Funny songs that did not make the big time...

[dandaman]

I remember, a long long time ago as a kid, this local bar band doing an original song called "Cancer Stick".
Lyrics went like this:

(Verse 1)
I am just sittin' here, a huffin' and a puffin'...
That ol' grey smoke is a rollin'out my nose!
My fingers and my thumbs have all turned yellow...
I'm gettin' nicotine in my best Sunday clothes!

(Chorus)
Cancer stick...cancer stick...I wanna live a long time I don't wanna die quick...
And it looks like my problems are all now startin'...
I'm gonna go to the store to get another carton!

(Verse 2)
Me and my best girl were out the other night...
She said "now honey, I rather switch than fight"!
We were a huggin' and a kissin' you bet...
Then she stopped to ask me, have you got a cigarette!

(Chorus and Ride)

danged if I can remember that 3rd verse...

[Ben Harmless]

I love this one, but I can't for the life of me figure out who wrote it. I've even heard it described as "just an old Jamaican folk song." Wherever it came from, it's an example of great songwriting:


In Trinidad there was a family
With much confusion as you will see.
There was a mama and a papa and a boy who was grown
Who wanted to marry a wife of his own.
He found a young girl who suited him nice
And went to his Papa to ask his advice
His Papa said "Son, I have to say no
That girl is your sister but your Mama don't know."

Woe is me, shame in scandal in the family.
Woe is me, shame in scandal in the family.

A week went by, and the summer came 'round
And the best cook in all of the island was found.
He went to his Papa to name the day.
The Papa shook his head, and to him he did say
"You can't marry this girl, I have to say no,
This girl is your sister, but your Mama don't know."

(chorus)

The boy went to his Mama and covered his head
He told his Mama what his Papa has said.
His Mama she laughed and said "Go man go
Your Daddy ain't your Daddy, but your Daddy don't know."

(chorus)