could just pull you from behind a curtain in emergencies
fuzzbender you are too kind. When I was young, I saw the put down almost as sport and my friends and I used to 'rip' on each other...

I find in the last 20 years, I have no desire to 'rip' anymore, but this thread reminded me of how fun it used to be!

The other day at work, I was in a meeting and two guys were in a heated conversation about a product and proposed product and the barbs were pretty awesome... there were about 20 of us in the room and when it reached a certain point, out of the blue I said, "Fellas, a ham sandwich is not a ham."

And the whole room cracked up (I think in part because the ham sandwich thing is kind of a code phrase for one of the products.) and it actually cracked me up too...

I don't know if it is a saying or not, I can't remember hearing it, but I like it...

One thing I heard a lot from some folks in Austin is that they say "ish" way too much.

as in, "Is the product finished?" "well, ish." or "Is it a complete implementation of MDM?" "the update is complete-ish"

I finally said that we probably weren't fully communicating because 'ish' means one thing in rap music and I wasn't sure if they were being modern and meaning it that way or if they were softening the blow for features that weren't completely done yet.
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Old April 30th, 2011, 01:13 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Yes, it was fun, and we grow up. Still you will be behind that curtain woncha?
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