What Is Your Biggest Hang-up On Playing In Bands?

[TRogers2281]

Bassist Jokes.


im not in a band. this town is too small to start a band. the three of us never see eye to eye.

I only know 5 notes on the bass. I have a gig tommorrow with some guys who need a bassist.

[pblossom]

Band members who don't drive.

[Paul in Colorado]

Where to begin...

The alcoholic married couple who drag their feet when the band starts getting momentum.

The guitarist who shoots down every idea that the other members of the band come up with and then complains that the band is stagnent and isn't doing anything new.

The formerly married couple who work out their issues at rehearsal.

The drummer who thinks "dynamics" means playing faster and slower as well as louder and softer.

Singers who have been playing the same songs for years, but still need the lyrics and use music stands on stage.

Other players who start playing a solo when it's your turn and it's been rehearsed that way.

When drugs and/or alcohol are the priority rather then the music. And people who are stoned that think they're playing brilliantly when they are sucking.

Singers who think they can just open their mouths and sing whatever they want, whenever they want no matter who's singing the lead.

[olewichita]

Originally Posted by Paul in Colorado

The drummer who thinks "dynamics" means playing faster and slower as well as louder and softer.

you must not be a fan of jo jones, elvin jones, art blakey, buddy rich, john bonham, hunt sales, charlie watts or al jackson... great drummers do use push and pull of the tempo as much as louder and softer to make things happen... it's the difference between a drummer that keeps a beat or is the beat...

tj

[Stickyfingers]

Ha ha ha...some VERY good points here. Especially singing stars who apparently believe the rest of the band also double as the equipment roadies just for them. Also girly friends who start problems like "How come he gets to sing 6 songs per set and you only get 4?". You gotta love this stuff to put up with a lot of it. I thought the comment about harps and hell was cute. I believe that before we make guns illegal, first should come harps, then banjers, and then bad fiddlers. Over the years, I have seen booze and drugs ruin so many promising talents that it's almost mind staggering. The last ten years or so however, I refuse to play with known drunks/druggies, and will not put up with it on stage either. If you can't leave it alone for one evening, or until you get finished, go find therapy elsewhere, NOT on a bandstand where everyone is trying hard except YOU.
Yeah... Ihave worked with singers who also play nothing, and constantly remind us all thet we "don't sound like the record". To which I remind them....we didnt play on the record, and I would remind them that they didnt either. Maybe they should head on back to the Happy Hills Trailer Park Karaoke Picnic, and leave singing to some one who knows HOW.

[Telarkaster]

After last night's jam I have one more to add to the list: FLATULENCE.

I know it was Xmas the night before and he was up all night drinking with his buddies, but do I really have to stand next to him in a small room for 3 hours and inhale his toxic waste while he stumbles through each song in a hungover haze? Sigh... Happy Holidays!

[charlie chitlin]

+1 on girlfriends/wives who influence the band.
We have one of those..."Debbie says this....Debbie says that...."
One day I'm going to say, "Debbie doesn't even play a damn instrument! Why should we take musical advice from her!?!?!?"

[Jimmy Dean]

I have been in a couple of bands, but prefer working as a guitar duo. I usually play rhythm or bass. My big band gripes are:

1) GEAR; I always make sure that I have the best, complete rig that I can afford & I know how it works. I have worked with talented people who could not make the effort to have good gear or learn how to use it & then they want to borrow some of my gear. I always have extra strings, cords & a tool kit with me. There is always the question, "Who is going to buy the PA?". DO NOT pool together to buy " the band's PA" you will never get your investment back.

2) BASS PLAYER; I have had no bad experiences with bass players. They show up on time, have all their gear & generally are team players.

3) KEYBOARDS; I have few complaints about keyboards. They usually have more formal music training than the rest of the band, have all their own equipment & are team players. I love the sound of a B3 but I hate setting them up & tearing them down.

4)LEAD GUITAR/LEAD SINGER ; Most of the time these people have huge egos & think that everything revolves around them. They usually think that they are too good to set up & tear down for a gig. They always want to be in control of content & arrangement.

5) DRUMMERS; Drummers are always the biggest flakes. The more talented the drummer is the bigger the flake they are. You always wonder, will they show up on time or will they show up at all.

6) ALCOHOL; I am not against having a social drink. I am unwilling to work with drunks. I was in a 4 piece that did originals. The band leader brought in a lead player who he had worked with before. The guy was good & could sing but had a drinking problem. We had to change our whole line up for him. He had to scrounge all his equipment. He wanted us to have everything all set up for him so all he had to do was come out on stage & play. I was the only one with a tuner so I tuned all the guitars prior to practice. The more he drank the more he fiddled with his tuners & then would accuse everyone else of being out of tune with him. I was constantly worried that he would sell his guitar for booze in between practices.

[geoff_in_nc]

I feel lucky. I've found a group of guys and a gal who are fairly ego-free, don't get toasted during rehearsal (we've only gigged once so far and only a couple beers were ingested), take constructive criticism, play the SONGS but don't have to have the EXACT same arrangement as the record, and are fun to be around. Yes there has been some minor friction over song choices at times, but we all give and take. The only negative I've found so far is that the drummer leaves his kit at the rehearsal space and can't practice at home on a kit... so some drum breaks key to defining the song he's had to come in and work out for a bit to get right before we can get the song feeling right.

Things I wouldn't like are
* people who won't give opinions, then build up resentments because they haven't - this ends up being really toxic down the road if you don't work out differences in an adult fashion.
* guitarists who won't turn down and/or play with buzzsaw distortion when the song and the band's overall "sound" never called for it (I once auditioned with a guy who handed me earplugs before we started playing... WTH? You know its bad when.....)
* substance abuse of any sort.
* many other things that have already been posted.

[stantheman]

Honestly? Drummers.

[Billy B.]

I play in a pretty high energy Punk/rock&roll band and there is LOTS of drinking so lots of things go wrong,We are pretty good at recovering from derailments ,but the 2 things that make Me really P*&sed off are :#2 when someone gets onstage to sing their favorite song (that alone is cool) but they dont know the words and sing over My lead !and #1 which happens at almost every show ;our very drunk /confrontational singer jumps into the crowd and returns without His mic! (which We could pull off the rest of the band can sing) BUT he always then takes My mic ! so I got nothin to counter the drunks in the crowd ,who have the singers mic ,screaming the chorus over the verse part etc..,I am all for audience participation (it's flattering) but I dont think people paid good money to hear drunky mcgee screaming HIS version of the song .......GIVE the mic back.at one of My last shows this happened(singer lost the mic in the crowd) and when He got back on stage the headstock of My Les Paul ACCIDENTALLY smashed Him in the face really good, after the show when he was complaining about his bloody face I told Him"My les Paul is a very violent instrument and it WANTS to hurt You,MY JOB is to keep it from attacking You,YOUR JOB is to hang on to the mic for the whole show.......If YOU don't do YOUR JOB ,how can I be expected to do mine?baha

[davidge1]

I hate the fact that other band members have different tastes, opinions and ideas than mine. Why can't people I play with just do what I want them to all the time and generally think like me?

[Televised]

I play in a "bedroom" band and after reading these post I can definitely tell you I'm staying there! About once or twice a month friends and family get together and play with no real expectations other than a good time. We "work" on songs but there is no pressure other than trying to reach a level of satisfaction of accomplishing doing a song that isn't half bad. The only people we need to satisfy are ourselves.
If most marriages end in divorce it's a minor miracle that any band can last longer than a year!

[Mid Life Crisis]

For me it was putting up with lazy b******s who would sit back while I was left to write the songs, arrange the songs, make arrangements for gigs, write out the set list, set up the PA, dismantle the PA, everything.

[atroy]

Originally Posted by Jimo

with a new band member..you know how it goes..1 guy is kicked out or quits..then you have to go through the whole learning process with the new guy....whew...... When I made a lot of money at it I would put up with more-- garbage...but anymore....naw..........-

I have been the "new" guy a couple times, replacing a guitarist that was not cutting it. I made sure that I did my homework and showed up at the first rehearsal extremely prepared. The payoff was huge. Everything clicked right away and all the preparation gave me loads of confidence.

In one of these bands, I thought the drummer (a founding member, unfortunately) was holding the band back from being really good. Great guy, great work ethic, great attitude. He just wasn't good enough for what we were doing. I knew a guy that I brought in and he instantly clicked and had the other guys blown away after the first song of the first rehearsal with him. I knew he'd "wow" them and he did. If I didn't, I'd have never suggested him. Since I was fairly new, I had to be sure that I was suggesting the right guy.

More hang ups?
•Bass players with no bottom end.
•People that over do it with drinking or drugs. I'm not against it, but know your limits and stay well within them.
•Club owners. Even if they are telling the truth I just can't bring myself to trust them.
•Stages that are too small. That has resulted in my lead singer getting a bloody lip or two. And another time when my headstock became tangled up in his hair. I also hit my head once while jumping around... on the ceiling.

Someone mentioned that other members would mess with the controls of your amp. I would never tolerate that. I can't find words to describe the wrath that would follow.

My advice to any band with a weak link? Fix it now. If you don't, you will regret it later. Whether it's later that day or many years later. I learned that the hard way.

[wangdangdoodle]

Originally Posted by jazztele

my hangup: i really want to be in a band that plays exactly the music i want, but i don't want to be band leader. conundrum, eh?

other hangup: i really can't get along with people (in a band situation) who can't read music.

+1

On the secound thing... I'd sadly say don't play with too many guitarists!

[LOTF]

1. Married band members. Our sax player is probably the best musician in our band. He's been playing 40+ years and knows both alto and tenor inside out. He's been married 30 years and if his wife says "jump," he says, "How high, dear?" Far more than once, he's missed important rehearsals, such as before a gig or recording session, because the wifey decided at the last moment that she wanted him to do something else. On top of this, his wife decided she had "empty nest syndrome" after their kids grew up and they've taken on foster children with serious emotional issues. He brought one of them to rehearsal once, at his wife's insistence, and the kid disrupted everything. She insisted on dragging around, and trying to play, a French horn and almost knocked over my Strat and our bass player's Rick. I'm not a family man. I respect those who are but they shouldn't advertise themselves as serious musicians in a band that wants to gig if the family wins every time.

2. Obnoxious camp followers. We practice at our drummer's house and several of his friends, who are drunks, either live there or visit. They are a pain in the butt and are always getting in the way, making requests we don't know, and interfering with our line of sight to each other. The guys in the band can, for the most part, handle their liquor but the same can't be said for their friends. IMHO, rehearsals would go much better without that lot around.

[Mike Bruce]

Originally Posted by LOTF

Obnoxious camp followers. We practice at our drummer's house and several of his friends, who are drunks, either live there or visit. They are a pain in the butt and are always getting in the way, making requests we don't know, and interfering with our line of sight to each other. The guys in the band can, for the most part, handle their liquor but the same can't be said for their friends. IMHO, rehearsals would go much better without that lot around.

+1

That, and the band widows all lined up with scowls on their faces, interrupting, pacing around looking at their watches. Don't bring them if they can't be supportive.

Peace, Mike.

[johnnylaw]

This is a great thread. Should be required reading for music majors. Well, honky tonk heroes anyway.

The movie The Commitments covers a lot of this turf with a great soundtrack!

My biggest beef is when the music is not every band members' first priority; not necessarily in LIFE, but AS A BAND. Some need to belong, or be heard, or be seen, or be right, or butt-kissed. (Etc.) NONE of this is as important as serving your songs.

[Radspin]

Very informative thread going on here.

My biggest peeve is players--I won't dignify them by calling them "musicians"--who don't listen to the other players in the band, and constantly overplay and step on everyone else. To me the mark of a professional is someone who plays a part that fits into and complements what everyone else is doing and what's appropriate for the song--and the mark of an amateur is someone who constantly overplays, steps on everyone else and has no sense of what would fit the song. "Look at me! Look at how many notes I can play! It's all about me, me, me!" You know the type.

[tazzboy]

Pretty much covers it all. Doesn't it?

[giginthesky]

drugs and girlfriends. on that note, i'd like to have a girl in my band so i guess i should add boyfriends.

[tiktok]

Niggling gripes: guitarists who don't trim their strings, instead leaving a foot or so of tetanus facepoke on their headstock. I have taken matters into my own hands more than once if polite requests go unneeded.

People who don't bring their own extension cord.

People who plug into my power strip. If I wanted to unground myself via your crap amp or other-side-of-the-stage mic, I'd have done it myself. There's a reason the unused outlets on my strip are taped over: they're unavailable.

[Jimo]

Originally Posted by Mike Bruce

+1

That, and the band widows all lined up with scowls on their faces, interrupting, pacing around looking at their watches. Don't bring them if they can't be supportive.

Peace, Mike.

That "girlfriend" in Spinal Tap---who decided to run the band..I have been in bands with "girlfriends" around..... JUST LIKE that..................................

[cactusrob]

There's only two answers to this question...drummers and lead singers! LOL (I say that with a chuckle so nobody send hate mail, please!!!)

The girlfriend comments are sooo true too! I mean, look what Yoko Ono accomplished!!! (and I'm NOT chuckling when I say that)

Rob

[Dave Hopping]

One thing common to most of the posts here is comments on behavior that on one's day job would cause instant termination,if not an arrest.Does the surgeon's wife come into the operating room and kibitz about the anesthesiologist? Do S.W.A.T. cops light up a bowl in the back of the van before a no-knock raid? Does the big-rig driver have a row of empties lined up on the dashboard of his fuel truck and a full one in his hand? Of course not,but we all know "musicians" who do the exact equivalent of all those things.
If it's a hobby or a party,fine.If you want it to be worthwhile,treat it like a job.

[Tim Bowen]

Wow, great thread, food for thought.

I book duo instead of full band anymore, because:

* I need to make money, this is one of my weekly jobs.

* 30+ years of placating and understanding multiple personalities and prima donnas and insane egos was more than enough for me. I can't take it anymore. I can't work with anyone that's more insane by nature than me, and when it comes to art and music, that's a pretty wide spectrum. I can't work with anybody that takes themself too seriously, nor can I work with somebody that doesn't take their craft extremely seriously. So it's a really fine line. Do the work, have a joke, that's my M.O.

* I'll admit, I hate rehearsing. That said, I've done thousands of them, and I understand the need for such. I prefer to work with folks that are arrangement freaks at heart that are into doing some homework on their own time. Whenever I'm working with folks like this, I never sweat it. They get it, they know when to step up or lay out, they understand harmony and dynamics. If rehearsal is work, then I'm a fan of paid rehearsals, because being a musician is an occupation for some of us, not a hobby.

[ScatMan]

Originally Posted by olewichita

any combination of 2 out of the following 3 and i have no hangups...

(1.) if i like the music...
(2.) if i like the people...
(3.) if the money is good...

if there's only 1 out of 3 the other two are my hangups and i'll probably bail sooner than later...

tj

I can work with people that are more insane than me as long as they can walk the "don't take themselves too seriously / take their craft seriously" tight rope. Some people don't know the difference..

I can also do (3.) by itself if the number of rehearsals/driving distance to paying gigs ratio is relatively small.

[Jakedog]

Weak musicians. I am the weakest musician I can afford to have around. If you are not a better player and all around musician than I am, you will not last very long in my band. I need people I can show things one time, and have them nail it forever after. I need people who when I describe a certain groove or style, or ask them to transpose things to different keys etc, they know what I am talking about, understand, and can just freakin' do it. I need people with retention. So that when the band works through a song, changes the arrangement and the key, or makes other modifications, I don't have some guy who shows up to the gig or the next rehearsal who has forgotten it ever happened. I need a stage full of people who if I get a request the band doesn't know, I can say it's an uptempo I-IV-V 2-step in C, with a II minor in the chorus, give a ten second run-down, and play it well enough that anybody who isn't a musician in the audience won't know the difference. I need instrumentalists that if I shoot them a tempo, a style, and a key while on stage, they can get through a couple of hours of material they've never heard before, and do it competently. IMO, if you can't be counted on to do these things, you shouldn't be paid to play nusic. But that's just me.

[scoots]

druggies/boozers, egos. lack of preperation/dedication for paying gigs. people in general seem to mature with age, but you throw musicians into the mix and all bets are off. there aren't too many threads that i read all the posts to, but this is one, and it seems us 40 yr old guys are still dealing with the same sh!t as the 20 yr old guys. also, this is a touchy subject right now anyway...

[Tim Bowen]

Originally Posted by Jakedog

If you are not a better player and all around musician than I am, you will not last very long in my band. I need people I can show things one time, and have them nail it forever after. I need people who when I describe a certain groove or style, or ask them to transpose things to different keys etc, they know what I am talking about, understand, and can just freakin' do it. I need people with retention. So that when the band works through a song, changes the arrangement and the key, or makes other modifications, I don't have some guy who shows up to the gig or the next rehearsal who has forgotten it ever happened. I need a stage full of people who if I get a request the band doesn't know, I can say it's an uptempo I-IV-V 2-step in C, with a II minor in the chorus, give a ten second run-down, and play it well enough that anybody who isn't a musician in the audience won't know the difference. I need instrumentalists that if I shoot them a tempo, a style, and a key while on stage, they can get through a couple of hours of material they've never heard before, and do it competently. IMO, if you can't be counted on to do these things, you shouldn't be paid to play nusic. But that's just me.

I like this job description. Fail or succeed, there's no second-guessing the parameters of this job. This is what I'm comfortable with. While I might ultimately fail, I'd work as a sideman or arranger for you in a heartbeat. Thank God for folks that understand the job.

[Jakedog]

I'll also add-

Great players who are poor musicians. I tried to work with a bassist recently. He's a killer player, been making great money around these parts for 30+ years, and it has made him incredibly lazy. He does have a fantastic ear, and can play pretty much anything off the cuff, with nothing but a straight answer to "what key is it in?" But he drove me so nuts in the month I worked with him, that I had to cut loose from him. He just couldn't get the country thing. I've known him for more than ten years, and the drummer I was using has known him for more than twenty. I tried to get the dummer to talk him down, couldn't get it happening. The guy just refused to play country bass. Everything was busy, too notey, syncopated, etc. Would have sounded great for a different style, and all he had to do was just listen to the discs I gave him. He's so good, he wouldn't have even had to woodshed with them, just listen to them to understand the style. He wouldn't do it.

I've never before experienced a player who did not screw up a single song all night long, and never hit one sour note, and at the same time played everything so totally wrong that I wanted to throttle him on stage.

[tiktok]

Originally Posted by Jakedog

Weak musicians. I am the weakest musician I can afford to have around. If you are not a better player and all around musician than I am, you will not last very long in my band. I need people I can show things one time, and have them nail it forever after. I need people who when I describe a certain groove or style, or ask them to transpose things to different keys etc, they know what I am talking about, understand, and can just freakin' do it. I need people with retention. So that when the band works through a song, changes the arrangement and the key, or makes other modifications, I don't have some guy who shows up to the gig or the next rehearsal who has forgotten it ever happened. I need a stage full of people who if I get a request the band doesn't know, I can say it's an uptempo I-IV-V 2-step in C, with a II minor in the chorus, give a ten second run-down, and play it well enough that anybody who isn't a musician in the audience won't know the difference. I need instrumentalists that if I shoot them a tempo, a style, and a key while on stage, they can get through a couple of hours of material they've never heard before, and do it competently. IMO, if you can't be counted on to do these things, you shouldn't be paid to play nusic. But that's just me.

I think if I had the mad skillz you're describing, I'd have left Cleveland for greener pastures long ago. How do you afford to pay these guys?

[chezdeluxe]

Originally Posted by Jakedog

Weak musicians. I am the weakest musician I can afford to have around. If you are not a better player and all around musician than I am, you will not last very long in my band. I need people I can show things one time, and have them nail it forever after. I need people who when I describe a certain groove or style, or ask them to transpose things to different keys etc, they know what I am talking about, understand, and can just freakin' do it. I need people with retention. So that when the band works through a song, changes the arrangement and the key, or makes other modifications, I don't have some guy who shows up to the gig or the next rehearsal who has forgotten it ever happened. I need a stage full of people who if I get a request the band doesn't know, I can say it's an uptempo I-IV-V 2-step in C, with a II minor in the chorus, give a ten second run-down, and play it well enough that anybody who isn't a musician in the audience won't know the difference. I need instrumentalists that if I shoot them a tempo, a style, and a key while on stage, they can get through a couple of hours of material they've never heard before, and do it competently. IMO, if you can't be counted on to do these things, you shouldn't be paid to play nusic. But that's just me.

You should sack yourself

[Stratotwanger]

I generally hate other people, so the band thing is long in the past. Solo gigs are the only way for me personally these days. I make all of my own backing tracks, play every last note, it's arranged my way, I'm always there on time, the beat never drags or speeds up. There are simply no arguements or ill feelings to be had. It's the only way to go, IMHO, after you go through what we've all been through. I call all the shots. I make or break me. I don't take lip from anyone, not a club owner, nobody. So, if I choose to walk out on some ass of a dictator running the joint, I feel nothing but wonderful leaving him or her standing there with a place full of people knowing exactly why I'm bailing because I make a nice loud announcement on the mic before I pull out as to who is responsible for it and what they did to ensure that everybody is stuck with an empty stage. I'm simply above small people and choose not to deal with them.
I'm quite sure that there are people out there that are just as happy to never have to deal with me again either. It goes both ways. But of course, we are never the problem. I'm an ass and I know it and I like it that way. It is much better than being a stepping stone, spineless wimp that takes it up the wazoo just to earn a buck and please everybody.

[Telemarkman]

Female persons of the opposite sex who manage to get onto the stage and bite you (hard!) in the shoulder while you're playing - ouch!!!

[Telemarkman]

Originally Posted by pblossom

Band members who don't drive.

Glad I'm not in your band ...

[Strat God]

Originally Posted by Jimo

Drunks
Dopers
Deafs
Slackers
Lothario's
Yoko's
EGO Meister's
Local Heroes-"A Legend in Their Own Mind"
Dismal Pay

You know just the typical bar band.

YOKO'S !!!!!!!!!!!
That is damn funny. At one point the bass player had this girlfriend who was a pretty successful model and she would come to EVERY rehearsal wearing very little clothing and never a bra. Huge rack too. Great to feast the eyes on, but the band couldn't focus on the music- just her incredibly huge units. So I had to ask him not to bring her along unless he wanted to share. He eventually left the band.

[Mike Bruce]

The last Yoko I had to deal with only sang a lead or two and a backup or two as an unannounced guest of the band leader (her boyfriend), AND she got cut in for an equal share of the pay. At first the band leader manged to hide the fact, but in the end it was one of the reasons that otherwise great band crashed and burned. The rest of us played 4 long sets, hauled the gear, wrote and arranged, promoted, etc, and Yoko got the same pay! Sorry, no deal.

Peace, Mike.

[Kevin Allen]

i can tell you the biggest hangup of all...

musicians who WONT play without money. they say "if i'm not worth at least $50, i'll leave my guitar in the case"

do we play because we love what we do or because of the money? to me there are too many musicians who want to actually make a career in music who cant because there are people who are actually better who HATE to play. it dont make sense.

i like a dedicated band. everyone shows up for practice. dont have to be perfect timing or the best musician, but serious in what the "band" is trying to achieve.

i'll jam with anyone anytime, i'll play for free or for money. i've played in studios and HUGE shows. making ALL my money with my guitar is my perfect dream. but if i dont, that does not stop me from playing, my guitar will NOT stay in the case just because i cant make a buck.

last, musicians who think if u do a cover song, it has to be like the record, i'm not the record, it do it MY way. i think my new band motto lately has been this......


"I'm NOT a musician, a musician is one who copies others, i'm an ARTIST, a person who creates"

of course we are all musicians, but i've read posts on here, and there are alot of "artists" on this forum.