Horror Stories - Gigs: Your Worst Experience

[Jmezz]

Cheaper than therapy and great way to purge those awful memories of your worst experience at a gig or performance. Mine involves a horrible "open mic" experience but I want to see if anyone replies before going into detail

[emu!]

Well, being that I usually gig at bars that don't even have soap in the men's room, I guess all my gigs are pretty bad. But, one that comes to memory often is the one a few years ago that included a broken glass in the band truck, and an angry bar patron who didn't like us much.

[dan1952]

Does a woman getting shot on the dance floor count?

[CHAZ2]

How about noise limiters cutting three songs dead...and the crowd such as it was shouting "u suck" :-(

[rand z]

ive had lots of horror gigs... shorted on pay, got rained on (badly), harassed to play songs we didnt know, equipment failure, sore throats or hangovers... even the flu.

i think the one thing that upsets me the most is having to set up in a rediculous place... like 50 yards from the closest person. or, in a small corner where no one can possibly see you. or, facing the backs of peeps sitting at a bar when theres a big screen tv over the bar that theyre all watching.

or, maybe next to the restroom door with the smell and a constant stampede of peeps walking in front of you... in and out. or, directly in the hot sun... right in your face. thats the ultimate torture on a hot, muggy day. sometimes i think those peeps that make the decision as to where you set up have no brains (or compassion)... they certainly have no idea as to how live music should be portrayed.

if any of these scenarios happen to you... i suggest you nip it in the bud. (i had a partner who was a wimp and let all of this happen to my vehement protests... he did the bookings and consequently agreed to things in advance that, most of the time, could not be changed once we got to the gig) tell them that this is not the best place to set up and suggest a good one. be firm about not wanting to be in front of the restrooms or directly in the sun (tell em if you end up with skin cancer you'll suit).

good luck!

rand z

[tboy]

Played Milton Keynes fest, outside London back in '80. Crowd HATED us. Had an SG on a stand next to me that got it's headstock knocked off by a flying, full beer can. Our singer caught a wine bottle on the head, and was badly cut. Endured for about four songs, then exit stage left.

Oh yeah. It had been raining for two days, and the mud was ankle deep.

[1293]

I wasn't even in the band.

I went to see my former band play. The bass player got in a fight with his girlfriend between sets. She left. He went after her. I got roped into playing bass for the second set. It was the first time I ever held a bass. "Don't worry, it's just like the bottom four strings on the guitar. You know the songs. You can do this!"

[Jmezz]

I don't feel like mine even compares to some of these!

I was pressured into going to an "open mic" thing with my former uncle (a drummer) at some roadhouse blues bar he plays at in Wisconsin. This was about 2 years after I started playing mind you so I could basically improvise basic solos on a blues scale, and knew little more than major, minor, and power chords. I kept asking him all week, "You're sure I don't have to know any songs?" He said I'd be ok and we just jam with a few other people who show up. Turns out, my fears were valid. I spent the whole set "learning" each song on stage and having chords yelled at me by the other guitarist. My whole extended family came to watch me play too since my parents had been hyping my skills ever since I started playing. It was pretty brutal.

[kelnet]

I was in a Top-40 duo in the early '80s, playing every small town in BC. One night in Vanderhoof (anyone been there?), in a small nightclub in an old hotel, a group of loggers decided to harrass us. It started with a bottle landing beside me on stage. Being a young smartass, I picked it up and said "We don't drink Molson." Suddenly three bottles smashed off the wall behind us and also off my amp. My partner spent the next song with his eyes firmly focused on the loggers' table, but also screwing up chords and lyrics.
The manager told us to take the night off because those guys would spend more than he had to pay us.
We were both quite scared up there. It wasn't Mick Taylor at Altamont-scared, but those guys were big and nasty.

[getbent]

playing at the county fair in Riverside... bandleader and drummer show up pretty drunk... head over to the beer garden, get drunker... drunk during first set, he starts inviting his buddies up to play with us... they all want different keys and don't know the songs... and are drunk too... (I was 22 years old) bass player is now well on his way to being hammered too...

singer passes out onstage and drummer knocks over drums and falls of seat twice... they all leave the stage (even the bass player) I finish the show singing with my telecaster every willie nelson song I know (about 6 songs) I'm so humiliated and horrified and mad... and it is the first time I have my entire family show for a gig....

I still cannot believe how bad that was. I took the PA and sold it the next day and never returned any of the bands phone calls... I ran into the leader at a bar (duh) and he was MAD AT ME!

Fortunately, there were a couple of guys there who were also at the fair and they explained what he'd done... I did actually end up playing with him again, but not the other guys... what a nightmare!

[Mik]

Just...last Monday night comes to mind...

We'll "be back again"...with another 5 numbers!

[Mik]

Originally Posted by dan1952

Does a woman getting shot on the dance floor count?

yeah if she kept on dancing

[xjazzy]

The worst was being escorted out of town by the police cause there were a bounch of drunk guys that wanted us to play till 8a.m.!

[woodman]

i guess it would be a tie between the time i split the seat outa my pants wearing no underwear and the time we stomped a hole in the stage at Packers Roost (near Yellowstone) and the singer and i kept falling into the hole.

[Mark N]

my worst experience came when we were playing to a full house at a local club and our singer, who was a bit intoxicated, got into an arguement with one of the supervisors over his girlfriend being asked to leave because she was bringing in her own booze...she refused to leave so they called the police...that put him over the edge, he left us after the second set and we were on our own to finish off the night....talk about the shame, none of us can sing so it really messed us up big time...we were applauded for not walking out on the big crowd but that's all we got....now we are banned from the place, well the singer is anyway...so there's some changes brewing for the new year I think

[Smoky Booroo]

We were playing country music at an Irish bar in San Francisco and one of the only people there kept yelling at us that we were too ******* loud. No kidding! He was drunk and really unappreciative. Geesh! I swore I would pick gigs more carefully after that.

[Al Watsky]

I've seen lots of fun stuff at gigs.
Fights
Gunfire
All sorts of wild behavior but the worst gig was this.
Several years ago I got a call from a real estate developers secretary.
She told me she had gotten my number from a restaurant I had played .
She said she wanted only Jewish music. Its was Hanukah, I play lots of Jewish Music
so thats a fit. We decided on a band size and an instrumentation, set the price and were all ready with a contract and all details were attended to.
I had hired a Clarinet player, an Accordion and I was on Fiddle.
So fine, the day comes around. I drive into town, and this guy he's living on the East Side of Manhattan in a very large house. This guy's not shoppin' at Wall Mart.
So I park, take my instruments to their door and am met by the "assistant" of the developers wife. Very sedate middle aged Chanel Suited business woman.
She walks me down an entry hall to the area in which we were to play. I was startled to notice a large Nativity Scene set up on a large table , its lit, the figurines were large and lifelike a major statement.
In so far as I had been hired to play Jewish Music and only Jewish Music, I was, lets say, concerned, panicked was more like it.
So the band arrives, my Russian Gypsy Accordion Player and a Clarinet player and my self. So as we're setting up the Secretary who hired me shows up. She's sort of smirking in a knowing way and asks if we're comfortable and settled and if we have enough room to sort of surround the Nativity Scene as we play our music. I told her that , yes we were fine , happy to play for her employer and his guests and to make their Holiday Party a big success. Fine.
We wait for the appointed time and begin playing. We've got it covered, we've got your Moldavian Hora's , Russian Shers, Medleys of Bulgars, sprightly Turkishers , we're rockin' it kids.
After a few minutes of this and some of the blankest looks you have ever seen from the guests, I am approached by a delegation of dignitaries, the Wife's assistant, the wife and a third person of the male persuasion. The assistant looks at me sternly and asks, "what is that music your playing ?" I reply that we were hired to play Jewish music and only Jewish music and thats is what we were doing, fulfilling the contract.
The wife and her man pal look at each other, glare at me and say to me, "STOP !, play anything else but that". They were enraged ! Mayflower PO'd .
I told the band to vamp found the Secretary and asked if I could speak to her boss.
She led me into the bar room and pointed to a corner in which an elderly man, dressed like Colonel Sanders ,complete with string tie ,was seemingly talking to a potted palm. I walked over and after excusing my self for imposing, asked if we were to continue playing Jewish or not. He looked at me in a way that give me to understand that we were the means by which he was playing a "little joke" on his wife, who he seemed to hate. Interesting.
He encouraged me to allow the band to drink and suggested we continue with "our" music over all other objections. The secretary confided to me that her boss was "insane". OK.........
So I go downstairs to get my guitar , an acoustic I had brought along just in case.
Pulled out a folio of Christmas music I had made for a gig the night before. Grabbed a folding stand from my bag and went back up stairs and had the boys crowd around.
We opened our set with , I'll Have a Blue Christmas, by Elvis. Which I sang, with a tear full glee. It Must Be Santa !
Got our money and went home.
That was the weirdest one.

[getbent]

that is an awesome story Al.

[Teleglide]

Once we were playing at a local club on a Sunday night using the house band's PA and upright piano (they played there for years so they moved an upright in and mic'd it). The other guitar player insisted on putting his amp (SF Pro Reverb) on top of the piano - about 4 feet in the air. He said he could hear it better that way.

In the second set we were playing Drive My Car by the Beatles and I was singing. All of a sudden it sounded like a bomb went off behind me on stage. It turned out that the other guitarist got his guitar cord tangled up with his feet - the cord yanked the amp, which teetered and fell off the piano, hitting the top end of the keyboard and breaking a bunch of piano strings. It bounced off the keyboard and hit the drum set (also not ours) putting a huge crack in the bass drum shell. Of course his reverb was on, which added to the deafening crash. We had to stop playing in the middle of the song, and the bar owner told us to pack up and get out.

That was about 25 years ago, and it still makes me cringe.

[Bswailes]

Originally Posted by woodman

i guess it would be a tie between the time i split the seat outa my pants wearing no underwear and the time we stomped a hole in the stage at Packers Roost (near Yellowstone) and the singer and i kept falling into the hole.

ROF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[borsten]

Originally Posted by tboy

Played Milton Keynes fest, outside London back in '80. Crowd HATED us. Had an SG on a stand next to me that got it's headstock knocked off by a flying, full beer can. Our singer caught a wine bottle on the head, and was badly cut. Endured for about four songs, then exit stage left.

Oh yeah. It had been raining for two days, and the mud was ankle deep.

We (German band) played at the "Tourist Trophy Days" in Assen (Netherlands), back in 1989. Many Dutch people don't really like Germans, you know. Especially when they are drunken motorcycle riders in a crowd.

First they thowed beer glasses, then they pissed into the glasses and throwed them on the stage. Wasn't a long gig

[RCinMempho]

Splitting the pants is no fun. Happened to me not that long ago, but it was covered by the guitar on stage.

That waitress is still real friendly though.

[FMA]

Man, some great stories.
Mine was my very first gig, back in the '70s with a rock band at a fire hall dance. We get to the place and set up and get ready to go when our chick singer shows up. She had had a fight with her boyfriend that afternoon and sought to heal her psychic wounds with copious amounts of vodka.
She was beyond hammered. She passed out under a table before we even started.
The rest of the band was lost. She was the lead singer and pretty much the only singer in the band. We played a bunch of instrumentals and took turns singing, badly.
The chick singer woke and wobbled toward the stage, knocked some things over, got into a fight with a firefighter and we had an early exit.

[Billy B.]

Well I have plenty of humorous horror stories ...........singer drunkenly falling through the front window of the 15th street tavern in Denver.....Me drunkenly falling into a pile of broken bottles in Hamburg ( It's funny cuz I broke them ...a few stitches & I was good)but the Most horrible has to be Mr.T's bowl in L.A. abot 98? a big fight broke out (which was not uncommon at our shows) and the bouncer,who was a very cool guy,got stabbed several times in the side and EYE BALL with an ice-pick! We played a big benefit for Him afterwards to help with His medial expenses but He still ended up losing His eye ,I kinda retired for a while after that . Sorry but You asked for Horrible

[Stevie 202]

Played a gig after releasing a single that we foolishly recorded using so many overdubs, bells and whistles that it was impossible to play live, and members of the audience yelled out all night long "play your song!!" OUCH.

Played an outdoor gig that turned into a brawl. Two drunks whirling around like a tornado and cutting a path of destruction right through our stage.

Played a festival and got so drunk that I forgot how to play guitar!!
I'd just recently started playing guitar in the band to replace a keyboardist and I was doing rhythm and vocals.......I just plum forgot what to do. Looked pretty stupid howling into the mic with a usless guitar dangling off me.


Buncha other stuff that escapes me at the moment......

[TelZilla]

It's hazy, but certainly a Harmonica player was involved.

[stxrus]

back in the early 70s we had a weekly 2 nighter. a small place with a smaller stage and dance floor. this one couple came every friday, sat up front, requested tunes we knew and tipped very nicely.

on our 5th or 6th week the usual couple were in their usual place and all was normal. in the 2nd set this other lady walked up to the couple and proceeded to shoot the couple. no place to hide, gunfire going on about 10 feet away, trying to make ourselves invisible, me wondering if a 1970 strat would stop what appeared to a .38 slug, patrons are running/diving for cover and the owner is screaming for up keep playing.

the shooter turns out to be the man's wife and she didn't like his girlfriend. small minded of her i think

luckily everyone survived but the couple never came back to see us play

steve

[Jakedog]

Did a pickup gig when I was 19. Guy called me, needed a bass player for the night. Gig was in a real dive, known for violence, but my regular band played there and I wasn't scared. So I show up, and this "guitarist" who hired me, is ecstatic to see that my bass amp has two inputs, cause now we have a PA! I should have left then.

A little ways into the second set, a guy walks in the front door, steps right up in front of the stage, and pulls a pistol. Singer hits the deck, drummer gets shot in the chest, I balled up behind my Ampeg and tried to turn invisible, all the while thinking, "wow, this guy really hates blues"... Bouncers grab the guy and wrestle him down. Cops are called, haul the guy away, ambulance hauls away drummer, who thankfully lived to play many more gigs after a couple of touchy surgeries.

Came out later- Turns out the guy was shooting at the singer, and hit the drummer by mistake. Gun guy had a fight with his wife, and to spite him, told him she was messing around with singer guy (she was) and right where to find him.

It gets worse-

After everything calms down, I start packing up my stuff, as I'm totally done with this gig. Singer boy starts yelling at me to set my stuff back up, we have another set to do. I said "no" and walked out. He followed me out to the parking lot and took a swing at me for "ruining his show". Needless to say, when he called me for another gig (and yeah, he actually did) he was politely told to go **** himself.

I've got tons of other doozies, but compared to that one, they all seem really tame...

[Jmezz]

You know, I'm not one to talk smack about the 2nd amendment, but after reading some of these stories I think it would be a benefit to humanity for gun makers to install alcohol monitors on all firearms from now on.

[FSJazzGuy]

Note to self:

Don't ever gig with anyone who's posted in this thread. Too risky. Nothing I ever experienced even comes close to some of this stuff.

[guitarman823]

Mine covers a one week period, but it's all for one gig. The small bus the band I was with in the early 90's broke down, so we loaded everything up in a suburban and trailer and headed for Ruidoso, NM. The suburban broke down in New Braunfels, TX. My ex-brother in law lived there, a mechanic, said he would fix it and loaned us a truck. While there, found out he got it running, but his son stole the keys and totaled the suburban. On the way back a week later, had a flat on the trailer in Fredericksburg, TX. No spare, Sunday, holiday weekend. Spent 3 hours waiting for a truck to come out and sell us a recap for $200. Not my best week, but one I will never forget.

[outbreak]

mmmm worst was probably my first gig with my last band. The old guitarist had his first gig as singer, drunk half a cask of port mumbled into the mic and didn't face the crowd. Our bass player didn't turn up because his work forced him into work (we found this out just before hitting stage), We got a bass player from another band to fill in but i had to show him each song on stage and then give him nods when the change to choruses. I had fun there though and after the gig a bunch of people came up saying we sounded good and much better then the band used to be before i joined (our style changed when i joined too as some others were kicked out and we used some new songs i'd written with the singer for a different band).

nothing compared to some of the above stories...

[Jackson Jackson]

Okay, this will be the longest post in history. Here's an article I wrote for Pro Sound Web a few years ago about the worst "opening act" in my history.

The Anatomy of a Bad Church Gig
By Jackson Jackson


Although I’ve never been in a group that labeled it’s self as a “Christian Band”, as I’ve never quite figured out what that label means, I have played a fair number of churches, youth groups and camps in my day. As a Christian involved with music, I’ve never found a shortage of places to play. In my experience, “church gigs” are usually great. Typically, the event staff, and audience are very courteous, respond well to good music, and don’t steal your stuff or pour beer in your monitors. Also, churches often pay performers, not always a lot, but most clubs don’t give you squat so…!

All that being said… unfortunately, these gigs are often hosted by people that don’t know the first thing about putting on, promoting, providing sound for, controlling or booking, a live show. They are people with the best of intentions, who want artists of their same faith to provide entertainment that expresses that faith. I have no problem with that, nor do I have problems expressing my faith, however, I feel that sometimes a show should just be entertainment, and even if there are goals of reaching an audience at a spiritual level, usually the best way to get through to that audience is to itch them where they scratch.

Case in point:

A few years back my band was invited to play on New Year's Eve at a large church for a group of “locked in” high schoolers. No problem, we did this kind of thing all the time, and we were looking forward to not only playing the show, but also getting a chance to hang out with the kids afterward, something we didn’t always get a chance to do. The evening started out well enough, with the normal filing in of the young masses, the youth leader informing those masses of the few simple rules; no stage diving (for insurance reasons), no drinking, no explosives, etc. Then the first “act” was introduced. Let me clarify, this was not so much entertainment as it was…well…ah…a multi-media juggling mime act. Yes you read that correctly, a multi-media juggling mime act. A man in his early 40’s with a beard, a comb-over and white face makeup introduced himself as “Dr. Gordon” or something equally under-whelming, and proceeded to “set up” exactly what type of special entertainment he would be providing for the lucky audience members.

The first phase of his attack consisted of the multi-media portion of the show, which was nothing more than a 20 minute “silent movie” style video clip of cheap magic tricks, shown on a large screen. Now, I’m not P.T. Barnum or anything, but it seems to me that the worst way to get the attention of a crowd of High School kids is to dim the lights, and show them black and white home movies. After the completion of this cinematic masterpiece the lights came up to reveal the stunned faces of 500 teenagers. Many were slumped into their seats (nicely padded pews really), and some were already in the early stages of planning their escape.

What could possibly be next? Yep, you guessed it, juggling. It really wasn’t so much juggling as it was synchronized dropping. At one point Dr. Gordo attempted to balance a metal folding chair on his face, ending in what must have required stitches after the show. It was at this point that two distinct thoughts popped into my head – This can’t last much longer, and this couldn’t get any worse. I was wrong on both counts. At this point the good doctor had been on stage for 40 minutes, and when all was said and done, his special brand of performance art would last well over an hour. Now I don’t know if you’ve ever spent time with a teenager, but I’d estimate that the attention span of the species clocks in around 3 minutes. At the end of that 3 minutes you’d better have something new and exciting if you wish to avoid seeing their backside walking away from you.

As if narcoleptic independent film, professional dropping, facial lacerations through furniture, and mime (need I say more), were not enough, Dr. Gordon had one more act to perform – the stern lecture. You see, at some point, fairly early on in the performance, the natives had become restless, as teenagers often do, and they began talking quietly among themselves. It didn’t take long for this quiet whisper to become somewhat of a roar, and this was not part of Gordon the Great’s plan.

Sharing one’s faith in a public setting is a tricky thing. And any great evangelist will tell you that in order to effectively reach an audience you must capture their attention and gain their trust. The first is often achieved through dynamic speaking, humor and expression through the arts. Trust happens when an audience feels that you understand exactly whom you are communicating to. On this particular evening, Dr. Gordon had done neither of these things, yet when the time in his script that read “spiritual message” came up, he did not hesitate to charge straight through. I think it’s safe to say that he never once thought to himself “have I gained their attention and earned their trust”? If he did, and was honest with himself, he would have seen that preaching at this particular time was probably going to be more than a little tough. Please don’t get me wrong, even Jesus preached to hostile crowds, and won them over, but it was very hard to tell where this guy was coming from, and it was about to get harder.

The lecture, or more appropriately “guilt trip” came in the middle of the doctor’s sermon. He had obviously lost this crowd well over 40 minutes ago, but the talking had become very loud, and something in him snapped. He turned to the young men and women of the audience, and with the tone and delivery of a substitute teacher, shouted out “Excuse me, this is MY time, and I’m going to wait silently until you can quiet down!” The audience did quiet down, but not out of respect, but rather out of contemplation. You could actually feel them pondering weather or not they should continue talking just to shut this guy up. Being as these were not a group of troublemakers as much as they were plain old bored kids, they actually let Dr. Gordon continue! I felt this was quite generous, being as that I had spent the last fifteen minutes looking for a giant hook to yank him of the stage, and one of my band members had snuck under the front row pews and yelled “TIME REF?!?”

Why relate this story to you all? Is it because I think the church does a bad job at entertaining the youth of today? No, but if you are a church, and you want to put on an event that provides quality wholesome entertainment, you’ve got to think about your target audience. I believe with all of my heart that Dr. Gordon and the sponsoring church had the best of intentions, but I have to ask myself a few simple questions. #1 from a purely stylistic standpoint - was a juggling mime the best opening act for a rock band? #2 are mimes a common source of entertainment for 13 to 18 year olds? And most importantly, #3 as George Clinton might put it; if their booty’s aren’t moving can we really expect their minds to follow? That is to say, if an artist has not captured the hearts of an audience, can we really expect those hearts to be molded by the words we say? I think we owe our audiences more.

But then again, the kids were so elated when the mime act was done, by the time our set started; they stormed the stage like we were The Beatles! We could barely hear our amps all night. We actually thought about taking Dr. Gordo on the road with us!

[tboy]

2003, Tampa. Some CEO hires my wife and I to play the Christmas blowout he bestows upon his lowly employees every year at his house.
-It had been raining that day, and we had to shlep out gear 200 ft through mud to his backyard. Should have gone home then.
-We get stuck in the back corner of his yard on wet grass, 40 feet from the nearest person. Should have split then.
-Night falls. It's dark. They said we wouldn't need lights. Should've split then.
-Turns out to be the coldest night in 3 years. 38 degrees. I've got gloves on. Should've split.
-So cold everyone goes inside the house. Except us and the BBQ cook. Never got invited in. Had to beg for a cup of coffee, and they looked at us like "Who the heck are you two?"
-Played three sets for the cook in the bone-chilling dark, got paid by some house servant, packed, shleped everything back through the mud, now in the dark, and finally split.

[Eric Karonen]

Ashtabula, Ohio, 1970 ... serious stage fright .. singing original music ...

[umasstele]

Ok....mine dosent top most of these....you guys have had some horrible gigs! haha

Probably would be a set of two, one friday night, and one saturday day.
Friday night was a toga party in a haunted barn from the 1800s, where the parents of all the college kids there showed up, and drank all of the booze (yeah whats up with that!), our other guitarist played the leads on 3 songs in the wrong key, and these factors just sorta generally killed the mood for all the band members....to top it off, we were recorded that night, and the CD was circulated around the school, people actually liked it.

Next day, wake up early for a fundraiser gig at a local camp. Drummers dad comes to help him move his gear, and proceded to take charge of everything. He forced us to set up outside on some small cement pad, facing away from any of the guests.

We begin to play at noon, nobody at ALL shows up untill 3, by which time we have already played all of our material, and taken breaks. Spent the next half hour break behind a shed with the band trying to figuire out songs that we could figuire out on the spot...think we ended up playing Gloria for about 10 minutes! And this one was recorded as well.....

[goinpostal]

I haven't played in a band in decades but the worst thing that happened to us-me on guitar and two brothers one playing bass and doing vocals and the other playing drums-did a gig at our high school. Just two songs with speakers in between. Easy, right? Wrong! We picked two songs we knew,practiced,yadayadayada. Time to start the show! First song the bass player freezes big time and forgets the song. I find out he's never performed in front of an audience before. And to make matters worse it's during black history month and we're playing rock stuff. We weren't told there would be black speakers and it was "hinted" to us afterwards that maybe we should have done some blues. That would not have been a problem if the powers-that-be would have told us BEFOREHAND what the show was going to be about. Needless to say we weren't exactly looked upon favorably after that by pretty much all of the high school teachers and principals included.