For comic book enthusiasts: The worst super heroes

[Blazer]

I guess we all know our super hero classics, Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Robin,Captain America, the Hulk, the lot. All of them heroic and poised, ready to help out where needed, saving the world from evil. But let's talk about the ones that fail to make the grade at being a super hero, either by lacking superpowers and gadgets or lacking the composition to be a real super hero.

First up, here's one of my favorites. I even use his name on a couple of Forums I'm a member of. Dragonball Z's The Great Saiyaman

Son Gohan, for the ones not familiar with the series, was in his mid teens when he started attending high school after having been home tutored for most of his childhood. While being in a different city, he discovered that that city was enormously crime infested and on three occasions used his Super-Saiyan powers to thwart criminal activities. But every time he did so he found out that people started talking about the "Golden Warrior" (when becoming Super Saiyan, Gohan's hair, normally black, turns in a bright golden color) so seeing that that city would need a hero and to keep people from recognising him as the "Golden Warrior" he had a costume made and as The Great Saiyaman went to fight evil. Saiyaman has super powers: he can fly, shoot beams of energy and has superhuman strength (He once saved an airliner that was going down by simply plucking it from the sky.) So what would make him a failed Super hero? The fact that Gohan is a nerd and performs a highly elaborate (and absurd) dance routine to announce himself when arriving at a scene of a crime, making it impossible to take him seriously. Add to the fact that when he's facing a female opponent, the fact that beneath his helmet hides a shy teenage boy comes into play, which is seen clearly in this clip.

Gohan is also a terrible liar, not being able to keep his secret identity a secret. as this clip shows.



Then there's the one that puts all of what Superheroes stand for to shame, from the little known series "Dr. Slump" Suppaman

Kent Clarke is a part time TV news reporter in a town called Penguin Village and is as you can tell A middle aged man with a sizeble gut. But when eating Umeboshi (Sour plums) he becomes Suppaman (litteraly: "Sourman")

Kent Clarke
Suppaman, doesn't wait for opportunities to fight for justice, rather he creates them. Like the one he's based on, he prefers phoneboxes to change in and if that phone box happens to be occupied he clears it by throwing in a hand grenade. Hand grenades are also used to generate emergencies in which he can play the hero. As for superpowers, Suppaman has none. He rides along lying on his belly on a skateboard pretending to be flying. Suppaman's greatest achievement was when he cleared all the fish from a river in an efford to save them from drowning.

Suppaman in the German version of "Dr. Slump"

[simonc]

But David O'douherty rules.Dig the 80's casio vibes.

[popthree]

as far a super heroes go.. i always thought aquaman and his nemesis 'black manta' were both total wimps.. actually all the members of the 'doom' team were punks. bizarro superman was probably the toughest of the lot, and he was no match for the real superman.

[EddieN]

Dazzler. End of discussion.

[Astro1176]

In the x-men films i was always totally underwhelmed by Storm's ability to make it a bit rainy or windy. I don't even remember her from the comics - either I read the wrong era of x-men or it goes to show how unmemorable she was then too!

[Mojohand40]

from DC comics, 1961.
Later became a member of Legion of Super Heroes.

That's the first one that came to mind.

[Mojohand40]

Originally Posted by EddieN

Dazzler. End of discussion.

+1!
I mean, really a Roller-Skating-Disco-Queen?

[Walker]

Gee, there are a bunch of them, but the one who always annoyed me when I was a kid was Capt. America's late day partner, the Falcon.

[bender-freak]

what/who was the guy, back in the 50's/60's...?????....The Submariner????...Prince Nemo??... from Atlantis, or some such.....

[Tele Fan]

Plaid Lad. Failed applicant to the Legion of Superheros. His powers? He makes things turn plaid. That's it.

[DJG105]

This made its way around the internet a while ago- DC Vertigo's "The Codpiece"
(picture not posted because while it's not graphic or explicit, it's suggestive and potentially not safe for work)

http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article59.htm

Could this have been the inspiration for a weapon seen in Robert Rodriguez's "From Dusk Till Dawn" and "Desperado"?

[popthree]

Originally Posted by bender-freak

what/who was the guy, back in the 50's/60's...?????....The Submariner????...Prince Nemo??... from Atlantis, or some such.....

Prince Namor was no wimp

[Paul in Colorado]

I was a big fan of The Flash and Green Lantern back in my youth. These days, I'm a big fan of The Tick.

I can't think of a bad super hero, but I'm sure there are plenty of them as Bouncing Boy proves. Remeber on "Who's Line Is It Anyway?" When they'd create super heroes with odd powers from audience suggestions and have to do a skit based on them? I loved that.

[Yoni]

As I sit here with my big stack of this months comics I will put out my all time favorite villain out there.

Eye Scream

His mutant power you ask? He turns himself into different flavors of Ice Cream.

[popthree]

i just remembered... one of my favorite movies... "mystery men"

if you enjoy comix and you have not seen this movie, its a must rent.

ben stiller is 'mr. furious' super power ? ... he gets mad

william h. macy is 'the shoveller' super power ? he hits people with shovels !

and it goes on and on like that.. very funny movie

oh.. and tom waits is a weapons designer .. of only non lethal weapons...

ah, youtube

[bender-freak]

Originally Posted by popthree

Prince Namor was no wimp

didn't mean to suggest i thought he was....i just always had the feeling that there were supposedly lotsa bad guys doing stuff all over the planet, but his story lines always revolved around underwater sequences and scenarios...my idea of superheroes and comic "good guys" were guys that could do their marvelous stuff ANYwhere...i always had the same feeling about Aquaman....maybe i have a "sea phobia".....??

[GhostofJohnToad]

Here are some bad ones I always had problems with:

MoonKnight
Aquaman (Namor would kick Aquaman's arse)
Many Many DC villains
Antman (I always think of the SNL skit)
The Enforcers (Spiderman villains)
Vulture
Robin
Mysterio (despite the fact it's a cool idea and name, what a wuss)

Sure I'll think of more. I love/d comic books.

[popthree]

prince namor would have kicked aquamans rear !

namor did do all sorts of crime/evil fighting on the surface of Earth, and even other planets and dimensions... for a time, he was member to a crime fighting team called 'The Defenders' with Dr. Strange, Valkrye, The Hulk. He was replaced at some point with NightHawk... but i think he came back again later... i dunno, i stopped buying the dang things when the price went over .35 cents. but i do still have a bunch of those old rags boxed up and stored.

[markothefish]

I always thought this wonder twin was a TOOL .

[Solcat]

Jubilee from the X men, made fireworks!?

[Nick JD]

Only because no one else has done this yet...

"Worst ... Super ... Hero ... Ever."

[Blazer]

Originally Posted by Solcat

Jubilee from the X men, made fireworks!?

Oh she changed alright.


Look at her now.

Powers: As Wondra, Jubilee wears specifically designed gauntlets that give her superhuman strength and limited invulnerability. Even though the level of strength Wondra possesses is unclear, she has been seen lifting up the engine of a freight train as well as an automobile. She also utilizes hover discs, which enable her to fly.

Prior to losing her powers, Jubilee harnessed the mutant power of energy manipulation. This uncanny ability allowed her to generate and emit pure light-energy in the form of globes, sparks, and streams. These ‘fireworks,’ as she called them, obeyed her mental command and could vary from blinding distractions to powerful explosions that could level buildings. Although the upper level of Jubilee’s former powers were not tested, it was stated that she had the power to detonate matter at an atomic level. As a mutant, Jubilation also had the unnoticed gift of mental invisibility, allowing her to hide from psionic and robotic scans.

Abilities: Wondra has years of training and live combat experience as a former member of the X-Men and Generation X, and as a sidekick to Wolverine. She also harnesses several other talents which are useful to her on the field. Jubilee is a class-A gymnast with near-Olympic potential, is competent in First Aid and CPR, and is skilled as a once-petty thief.